#30 - Mary Anne and the Great Romance, Chp 5 & 6
Hello again! I won't waste your time, so here we go.
Chapter 5 opens on MA walking home from the Arnolds'. She is feeling disturbed (well, I can feel disturbed by things too, and most of those things are a lot worse than a pair of twins fighting). But as she walks, her mind begins to clear up (I can just hear the strains of "Put On A Happy Face" now! Sorry, I just got finished doing Bye Bye Birdie for school.) The first thing MA does when she lets herself into her house is kiss the cat. "Hi, you little Munchkin," she coos. Tigger responds, "As coroner, I must aver..." Well, you get the point.
She decides to start both hers and the cat's dinner. She states that she does this every day since Richard gets home between six and six-thirty, and she's usually home around six. All right, that's vital information that both I and the people reading this snark really needed to know to get on with the life I and they still have when we are finished reading/typing. Whatever. So they decided on lasagna and salad (weird, that's what I'm having for dinner tonight.) Richard comes home and kisses both MA and Tigger on the tops of their heads. Okay, I understand MA kissing the cat, but wtf, Richard? Have you gone mental?
Richard announces that Sharon will work late that night. MA compares it to saying, "Tonight it will get dark." What the hell? In some places (i.e. Norway) it stays light all night. But hey. MA asks why that's so special, and Richard says she can invite Dawn over for dinner. Whoopty-doo. Richard insisted that they eat in the dining room (they never do, basically) and light candles and use the fine china. What the hell? Now I understand all the Richard-is-a-perv thoeries. This is getting damn creepy. MA begins to think that her dad has something on his mind. I thought I had already reached that conclusion.
He takes this time to make an announcement. Sharon's birthday is coming up and he has the idea to throw her a surprise party. Dawn gently suggests that her mom wouldn't really dig that. Richard says it wouldn't be anything big, just a quiet dinner at a restaurant. He says that a client of hers could suggest a business dinner. "On the night before her birthday," MA cuts in, momentarily forgetting that her dad can't freaking STAND to be interrupted. By the way she said it, I was surprised that Richard didn't off her right then and there. But then again, they'd have Dawn as a witness, so bad idea.
Richard continues that if the client agrees, then HE will make the reservation. Dawn says her mom really wouldn't mind something like that. MA suggests bringing her presents to the restaurant and ordering a cake. Dawn insists that there be no waiters or waitresses singing Happy Birthday. God, don't you hate that? That's why our family keeps our birthdays on the DL whenever we go to a restaurant to celebrate. Also, sometimes the birthday songs are intolerably cheesy, like the one at the 99 Restaurant. I'll spare you, though.
MA suggests that her dad order champagne, and adds that it'll only be for he and Sharon, and she and Dawn wouldn't ask for any. Does that mean he'd actually GIVE it to them? God, what kind of dad is he? Dawn suggests that he bring her mom a long-stemmed red rose. Richard says they should hire themselves out as party planners. "Hey, great idea!" exclaims MA, then realizes that her dad isn't a fan of the word hey. What person has not said the word hey in their entire life, I'd like to know? Get real, Richard. Richard isn't pissed, but says he was just kidding because they have enough to do between school and the BSC. Come on, live a little, dude!
MA asks later how old Sharon is going to be. She waits till Richard is out of earshot, because he apparently subscribes to the "never ask a lady her age" school of thought. Dawn says 43. MA wonders why her dad is making such a big thing out of 43 and why not wait till 45. She reasons that it's her first birthday since they started dating. Good reasoning! Have a cookie!
Richard offers to do the dishes so the girls can do homework. They don't tell him that they barely have anything, because they want an excuse to talk. The first thing MA asks Dawn is what she's getting her mom. Dawn says a day planner. She says that she really needs one, and her mom says she wants one. That won't help Sharon. She'll just lose it or Tigger will find it or something. MA isn't sure what to get her, and she suggests a nice pen to go with the planner. Dawn says that her mom would lose it. Hell yeah, she would. It'd roll under her chair at the restaurant and never be heard from again. MA then suggests a book, and Dawn says her mom is pretty picky about what she reads. MA feels hurt that dawn is shooting down all her ideas, and suggests a nice piece of jewelry. Dawn thinks it's a great idea. MA says she saw a cute pin in the shape of a cat, and dawn says her mom doesn't like cats. MA, isn't that something YOU want, and not Dawn's mom? It's like the time I gave my sister an Operation game for Christmas a few years ago because I wanted it.
MA loses her temper and asks if Dawn could help her instead of vetoing everything that comes out of her mouth. Dawn apologizes and explains that she knows her mom better than MA does, and it's hard to be understanding when MA suggests something that dawn knows her mom won't like. That I understand. MA says angrily that she doesn't have any wrong ideas about Sharon, and Dawn makes it sound like MA thinks she's a sleaze. In this day and age, we'd say slut or whore. The girls are silent for a couple minutes and then dawn asks how MA's sitting job went. Dawn seems amazed with Gozzie Kunka's name, and tells MA that for the longest time, she thought Logan Bruno was a weird name. Ooooooooooooh, nice one! MA throws a pillow at Dawn and they end up giggling hysterically.
Chapter Six is a baby-sitting chapter - Jessi is sitting for Matt and Haley Braddock. Is she, like the only one that ever sits for those two? I know she understands the ASL better than the rest of the Cult, but couldn't the others have a go at it once in a while? Okay, so the doorbell rings, and it's Carolyn Arnold, there to play with Haley. Jessi signs to Matt to ask him what he would like to do, and Matt signs back that he wants to ride his bike. Carolyn suggests to Haley that they could start their club. Haley signs to Matt what Carolyn said, and Matt makes a face when he knows it's a girls' club. Jessi speaks to the girls and signs to Matt, "Why don't we go over to the Pikes'? Mal is there sitting for Nicky, Vanessa, and Claire." The girls are happy about seeing Vanessa and talking about the club, so off they go. When they get there, Claire suggests playing Sardines. I personally love that game. It was an after-dinner favorite of Bobby and Ethel Kennedy. If you don't know of the game, here's a link: http://lds.about.com/library/bl/games/blsardines.htm
They say that Sardines can often be played indoors, but ever since the triplets broke a chair, Mrs. Pike said that it had to be played outdoors. Haley suggests doing "eeny meeny miney mo" to pick the hider. "Meeny miny mony moo?" Claire asks. Honestly, what kid of five wouldn't know what eeny meeny miney mo is? Anyway, Vanessa becomes the first hider. Jessi says that everyone has to stand on the patio facing the house and close their eyes, and she will count to 100 to eliminate any speed counting. Vanessa races under the low branches of a huge pine tree before Jessi even reached 20, and when she gets to 100, she says the others can go and taps Matt on the shoulder to signify that the others were now searching. Haley exclaims "Where are they?!" and Claire giggles, and is discovered.
Nicky says that Claire should be the next hider, just for giggling. This turns into a "should not-should too" argument, till Nicky calls Claire monkey breath. Claire looks like she's about to cry, but everyone suddenly kills themselves laughing, including Matt, when Haley had finger-spelled "monkey breath" to him. What a creative, mature insult. The game kinda dissolves after that, and the girls are sitting on the deck talking. Carolyn brings up that Marilyn basically has no friends. Mal asks about GK. Haley and Vanessa nearly spit out their water, but Carolyn calmly explains that Marilyn said that GK's dad is with the government, but they've settled down. Jessi remarks that a "fancy" family like hers would probably settle down in DC or New York. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
They talk for another half-hour and then Jessi leaves with Carolyn and the Braddocks. Carolyn remarks that Marilyn will be jealous with all the signs she's been learning. Dun-dun- DUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
More later. I'm wiped.
Chapter 5 opens on MA walking home from the Arnolds'. She is feeling disturbed (well, I can feel disturbed by things too, and most of those things are a lot worse than a pair of twins fighting). But as she walks, her mind begins to clear up (I can just hear the strains of "Put On A Happy Face" now! Sorry, I just got finished doing Bye Bye Birdie for school.) The first thing MA does when she lets herself into her house is kiss the cat. "Hi, you little Munchkin," she coos. Tigger responds, "As coroner, I must aver..." Well, you get the point.
She decides to start both hers and the cat's dinner. She states that she does this every day since Richard gets home between six and six-thirty, and she's usually home around six. All right, that's vital information that both I and the people reading this snark really needed to know to get on with the life I and they still have when we are finished reading/typing. Whatever. So they decided on lasagna and salad (weird, that's what I'm having for dinner tonight.) Richard comes home and kisses both MA and Tigger on the tops of their heads. Okay, I understand MA kissing the cat, but wtf, Richard? Have you gone mental?
Richard announces that Sharon will work late that night. MA compares it to saying, "Tonight it will get dark." What the hell? In some places (i.e. Norway) it stays light all night. But hey. MA asks why that's so special, and Richard says she can invite Dawn over for dinner. Whoopty-doo. Richard insisted that they eat in the dining room (they never do, basically) and light candles and use the fine china. What the hell? Now I understand all the Richard-is-a-perv thoeries. This is getting damn creepy. MA begins to think that her dad has something on his mind. I thought I had already reached that conclusion.
He takes this time to make an announcement. Sharon's birthday is coming up and he has the idea to throw her a surprise party. Dawn gently suggests that her mom wouldn't really dig that. Richard says it wouldn't be anything big, just a quiet dinner at a restaurant. He says that a client of hers could suggest a business dinner. "On the night before her birthday," MA cuts in, momentarily forgetting that her dad can't freaking STAND to be interrupted. By the way she said it, I was surprised that Richard didn't off her right then and there. But then again, they'd have Dawn as a witness, so bad idea.
Richard continues that if the client agrees, then HE will make the reservation. Dawn says her mom really wouldn't mind something like that. MA suggests bringing her presents to the restaurant and ordering a cake. Dawn insists that there be no waiters or waitresses singing Happy Birthday. God, don't you hate that? That's why our family keeps our birthdays on the DL whenever we go to a restaurant to celebrate. Also, sometimes the birthday songs are intolerably cheesy, like the one at the 99 Restaurant. I'll spare you, though.
MA suggests that her dad order champagne, and adds that it'll only be for he and Sharon, and she and Dawn wouldn't ask for any. Does that mean he'd actually GIVE it to them? God, what kind of dad is he? Dawn suggests that he bring her mom a long-stemmed red rose. Richard says they should hire themselves out as party planners. "Hey, great idea!" exclaims MA, then realizes that her dad isn't a fan of the word hey. What person has not said the word hey in their entire life, I'd like to know? Get real, Richard. Richard isn't pissed, but says he was just kidding because they have enough to do between school and the BSC. Come on, live a little, dude!
MA asks later how old Sharon is going to be. She waits till Richard is out of earshot, because he apparently subscribes to the "never ask a lady her age" school of thought. Dawn says 43. MA wonders why her dad is making such a big thing out of 43 and why not wait till 45. She reasons that it's her first birthday since they started dating. Good reasoning! Have a cookie!
Richard offers to do the dishes so the girls can do homework. They don't tell him that they barely have anything, because they want an excuse to talk. The first thing MA asks Dawn is what she's getting her mom. Dawn says a day planner. She says that she really needs one, and her mom says she wants one. That won't help Sharon. She'll just lose it or Tigger will find it or something. MA isn't sure what to get her, and she suggests a nice pen to go with the planner. Dawn says that her mom would lose it. Hell yeah, she would. It'd roll under her chair at the restaurant and never be heard from again. MA then suggests a book, and Dawn says her mom is pretty picky about what she reads. MA feels hurt that dawn is shooting down all her ideas, and suggests a nice piece of jewelry. Dawn thinks it's a great idea. MA says she saw a cute pin in the shape of a cat, and dawn says her mom doesn't like cats. MA, isn't that something YOU want, and not Dawn's mom? It's like the time I gave my sister an Operation game for Christmas a few years ago because I wanted it.
MA loses her temper and asks if Dawn could help her instead of vetoing everything that comes out of her mouth. Dawn apologizes and explains that she knows her mom better than MA does, and it's hard to be understanding when MA suggests something that dawn knows her mom won't like. That I understand. MA says angrily that she doesn't have any wrong ideas about Sharon, and Dawn makes it sound like MA thinks she's a sleaze. In this day and age, we'd say slut or whore. The girls are silent for a couple minutes and then dawn asks how MA's sitting job went. Dawn seems amazed with Gozzie Kunka's name, and tells MA that for the longest time, she thought Logan Bruno was a weird name. Ooooooooooooh, nice one! MA throws a pillow at Dawn and they end up giggling hysterically.
Chapter Six is a baby-sitting chapter - Jessi is sitting for Matt and Haley Braddock. Is she, like the only one that ever sits for those two? I know she understands the ASL better than the rest of the Cult, but couldn't the others have a go at it once in a while? Okay, so the doorbell rings, and it's Carolyn Arnold, there to play with Haley. Jessi signs to Matt to ask him what he would like to do, and Matt signs back that he wants to ride his bike. Carolyn suggests to Haley that they could start their club. Haley signs to Matt what Carolyn said, and Matt makes a face when he knows it's a girls' club. Jessi speaks to the girls and signs to Matt, "Why don't we go over to the Pikes'? Mal is there sitting for Nicky, Vanessa, and Claire." The girls are happy about seeing Vanessa and talking about the club, so off they go. When they get there, Claire suggests playing Sardines. I personally love that game. It was an after-dinner favorite of Bobby and Ethel Kennedy. If you don't know of the game, here's a link: http://lds.about.com/library/bl/games/blsardines.htm
They say that Sardines can often be played indoors, but ever since the triplets broke a chair, Mrs. Pike said that it had to be played outdoors. Haley suggests doing "eeny meeny miney mo" to pick the hider. "Meeny miny mony moo?" Claire asks. Honestly, what kid of five wouldn't know what eeny meeny miney mo is? Anyway, Vanessa becomes the first hider. Jessi says that everyone has to stand on the patio facing the house and close their eyes, and she will count to 100 to eliminate any speed counting. Vanessa races under the low branches of a huge pine tree before Jessi even reached 20, and when she gets to 100, she says the others can go and taps Matt on the shoulder to signify that the others were now searching. Haley exclaims "Where are they?!" and Claire giggles, and is discovered.
Nicky says that Claire should be the next hider, just for giggling. This turns into a "should not-should too" argument, till Nicky calls Claire monkey breath. Claire looks like she's about to cry, but everyone suddenly kills themselves laughing, including Matt, when Haley had finger-spelled "monkey breath" to him. What a creative, mature insult. The game kinda dissolves after that, and the girls are sitting on the deck talking. Carolyn brings up that Marilyn basically has no friends. Mal asks about GK. Haley and Vanessa nearly spit out their water, but Carolyn calmly explains that Marilyn said that GK's dad is with the government, but they've settled down. Jessi remarks that a "fancy" family like hers would probably settle down in DC or New York. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
They talk for another half-hour and then Jessi leaves with Carolyn and the Braddocks. Carolyn remarks that Marilyn will be jealous with all the signs she's been learning. Dun-dun- DUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
More later. I'm wiped.