#69: Get Well Soon, Mallory! Or Ginger Can't Catch A Break Chapters 1-3

[bleeding_thorn2]

Well, you voted and by popular demand, Get Well Soon, Mallory! won for next snark, the Dawn book will be next up. Sorry so late. And for all of you who want the Girl Talk/Nip/Tuck Snarks, those will be up at some point, I promise.
Without further ado, I bring you:

Comments

[maryannespen]

I feel so fucking bad for Mallory in this book. I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome in 2004, and about five years ago I started to have neurological symptons that don't fit that diagnosis. So in June I FINALLY got insurance and am trying to get a diagnosis. One of the things I struggle with is fatigue, and it's hard when you have to miss things or do them with less zeal because you're so tired you can't keep your eyes open. It's very hard to deal with at 32, because I feel like that is still pretty young, so I can't imagine how much it would suck at 11 even if it only lasts six months instead of rest of her life.

And this is why I will also be popping a gasket later in this snark with the fatigue-shaming that goes on. But I know you will be too, so I'm actually looking forward to it. :D

Great snark! And yeah, I agree, the Macy's parade thing is way over the top. You would think New York, New York, Fuck Yeah!Ann would know better.

[bleeding_thorn2]

I am sorry that you struggle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and I'm glad that you are trying to get a diagnosis, I hope it's soon.

I don't have something like that, but when I was sick so long last year, I actually had the feeling that when certain people checked up on me, they were trying to see how serious it was and if I was faking it. Now, bear in mind I rarely complain about being sick. When I'm out, I really am out. That's why I picked this snark, people bitch that's she's sick. Being that sick knocks you out for a long time.

[anabellabobella]

When I was 24, and in the hospital, one of my aunts, who knew when I was diagnosed!!, actually drive TWO HOURS to verify that, yes, I was really and truly in a hospital bed with IVs in my jugular and chest. I can't stand the people who verify. I can partly understand it since a lot of people self-diagnose since it's "cool" to be sick, but if someone has a verified illness, or is the sort who rarely complains about being sick, take them at their word!!

[bleeding_thorn2]

Or the people that are like, Well I had a cold and I was fine. Cramps can't be that bad. You can't be sick, you were just fine yesterday.

The cold is fine, it's the fucking fever, aches and chills on top of mind numbing menstrual cramps and an upset stomach at the same time that kills you. Plus, puking. Did I mention puking? It's usually 2 or 3 of these things at once.

Fucking people, especially people you think would take you at your word and not need to verify that you're in a goddamn hospital.

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry that this is what you go through. Wonder Woman, you are.

[shatisarockgod]

And, also my ass that eight, EIGHT FUCKING KIDS WILL BEHAVE DURING A GODDAMN PARADE! --lol, exactly. Here comes either the Tylenol or the vodka for everybody sitting around the Pikes

[bleeding_thorn2]

My parents would have been Hell NO if I told them K-Ron was making me come home for a fucking meeting. The club would have ended right there, because a thirteen would not be telling them when to get home. Shit would have been shut down real fucking quick.

[road_baby]

I just realised, Mal has never been kissed, has she? Every other BSC member has been, including Jessi who's the same age and Kristy who is the living embodiment of jock rash. Just one more penny in the 'Ann hates Mal' box.

[bleeding_thorn2]

Never realized it, but it's true. Man, Ann really hated Mal.

[undeadnicole]

I kinda wonder if Ann was actually more like Mallory than any of her other characters and if it's some sort of self-loathing she's got going on? Also, hey Ann, I color my hair VIVID coppery red and guys comment on it all the time because gingers (even fake gingers like me) are HOT so SUCK IT! :D

Loving this snark and can't wait to start reading the Girl Talk ones.

[bleeding_thorn2]

Thank you so much! Can't believe I'm getting, fans, I guess is the right word. Planning on writing some Girl Talk Snark soon! Problem is kinda of broke, so I'm doing the basic account, I hope I can do well with a basic account. Maybe if the snarks really take off, I'll upgrade. For now, I think I'm good.

[anabellabobella]

This segues into how their family loves New York and it's only a train ride away, something a family with eight kids doesn't do often.

They might not. They're obviously rich enough to, but who would want to take those eight kids, most who are downright snots, on a train? Also most hotels have a limit of four people to a room. The Pikes would need three rooms, which means they'd have to have an adult for the third room. One fundy family I snark on has 7 kids, one who's young enough to not count, and they have to get multiple rooms.

This leads us to hear whining about Mallory's goddamn glasses and how she can't get contacts, and get the fuck over it! Just get better frames for the glasses, moron.

The Pike non-parents are cheap as shit and make their kids share the same Halloween costumes every year. Chances are Mallory has to choose from a few pairs of the cheapest glasses the optometrist has.

Of course, Karen gets a mention, that she has an adopted grandmother that lives there and I heard she's a total bitch in that book

[bleeding_thorn2]

I hate the Pikes. Halloween costumes shouldn't have to be shared.

I'll say it again, you are awesome and I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I do hope you're getting better and I know it's lifelong, I just hope it gets better for you.

[anabellabobella]

I'm not awesome, just used to being angry enough that I can complain about it for a few minutes, feel better, then start working on another book (I write). I've learned to cope, and to chuckle sardonically at the people who think I can't see through what they're doing, and at schools who don't think a kid can be too sick to do homework

[bleeding_thorn2]

That's all you can do, grit your teeth and move on. Fuck the other shit.

It always pissed me off when Mal cried fucking poverty, when they are able to get vacations and everything else. Watson wouldn't even buy his kid food at the goddamn circus. My family took like maybe two vacations when I was younger. The big thing to do every summer, was going to Playland or Sesame Place, so Mal could suck it.

I didn't get more vacations until I got serious with my husband. And we split the cost. They can pony up the fucking dough for costumes. Hell, one Halloween me, my younger brother, and 3 kids from the neighborhood kicked in, like, five bucks apiece and all got black cloaks, black hats and fake axes and went as ax murderers. We even got fake blood. And all these was at the fucking dollar store, so don't tell me they can't find fucking costumes.