#69: Get Well Soon, Mallory! Or Ginger Can't Catch A Break Chapters 1-3
Well, you voted and by popular demand, Get Well Soon, Mallory! won for next snark, the Dawn book will be next up. Sorry so late. And for all of you who want the Girl Talk/Nip/Tuck Snarks, those will be up at some point, I promise.
Without further ado, I bring you:( #69: Get Well Soon, Mallory! Or Ginger Can't Catch A Break Chapters 1-3 )
They might not. They're obviously rich enough to, but who would want to take those eight kids, most who are downright snots, on a train? Also most hotels have a limit of four people to a room. The Pikes would need three rooms, which means they'd have to have an adult for the third room. One fundy family I snark on has 7 kids, one who's young enough to not count, and they have to get multiple rooms.
This leads us to hear whining about Mallory's goddamn glasses and how she can't get contacts, and get the fuck over it! Just get better frames for the glasses, moron.
The Pike non-parents are cheap as shit and make their kids share the same Halloween costumes every year. Chances are Mallory has to choose from a few pairs of the cheapest glasses the optometrist has.
Of course, Karen gets a mention, that she has an adopted grandmother that lives there and I heard she's a total bitch in that book.
OMG. Karen ditched her adopted grandma. I think it was Hannie who stepped in and took over.
last year alone I was sick on and off most of the fucking winter
Welcome to my winter, every winter. I have an autoimmune disorder, and no, I don't mean a self-diagnosed disorder using Dr. Internet. My body attacks itself. I've lost organs over it. I spend a good 80% of every fall through spring sick. Today my fever was 100.2, and did that stop me from doing my errands? Nope. If I don't push through it, my life would stop. Yes, it sucks, but I've learned when it's too much, and when it's turned into the flu. As an extra FML, I get too sick from shots, so no flu shot for me either, and it's basically a guarantee I'll get the flu at least once. Yes, I so sometimes get the same fucking flu more than once. I'm crabby because I've had about three hours in the last eight days where my fever was below 100, and my nose is so runny that it's cracking the skin at the top of my nostrils, yet I'm also stuffy (yeah, I hate stuffy-runny), and yeah. FML. I literally almost missed my own wedding.
Mal talks about how tired she is and how homework she has to do, and that would worry me too, but I would think that the school would give her a leave of absence or something for a serious medical condition.
Nope. You can stay home, but you still have to do the work. My school was so serious about that that they sent a teacher to my house twice a week to make sure I did my homework. Fucking-A, if I wasn't in the hospital, they expected me to do homework, never mind having subclavian catheter dressing changes and large surgical wounds to deal with. Mono won't get you out of school work. And if you have a hard-ass teacher with a max-number-of-day-to-miss policy, you could still fail even if you do the work. I was pissed beyond pissed when a teacher failed me for missing more than 12 days. Each three days was a drop in letter grade. I aced ALL the work, but got an F. Gee, Dude, sorry about being in the hospital for a solid month. Maybe I shouldn't have helped pull the class grade average up for you.
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I'll say it again, you are awesome and I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I do hope you're getting better and I know it's lifelong, I just hope it gets better for you.
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It sounds like the Pike kids have to pick their costumes from the regular dress-up bucket. When kids are having to use a bath towel, how often are things even added to their dress-up stuff? Would there even be anything that would fit Mal? And by the time Claire gets things since everyone else has outgrown them, can there even be much still intact? The Pikes are RICH, no matter how much this series wants them to sound poor because they have so many kids. Any family that can regularly take two-week-long vacations every summer (with a couple hired helpers), on top of other vacations, and who can hire babysitters to stay with all the kids so Mom and Dad can run to the grocery store without them, is rich. Families who are poor don't take vacations all the time, and can't afford childcare while they go run quick errands. So they can foot some few costumes.
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It always pissed me off when Mal cried fucking poverty, when they are able to get vacations and everything else. Watson wouldn't even buy his kid food at the goddamn circus. My family took like maybe two vacations when I was younger. The big thing to do every summer, was going to Playland or Sesame Place, so Mal could suck it.
I didn't get more vacations until I got serious with my husband. And we split the cost. They can pony up the fucking dough for costumes. Hell, one Halloween me, my younger brother, and 3 kids from the neighborhood kicked in, like, five bucks apiece and all got black cloaks, black hats and fake axes and went as ax murderers. We even got fake blood. And all these was at the fucking dollar store, so don't tell me they can't find fucking costumes.
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