Comments | bsc_snark: Abby and the Secret Society Part 3

alula_auburn in bsc_snark

Abby and the Secret Society Part 3

May 28, 2013 21:35

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bullying is never okay, mystery, racism, drunk parents, bad parenting, what in the deep-fried hell?, ann hates fat people, babysitting fail, ellen miles (queen of parentheses), abby, shit just got real, arson murder and shyness, this shit just got real, cokie mason, k. ron, zombies would starve in stoneybrook, ann hates poor people, wtf?, stoneybrook lacks empathy, pike family madness, time keeps on slippin', i hate the bsc, stoneybrook lacks common sense, everyone is crazy, rageragerage, i hate ann, annoying kids, unwarranted self-importance, mystery #23 abby and the secret society

Comments 24

lisaerin May 29 2013, 03:39:15 UTC

So, reading this snark has really driven home some lessons I've learned from the BSC ( ... )

kakeochi_umai May 29 2013, 10:38:15 UTC

Seriously. Every time I thought that plot couldn't get more horrible, it did.

jolikescake May 29 2013, 04:10:48 UTC

You win the internet.

alula_auburn May 30 2013, 13:20:14 UTC

ooh, shiny! thank you!

amymarie3 May 29 2013, 06:47:23 UTC

Very good

( ... )

lippian May 30 2013, 22:47:58 UTC

*also got nightmares from reading those synopses* *shudder* *hug my baby*

I have just one tiny little question: what were they going to make Ovaltine with in a bomb shelter? You mix Ovaltine into milk. Where were they going to get the milk? Were they going to make souffles as well? Were they all actually daleks in denial? Daleks are legendary bigots of sorts themselves.

And I love the mental image of a hardbitten investigative reporter from the 1960s, who can't stop drinking... chocolate milk. Cute.

egadthearchaeo June 2 2013, 05:22:56 UTC

Claudia knows about the Cold War but WWII is beyond her....what? Also, Jim and David were lovers, you've convinced me (maybe Jim seems less concerned than he should be because David is a ghost and is still visiting him? I think the book has rotted out my brain). I still think the BSC is secretly in charge of Stoneybrook and have brainwashed the police, I can't explain the complete incompetence otherwise. Everything in this book was complete wtfery. I just don't understand how any of it made sense to Ann, the ghostwriter, or the editors. How did this get published? Also, who rigs the brakes of a car and doesn't consider the possibility that it might kill the driver? How did Armstrong even know what David was up to (considering apparently no one else could figure it out for 20 years, and the only reason that the BSC figured it out was because of the boys' trophy remark). Once again, why didn't David just tell Jim all of this instead of doing this completely stupid and overtly complex egg hunt? And how are those old golf ( ... )

lippian June 2 2013, 19:40:00 UTC

I've got one: if they're such an eeeeeeevil sekrit society, why didn't they just murder the reporter on the private premises and bury his body in the maze? Or if you buy that they "only meant to scare him," why not lock him up somewhere in the country club and torment his kneecaps with golf clubs for a couple of days? Isn't that way less of a gamble than messing with the brakes just to see what will happen?

egadthearchaeo June 2 2013, 23:26:47 UTC

Yeah, I know, there's about a dozen different ways the secret society (and really, how secret could it have been since everyone seems to have heard rumors of it) could have handled the situation, all of which would have made a ton more sense than this book. I still am boggling that the guy is only getting an assault charge-for causing someone's death. Does no one at Scholastic know how reality works?! I would at least expect manslaughter but I guess that would tarnish the innocence of the BSC books then. I kind of want to see a fanfiction where somehow David and Jim (is his name really Jim Johnson-really Scholastic?!) can get back together (I guess I want to see David bought back to life somehow because considering this plot and the complete flanderization of a character who was barely in the series in the first place-why the fuck not?) because they seem like they would make a cute couple and it would also make the BSC world considerably more interesting.

lippian June 3 2013, 03:41:46 UTC

He went into hiding from the cult. He's probably hiding behind a storage shelf in the bomb shelter. He's been down there sucking back Ovaltine for thirty years... or maybe the bomb shelter has a backdoor, so he went down there, hid the plans, escaped out the back, navigated the maze, and moved out to California where he became some character Dawn knows. Someone write this?

And I love the maze. The country club has a maze. Sure. Why not? And of course the plans are hidden in the maze and not on the golf course or in the fancy dining room or someplace that it's normal for a country club to have. They're in the maze, the existence of which is not questioned even after the secret society has retained the caretaker to care for the maze for decades. It's like if the secret society had been headquartered in a library instead and they happened to have a racquetball court and nobody thought that was odd. Or if they'd been inside of a medieval castle which had an arcade. "Where do you think the secret plans are, Abby?" "I don't know, Kristy, ( ... )

Thread 12