back to the WTF-ery of "Baby-Sitters' Christmas Chiller"
First part
Second part
Third part
Fourth Part
Like the title says, back to the WTF-ery that is also known as "Baby-sitters' Christmas Chiller."
Chapter 13 A Stacey chapter
After freaking out over the Stacey-in-the-box, Stacey and Claud have Ethan check it out. Ethan cracks some artsy-fartsy joke about it, but Claudia points out that she has an idea where the pic was taken. She uses a magnifying glass to zoom in and finds a horse behind Stacey's head. Ethan jokes, "Sherlock Holmes!" Claud retorts back, "NANCY DREW, BITCH." Where do you find horses in NYC? Ethan shoots back, "With police? Attached to carriages? At the zoo?" Claud's all, "Police horses have bridles, not harnesses." Know how she knew that? Because Mal and Jessi are nuts about horses. Nyah. Where do you find horses with harnesses? Central Park.
Okay, the pic was taken recently. Sheesh. But something weird is going on. Then Ethan chooses that moment to bring up that the apartment building was built on an old graveyard. Really?
They live in NYC, and there's something strange in the neighborhood. Who they gonna call?
"THERE IS NO STACEY!! ONLY ZUUL!" (Can you imagine?)
But it's just a rumor. Ethan suggest they go to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens to get their mind off all the weirdness. All is well for a while. Then he starts looking over his shoulder again, like he's looking out for someone. Then back to intensely staring at Stacey. Then when they get back to his apartment, he tells them to wait in the foyer and not to move: "I have my reasons, trust me." Then when they get back to Stacey's dad's apartment building and get to the elevator....
"Stacey, darling, love of my life...I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna BASH YOUR BRAINS IN!"
"A very slender girl with hair the color of butterscotch, deeply tanned skin, and dark brown eyes stepped out. She smiled at Ethan. He stepped back. 'Hello,' the girl said in a soft, melting voice." Ethan just turns red, looks at his feet, and mutters hello back. Great. He's fuckin' cheating on Stacey. We all know it.
Chapter 14 An Abby chapter
So yeah! The Stevensons have a security system. And they've had it for a while. But they rarely ever use it, the idiots. They're just too lazy to remember the code. NOW they're going to start using it.
Abby starts worrying about just what she would do if a burglar came into her house and she confronted him/her. She's drifting to sleep when she heard glass breaking. Is it in her mind?
Nope.
Where do Abby and Anna go? They run for their MOMMY, of course. Thee stay in there until the police show up. Mrs. Stevenson runs to the window and tosses the cops the house keys. The cops enter the house, and one of them says through the bedroom door, "Is that Mrs. Stevenson? This is Sergeant Tang."
The alarm wasn't a false one. Cops are searching every inch of the house. What the burglar did was break a pane of glass in the back and tried to open a window to get in. Didn't work, though. Then Abby finds a folded up piece of paper on the floor. Does THIS read "naughty"? Nope, this one reads "nice" in red letters. Well, THAT'S evidence.
Good thing they decided to use the alarm tonight, eh?
Chapter 15 A Kristy chapter
LOL, I love Kristy's notebook entry. She's freaking out over sleeping through the whole thing (bitch, it wasn't your house!), Elizabeth and Watson hearing it happen but not waking her up ("a serious lapse of judgment on their part"), and why didn't Abby call and tell her about it immediately?!
First thing out of Kristy's mouth when she goes to visit Abby? "HEY, I HEARD YOU JUST GOT ROBBED, DO YOU NEED A BABY-SITTER?!" Not really, but "WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME FIRST?!" Abby's all, "Bitch, I wasn't thinking of you when it fucking happened, my mind was elsewhere! Why do you think I think about you all the damn time? It's not all about you! I think we need to break up!"
But Abby's all nonchalant about it, and fixing bagels with cream cheese and lox (YUM) and offering some to Kristy. Abby tells Kristy about the "nice" note. Kristy's all, "OH MY LORD, WE GOT ONE TOO!" So they try brainstorming.
Two naughty and two nice in the same neighborhood.
They're all neighbors.
They all live in big houses.
All of the families have children.
Two of the families have children that they babysit.
WHY DO YOU THINK IT ALWAYS HAS TO TARGET THE BABY-SITTERS CLUB?! Do they really have that many blood enemies? Do Alan Gray and Cokie Mason know no boundaries? Start thinking outside the box, you lemmings.
Same letter carrier.
Same guy shovels their walks of snow.
Same guy does their gardening.
Abby's all, "Hold up. Watson and Nannie let a gardener touch their gardening stuff and mess with their garden?" Yes, they do, because Watson and Nannie don't have the time to garden 24/7. That's just crazy. They WERE going to use a service, but they hired this Mr. Nixon instead. Abby says nearly all of the others in the neighborhood uses Gandy's Gardening Services, and Mr. Hsu thinks they (the Stevensons) should switch from Nixon to Gandy's.
WOW. That's a lot of information they threw about gardening politics into this chapter. Ya think? I'm pretty sure I know where this is going.
Time to go clue-hunting!
They find nothing. Do the girls have anything else to do with their day? Like, oh, I dunno, BABYSITTING? I'm sure they had jobs lined up out the ass for the holidays. Oh well, the neighborhood watch will be meeting that night at the Stevensons'. Maybe they'll learn more there.
At the meeting, they discuss letting other neighbors know when they will be away from their home, and signs in the yard about "Neighborhood watch is in effect, keep Kristy Thomas away." And to watch for delivery people. Mrs. Korman mentions a strange-looking car going down McClelland.
The cops are asking Mrs. Korman if she could make out the year or model while Kristy thinks, "A-ha! Strange car! A clue! I'm glad I thought of it first!" "I just hoped that happened before it was too late--before someone got hurt. Or maybe even killed." Killed? Seriously? This is a BSC book we're talking about, you make it sound so dramatic, Kristy.
..............How much longer do I have? Make the bad book stop, Mommy. *criez*
Second part
Third part
Fourth Part
Like the title says, back to the WTF-ery that is also known as "Baby-sitters' Christmas Chiller."
Chapter 13 A Stacey chapter
After freaking out over the Stacey-in-the-box, Stacey and Claud have Ethan check it out. Ethan cracks some artsy-fartsy joke about it, but Claudia points out that she has an idea where the pic was taken. She uses a magnifying glass to zoom in and finds a horse behind Stacey's head. Ethan jokes, "Sherlock Holmes!" Claud retorts back, "NANCY DREW, BITCH." Where do you find horses in NYC? Ethan shoots back, "With police? Attached to carriages? At the zoo?" Claud's all, "Police horses have bridles, not harnesses." Know how she knew that? Because Mal and Jessi are nuts about horses. Nyah. Where do you find horses with harnesses? Central Park.
Okay, the pic was taken recently. Sheesh. But something weird is going on. Then Ethan chooses that moment to bring up that the apartment building was built on an old graveyard. Really?
They live in NYC, and there's something strange in the neighborhood. Who they gonna call?
Click to view"THERE IS NO STACEY!! ONLY ZUUL!" (Can you imagine?)
But it's just a rumor. Ethan suggest they go to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens to get their mind off all the weirdness. All is well for a while. Then he starts looking over his shoulder again, like he's looking out for someone. Then back to intensely staring at Stacey. Then when they get back to his apartment, he tells them to wait in the foyer and not to move: "I have my reasons, trust me." Then when they get back to Stacey's dad's apartment building and get to the elevator....
"Stacey, darling, love of my life...I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna BASH YOUR BRAINS IN!"
"A very slender girl with hair the color of butterscotch, deeply tanned skin, and dark brown eyes stepped out. She smiled at Ethan. He stepped back. 'Hello,' the girl said in a soft, melting voice." Ethan just turns red, looks at his feet, and mutters hello back. Great. He's fuckin' cheating on Stacey. We all know it.
Chapter 14 An Abby chapter
So yeah! The Stevensons have a security system. And they've had it for a while. But they rarely ever use it, the idiots. They're just too lazy to remember the code. NOW they're going to start using it.
Abby starts worrying about just what she would do if a burglar came into her house and she confronted him/her. She's drifting to sleep when she heard glass breaking. Is it in her mind?
Nope.
Where do Abby and Anna go? They run for their MOMMY, of course. Thee stay in there until the police show up. Mrs. Stevenson runs to the window and tosses the cops the house keys. The cops enter the house, and one of them says through the bedroom door, "Is that Mrs. Stevenson? This is Sergeant Tang."
The alarm wasn't a false one. Cops are searching every inch of the house. What the burglar did was break a pane of glass in the back and tried to open a window to get in. Didn't work, though. Then Abby finds a folded up piece of paper on the floor. Does THIS read "naughty"? Nope, this one reads "nice" in red letters. Well, THAT'S evidence.
Good thing they decided to use the alarm tonight, eh?
Chapter 15 A Kristy chapter
LOL, I love Kristy's notebook entry. She's freaking out over sleeping through the whole thing (bitch, it wasn't your house!), Elizabeth and Watson hearing it happen but not waking her up ("a serious lapse of judgment on their part"), and why didn't Abby call and tell her about it immediately?!
First thing out of Kristy's mouth when she goes to visit Abby? "HEY, I HEARD YOU JUST GOT ROBBED, DO YOU NEED A BABY-SITTER?!" Not really, but "WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME FIRST?!" Abby's all, "Bitch, I wasn't thinking of you when it fucking happened, my mind was elsewhere! Why do you think I think about you all the damn time? It's not all about you! I think we need to break up!"
But Abby's all nonchalant about it, and fixing bagels with cream cheese and lox (YUM) and offering some to Kristy. Abby tells Kristy about the "nice" note. Kristy's all, "OH MY LORD, WE GOT ONE TOO!" So they try brainstorming.
Two naughty and two nice in the same neighborhood.
They're all neighbors.
They all live in big houses.
All of the families have children.
Two of the families have children that they babysit.
WHY DO YOU THINK IT ALWAYS HAS TO TARGET THE BABY-SITTERS CLUB?! Do they really have that many blood enemies? Do Alan Gray and Cokie Mason know no boundaries? Start thinking outside the box, you lemmings.
Same letter carrier.
Same guy shovels their walks of snow.
Same guy does their gardening.
Abby's all, "Hold up. Watson and Nannie let a gardener touch their gardening stuff and mess with their garden?" Yes, they do, because Watson and Nannie don't have the time to garden 24/7. That's just crazy. They WERE going to use a service, but they hired this Mr. Nixon instead. Abby says nearly all of the others in the neighborhood uses Gandy's Gardening Services, and Mr. Hsu thinks they (the Stevensons) should switch from Nixon to Gandy's.
WOW. That's a lot of information they threw about gardening politics into this chapter. Ya think? I'm pretty sure I know where this is going.
Time to go clue-hunting!
They find nothing. Do the girls have anything else to do with their day? Like, oh, I dunno, BABYSITTING? I'm sure they had jobs lined up out the ass for the holidays. Oh well, the neighborhood watch will be meeting that night at the Stevensons'. Maybe they'll learn more there.
At the meeting, they discuss letting other neighbors know when they will be away from their home, and signs in the yard about "Neighborhood watch is in effect, keep Kristy Thomas away." And to watch for delivery people. Mrs. Korman mentions a strange-looking car going down McClelland.
The cops are asking Mrs. Korman if she could make out the year or model while Kristy thinks, "A-ha! Strange car! A clue! I'm glad I thought of it first!" "I just hoped that happened before it was too late--before someone got hurt. Or maybe even killed." Killed? Seriously? This is a BSC book we're talking about, you make it sound so dramatic, Kristy.
..............How much longer do I have? Make the bad book stop, Mommy. *criez*