#8 Boy-Crazy Stacey - (Chapters 7-9)
Chapters 1-3
Chapters 4-6
When we last left off, Stacey fell madly in love for a dreamy 18-year-old lifeguard named Scott Foley. No, not that Scott Foley. Mary Anne thinks she's crazy, Stacey thinks Mary Anne just doesn't understand what it's like to be in love because she isn't ~sophisticated~ and can't fill out a bikini. And the Pikes are as annoying as ever.
Chapter 7:
Two more postcards from Stacey. Mary Anne, you're really slacking here. Do you want Kristy to punish you when you get home? *cues lightning and thunder clap* The first one is to Claudia again, and Stacey starts with I know I'm supposed to be babysitting, but Scott was on duty today and he's all I can think of. Shirking babysitting responsibilities because of a boy...that's the Stacey we know and love/hate! She also got something special from Scott, but she isn't telling Claudia what it is, she'll show her when she gets home. I don't know if Claudia is the one to ask on how to treat something like that. No, I think everyone knows what Stacey gets because it's one of the most lol-tastic moments in the BSC series. Oh, and Mary Anne thinks the gift is dumb, but she doesn't understand. Not everyone can be as ~sophisticated~ and experienced with boys as you, Stacey!
The next postcard is to Kristy and it's about Byron the Emo Triplet. He's got a lot of fears! Stacey mentions that he wouldn't go in the haunted house on the boardwalk, and he also won't go in the ocean, despite knowing how to swim. Maybe he just doesn't like the ocean? I can swim and I don't like swimming at the beach! I know, I'm weird. Anyway, since this is the BSC, Stacey tells Kristy We'll have to talk about this. Because it's your responsibility to fix a kid's problem, not their parents. Creeeeeeepy.
On Tuesday, it's a beautiful day, so Mary Anne and Stacey head out to the beach early with the kids. Um, isn't this a FAMILY vacation? All the Pikes did with the kids so far was they went to the beach with them the day before. Where are they, getting frisky on Mallory's window seat on the third floor?
Since Mary Anne burnt herself to a crisp at the beach the other day, she's taking extra precautions this time. Safety first! Stacey knows all about that. Mary Anne's wearing a caftan over her bikini and Adam's Red Sox hat, puts on sunglasses and extra sunscreen (which she should have done on day one, then she wouldn't be in this mess), and parks herself under the umbrella. Sounds a couple of steps above Mallory's outfit she creates for herself after she's eaten alive by bugs at Shadow Lake. Stacey sees Mary Anne's obviously hot and uncomfortable, so what does she do? Dumps all the kids on her and heads on over to visit Scott at the lifeguard stand! She's got her priorities.
The kids run right to the water (except Byron, because he's a wuss) and Stacey follows, pretending to watch them, but instead makes a beeline for Scott. He greets her with a "Hello, Princess," and she finds out Monday is his day off. Stacey mentally adds this to her list of things she knows about him. Second time in this chapter, but creeeeeeeepy. She briefly glances over at Mary Anne, and finds her busy with Claire, Margo, and Vanessa. And the boy Parents' Mother's Helper is helping her out, so Stacey figures she's ok if she spends all of her time doing more important things. Right away, a bunch of girls show up and Scott says to them "Do you kids know Stacey McGill?" Wow, inflate her ego some more! She's so ~sophisticated~ she makes the other girls look like kids! And you know it's the high schoolers, Stacey's sophistication is that powerful.
Awed by Stacey's presence, the girls back off and flirt with another lifeguard, Bruce, and Stacey's got Scott to herself again. Before she can turn on the seduction, a voice screams "SHARK!!!" Bruce and Scott start blowing their whistles to get people out of the water and Stacey gets off her ass and does some babysitting, helping Mary Anne make sure the Pike Army is accounted for. Even Mallory. Though you know if she got swept away by a shark, no one would notice.
Nicky wants to see the shark, so Mary Anne and Stacey lead them away from the crowd and they stare at the ocean, but can't see anything. Well, I don't think they jump out of the water like dolphins or whales. Adam claims he sees five fins circling in the water, but maybe that's the heat getting to him and he's hallucinating. They head back, and Stacey goes back over to Scott to ask if there really was a shark out there. He calls her "love" and tells her it looked that way, but it's hard to tell. He adds it's really hot out and Stacey immediately volunteers to get him a soda. She runs back to the house without telling Mary Anne why and grabs a soda out of the fridge and brings it to him. So she's stealing drinks from the Pikes to give to her crush. Nice.
He thanks her for it and calls her honey and Stacey says she's dying. Dying! I think I am too...from nausea. After lunch, Mary Anne and Stacey stand together by the water, trying to coax Byron to go in. Let it drop girls! If he doesn't want to swim, he doesn't want to. Calm down! Anyway, he refuses, because he doesn't want to be chum for the sharks. Well, Stacey keeps alternating between doing that and spending time with Scott, with Mary Anne glaring at her each time she runs off. Stacey whines to us about how it isn't her fault and it's the epitome of "bitchy teenager," so I'm including it in its entirety:
Well, could I help it if Scott needed a sandwich and then another soda? I'm sorry if she thought she had her hands full, but it wasn't MY fault Adam dumped a bucket of water over Byron, or that Nicky disappeared for ten minutes. It turned out he'd gone back to the house without telling anyone, but Mary Anne panicked. She was just going to have to learn to cope with things like that.
Wow. I know this is total teenage behavior (for once in a BSC book), but good lord, Stacey is a BITCH. She even said at the beginning that she knew Mary Anne was hot and uncomfortable, but she's still leaving her to do all the extra work. And she spends her whole time playing waitress to the lifeguards. And I wonder how the Pikes feel with Stacey raiding their kitchen to feed the lifeguards. If Dawn was here, she'd smack Stacey in the head and accuse her of being subservient to men. Then she'd go back to plotting how to make herself attractive to boys. See what I meant about Stacey turning into a bitch on vacation?
Come 5:00, when the lifeguards go off-duty, Mary Anne says it's time to take the kids in, because Mallory (of course) and Jordan are sunburned and Claire's tired. Stacey tells her to start, because she wants to say goodbye to Scott. Annoyed, Mary Anne says there's two umbrellas, ten towels, Tonka Toys, buckets, shovels, card games, suntan lotion, beach bags, and a partridge in a pear tree to pick up. Stacey responds by telling Mary Anne to have the kids help her out. Mary Anne says what we're all thinking: "You're getting paid as much as I am, and I'm the one doing all the work." Stacey responds by saying she forgave Mary Anne since she was sunburned. Wait, what? You forgive Mary Anne when you're the one who should be apologizing? Why does Mary Anne always have to be the one to apologize when she isn't in the wrong? If Mary Anne really wanted to let her inner bitch out, she'd tell the Pikes, or take pictures of Scott and Stacey together and mail them to the McGills.
Stacey leaves Mary Anne to fend for herself, and the boy Mother's Helper comes to her aid again, so Stacey decides Mary Anne has no reason to be upset with her. Shut up, Stacey. She saunters up to the lifeguards, and Scott tells Bruce that he'll come around in a minute. Stacey squees to herself because she and Scott are alone. Oh, not in front of the Pikes, Stacey! If you're going to do that, at least go under the boardwalk! Scott thanks Stacey for all her help (what did she do? Make them lunch?) and calls her a lifesaver and princess again. Then he gives her his whistle. They say goodbye and Stacey watches him leave with the rest of the lifeguards. She tells herself he was too shy to say anything else and is convinced that Scott's in love with her too.
I personally think he's got a box of whistles at home that he gives out to random girls just to butter them up. I'm sure if Stacey paid more attention to the people in town, she'd notice all the girls between 12-20 wearing whistles.
Chapter 8:
FINALLY. A postcard from Mary Anne! And she writes a lot more than Stacey. Anyway, this one is to Kristy and she talks about them going to play mini-golf. She also thinks taking care of eight kids isn't any harder than taking care of two or three, because while the kids argue and tease, they help each other. Yeah, the BSC Kool-Aid has definitely gotten to her. Oooh, and she slips in some jibes at Stacey at the end - she calls Stacey a pain and tells Kristy to NEVER show her the postcard. Like she would. Though I guess this makes good blackmail material to keep Mary Anne in the BSC. "If you think of quitting, I'll show Stacey that nasty postcard you wrote about her!"
We skip Wednesday (which probably consisted of more going to the beach without Mr. and Mrs. Pike, Stacey flirting with Scott, and Mary Anne being left to watch the kids alone), because this chapter takes place on Thursday. And, what do you know, it's raining and crappy out. Stacey pouts about how it should have rained on Scott's day off, and I roll my eyes.
At breakfast, Mr. Pike announces they're taking a trip to Smithtown. The kids all start to whine and groan and they say Smithtown is boring. They don't want to go, and Vanessa decides to torture us all by saying I always wear a frown when I go to Smithtown.
Yeah, I guess staring at the bull all day would be pretty dull. But hey, there's a big mall nearby! Oh wait, they don't mean the Smithtown here in New York.
Mr. Pike describes it for Stacey and Mary Anne. Smithtown is in New Jersey (obviously) and it's a restored colonial village, kind of in the same vein as Williamsburg or Sturbridge. Ok, I'll agree with the Pikes and say Sturbridge was pretty damn boring. But Plymouth is where the fun is! *geek* Mary Anne seems to agree with me and acts very interested and Stacey says "That was just the kind of thing that would interest her." Ouch, was that a dig at her? Stacey's bitchiness is really turned up to 11 here!
The Pike Army still doesn't want to go and I guess because she sees this as an opportunity to sneak off and once again rediscover the spark in their marriage, Mrs. Pike tells the kids they don't have to go with them. Everyone's thrilled except Mary Anne. I'm surprised Mallory isn't geeking out over this either, because she always struck me as the history buff type. So the Pikes give Mary Anne and Stacey some money and they drive off.
Within an hour, everyone's bored. There's no tv in the house (which is good anyway, since the BSC is forbidden from letting charges watch it), and they run out of stuff to do. The kids try coloring and reading and playing tag, and Mallory goes upstairs to sit on the window seat and watch the ocean. And she keeps wondering why it feels so strange and why there's handprints all over the window. Finally, Stacey suggests going into town, since it isn't raining. She probably wants to go on the prowl, looking for Scott, but they all agree to go play mini-golf at Fred's Putt-Putt.
Now I love mini-golf, but reading about it is another story. I'll keep it brief. So they get there and Stacey rolls her eyes when Claire calls Nicky a silly-billy-goo-goo. She's probably just embarrassed that Scott will walk by and see her with the Pike Army. I wonder if she wore the whistle.
Ok, now here is where Mary Anne and Stacey borrow a page from Kristy's book and show zero logic. All nine of them line up to play mini-golf together as one group. Did it occur to them that they would take forever to play through that way? And considering Stacey said the course was crowded, it's rude to the other people. Sure enough, Claire takes 27 strokes to get the ball into the cup and a couple behind them asks if they can play through. Stacey's about to say yes, then Margo throws a tantrum saying it's her turn. The guy lets Margo play, she takes 11 strokes, and Stacey lets him and his wife go through before he goes Happy Gilmore on the Pike Army.
They finally get past the first hole and move onto the second. Nicky gets a hole-in-one, and I'm sure he's happy because the triplets finally acknowledge him by offering their congratulations. Then they go back to treating him like garbage. Once again, everyone else takes forever to finish up, and by now, they have a family waiting impatiently behind them. Mary Anne finally realizes "Hey...we should spilt into groups so we don't end up with a putt-putt club wrapped around our necks!" so they split up. Lucky Stacey ends up with Claire and Margo.
They end up stuck on the third hole for a half hour while Claire takes 37 strokes to get the ball in. Margo announces they should have a 20-stroke limit (20?!?!?! I play with a 5-stroke limit at the most!) and before Claire can throw one of her patented "NOFE AIR!!!!!" tantrums, Stacey explains that you want a low score. Regardless, they still end up moving through the course slowly, with both groups finishing before them. They go off to explore the nearby shops, while Stacey's group finishes up. By the time they get to the 16th hole, Claire and Margo whine that they don't want to play anymore. Stacey informs us Claire's score is over 200 at this point. She's also sick of mini-golf, so they go right to the ball return, where you hit the ball down a chute and it gets returned to the shop. And, of course, Claire happens to be the 500th person to return their ball that week, so sirens go off and lights flash and Fred himself gives Claire two free passes. The girls want to use them right away (I thought they didn't want to play anymore?) but Stacey tells them they can use them the next time it rains. Claire calls Stacey a silly-billy-goo-goo, and Stacey says she's one too. They then leave to find the others. God, that was a painful chapter. Who knew mini-golf could be so dull?
Chapter 8:
It's a letter from Kristy to Stacey and Mary Anne! Which only means one thing...it's a completely pointless babysitting chapter that has nothing to do with the rest of the book! And, on top of that, it involves Karen. Nooooo, is Ann trying to torture us?
Kristy tells Stacey and Mary Anne it was a babysitter's nightmare when she was taking care of Karen, Andrew and David Michael that morning. Which is the only time a BSC member ever admits to having a disastrous time babysitting Karen. Because after copious amounts of BSC Kool-Aid, it would have said "Wow! I had a really adventurous time with Karen, Andrew, and David Michael today! And all because of Karen's wild imagination! She's so funny and cute, I wish I had a wacky imagination like she did! Oh, and David Michael and Andrew suck because they aren't Karen." Kristy tells them they should never, ever, ever, EVER let little kids wash a car by themselves, and they should make it a BSC rule.
Well, DUH!
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Geez, Kristy, and I thought you were the Myriah Perkins of Babysitting...
Stacey says everyone's babysitting. In addition to Kristy and the two girls in Sea City, Dawn is babysitting her old clients in California, and Claudia sat for a few families at the mountain resort in New Hampshire where her family's staying. Um, girls? You're on VACATION! Vacation = FREE TIME!!! Can't you get away from babysitting for just a little bit?! ARGH!!!!
So Kristy's left in charge while Watson the Millionaire and Elizabeth go to an estate auction, and Sam and Charlie go off to visit some friends in their old neighborhood. Hey, Charlie's got to keep himself occupied while his Bang Maid, Janine, is away! Please tell me someone got that reference.
David Michael announces he's entering Louie in Linny Papadakis's dog show. So wait...a kid is running their own event without a BSC member? Shocking. Then again, it's an early book, so I can't blame it on the kids doing it themselves because that's what they're used to. Karen decides to stay behind with Andrew, because he's afraid any dog but Louie. Besides, they don't take too kindly when he tries getting a game of Wiggle Puppy going.
Watson the Millionaire gives them the job of washing the 'emergency car,' his old black Ford that he keeps in a shed. This is how you know Watson the Millionaire is loaded - he's got enough cars that he has one just for emergencies. In the garage, he's got a sports car and a "fancy new car" and the Thomases' middle-class station wagon. Who knows what the "fancy new car" is. Anyway, Watson the Millionaire won't get rid of his Ford and he keeps it around just in case, though Kristy's only seen him drive it once.
He drives it into the driveway for them, then he leaves with Elizabeth in the sports car, and I guess the Junk Bucket is out of commission, because Sam and Charlie drive off in the station wagon. Either that, or they decided they could pick up girls easier by driving a station wagon, which looks classier next to the Junk Bucket. David Michael leaves with Louie, so Kristy, Karen, and Andrew get their bathing suits on and gather the supplies for washing the car.
Right after they start, David Michael comes back crying, with Louie following him. Turns out at the dog show, a big dog chased after Louie, who ran away and cut his paw. Kristy leads them inside and tells Karen and Andrew to come with her. But Karen wants to stay outside and tells Kristy she and Andrew can wash the car themselves. Ok, that right away should have been a warning sign for Kristy. But, instead, Kristy decides they can do it themselves, and since the car's black, no one will notice if they don't get it completely clean. So Kristy lets Karen and Andrew stay outside and makes them promise to be good and not open the car windows or spray each other with the hose or empty the sponges out in the garden. Karen and Andrew promise and she goes inside. You can all see where this is heading.
Kristy calls the vet to see if she makes house calls, and of course she doesn't. So, in the days before cell phones, she starts calling around Sam and Charlie's friends' houses to see if she can get a hold of Charlie to drive David Michael and Louie to the vet. While she's playing phone tag, she sees Karen and Andrew come inside and run back out a few times, but she doesn't think anything of it. You'd think someone familiar with Karen and her evilness "overactive imagination" would be suspicious, but Kristy doesn't think anything of it.
She finally gets a hold of Charlie, and he says he'll be home right away. Kristy then goes outside to check on Karen and Andrew and finds them there with the Ford, which is silvery and gleaming. Uh oh...
When Kristy asks how they got the car to look like that, Karen says the sponges were no good, so they used what Watson the Millionaire uses to make the pots shiny and she and Andrew hold out pieces of steel wool. Kristy freaks out and says "Your dad wanted the Ford clean, not naked!" Way to go, Kristy. And I'm surprised a gifted kid like Karen wouldn't realize she was scraping the paint off the car when she was "cleaning" it with steel wool.
Charlie comes home and brings David Michael and Louie to the vet. Elizabeth and Watson the Millionaire come home happy, showing off two crystal champagne flutes they got at the auction. My aunt and uncle go to those things all the time, so I know what that's like. Watson the Millionaire asks how the car washing went, and Kristy shows him what happened. Watson the Millionaire turns pale, and Kristy apologizes profusely for not watching Karen and Andrew. Watson the Millionaire in turn scolds Kristy (and since this is Watson the Millionaire, it's pretty weak) for not keeping an eye on the kids. And again, since this is Watson the Millionaire, Karen gets off with no punishment for stripping the car. He says it's actually a good thing, because he was thinking of painting the Ford purple. Watson the Millionaire wants a Pimpmobile! Karen in turn begs them to let she and Andrew paint it, and thankfully, Watson the Millionaire and Elizabeth say no way in hell. And Kristy hits it home by saying "When chickens have lips." I always thought that was funny. And imagine if Karen and Andrew painted it? It would end up looking like Fozzie's car, after Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem were through with it!
Coming up...Stacey's still a bitch and makes an ass of herself (again), the BSC saves the day (again), and Stacey falls in LUV (again).
Chapters 4-6
When we last left off, Stacey fell madly in love for a dreamy 18-year-old lifeguard named Scott Foley. No, not that Scott Foley. Mary Anne thinks she's crazy, Stacey thinks Mary Anne just doesn't understand what it's like to be in love because she isn't ~sophisticated~ and can't fill out a bikini. And the Pikes are as annoying as ever.
Chapter 7:
Two more postcards from Stacey. Mary Anne, you're really slacking here. Do you want Kristy to punish you when you get home? *cues lightning and thunder clap* The first one is to Claudia again, and Stacey starts with I know I'm supposed to be babysitting, but Scott was on duty today and he's all I can think of. Shirking babysitting responsibilities because of a boy...that's the Stacey we know and love/hate! She also got something special from Scott, but she isn't telling Claudia what it is, she'll show her when she gets home. I don't know if Claudia is the one to ask on how to treat something like that. No, I think everyone knows what Stacey gets because it's one of the most lol-tastic moments in the BSC series. Oh, and Mary Anne thinks the gift is dumb, but she doesn't understand. Not everyone can be as ~sophisticated~ and experienced with boys as you, Stacey!
The next postcard is to Kristy and it's about Byron the Emo Triplet. He's got a lot of fears! Stacey mentions that he wouldn't go in the haunted house on the boardwalk, and he also won't go in the ocean, despite knowing how to swim. Maybe he just doesn't like the ocean? I can swim and I don't like swimming at the beach! I know, I'm weird. Anyway, since this is the BSC, Stacey tells Kristy We'll have to talk about this. Because it's your responsibility to fix a kid's problem, not their parents. Creeeeeeepy.
On Tuesday, it's a beautiful day, so Mary Anne and Stacey head out to the beach early with the kids. Um, isn't this a FAMILY vacation? All the Pikes did with the kids so far was they went to the beach with them the day before. Where are they, getting frisky on Mallory's window seat on the third floor?
Since Mary Anne burnt herself to a crisp at the beach the other day, she's taking extra precautions this time. Safety first! Stacey knows all about that. Mary Anne's wearing a caftan over her bikini and Adam's Red Sox hat, puts on sunglasses and extra sunscreen (which she should have done on day one, then she wouldn't be in this mess), and parks herself under the umbrella. Sounds a couple of steps above Mallory's outfit she creates for herself after she's eaten alive by bugs at Shadow Lake. Stacey sees Mary Anne's obviously hot and uncomfortable, so what does she do? Dumps all the kids on her and heads on over to visit Scott at the lifeguard stand! She's got her priorities.
The kids run right to the water (except Byron, because he's a wuss) and Stacey follows, pretending to watch them, but instead makes a beeline for Scott. He greets her with a "Hello, Princess," and she finds out Monday is his day off. Stacey mentally adds this to her list of things she knows about him. Second time in this chapter, but creeeeeeeepy. She briefly glances over at Mary Anne, and finds her busy with Claire, Margo, and Vanessa. And the boy Parents' Mother's Helper is helping her out, so Stacey figures she's ok if she spends all of her time doing more important things. Right away, a bunch of girls show up and Scott says to them "Do you kids know Stacey McGill?" Wow, inflate her ego some more! She's so ~sophisticated~ she makes the other girls look like kids! And you know it's the high schoolers, Stacey's sophistication is that powerful.
Awed by Stacey's presence, the girls back off and flirt with another lifeguard, Bruce, and Stacey's got Scott to herself again. Before she can turn on the seduction, a voice screams "SHARK!!!" Bruce and Scott start blowing their whistles to get people out of the water and Stacey gets off her ass and does some babysitting, helping Mary Anne make sure the Pike Army is accounted for. Even Mallory. Though you know if she got swept away by a shark, no one would notice.
Nicky wants to see the shark, so Mary Anne and Stacey lead them away from the crowd and they stare at the ocean, but can't see anything. Well, I don't think they jump out of the water like dolphins or whales. Adam claims he sees five fins circling in the water, but maybe that's the heat getting to him and he's hallucinating. They head back, and Stacey goes back over to Scott to ask if there really was a shark out there. He calls her "love" and tells her it looked that way, but it's hard to tell. He adds it's really hot out and Stacey immediately volunteers to get him a soda. She runs back to the house without telling Mary Anne why and grabs a soda out of the fridge and brings it to him. So she's stealing drinks from the Pikes to give to her crush. Nice.
He thanks her for it and calls her honey and Stacey says she's dying. Dying! I think I am too...from nausea. After lunch, Mary Anne and Stacey stand together by the water, trying to coax Byron to go in. Let it drop girls! If he doesn't want to swim, he doesn't want to. Calm down! Anyway, he refuses, because he doesn't want to be chum for the sharks. Well, Stacey keeps alternating between doing that and spending time with Scott, with Mary Anne glaring at her each time she runs off. Stacey whines to us about how it isn't her fault and it's the epitome of "bitchy teenager," so I'm including it in its entirety:
Well, could I help it if Scott needed a sandwich and then another soda? I'm sorry if she thought she had her hands full, but it wasn't MY fault Adam dumped a bucket of water over Byron, or that Nicky disappeared for ten minutes. It turned out he'd gone back to the house without telling anyone, but Mary Anne panicked. She was just going to have to learn to cope with things like that.
Wow. I know this is total teenage behavior (for once in a BSC book), but good lord, Stacey is a BITCH. She even said at the beginning that she knew Mary Anne was hot and uncomfortable, but she's still leaving her to do all the extra work. And she spends her whole time playing waitress to the lifeguards. And I wonder how the Pikes feel with Stacey raiding their kitchen to feed the lifeguards. If Dawn was here, she'd smack Stacey in the head and accuse her of being subservient to men. Then she'd go back to plotting how to make herself attractive to boys. See what I meant about Stacey turning into a bitch on vacation?
Come 5:00, when the lifeguards go off-duty, Mary Anne says it's time to take the kids in, because Mallory (of course) and Jordan are sunburned and Claire's tired. Stacey tells her to start, because she wants to say goodbye to Scott. Annoyed, Mary Anne says there's two umbrellas, ten towels, Tonka Toys, buckets, shovels, card games, suntan lotion, beach bags, and a partridge in a pear tree to pick up. Stacey responds by telling Mary Anne to have the kids help her out. Mary Anne says what we're all thinking: "You're getting paid as much as I am, and I'm the one doing all the work." Stacey responds by saying she forgave Mary Anne since she was sunburned. Wait, what? You forgive Mary Anne when you're the one who should be apologizing? Why does Mary Anne always have to be the one to apologize when she isn't in the wrong? If Mary Anne really wanted to let her inner bitch out, she'd tell the Pikes, or take pictures of Scott and Stacey together and mail them to the McGills.
Stacey leaves Mary Anne to fend for herself, and the boy Mother's Helper comes to her aid again, so Stacey decides Mary Anne has no reason to be upset with her. Shut up, Stacey. She saunters up to the lifeguards, and Scott tells Bruce that he'll come around in a minute. Stacey squees to herself because she and Scott are alone. Oh, not in front of the Pikes, Stacey! If you're going to do that, at least go under the boardwalk! Scott thanks Stacey for all her help (what did she do? Make them lunch?) and calls her a lifesaver and princess again. Then he gives her his whistle. They say goodbye and Stacey watches him leave with the rest of the lifeguards. She tells herself he was too shy to say anything else and is convinced that Scott's in love with her too.
I personally think he's got a box of whistles at home that he gives out to random girls just to butter them up. I'm sure if Stacey paid more attention to the people in town, she'd notice all the girls between 12-20 wearing whistles.
Chapter 8:
FINALLY. A postcard from Mary Anne! And she writes a lot more than Stacey. Anyway, this one is to Kristy and she talks about them going to play mini-golf. She also thinks taking care of eight kids isn't any harder than taking care of two or three, because while the kids argue and tease, they help each other. Yeah, the BSC Kool-Aid has definitely gotten to her. Oooh, and she slips in some jibes at Stacey at the end - she calls Stacey a pain and tells Kristy to NEVER show her the postcard. Like she would. Though I guess this makes good blackmail material to keep Mary Anne in the BSC. "If you think of quitting, I'll show Stacey that nasty postcard you wrote about her!"
We skip Wednesday (which probably consisted of more going to the beach without Mr. and Mrs. Pike, Stacey flirting with Scott, and Mary Anne being left to watch the kids alone), because this chapter takes place on Thursday. And, what do you know, it's raining and crappy out. Stacey pouts about how it should have rained on Scott's day off, and I roll my eyes.
At breakfast, Mr. Pike announces they're taking a trip to Smithtown. The kids all start to whine and groan and they say Smithtown is boring. They don't want to go, and Vanessa decides to torture us all by saying I always wear a frown when I go to Smithtown.
Yeah, I guess staring at the bull all day would be pretty dull. But hey, there's a big mall nearby! Oh wait, they don't mean the Smithtown here in New York.
Mr. Pike describes it for Stacey and Mary Anne. Smithtown is in New Jersey (obviously) and it's a restored colonial village, kind of in the same vein as Williamsburg or Sturbridge. Ok, I'll agree with the Pikes and say Sturbridge was pretty damn boring. But Plymouth is where the fun is! *geek* Mary Anne seems to agree with me and acts very interested and Stacey says "That was just the kind of thing that would interest her." Ouch, was that a dig at her? Stacey's bitchiness is really turned up to 11 here!
The Pike Army still doesn't want to go and I guess because she sees this as an opportunity to sneak off and once again rediscover the spark in their marriage, Mrs. Pike tells the kids they don't have to go with them. Everyone's thrilled except Mary Anne. I'm surprised Mallory isn't geeking out over this either, because she always struck me as the history buff type. So the Pikes give Mary Anne and Stacey some money and they drive off.
Within an hour, everyone's bored. There's no tv in the house (which is good anyway, since the BSC is forbidden from letting charges watch it), and they run out of stuff to do. The kids try coloring and reading and playing tag, and Mallory goes upstairs to sit on the window seat and watch the ocean. And she keeps wondering why it feels so strange and why there's handprints all over the window. Finally, Stacey suggests going into town, since it isn't raining. She probably wants to go on the prowl, looking for Scott, but they all agree to go play mini-golf at Fred's Putt-Putt.
Now I love mini-golf, but reading about it is another story. I'll keep it brief. So they get there and Stacey rolls her eyes when Claire calls Nicky a silly-billy-goo-goo. She's probably just embarrassed that Scott will walk by and see her with the Pike Army. I wonder if she wore the whistle.
Ok, now here is where Mary Anne and Stacey borrow a page from Kristy's book and show zero logic. All nine of them line up to play mini-golf together as one group. Did it occur to them that they would take forever to play through that way? And considering Stacey said the course was crowded, it's rude to the other people. Sure enough, Claire takes 27 strokes to get the ball into the cup and a couple behind them asks if they can play through. Stacey's about to say yes, then Margo throws a tantrum saying it's her turn. The guy lets Margo play, she takes 11 strokes, and Stacey lets him and his wife go through before he goes Happy Gilmore on the Pike Army.
They finally get past the first hole and move onto the second. Nicky gets a hole-in-one, and I'm sure he's happy because the triplets finally acknowledge him by offering their congratulations. Then they go back to treating him like garbage. Once again, everyone else takes forever to finish up, and by now, they have a family waiting impatiently behind them. Mary Anne finally realizes "Hey...we should spilt into groups so we don't end up with a putt-putt club wrapped around our necks!" so they split up. Lucky Stacey ends up with Claire and Margo.
They end up stuck on the third hole for a half hour while Claire takes 37 strokes to get the ball in. Margo announces they should have a 20-stroke limit (20?!?!?! I play with a 5-stroke limit at the most!) and before Claire can throw one of her patented "NOFE AIR!!!!!" tantrums, Stacey explains that you want a low score. Regardless, they still end up moving through the course slowly, with both groups finishing before them. They go off to explore the nearby shops, while Stacey's group finishes up. By the time they get to the 16th hole, Claire and Margo whine that they don't want to play anymore. Stacey informs us Claire's score is over 200 at this point. She's also sick of mini-golf, so they go right to the ball return, where you hit the ball down a chute and it gets returned to the shop. And, of course, Claire happens to be the 500th person to return their ball that week, so sirens go off and lights flash and Fred himself gives Claire two free passes. The girls want to use them right away (I thought they didn't want to play anymore?) but Stacey tells them they can use them the next time it rains. Claire calls Stacey a silly-billy-goo-goo, and Stacey says she's one too. They then leave to find the others. God, that was a painful chapter. Who knew mini-golf could be so dull?
Chapter 8:
It's a letter from Kristy to Stacey and Mary Anne! Which only means one thing...it's a completely pointless babysitting chapter that has nothing to do with the rest of the book! And, on top of that, it involves Karen. Nooooo, is Ann trying to torture us?
Kristy tells Stacey and Mary Anne it was a babysitter's nightmare when she was taking care of Karen, Andrew and David Michael that morning. Which is the only time a BSC member ever admits to having a disastrous time babysitting Karen. Because after copious amounts of BSC Kool-Aid, it would have said "Wow! I had a really adventurous time with Karen, Andrew, and David Michael today! And all because of Karen's wild imagination! She's so funny and cute, I wish I had a wacky imagination like she did! Oh, and David Michael and Andrew suck because they aren't Karen." Kristy tells them they should never, ever, ever, EVER let little kids wash a car by themselves, and they should make it a BSC rule.
Well, DUH!
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Geez, Kristy, and I thought you were the Myriah Perkins of Babysitting...
Stacey says everyone's babysitting. In addition to Kristy and the two girls in Sea City, Dawn is babysitting her old clients in California, and Claudia sat for a few families at the mountain resort in New Hampshire where her family's staying. Um, girls? You're on VACATION! Vacation = FREE TIME!!! Can't you get away from babysitting for just a little bit?! ARGH!!!!
So Kristy's left in charge while Watson the Millionaire and Elizabeth go to an estate auction, and Sam and Charlie go off to visit some friends in their old neighborhood. Hey, Charlie's got to keep himself occupied while his Bang Maid, Janine, is away! Please tell me someone got that reference.
David Michael announces he's entering Louie in Linny Papadakis's dog show. So wait...a kid is running their own event without a BSC member? Shocking. Then again, it's an early book, so I can't blame it on the kids doing it themselves because that's what they're used to. Karen decides to stay behind with Andrew, because he's afraid any dog but Louie. Besides, they don't take too kindly when he tries getting a game of Wiggle Puppy going.
Watson the Millionaire gives them the job of washing the 'emergency car,' his old black Ford that he keeps in a shed. This is how you know Watson the Millionaire is loaded - he's got enough cars that he has one just for emergencies. In the garage, he's got a sports car and a "fancy new car" and the Thomases' middle-class station wagon. Who knows what the "fancy new car" is. Anyway, Watson the Millionaire won't get rid of his Ford and he keeps it around just in case, though Kristy's only seen him drive it once.
He drives it into the driveway for them, then he leaves with Elizabeth in the sports car, and I guess the Junk Bucket is out of commission, because Sam and Charlie drive off in the station wagon. Either that, or they decided they could pick up girls easier by driving a station wagon, which looks classier next to the Junk Bucket. David Michael leaves with Louie, so Kristy, Karen, and Andrew get their bathing suits on and gather the supplies for washing the car.
Right after they start, David Michael comes back crying, with Louie following him. Turns out at the dog show, a big dog chased after Louie, who ran away and cut his paw. Kristy leads them inside and tells Karen and Andrew to come with her. But Karen wants to stay outside and tells Kristy she and Andrew can wash the car themselves. Ok, that right away should have been a warning sign for Kristy. But, instead, Kristy decides they can do it themselves, and since the car's black, no one will notice if they don't get it completely clean. So Kristy lets Karen and Andrew stay outside and makes them promise to be good and not open the car windows or spray each other with the hose or empty the sponges out in the garden. Karen and Andrew promise and she goes inside. You can all see where this is heading.
Kristy calls the vet to see if she makes house calls, and of course she doesn't. So, in the days before cell phones, she starts calling around Sam and Charlie's friends' houses to see if she can get a hold of Charlie to drive David Michael and Louie to the vet. While she's playing phone tag, she sees Karen and Andrew come inside and run back out a few times, but she doesn't think anything of it. You'd think someone familiar with Karen and her evilness "overactive imagination" would be suspicious, but Kristy doesn't think anything of it.
She finally gets a hold of Charlie, and he says he'll be home right away. Kristy then goes outside to check on Karen and Andrew and finds them there with the Ford, which is silvery and gleaming. Uh oh...
When Kristy asks how they got the car to look like that, Karen says the sponges were no good, so they used what Watson the Millionaire uses to make the pots shiny and she and Andrew hold out pieces of steel wool. Kristy freaks out and says "Your dad wanted the Ford clean, not naked!" Way to go, Kristy. And I'm surprised a gifted kid like Karen wouldn't realize she was scraping the paint off the car when she was "cleaning" it with steel wool.
Charlie comes home and brings David Michael and Louie to the vet. Elizabeth and Watson the Millionaire come home happy, showing off two crystal champagne flutes they got at the auction. My aunt and uncle go to those things all the time, so I know what that's like. Watson the Millionaire asks how the car washing went, and Kristy shows him what happened. Watson the Millionaire turns pale, and Kristy apologizes profusely for not watching Karen and Andrew. Watson the Millionaire in turn scolds Kristy (and since this is Watson the Millionaire, it's pretty weak) for not keeping an eye on the kids. And again, since this is Watson the Millionaire, Karen gets off with no punishment for stripping the car. He says it's actually a good thing, because he was thinking of painting the Ford purple. Watson the Millionaire wants a Pimpmobile! Karen in turn begs them to let she and Andrew paint it, and thankfully, Watson the Millionaire and Elizabeth say no way in hell. And Kristy hits it home by saying "When chickens have lips." I always thought that was funny. And imagine if Karen and Andrew painted it? It would end up looking like Fozzie's car, after Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem were through with it!
Click to viewComing up...Stacey's still a bitch and makes an ass of herself (again), the BSC saves the day (again), and Stacey falls in LUV (again).