Jessi and the Bad Baby-sitter! Part 2!
Man, I had trouble getting this up. My laptop is total shit guys. It crashed while I was writing this and I began sobbing wondering how much I lost. But it was fine so here it is. I think the reason that this was my last BSC book is because K. Ron is so transparently insane. Plus the next one was about Mallory and I hated her as a kid. Plus I felt silly going into the kid's section at the bookstore. And now everything has come full circle and I'm reading these damned things again. Let's go!
Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 6!
Jessi and Wendy are taking over a job at the Barretts for Claudia. Not much to report except Claudia uses the word 'inhumane' which I don't believe for a second. And Wendy picks up Marnie which I kinda side-eye. 11 year olds aren't that big and a 2 year old isn't a little baby. Kinda like on The Walking Dead whenever Carl Poppa picks up his zombie whistle sister. I always want him to drop her because omg, having a screaming baby during the zombie apocalypse is like, the stupidest thing you can do. Plus, I hate babies. Sorry for the tangent but there's nothing interesting in this chapter. The kids miss Dawn (preposterous!) and decide to make a video for her of some dumb play. Also, I always hated Dawn's stupid 'no gun' rule. If she watched me as a kid, I would laugh at her, tell her she's not my mom, and shoot her with my Han Solo blaster.
After the sitting job, Jessi calls K. Ron and gives a glowing review of Wendy. K. Ron is like, 'Fine whatever. I wish she was older because someone helping me stay in business isn't good enough for me. And I haven't complained about my stupid club and stupid rules enough through the series.' She also says that Jessi, Mal, and Wendy now share the title of alternate officer which make Jessi nearly cream herself over having a real title. That's pretty sad. I mean, it's not even a real title. It's meaningless. Kristy only gave it to Dawn because she would have whined about not having a title.
Chapter 7!
Mary Anne is sitting at the Barretts and I can't be arsed to cared about their stupid video project. They decide to do Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys Dwarfs with an environmental twist because Dawn wets her panties over that stuff. They also throw in Captain Planet and holy crap! A TV show not in black and white? Also, I can't think of a lamer cartoon out there. But it fits for a bunch of goody little two-shoes like the people of Stoneybrook.
Chapter 8!
We open with this charming line-'“Mallory!” I cried in frustration. “What is the matter with you? Either go to a doctor or get better!”' Now you may think that Jessi is upset with Mal for not going to the doctor because she cares about her health, but that's because you're a decent human being. No, Jessi is yelling at Mal for bailing on a trip to the party store to get crap for the lamest play ever. And Jesus Christ, Jessi is a bitch because she says Mal's tiredness just sounds like an excuse to be lazy. Because chronic fatigue isn't a thing or whatever. And she can't be PMSing because no one in Stoneybrook grows ovaries until they're properly married. With the exception of Stacey, who grew hers when she first saw the saxophone guy in The Lost Boys.
It's funny how things change. Like, I used to like this chapter because it involved shopping and I love shopping. Like, I'm dying for cyber Monday because Holy shit, I need books. I was also pretty interested in the Margo shoplifting angle because I always wanted to shoplift but was always too scared to. I do remember that once in a bath store, someone opened a package off those little scented bath balls and they were all over the floor so I snuck one in my pocket. And that's the only time I stole. Well, that and the Tomb Raider game I never gave back to Blockbuster. Anyway, the point I was getting to was that this chapter interested me then but now I'm just like 'Can the kiddie antics just end?!' When I was young the kiddie antics always entertained me because I could live vicariously through them. But now it's like listening to people's stories about their kids. In other words, trés boring.
Chapter 9!
It's time for another club meeting and Mal managed to make it but she's resting her head on Claud's bed. Jessi doubts that she'll stay awake for the meeting and Jesus, I feel bad for Mal. Sure, the BSC doesn't know she's fighting mono, but they could feel a little sympathetic about it. She's obviously not up for any sitting so why the Hell should she be there in the first place? Jessi doesn't think on it long because it's 5:31 and Wendy hasn't shown up. A job comes in that she could have taken but since she's not there, they can't sign her up for it. That makes K. Ron waily, waily. waily because this means the end of the club. HIRE MORE ASSOCIATES!! It's not like doing brain surgery with your fingers glued together! It's just asking some other kids if they'd like to join! Oh, wait! They have no other friends because they're a clique. You brought all of this on yourself, K. Ron. And I for one couldn't be happier.
Mal breaks up the idiotfest by saying she needs to call her mum to come pick her up because she can't walk home herself. When she leaves, only Claudia is concerned that she may have something serious. K. Ron nixes that and says not to let their imaginations run away with them. Oh! You mean like thinking missing out on one job means the end of your baby-sitting career forever!!!11! That thinking being busy once will make every client say, 'Too Hell with the BSC! Who cares that we've always used them and have a time warp amount of years getting to know them and building a bond! They couldn't cover a job ONCE!' Good Lord, Kristy is an IDIOT!
Wendy comes waltzing in at 5:55 and Kristy snaps at her asking where the Hell was she. Wendy says she was at another job. Everyone tears into her saying she should have called and missed out on a lot of jobs. Wendy is like 'What the Hell? What's the use of the record book if not to see if I was available?' K. Ron is like, 'Logic? In my club? Get the fuck out!' They also say she broke the rule of taking another job without telling them about it and again Wendy is like, 'The fuck? You expect me to hand over my regular sitting jobs?' They explain about how K. Ron is an iron fisted dictator and a stupid, bloody idiot by not letting her clients prefer certain sitters because it might hurt tender fee-fees and the next thing you know Charlotte is fear vomiting all over a pageant judge. Wendy grudgingly agrees to call and offer her jobs around.
After the meeting, Wendy asks Jessi just who blew sand up Kristy's snatch and Jessi excuses her by saying she is the president. Wendy is like, 'That's no excuse to act like a sandy vagina' and Jessi excuses her again, saying she's tense because of the problems they're having. Then Jessi nearly craps herself because, omg! Is the club in trouble?! Hmm, now how can I put this...oh, yeah! *breaks out megaphone* HIRE SOME ASSOCIATES!!
'Also, overthrow K. Ron!'
Chapter 10!
The next day, Jessi shows up at the Pikes for a sitting job and Wendy hasn't shown up yet. Dee is like 'Oh, woe! What am I to do? It's not like I can completely abandon my kids or neglect them! This isn't like taking an out of state trip with no food in the house! It's not like the triplets are about Mal's age when she started sitting! Woe!' Jessi says if she doesn't show up in 15 minutes, she'll call aunt Cecelia to come help. Dee agrees to this and finally takes Mal to the damned doctor.
Fifteen minutes pass and instead of calling her aunt, Jessi calls MA. MA is like, 'Wtf, dude? I'm busy with homework!' But Jessi begs her to come over on the condition that MA can do her homework in peace. MA says okay and comes over. When MA shows up, along comes Wendy. And this is probably the only time that I think 'Yeah, she screwed up and wasn't really responsible' because she says she didn't worry about making it in time because she knew Jessi would be there. But it turns out her neighbour asked her to watch her baby at the last minute. And because the BSC Kool-aid is so strong. Jessi says she should have called around and offered the job up. At the last minute. 'scuse me a mo.
Okay, I'm back. Their argument is cut short by the boys fighting over nok hockey which I had to look up because I had never heard of it before this book. Wendy breaks up the fight and says she'll keep score. Jessi having nothing to do goes to the living room and reads her social studies book...*deep breath* Okay, so if all the kids are entertaining themselves, why was it such a big fucking deal that Wendy was there? Yes, she's watching the boys right now but why the Hell couldn't Jessi do that on her own? The girls are all doing quiet activities. Why do they need two sitters for that? Jessi isn't doing a damned thing to watch them. I'm just confused on all this. The only thing I can see being unfair is that Dee probably paid Wendy for the full job which she wasn't there for.
Mal and Dee come home and Mal has a clean bill of health. The doctor did say she might be a bit anemic and she still has lab work but that otherwise she seems fine. So, you know what that means! Back to the grind, you big whiner! Now you have no excuse not to bend to Kristy's rules! Do you think K. Ron threatened Dr. Dellenkamp to say Mal was okay enough to work? 'That's a really sweet office you have there, Dr. D. It would be a shame if it...burned to the ground.' Or maybe she just threatened to have Karen over for an hour. That's it! I figured out how K. Ron runs the 'Brook! She threatened to not look after Karen anymore so she'd be even more free to wreak havoc and let slip the dogs of war on the innocent civilians. I know I'd be like, 'Yes! I will only call during meeting hours just please keep that choke chain on the seed of all evil!'
'Let's play Let's All Come In!'
Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 6!
Jessi and Wendy are taking over a job at the Barretts for Claudia. Not much to report except Claudia uses the word 'inhumane' which I don't believe for a second. And Wendy picks up Marnie which I kinda side-eye. 11 year olds aren't that big and a 2 year old isn't a little baby. Kinda like on The Walking Dead whenever Carl Poppa picks up his zombie whistle sister. I always want him to drop her because omg, having a screaming baby during the zombie apocalypse is like, the stupidest thing you can do. Plus, I hate babies. Sorry for the tangent but there's nothing interesting in this chapter. The kids miss Dawn (preposterous!) and decide to make a video for her of some dumb play. Also, I always hated Dawn's stupid 'no gun' rule. If she watched me as a kid, I would laugh at her, tell her she's not my mom, and shoot her with my Han Solo blaster.
After the sitting job, Jessi calls K. Ron and gives a glowing review of Wendy. K. Ron is like, 'Fine whatever. I wish she was older because someone helping me stay in business isn't good enough for me. And I haven't complained about my stupid club and stupid rules enough through the series.' She also says that Jessi, Mal, and Wendy now share the title of alternate officer which make Jessi nearly cream herself over having a real title. That's pretty sad. I mean, it's not even a real title. It's meaningless. Kristy only gave it to Dawn because she would have whined about not having a title.
Chapter 7!
Mary Anne is sitting at the Barretts and I can't be arsed to cared about their stupid video project. They decide to do Snow White and the Seven Clever Boys Dwarfs with an environmental twist because Dawn wets her panties over that stuff. They also throw in Captain Planet and holy crap! A TV show not in black and white? Also, I can't think of a lamer cartoon out there. But it fits for a bunch of goody little two-shoes like the people of Stoneybrook.
Chapter 8!
We open with this charming line-'“Mallory!” I cried in frustration. “What is the matter with you? Either go to a doctor or get better!”' Now you may think that Jessi is upset with Mal for not going to the doctor because she cares about her health, but that's because you're a decent human being. No, Jessi is yelling at Mal for bailing on a trip to the party store to get crap for the lamest play ever. And Jesus Christ, Jessi is a bitch because she says Mal's tiredness just sounds like an excuse to be lazy. Because chronic fatigue isn't a thing or whatever. And she can't be PMSing because no one in Stoneybrook grows ovaries until they're properly married. With the exception of Stacey, who grew hers when she first saw the saxophone guy in The Lost Boys.
It's funny how things change. Like, I used to like this chapter because it involved shopping and I love shopping. Like, I'm dying for cyber Monday because Holy shit, I need books. I was also pretty interested in the Margo shoplifting angle because I always wanted to shoplift but was always too scared to. I do remember that once in a bath store, someone opened a package off those little scented bath balls and they were all over the floor so I snuck one in my pocket. And that's the only time I stole. Well, that and the Tomb Raider game I never gave back to Blockbuster. Anyway, the point I was getting to was that this chapter interested me then but now I'm just like 'Can the kiddie antics just end?!' When I was young the kiddie antics always entertained me because I could live vicariously through them. But now it's like listening to people's stories about their kids. In other words, trés boring.
Chapter 9!
It's time for another club meeting and Mal managed to make it but she's resting her head on Claud's bed. Jessi doubts that she'll stay awake for the meeting and Jesus, I feel bad for Mal. Sure, the BSC doesn't know she's fighting mono, but they could feel a little sympathetic about it. She's obviously not up for any sitting so why the Hell should she be there in the first place? Jessi doesn't think on it long because it's 5:31 and Wendy hasn't shown up. A job comes in that she could have taken but since she's not there, they can't sign her up for it. That makes K. Ron waily, waily. waily because this means the end of the club. HIRE MORE ASSOCIATES!! It's not like doing brain surgery with your fingers glued together! It's just asking some other kids if they'd like to join! Oh, wait! They have no other friends because they're a clique. You brought all of this on yourself, K. Ron. And I for one couldn't be happier.
Mal breaks up the idiotfest by saying she needs to call her mum to come pick her up because she can't walk home herself. When she leaves, only Claudia is concerned that she may have something serious. K. Ron nixes that and says not to let their imaginations run away with them. Oh! You mean like thinking missing out on one job means the end of your baby-sitting career forever!!!11! That thinking being busy once will make every client say, 'Too Hell with the BSC! Who cares that we've always used them and have a time warp amount of years getting to know them and building a bond! They couldn't cover a job ONCE!' Good Lord, Kristy is an IDIOT!
Wendy comes waltzing in at 5:55 and Kristy snaps at her asking where the Hell was she. Wendy says she was at another job. Everyone tears into her saying she should have called and missed out on a lot of jobs. Wendy is like 'What the Hell? What's the use of the record book if not to see if I was available?' K. Ron is like, 'Logic? In my club? Get the fuck out!' They also say she broke the rule of taking another job without telling them about it and again Wendy is like, 'The fuck? You expect me to hand over my regular sitting jobs?' They explain about how K. Ron is an iron fisted dictator and a stupid, bloody idiot by not letting her clients prefer certain sitters because it might hurt tender fee-fees and the next thing you know Charlotte is fear vomiting all over a pageant judge. Wendy grudgingly agrees to call and offer her jobs around.
After the meeting, Wendy asks Jessi just who blew sand up Kristy's snatch and Jessi excuses her by saying she is the president. Wendy is like, 'That's no excuse to act like a sandy vagina' and Jessi excuses her again, saying she's tense because of the problems they're having. Then Jessi nearly craps herself because, omg! Is the club in trouble?! Hmm, now how can I put this...oh, yeah! *breaks out megaphone* HIRE SOME ASSOCIATES!!
'Also, overthrow K. Ron!'
Chapter 10!
The next day, Jessi shows up at the Pikes for a sitting job and Wendy hasn't shown up yet. Dee is like 'Oh, woe! What am I to do? It's not like I can completely abandon my kids or neglect them! This isn't like taking an out of state trip with no food in the house! It's not like the triplets are about Mal's age when she started sitting! Woe!' Jessi says if she doesn't show up in 15 minutes, she'll call aunt Cecelia to come help. Dee agrees to this and finally takes Mal to the damned doctor.
Fifteen minutes pass and instead of calling her aunt, Jessi calls MA. MA is like, 'Wtf, dude? I'm busy with homework!' But Jessi begs her to come over on the condition that MA can do her homework in peace. MA says okay and comes over. When MA shows up, along comes Wendy. And this is probably the only time that I think 'Yeah, she screwed up and wasn't really responsible' because she says she didn't worry about making it in time because she knew Jessi would be there. But it turns out her neighbour asked her to watch her baby at the last minute. And because the BSC Kool-aid is so strong. Jessi says she should have called around and offered the job up. At the last minute. 'scuse me a mo.
Okay, I'm back. Their argument is cut short by the boys fighting over nok hockey which I had to look up because I had never heard of it before this book. Wendy breaks up the fight and says she'll keep score. Jessi having nothing to do goes to the living room and reads her social studies book...*deep breath* Okay, so if all the kids are entertaining themselves, why was it such a big fucking deal that Wendy was there? Yes, she's watching the boys right now but why the Hell couldn't Jessi do that on her own? The girls are all doing quiet activities. Why do they need two sitters for that? Jessi isn't doing a damned thing to watch them. I'm just confused on all this. The only thing I can see being unfair is that Dee probably paid Wendy for the full job which she wasn't there for.
Mal and Dee come home and Mal has a clean bill of health. The doctor did say she might be a bit anemic and she still has lab work but that otherwise she seems fine. So, you know what that means! Back to the grind, you big whiner! Now you have no excuse not to bend to Kristy's rules! Do you think K. Ron threatened Dr. Dellenkamp to say Mal was okay enough to work? 'That's a really sweet office you have there, Dr. D. It would be a shame if it...burned to the ground.' Or maybe she just threatened to have Karen over for an hour. That's it! I figured out how K. Ron runs the 'Brook! She threatened to not look after Karen anymore so she'd be even more free to wreak havoc and let slip the dogs of war on the innocent civilians. I know I'd be like, 'Yes! I will only call during meeting hours just please keep that choke chain on the seed of all evil!'
'Let's play Let's All Come In!'