The Babysitters Remember - Part 1 - Prologue & Memories 1 - 3
As promised, I'm more than a one snark wonder. For some reason I've picked a Special to do as my next one - that one where various titbits of character back-stories that were never fully covered in the books are described in all their glory the members of the BSC describe their "most vivid memories." Appropriately, it's because I remember this one rather well, but I also recall enjoying it a lot.
I'm hoping I'll be able to keep this condensed enough whilst still covering all of the stories - this book is pretty damn snarkworthy! So I'll probably summarise each character's account and comment on the stand-out details afterwards.
First, the UK cover:
(Blondie #2 with the mug is Shannon, not Dawn)
It seems kind of cute. Claudia looks really old, and Jessi looks a bit deranged, but everyone else looks about right. I love Stacey's PJs.
Prologue
We start by having Kristy complain about having to write a two page essay on "What I Did This Summer," as an assignment for the aforementioned period. Why? It's so damn easy. I never got homework like this. We only dipped into creative writing on rare occasions. She'd rather have something a little more interesting, though, and doesn't think she can fit a summer's worth of activities into two pages. Well, that's probably because this assignment has been given to the entire of SMS and teachers REALLY don't want to be reading tonnes of shit about the mundane details of their students' lives. That's what your LiveJournal is for.
The matter gets discussed at a slumber party (surprisingly, not changed to "sleepover" in UK additions) hosted at Kristy's manshun. The girls talk about better ideas for an essay title, and Jessi pipes up with "your most vivid memory." I think this topic sounds more fun and interesting than it actually is - it really is just an excuse for random storytelling without a theme. If I had to pick my most vivid memory, I would pick the one from a split second ago, personally. It was a good one. I was snarking a Babysitters Club book, as I recall.
There really isn't any point in so much build up to the theme of the book - why not just make this the title of the essay? We've not even had the proper BSC back-story thrust upon us yet. That's shoved into Kristy's part below to pad out the award for Most Dull and Predictable Memory of the Fecking Book.
Notable Moments in the Back-Story
- "I don't know why I'm so good with kids, but I always have been." What, in all the... year since you've not been a kid yourself, Kristy? There's a lot of this throughout the book.
- "Some people say I'm bossy and have a big mouth... So guess who my best friend is? Shy, quiet, sensitive Mary Anne." Basically implying outright that you're drawn to MA as someone you can control, really.
- It seems Kristy outright pitied Claudia when they were younger, "Although Claud and Mary Anne and I had grown up together and played together, Mary Anne and I were always the best friends. I think Claud felt just a little separate from us." But she relieves her conscience by reminding herself that Stacey came along and Claud got her BFF too.
- "Jessi and Mal... (are) not allowed to babysit at night, except for their own brothers and sisters." Yes Kristy, like you wouldn't want to have some control over every aspect of their family lives if you could. Why is it that siblings are always seen as babysitting charges, instead of, you know, actual siblings?
- I reckon this must be a common theme in all of the back-story dumps, but what is it with the constant "compare and contrast" between BFF couples? "Although Stace and Claud don't look at all alike... they do have a lot in common"/"By the way, in terms of looks, Mal and Jessi are about as different as Claud and Stace"/Mal is white, Jessi is black, etc.
- Shannon, substitute BSC member #1, currently has the role of Alternate Officer while Dawn is in California. The Alternate Officer takes on the duties of any BSC member that can't make it to a meeting. Wow, this is going to look great on your CV, Shannon.
- The prologue closes on Kristy banging on about her Great Idea™, and how this Great Idea™ wouldn'tve come about if she wasn't so good with kids in the first place. This is some pretty egotistical trite right here. But it's a necessary lead in to our first memory...
Kristy
Kristy's memory concerns the first time she was ever allowed to babysit, at the age of ten. This comes about because her mum is stressing about finding a sitter for David Michael when he comes home from daycare (they have a housekeeper that pretty much rocks up whenever she chooses, and today is a flake day). Kristy makes a case for being able to take care of him. And she does, for two hours, during which time many neighbours phone and stop by to make sure everything is OK. The end.
This is a pretty mundane memory (it's basically a babysitting chapter that isn't part of a subplot), but I guess it's significant for Kristy. The sheer delight she exhibits to be an authority figure over her younger brother is quite disturbing.
I also find it a bit worrying that she patronises the fuck out of DM by rolling her eyes at his desire to have privacy when he goes to the bathroom. He's 4! Granted that's still an age when you can run around with a bare bottom without a care in the world, but wanting privacy is hardly something to scoff at. Does she wonder around the house starkers or something?
Kristy is just outright unlikeable here. She again returns to how her and MA were always "the best friends" (italics can hurt, K-Ron) and that Claudia didn't have a best friend until Stacey moved to Stoneybrook. Did we really need this part repeating? As you've probably guessed, it has zero bearing on the plot.
I have to wonder why Kristy's mum kept Mrs Culp as a housekeeper for so long, if she just turned up whenever she felt like it. The book handwaves this by saying they couldn't afford anyone else, but surely it would be better to save money full stop than employ someone completely and utterly undependable?
Kristy's fascinating story closes with the following words: "I had been bitten by the babysitting bug, and I knew I'd be good at it." Just... Wow. I'm all pro self-confidence and shit, but this is ridiculous. Kristy's the sort of person whose company I could tolerate for five minutes, tops.
Pointless exposition moment: I'm going to award an observation from each memory that is notably unfunny, not at all insightful, and has no bearing whatsoever on the story (they are usually in brackets). Kristy's beauty occurs when she's talking to Mrs Newton on the phone while David Michael is using the toilet, "'I've locked the door behind me and I've already put my school things away.' (That part wasn't true, but it would be in a few minutes)." Yeah... I don't care.
Stacey
Because Stacey was a ready-diagnosed diabeetusist when she arrived in Stoneybrook and joined the BSC, we never really got to hear about how and when she found out she was ill and what went down. At the age of 11, Stacey is starting a new school year, and aspires to achieve a lot in that time - including making new friends, and so she gets chatty with a new girl called Allison and invites her to a sleepover at one of her girlfriends' houses. Laine is unimpressed and is generally being a bitch. Stacey is thirsty, so very thirsty. On the evening of the sleepover, she feels unwell but doesn't want to miss it. Allison doesn't do well in trying to get in the girls' good books, because she asks for anchovies on their pizza. Stacey eventually pulls Laine aside and calls her out on her behaviour.
Stacey drinks a lot throughout the evening - so it's a bad time to be sharing a bed with Laine. She wets the bed, Laine throws a fit, and Stacey gets picked up by her parents. Her mum takes her to see a psychiatrist (???), who suggests what Stacey's ailment may be, and a specialist confirms Stacey's fate as "the one with the diabetes."
Allison spreads the bedwetting story around at school, and becomes popular out of being a complete an utter tool, even winning Laine's respect. Stacey, by contrast, plunges to the bottom of the social ladder. She misses a lot of school because of her illness, which the other kids don't understand and start to avoid her for fear of "catching" it. Turns out Stacey leapt at the opportunity to move to Stoneybrook for a fresh start, and manages to achieve all that she aspired to do at the beginning of this episode, all thanks to the BSC and their acceptance of her (even at risk of catching diabeetus).
Stacey is generally much more likeable than Kristy here, but she doesn't get off to a good start. She describes herself as a "native New Yorker" and that you "can't say that about just anyone." Laine, however, overshadows her well and truly (and Allison, of course. More on this later). She essentially possesses Kristy's bossy, controlling and domineering personality, but without the pretence of a "business" to run, it just comes across as even more unhinged. On telling Stacey the news that one of their mutual friends has left their school unexpectedly, Laine declares that they "have to replace her" in their gang. She also seems to run a really tight ship with her friends - giving the last one to arrive at school a hard time "every now and then." This is just bizarre. Finally, I'm a bit bemused by her questioning Deirdre's choice to have three pizzas delivered during the sleepover scene. It turns out that two are for Deirdre's family, but why is it a problem to have extra anyway?!
I like it when she calls Stacey pathetic, just for feeling optimistic about what she wants to achieve in the new school year. She'd be a good snarker, I'll give her that.
Right, so, bed-wetting gate. I have to say, my heart reaches out to Stacey in this account. Wetting the bed is one thing. Wetting the bed at a sleepover at another person's house is one thing. Wetting the bed you're sharing with the snottiest girl in NYC at another person's house at the age of 11 must be pretty damn mortifying. And then there's the being chronically ill and stuff.
I also really don't like how Deirdre's parents handle this - when Laine shrieks and wakes up the entire household, everyone just kind of comes into the room and stares at Stacey. She asks if she can get her parents to pick her up (she's feeling unwell, but doesn't make this known), and I think their immediate willingness to do this just adds to the drama of it all ("yes, God, get this socially inept thing out of here, please!"). I would be comforting her at this point and getting the horrible girls out of the room, but I guess she isn't their responsibility.
I'm a bit aghast that Stacey's mum's immediate reaction, after her daughter wets the bed once and exhibits a whole manner of other physical symptoms, is to take Stacey to a psychiatrist. Does bed-wetting due to a mental illness carry less stigma or something? I'm kind of eager to know the conversations that took place here.
And yeah. We've all known an Allison. I rather like Stacey's remark that "she got a lot of mileage out of the story." It's quite a fitting statement. Now we know why Stacey loves the BSC so much - because her friends in NY were even bigger douchebags.
Pointless exposition moment: "Everyone spread their sleeping bags (Deirdre borrowed mine)." Because... yeah... without the bit in brackets, I'd be really at a loss as to exactly how these girls' sleeping arrangements worked out, and that would make me a Sad Panda. It's just like be forced to witness a really long anecdote where the speaker insists on keeping details in that bear no importance on the story, and it's all you can do to not keep checking your watch (which may be analogue or digital).
Claudia
Claudia is 6. She loves to draw and really struggles with school. Her art teacher assigns them homework, to produce a portrait of "how you see yourself." Claudia draws a bright and beautiful butterfly. As the pupils' pieces are revealed one by one in the classroom, Claudia realises that she was meant to do a self-portrait. When her drawing is revealed, she gets told off for not listening to the instructions properly - while the class laughs at her (except MA and Kristy, but they're confused).
A devastated Claudia pours her heart out to Mimi later that day, who marches straight to the art teacher and points out that Claudia followed the instructions perfectly well, probably better than the rest of the class did. She sees herself as a beautiful butterfly, and so that's what she drew. Claudia receives an apology from her art teacher, but she only cares about Mimi's respect for her and her creativity. She still has the drawing, labelled as having been done by "CALUDIA."
OK, I may be the lamest person alive, but this memory actually brought a little tear to my eye. Aside from the artistic talent, I am Caludia in this story. I could never pay attention at school for the life of me, and misinterpreting or outright not knowing what the basic instructions were was a daily issue. I never got to experience the jamminess that is Claudia's art homework, though. But I can live through her and pretend that I did.
My other observations are quite scattered, so I'll summarise in bullet points:
- Kristy clearly has a gun to Claudia's head as she's recounting this, because, ONCE AGAIN, we're reminded that Claudia had no best friend until Stacey came to town. I know kids that age are obsessed with BFFs, but singling Claudia out, even in retrospect, just seems unduly harsh.
- Janine gets her moments in this episode; I particularly like this exchange:
Claudia: "Janine, I bet you could not even draw a house"
Janine: "Why would I want to?"
BURNED.
Pointless exposition moment: "Mary Anne and Kristy and I did not have to carry much to school - just our lunches and maybe something for break time. (And three times a week, Mary Anne carried her trainers.)" Let me introduce you to my friend here. He's called Mr. NEED TO KNOW BASIS.
That's all for now! Next up: Jessi, Logan, and Mallory. I probably won't get this done for a few days - Logan's story is something quite spectacular and needs extra time to allow for head-desking...
I'm hoping I'll be able to keep this condensed enough whilst still covering all of the stories - this book is pretty damn snarkworthy! So I'll probably summarise each character's account and comment on the stand-out details afterwards.
First, the UK cover:
(Blondie #2 with the mug is Shannon, not Dawn)
It seems kind of cute. Claudia looks really old, and Jessi looks a bit deranged, but everyone else looks about right. I love Stacey's PJs.
Prologue
We start by having Kristy complain about having to write a two page essay on "What I Did This Summer," as an assignment for the aforementioned period. Why? It's so damn easy. I never got homework like this. We only dipped into creative writing on rare occasions. She'd rather have something a little more interesting, though, and doesn't think she can fit a summer's worth of activities into two pages. Well, that's probably because this assignment has been given to the entire of SMS and teachers REALLY don't want to be reading tonnes of shit about the mundane details of their students' lives. That's what your LiveJournal is for.
The matter gets discussed at a slumber party (surprisingly, not changed to "sleepover" in UK additions) hosted at Kristy's manshun. The girls talk about better ideas for an essay title, and Jessi pipes up with "your most vivid memory." I think this topic sounds more fun and interesting than it actually is - it really is just an excuse for random storytelling without a theme. If I had to pick my most vivid memory, I would pick the one from a split second ago, personally. It was a good one. I was snarking a Babysitters Club book, as I recall.
There really isn't any point in so much build up to the theme of the book - why not just make this the title of the essay? We've not even had the proper BSC back-story thrust upon us yet. That's shoved into Kristy's part below to pad out the award for Most Dull and Predictable Memory of the Fecking Book.
Notable Moments in the Back-Story
- "I don't know why I'm so good with kids, but I always have been." What, in all the... year since you've not been a kid yourself, Kristy? There's a lot of this throughout the book.
- "Some people say I'm bossy and have a big mouth... So guess who my best friend is? Shy, quiet, sensitive Mary Anne." Basically implying outright that you're drawn to MA as someone you can control, really.
- It seems Kristy outright pitied Claudia when they were younger, "Although Claud and Mary Anne and I had grown up together and played together, Mary Anne and I were always the best friends. I think Claud felt just a little separate from us." But she relieves her conscience by reminding herself that Stacey came along and Claud got her BFF too.
- "Jessi and Mal... (are) not allowed to babysit at night, except for their own brothers and sisters." Yes Kristy, like you wouldn't want to have some control over every aspect of their family lives if you could. Why is it that siblings are always seen as babysitting charges, instead of, you know, actual siblings?
- I reckon this must be a common theme in all of the back-story dumps, but what is it with the constant "compare and contrast" between BFF couples? "Although Stace and Claud don't look at all alike... they do have a lot in common"/"By the way, in terms of looks, Mal and Jessi are about as different as Claud and Stace"/Mal is white, Jessi is black, etc.
- Shannon, substitute BSC member #1, currently has the role of Alternate Officer while Dawn is in California. The Alternate Officer takes on the duties of any BSC member that can't make it to a meeting. Wow, this is going to look great on your CV, Shannon.
- The prologue closes on Kristy banging on about her Great Idea™, and how this Great Idea™ wouldn'tve come about if she wasn't so good with kids in the first place. This is some pretty egotistical trite right here. But it's a necessary lead in to our first memory...
Kristy
Kristy's memory concerns the first time she was ever allowed to babysit, at the age of ten. This comes about because her mum is stressing about finding a sitter for David Michael when he comes home from daycare (they have a housekeeper that pretty much rocks up whenever she chooses, and today is a flake day). Kristy makes a case for being able to take care of him. And she does, for two hours, during which time many neighbours phone and stop by to make sure everything is OK. The end.
This is a pretty mundane memory (it's basically a babysitting chapter that isn't part of a subplot), but I guess it's significant for Kristy. The sheer delight she exhibits to be an authority figure over her younger brother is quite disturbing.
I also find it a bit worrying that she patronises the fuck out of DM by rolling her eyes at his desire to have privacy when he goes to the bathroom. He's 4! Granted that's still an age when you can run around with a bare bottom without a care in the world, but wanting privacy is hardly something to scoff at. Does she wonder around the house starkers or something?
Kristy is just outright unlikeable here. She again returns to how her and MA were always "the best friends" (italics can hurt, K-Ron) and that Claudia didn't have a best friend until Stacey moved to Stoneybrook. Did we really need this part repeating? As you've probably guessed, it has zero bearing on the plot.
I have to wonder why Kristy's mum kept Mrs Culp as a housekeeper for so long, if she just turned up whenever she felt like it. The book handwaves this by saying they couldn't afford anyone else, but surely it would be better to save money full stop than employ someone completely and utterly undependable?
Kristy's fascinating story closes with the following words: "I had been bitten by the babysitting bug, and I knew I'd be good at it." Just... Wow. I'm all pro self-confidence and shit, but this is ridiculous. Kristy's the sort of person whose company I could tolerate for five minutes, tops.
Pointless exposition moment: I'm going to award an observation from each memory that is notably unfunny, not at all insightful, and has no bearing whatsoever on the story (they are usually in brackets). Kristy's beauty occurs when she's talking to Mrs Newton on the phone while David Michael is using the toilet, "'I've locked the door behind me and I've already put my school things away.' (That part wasn't true, but it would be in a few minutes)." Yeah... I don't care.
Stacey
Because Stacey was a ready-diagnosed diabeetusist when she arrived in Stoneybrook and joined the BSC, we never really got to hear about how and when she found out she was ill and what went down. At the age of 11, Stacey is starting a new school year, and aspires to achieve a lot in that time - including making new friends, and so she gets chatty with a new girl called Allison and invites her to a sleepover at one of her girlfriends' houses. Laine is unimpressed and is generally being a bitch. Stacey is thirsty, so very thirsty. On the evening of the sleepover, she feels unwell but doesn't want to miss it. Allison doesn't do well in trying to get in the girls' good books, because she asks for anchovies on their pizza. Stacey eventually pulls Laine aside and calls her out on her behaviour.
Stacey drinks a lot throughout the evening - so it's a bad time to be sharing a bed with Laine. She wets the bed, Laine throws a fit, and Stacey gets picked up by her parents. Her mum takes her to see a psychiatrist (???), who suggests what Stacey's ailment may be, and a specialist confirms Stacey's fate as "the one with the diabetes."
Allison spreads the bedwetting story around at school, and becomes popular out of being a complete an utter tool, even winning Laine's respect. Stacey, by contrast, plunges to the bottom of the social ladder. She misses a lot of school because of her illness, which the other kids don't understand and start to avoid her for fear of "catching" it. Turns out Stacey leapt at the opportunity to move to Stoneybrook for a fresh start, and manages to achieve all that she aspired to do at the beginning of this episode, all thanks to the BSC and their acceptance of her (even at risk of catching diabeetus).
Stacey is generally much more likeable than Kristy here, but she doesn't get off to a good start. She describes herself as a "native New Yorker" and that you "can't say that about just anyone." Laine, however, overshadows her well and truly (and Allison, of course. More on this later). She essentially possesses Kristy's bossy, controlling and domineering personality, but without the pretence of a "business" to run, it just comes across as even more unhinged. On telling Stacey the news that one of their mutual friends has left their school unexpectedly, Laine declares that they "have to replace her" in their gang. She also seems to run a really tight ship with her friends - giving the last one to arrive at school a hard time "every now and then." This is just bizarre. Finally, I'm a bit bemused by her questioning Deirdre's choice to have three pizzas delivered during the sleepover scene. It turns out that two are for Deirdre's family, but why is it a problem to have extra anyway?!
I like it when she calls Stacey pathetic, just for feeling optimistic about what she wants to achieve in the new school year. She'd be a good snarker, I'll give her that.
Right, so, bed-wetting gate. I have to say, my heart reaches out to Stacey in this account. Wetting the bed is one thing. Wetting the bed at a sleepover at another person's house is one thing. Wetting the bed you're sharing with the snottiest girl in NYC at another person's house at the age of 11 must be pretty damn mortifying. And then there's the being chronically ill and stuff.
I also really don't like how Deirdre's parents handle this - when Laine shrieks and wakes up the entire household, everyone just kind of comes into the room and stares at Stacey. She asks if she can get her parents to pick her up (she's feeling unwell, but doesn't make this known), and I think their immediate willingness to do this just adds to the drama of it all ("yes, God, get this socially inept thing out of here, please!"). I would be comforting her at this point and getting the horrible girls out of the room, but I guess she isn't their responsibility.
I'm a bit aghast that Stacey's mum's immediate reaction, after her daughter wets the bed once and exhibits a whole manner of other physical symptoms, is to take Stacey to a psychiatrist. Does bed-wetting due to a mental illness carry less stigma or something? I'm kind of eager to know the conversations that took place here.
And yeah. We've all known an Allison. I rather like Stacey's remark that "she got a lot of mileage out of the story." It's quite a fitting statement. Now we know why Stacey loves the BSC so much - because her friends in NY were even bigger douchebags.
Pointless exposition moment: "Everyone spread their sleeping bags (Deirdre borrowed mine)." Because... yeah... without the bit in brackets, I'd be really at a loss as to exactly how these girls' sleeping arrangements worked out, and that would make me a Sad Panda. It's just like be forced to witness a really long anecdote where the speaker insists on keeping details in that bear no importance on the story, and it's all you can do to not keep checking your watch (which may be analogue or digital).
Claudia
Claudia is 6. She loves to draw and really struggles with school. Her art teacher assigns them homework, to produce a portrait of "how you see yourself." Claudia draws a bright and beautiful butterfly. As the pupils' pieces are revealed one by one in the classroom, Claudia realises that she was meant to do a self-portrait. When her drawing is revealed, she gets told off for not listening to the instructions properly - while the class laughs at her (except MA and Kristy, but they're confused).
A devastated Claudia pours her heart out to Mimi later that day, who marches straight to the art teacher and points out that Claudia followed the instructions perfectly well, probably better than the rest of the class did. She sees herself as a beautiful butterfly, and so that's what she drew. Claudia receives an apology from her art teacher, but she only cares about Mimi's respect for her and her creativity. She still has the drawing, labelled as having been done by "CALUDIA."
OK, I may be the lamest person alive, but this memory actually brought a little tear to my eye. Aside from the artistic talent, I am Caludia in this story. I could never pay attention at school for the life of me, and misinterpreting or outright not knowing what the basic instructions were was a daily issue. I never got to experience the jamminess that is Claudia's art homework, though. But I can live through her and pretend that I did.
My other observations are quite scattered, so I'll summarise in bullet points:
- Kristy clearly has a gun to Claudia's head as she's recounting this, because, ONCE AGAIN, we're reminded that Claudia had no best friend until Stacey came to town. I know kids that age are obsessed with BFFs, but singling Claudia out, even in retrospect, just seems unduly harsh.
- Janine gets her moments in this episode; I particularly like this exchange:
Claudia: "Janine, I bet you could not even draw a house"
Janine: "Why would I want to?"
BURNED.
Pointless exposition moment: "Mary Anne and Kristy and I did not have to carry much to school - just our lunches and maybe something for break time. (And three times a week, Mary Anne carried her trainers.)" Let me introduce you to my friend here. He's called Mr. NEED TO KNOW BASIS.
That's all for now! Next up: Jessi, Logan, and Mallory. I probably won't get this done for a few days - Logan's story is something quite spectacular and needs extra time to allow for head-desking...