Stacey's Mistake! Part 1!
I gotta tell ya, I should snark books with massive bitchitude more often. Yeah, they're a little tough on my sanity but at least there's lots of material. I tried to remember what I thought of this book when I was little but I honestly can't recall. And now it just makes me want to strangle Stacey and Ann. I can see loving a certain city. I myself love Seattle and L.A. But I don't think that you should act like people not from that city are total brain dead amoebas. Anyway, let's dive right in! Much swearing forthwith!
Chapter 1!
Oh, yay. Let's open with a letter. A Claudia letter at that. You know, I was a bad student. I didn't like school and only did homework for some classes. I'm also a bad speller. That said, Claudia's writing mistakes make no sense. Does she really care so little about education that she just plunges ahead, giving no thought to even sounding something out? It just really bugs me. Anyway, Claudia wrote a letter to Stacey saying she can't wait to see her. As Stacey is reading this a roach runs across her bedroom. Yeah, New York sounds great. I mean, where else can you spend a butt load of money on an upperclass apartment and still get roaches? But no Ann, tell me more about how it's the only worthwhile place to live.
Stacey infodumps us on herself and the reason the BSC is coming to New York. She talks about how there's a lot of homeless people in her neighbourhood and that the actual home owning people want to do something about it. Now I suppose we're to think that they want to help. But it reads like they're tired of there eyes being assaulted by looking at-ew! Poor people! Also having Stacey talk about her fancy apartment and her fancy private school in the middle of talking about homeless people...yeah, that's kinda skank. Anyway, since the Mancusi's are the only childless couple in all of Ann's world, they need a bunch of sitters so they can hold a meeting about the homeless. Stacey suggests that the BSC come over for a weekend and sit.
So, Stacey gets permission for them to come over and they're all very excite. On a phone call with Claudia, she asks Stace what she should wear in New York. Stacey says she can wear the same things she does in Stoneybrook. New York is just a melting pot of fashion! This will be important later so write that down in your copybook. She also suggests Claud wear her 'black outfit' and yay. Thanks for the great description. She says it's covered in stars and sparkles and yeah, I had the same outfit when I was like 8. Then we had a fire and it got smoke damage before I ever had a chance to wear it. I still remember arguing with my mom that it didn't smell that bad even though it stank like Hell and I knew it. But I was gonna wear it on a Vegas trip and fit right in with all the glamorous grown-ups!
Chapter 2!
Stacey is on her way to Grand Central to pick up the BSC. She talks about how so overprotective Maureen is because she doesn't like Stacey going out on her own. Imagine! Being worried about your barely teen daughter wandering one of the most crime-ridden cities there is! But she does admit that it is sensible to be careful there. So some brownie points I guess. Exposition, exposition.
Chapter 3!
Stacey gets the Grand Central and waits at the information booth which is their meeting spot. Whenever I think of Grand Central, I think of The Fisher King. And hey, that had homeless people too. And a blond asshole! Although I adore Jeff Bridges. So Stacey waits and waits and asks if their train was on time. She's pretty condescending, telling the info booth chick that her friends 'Have never been to New York before'. Because only slack-jawed yokels get lost!
They finally come up to her and Stacey is actually happy to see them and acting all happy which will end in 3...2...1. Then she notices that Claudia has a huge suitcase, Kristy is wearing a cap with a collie on it, Dawn is looking around and Mary Anne is looking at a guidebook. What horror! Okay, the only one being somewhat conspicuous is Mary Anne. And Kristy wearing a collie cap? WTF? Stacey when you told Claudia to wear whatever because you see 'everything' in NYC, you said you saw a guy dressed as Batman. Do you really think this:
Is less normal than this:
Shut up! She has a second heart attack when she realises Claudia's suitcase is on wheels and only grampa's guitars have suitcases on wheels. Again, SHUT UP! When I travel I always go with a wheeled suitcase because who the fuck wants to carry around a hundred pound suitcase? And I am definitely not a grampa's guitar. Stacey cools off and asks them what they want to do. So cue MA rattling off guidebook facts. They decide to go to the Hard Rock Cafe and Stacey? You were just complaining about MA looking like a tourist so why are you so happy to go to a well known tourist trap? Is it because you're a snotty little brat?
Claudia points out that they can't very well drag her suitcase around um...why not? Is it really that fucking huge? When I went to Seattle for three months I had a pretty big suitcase and it wouldn't have stopped me from getting on a bus or going into a restaurant. Ann is just grasping at straws about how, oh dear! Those poor country fried souls have no idea how to work a city like beautiful New York! Wibble wibble wibble! So Stacey acts like it's such a Sisyphean task to take a cab to her apartment and drop off their stuff. Shut the fuck up, Stacey. The real horrible ordeal is dealing with your stupid, snotty ass.
Chapter 4!
Dawn writes to Jeff about all the horrors of NYC. Like she saw a huge rat (actually a little mouse). And yeah...why is New York so great again when there's actual vermin in the streets? Now don't get me wrong. Phoenix kinda sucks but at least when I go outside the worse I see is the occasional lizard. Now I've seen scorpions too but not rats. I think I'd die if I had to deal with rats again. Dawn also says she saw a homeless person eating out of a trash can and acts like that's super gross and offensive rather than sad. Man, all these girls are fucking snobs.
So, they get to the Hard Rock Cafe and ooh and awe over it and Stacey just wishes they would shut up. You know, Stacey, you're always going on about how über amazeballs NYC is and yet you get pissed when people are amazed by things. Take that stick out your ass, shut your Goddamn mouth and get the fuck over yourself. Seriously, I know Stacey is a little snot but someone really needs to hit her with a truckful of porcupines. She asks for a table for five and MA squeals that she sounds 'So grown-up!' and that makes Stacey want to kill her. Because it's not like Stacey isn't always squealing about herself and how grown-up she is. This might be it, guys. This might be the book the pushes my hate for Stacey over the edge.
They all make their orders and when Dawn orders a fruit and avocado salad she says 'It sounds so Californian' so I take a second to hate Dawn instead of Stacey. How up your own ass you are, Dawn. Everyone must be reminded where you come from. Goddamn hippie. Kristy orders the ' fill-it mig-nun' and Stacey just about crawls under the table and dies. Yeah, if only. I check the Hard Rock Cafe NYC menu and they don't have filet mignon but they do serve steak so I'll give it a pass. Also how much damn money did Kristy bring that she's ordering steak in New York?
Stacey is dying because they were in-'one of the coolest restaurants in all of New York City, a cool waitress to go with it, and Kristy had just ordered fill-it mig-nun.' Right. 'One of the coolest restaurants'. Every true New Yorker thinks that. When is a chain restaurant cool? 'Oh, I went to Wendy's! It was so swanky! Aren't I just the most unique, cool person you know?' Man, I could go for some Wendy's right now. Also the 'cool' waitress is named 'Meddows'. Because having parents who shriek 'Look how interesting we are!!' and give you a goofy name is cool to Stacey.
After they eat, the unsophisticated members of the BSC buy Hard Rock Cafe shirts and say it should be their club uniforme. And that makes Stacey look for some place to hide...what? You just said it was 'one of the coolest' restaurants in New York and now you're ashamed if the BSC wants to dress in a shirt from there? W.T.F. You are such a snotty little skank, McGill! I'm just...gah! Shut up, Stacey! They go to Bloomingdale's and Stacey is a little snot some more. Because Dawn tripped on the escalator, Kristy keeps yelling about the expense and MA stole a sample of blush. Because they've never been in a store before. I'm pretty sick of Ann painting everyone not from New York as an idiot. I'm pretty sure the BSC has gone to a mall before. Knowing what to do in a department store is not something that is only taught in fancy New York private schools. The only one who was being embarrassing was Kristy. MA made a mistake and Dawn was a little clumsy.
Also, if I ever went to NYC, Bloomingdale's wouldn't be high on my list of places to go. Why? Because I don't like expensive stores unless I'm shopping for electronics. I buy almost all my clothes second hand because I'm a cheapskate and a dirty hipster. Because if I can get a punk vest for $4 as opposed to $80, I'ma go for it. The only reason I would want to see Bloomingdale's is because of that scene in Splash. And if given the option to go to Bloomingdale's or just watch Splash, I'd choose the latter. I love mermaids.
Chapter 5!
In Claudia's letter to her parents, she says all the people in NYC are so cool and dress like magazine models. Is Ann even aware that normal, middle-class people exist? There are millions of people living in that city. I'm sure not all of them on the upper East side with Stacey. Google 'New York people' and select walking. Do they look like people from anywhere else? Of course they fucking do! Because they are! New York is not special! It's just a city like any other across the world! Stop acting like it's fucking Shangri-La! It's not even fucking Cobra-La! Although I will admit, Ann may be a damned snake person.
So, Stacey is going to have a party but before they do that, she takes the BSC around to the apartments of the kid's they're going to watch. Yeah, I'm gonna skim this. I barely care about regular sitting charges much less NYC ones. I catch that Stacey says one of the kids is like Jenny, a picky brat...You mean, just like you, you herniated disk? Because if I had to choose hanging around a little girl who likes to keep clean and make up her own play or a self-centred, self-important little snotrag who thinks I have less brains and class than a fossilised dino turd, I'm not choosing you, Stace.
Chapter 1!
Oh, yay. Let's open with a letter. A Claudia letter at that. You know, I was a bad student. I didn't like school and only did homework for some classes. I'm also a bad speller. That said, Claudia's writing mistakes make no sense. Does she really care so little about education that she just plunges ahead, giving no thought to even sounding something out? It just really bugs me. Anyway, Claudia wrote a letter to Stacey saying she can't wait to see her. As Stacey is reading this a roach runs across her bedroom. Yeah, New York sounds great. I mean, where else can you spend a butt load of money on an upperclass apartment and still get roaches? But no Ann, tell me more about how it's the only worthwhile place to live.
Stacey infodumps us on herself and the reason the BSC is coming to New York. She talks about how there's a lot of homeless people in her neighbourhood and that the actual home owning people want to do something about it. Now I suppose we're to think that they want to help. But it reads like they're tired of there eyes being assaulted by looking at-ew! Poor people! Also having Stacey talk about her fancy apartment and her fancy private school in the middle of talking about homeless people...yeah, that's kinda skank. Anyway, since the Mancusi's are the only childless couple in all of Ann's world, they need a bunch of sitters so they can hold a meeting about the homeless. Stacey suggests that the BSC come over for a weekend and sit.
So, Stacey gets permission for them to come over and they're all very excite. On a phone call with Claudia, she asks Stace what she should wear in New York. Stacey says she can wear the same things she does in Stoneybrook. New York is just a melting pot of fashion! This will be important later so write that down in your copybook. She also suggests Claud wear her 'black outfit' and yay. Thanks for the great description. She says it's covered in stars and sparkles and yeah, I had the same outfit when I was like 8. Then we had a fire and it got smoke damage before I ever had a chance to wear it. I still remember arguing with my mom that it didn't smell that bad even though it stank like Hell and I knew it. But I was gonna wear it on a Vegas trip and fit right in with all the glamorous grown-ups!
Chapter 2!
Stacey is on her way to Grand Central to pick up the BSC. She talks about how so overprotective Maureen is because she doesn't like Stacey going out on her own. Imagine! Being worried about your barely teen daughter wandering one of the most crime-ridden cities there is! But she does admit that it is sensible to be careful there. So some brownie points I guess. Exposition, exposition.
Chapter 3!
Stacey gets the Grand Central and waits at the information booth which is their meeting spot. Whenever I think of Grand Central, I think of The Fisher King. And hey, that had homeless people too. And a blond asshole! Although I adore Jeff Bridges. So Stacey waits and waits and asks if their train was on time. She's pretty condescending, telling the info booth chick that her friends 'Have never been to New York before'. Because only slack-jawed yokels get lost!
They finally come up to her and Stacey is actually happy to see them and acting all happy which will end in 3...2...1. Then she notices that Claudia has a huge suitcase, Kristy is wearing a cap with a collie on it, Dawn is looking around and Mary Anne is looking at a guidebook. What horror! Okay, the only one being somewhat conspicuous is Mary Anne. And Kristy wearing a collie cap? WTF? Stacey when you told Claudia to wear whatever because you see 'everything' in NYC, you said you saw a guy dressed as Batman. Do you really think this:
Is less normal than this:
Shut up! She has a second heart attack when she realises Claudia's suitcase is on wheels and only grampa's guitars have suitcases on wheels. Again, SHUT UP! When I travel I always go with a wheeled suitcase because who the fuck wants to carry around a hundred pound suitcase? And I am definitely not a grampa's guitar. Stacey cools off and asks them what they want to do. So cue MA rattling off guidebook facts. They decide to go to the Hard Rock Cafe and Stacey? You were just complaining about MA looking like a tourist so why are you so happy to go to a well known tourist trap? Is it because you're a snotty little brat?
Claudia points out that they can't very well drag her suitcase around um...why not? Is it really that fucking huge? When I went to Seattle for three months I had a pretty big suitcase and it wouldn't have stopped me from getting on a bus or going into a restaurant. Ann is just grasping at straws about how, oh dear! Those poor country fried souls have no idea how to work a city like beautiful New York! Wibble wibble wibble! So Stacey acts like it's such a Sisyphean task to take a cab to her apartment and drop off their stuff. Shut the fuck up, Stacey. The real horrible ordeal is dealing with your stupid, snotty ass.
Chapter 4!
Dawn writes to Jeff about all the horrors of NYC. Like she saw a huge rat (actually a little mouse). And yeah...why is New York so great again when there's actual vermin in the streets? Now don't get me wrong. Phoenix kinda sucks but at least when I go outside the worse I see is the occasional lizard. Now I've seen scorpions too but not rats. I think I'd die if I had to deal with rats again. Dawn also says she saw a homeless person eating out of a trash can and acts like that's super gross and offensive rather than sad. Man, all these girls are fucking snobs.
So, they get to the Hard Rock Cafe and ooh and awe over it and Stacey just wishes they would shut up. You know, Stacey, you're always going on about how über amazeballs NYC is and yet you get pissed when people are amazed by things. Take that stick out your ass, shut your Goddamn mouth and get the fuck over yourself. Seriously, I know Stacey is a little snot but someone really needs to hit her with a truckful of porcupines. She asks for a table for five and MA squeals that she sounds 'So grown-up!' and that makes Stacey want to kill her. Because it's not like Stacey isn't always squealing about herself and how grown-up she is. This might be it, guys. This might be the book the pushes my hate for Stacey over the edge.
They all make their orders and when Dawn orders a fruit and avocado salad she says 'It sounds so Californian' so I take a second to hate Dawn instead of Stacey. How up your own ass you are, Dawn. Everyone must be reminded where you come from. Goddamn hippie. Kristy orders the ' fill-it mig-nun' and Stacey just about crawls under the table and dies. Yeah, if only. I check the Hard Rock Cafe NYC menu and they don't have filet mignon but they do serve steak so I'll give it a pass. Also how much damn money did Kristy bring that she's ordering steak in New York?
Stacey is dying because they were in-'one of the coolest restaurants in all of New York City, a cool waitress to go with it, and Kristy had just ordered fill-it mig-nun.' Right. 'One of the coolest restaurants'. Every true New Yorker thinks that. When is a chain restaurant cool? 'Oh, I went to Wendy's! It was so swanky! Aren't I just the most unique, cool person you know?' Man, I could go for some Wendy's right now. Also the 'cool' waitress is named 'Meddows'. Because having parents who shriek 'Look how interesting we are!!' and give you a goofy name is cool to Stacey.
After they eat, the unsophisticated members of the BSC buy Hard Rock Cafe shirts and say it should be their club uniforme. And that makes Stacey look for some place to hide...what? You just said it was 'one of the coolest' restaurants in New York and now you're ashamed if the BSC wants to dress in a shirt from there? W.T.F. You are such a snotty little skank, McGill! I'm just...gah! Shut up, Stacey! They go to Bloomingdale's and Stacey is a little snot some more. Because Dawn tripped on the escalator, Kristy keeps yelling about the expense and MA stole a sample of blush. Because they've never been in a store before. I'm pretty sick of Ann painting everyone not from New York as an idiot. I'm pretty sure the BSC has gone to a mall before. Knowing what to do in a department store is not something that is only taught in fancy New York private schools. The only one who was being embarrassing was Kristy. MA made a mistake and Dawn was a little clumsy.
Also, if I ever went to NYC, Bloomingdale's wouldn't be high on my list of places to go. Why? Because I don't like expensive stores unless I'm shopping for electronics. I buy almost all my clothes second hand because I'm a cheapskate and a dirty hipster. Because if I can get a punk vest for $4 as opposed to $80, I'ma go for it. The only reason I would want to see Bloomingdale's is because of that scene in Splash. And if given the option to go to Bloomingdale's or just watch Splash, I'd choose the latter. I love mermaids.
Chapter 5!
In Claudia's letter to her parents, she says all the people in NYC are so cool and dress like magazine models. Is Ann even aware that normal, middle-class people exist? There are millions of people living in that city. I'm sure not all of them on the upper East side with Stacey. Google 'New York people' and select walking. Do they look like people from anywhere else? Of course they fucking do! Because they are! New York is not special! It's just a city like any other across the world! Stop acting like it's fucking Shangri-La! It's not even fucking Cobra-La! Although I will admit, Ann may be a damned snake person.
So, Stacey is going to have a party but before they do that, she takes the BSC around to the apartments of the kid's they're going to watch. Yeah, I'm gonna skim this. I barely care about regular sitting charges much less NYC ones. I catch that Stacey says one of the kids is like Jenny, a picky brat...You mean, just like you, you herniated disk? Because if I had to choose hanging around a little girl who likes to keep clean and make up her own play or a self-centred, self-important little snotrag who thinks I have less brains and class than a fossilised dino turd, I'm not choosing you, Stace.