Stacey's Mistake! Part 2!
I have to admit, I was half dreading and half jazzed at writing more of this snark. On one hand, I want to drown Stacey in a vat of chocolate. On the other hand, it is kinda fun to tear into her. And knowing people enjoy that is nice too. Also I found this on Tumblr and have been laughing for about ten years. What can I say? I love Pacific Rim and kitties. Especially fatties. I also found something that fit in so perfect. Really, Stacey. You're not cute.
Part 1!
Chapter 6!
The BSC is getting ready for their party and Stacey says Laine is coming over early to help. Stacey wrongly thinks Claud and Laine will get along even though they have nothing in common because they're both friends with her. Right, because being petty and jealous isn't a huge part of adolescence at all. She also says Claudia is smart but I beg to differ. MA says everyone has to get dressed in what Stacey says and Stacey is like no you don't. So, after whining about how they don't fit in, Stacey refuses to help them when they try...You're so lucky bitchitude isn't fatal, McGill. Because that would kill you faster than an Oreo McFlurry. Also Kristy ends up wearing a-white turtleneck with little red and blue hearts all over it. 1) Why the Hell would Kristy have something with hearts all over it? I'm not buying that for a second. 2) I had the same thing without the blue hearts when I was five. You're dressed like a kindergartner, Kristy. But when I wore it I was cooler because I also had devil horns and a pitchfork.
And what does Mary Anne wear? A ruffly white blouse, a long paisley skirt, and these little brown boots. She chose to wear that over a colourful sweater and black pants. And honestly, I'm with Mary Anne here. I'd rather dress Bohemian than like Bill Cosby. Unless it would somehow bring back pudding pops. Stacey snots that MA looks like she came from Connecticut. Because all people from the suburbs dress like flower children while people from NYC dress like extras on The Fifth Element. Leeloo Dallas multi-pass. And what about the fact that you see 'everything' in NYC? Again is this:
Less normal than this:
Laine comes over and Stacey fangirls and says Laine looks at least 19. WTF? No she does not! Stop your damn lying! Stacey, I will personally give you my pancreas if she looks anything over 15. Does Ann not know how aging works? Because if you look 19 at 13, you should really have that checked. Also remember when you wanted to look older? Rather than crying every time you spot a white hair? Just me? Okay. Sorry guys, turns out I am a grampa's guitar. Stacey introduces everyone and Claudia and Laine immediately remind each other of fights they had with Stacey. Laine also calls the BSC a 'little club' and okay Laine, high five. I'd like to know how Kristy didn't rush over and break Laine's nose for that. Stacey bemoans that this party is gonna be mad awful
Chapter 7!
Dawn writes to her mom and mentions that Stacey's building has doormen to 'keep the murderers away'. Now isn't that a nice soothing thought to send your mother? Aw, who are we kidding? We all know Sharon is too busy getting high with Richard to care what's going on with Dawn. Also, if I had a chance to murder Dawn, no doorman would keep me from it. Stacey says the party sucked and that the BSC is annoying her. She says MA is- pretending to be an expert on New York, trying to impress everyone and be all adult and sophisticated. You mean acting exactly like you do every time you open your filthy mouth? The only difference is that you think you have a right to act that way because of where you were born. Seriously Stacey, FUCK YOU.
Okay. WTF. Stacey says she invited twenty people to the party. Twenty. Do any of you spot a problem here? What kind of human Tetris do you have to play to get twenty-six people into a New York apartment living room? I live in a house and you can't fit twenty-six people in our living room. Now the only NYC apartments I can think of are the ones in Cloverfield. So either the McGills are way more loaded than they seem or Ann sucks noodles at thinking in three dimensions. Also I would pay good money (well, art and snark commissions) for someone to write a BSC/Cloverfield crossover fic. Think about it. They can either get eaten or blown up by a parasite bite. Sorry, I love that dumb movie.
Stacey shows what a nice person and all around good friend she is by saying she invited boys so her BSC friends wouldn't feel like-unattached hicks from Connecticut or something. Aww, aint that sweet! I know I always think of my friends in snotty, derogatory terms. Oh, wait. No I don't because I'm not a colossal piece of caribou shit. You know if you think things about your friend that you wouldn't say to their face because it would hurt their feelings? You are scum. You're a low-down, snotty, piece of shit, scum and don't deserve to have any friends. Not even crappy ones like the BSC. All you deserve is to be shot into the sun.
The party 'limps' along with Kristy being the only one having fun. She's talking sports with some boy while MA does her guidebook thing, Dawn talks about how dangerous everything is and Claudia...it doesn't say what she's doing. Then MA starts talking about Dawn being scared of everything and God, Ann! What is with making characters acting completely out of character for the sake of drama? And of course Dawn overhears. Oh, here's what Claudia was doing, butting in with Kristy and that guy dancing just a s a slow song came on. The party comes to an end.
Chapter 8!
Kristy writes a letter full of lies to her family. Why? Not only are they stupid and obvious lies but why write at all? They're gone on a three day weekend. There's no point to this except to put a letter at the start of each chapter. Laine asks if she's still invited to spend the night and everyone except Claudia want her there. Laine asks her what she ever did and Claudia pulls the old 'You did something but I'm not telling!' Surely such a mature girl should be taking kids around a huge, crowded, dangerous city! Kristy says that Claudia is a jerk for stealing random sports guy during their dance. Then Dawn says MA is a jerk for telling people that she's been shitting herself since she got there. MA starts crying and I dunno. I never saw it as manipulative. Mainly because I cry when I get worked up. And I hate it. Laine decides that hanging around would totally suck so she doesn't stay the night. Stacey reminds everyone that they have a big job the next day and makes them call a truce.
Chapter 9!
Stacey wakes up and tries to think about the problems they're all having. She thinks about how traveling sucks and how the BSC wants to impress her NYC friends. Because everyone wants to be on the good side of trendy native New Yorkers, right? And does Stacey feel any sympathy for her friends? Oh, hoho! Methinks you don't know Stacey that well! Sympathy is for suckers from the country! She's just happy she doesn't have any problems and her friends can suck it.
The kids start arriving and one of them, Leslie (the one compared to Jenny) reminds them of her wheat allergy and the BSC refrains from rolling their eyes. Because a little kid worrying about getting violently sick is so annoying, amirite? God, the BSC sucks. More kids arrive and I can't be fucked to care. Also the non NYC BSC members look scared of watching these kids. Yeah, they're not mature enough to sit.
Chapter 10!
As Stacey is getting things in order, she notes that Kristy isn't happy about taking orders...
I'm sorry, I can't articulate how much I hate Kristy. All I can say is that I'll be happy when she ends up getting fired from every job she lands because she can't listen to others. Then she'll end up homeless and Stacey will hold meetings on how to change her into a mailbox. There's really not much to recap. They go to the Natural History museum and lose a kid. Museums are great but they're not fun to read about unless you're going to visit it later.
Part 1!
Chapter 6!
The BSC is getting ready for their party and Stacey says Laine is coming over early to help. Stacey wrongly thinks Claud and Laine will get along even though they have nothing in common because they're both friends with her. Right, because being petty and jealous isn't a huge part of adolescence at all. She also says Claudia is smart but I beg to differ. MA says everyone has to get dressed in what Stacey says and Stacey is like no you don't. So, after whining about how they don't fit in, Stacey refuses to help them when they try...You're so lucky bitchitude isn't fatal, McGill. Because that would kill you faster than an Oreo McFlurry. Also Kristy ends up wearing a-white turtleneck with little red and blue hearts all over it. 1) Why the Hell would Kristy have something with hearts all over it? I'm not buying that for a second. 2) I had the same thing without the blue hearts when I was five. You're dressed like a kindergartner, Kristy. But when I wore it I was cooler because I also had devil horns and a pitchfork.
And what does Mary Anne wear? A ruffly white blouse, a long paisley skirt, and these little brown boots. She chose to wear that over a colourful sweater and black pants. And honestly, I'm with Mary Anne here. I'd rather dress Bohemian than like Bill Cosby. Unless it would somehow bring back pudding pops. Stacey snots that MA looks like she came from Connecticut. Because all people from the suburbs dress like flower children while people from NYC dress like extras on The Fifth Element. Leeloo Dallas multi-pass. And what about the fact that you see 'everything' in NYC? Again is this:
Less normal than this:
Laine comes over and Stacey fangirls and says Laine looks at least 19. WTF? No she does not! Stop your damn lying! Stacey, I will personally give you my pancreas if she looks anything over 15. Does Ann not know how aging works? Because if you look 19 at 13, you should really have that checked. Also remember when you wanted to look older? Rather than crying every time you spot a white hair? Just me? Okay. Sorry guys, turns out I am a grampa's guitar. Stacey introduces everyone and Claudia and Laine immediately remind each other of fights they had with Stacey. Laine also calls the BSC a 'little club' and okay Laine, high five. I'd like to know how Kristy didn't rush over and break Laine's nose for that. Stacey bemoans that this party is gonna be mad awful
Chapter 7!
Dawn writes to her mom and mentions that Stacey's building has doormen to 'keep the murderers away'. Now isn't that a nice soothing thought to send your mother? Aw, who are we kidding? We all know Sharon is too busy getting high with Richard to care what's going on with Dawn. Also, if I had a chance to murder Dawn, no doorman would keep me from it. Stacey says the party sucked and that the BSC is annoying her. She says MA is- pretending to be an expert on New York, trying to impress everyone and be all adult and sophisticated. You mean acting exactly like you do every time you open your filthy mouth? The only difference is that you think you have a right to act that way because of where you were born. Seriously Stacey, FUCK YOU.
Okay. WTF. Stacey says she invited twenty people to the party. Twenty. Do any of you spot a problem here? What kind of human Tetris do you have to play to get twenty-six people into a New York apartment living room? I live in a house and you can't fit twenty-six people in our living room. Now the only NYC apartments I can think of are the ones in Cloverfield. So either the McGills are way more loaded than they seem or Ann sucks noodles at thinking in three dimensions. Also I would pay good money (well, art and snark commissions) for someone to write a BSC/Cloverfield crossover fic. Think about it. They can either get eaten or blown up by a parasite bite. Sorry, I love that dumb movie.
Stacey shows what a nice person and all around good friend she is by saying she invited boys so her BSC friends wouldn't feel like-unattached hicks from Connecticut or something. Aww, aint that sweet! I know I always think of my friends in snotty, derogatory terms. Oh, wait. No I don't because I'm not a colossal piece of caribou shit. You know if you think things about your friend that you wouldn't say to their face because it would hurt their feelings? You are scum. You're a low-down, snotty, piece of shit, scum and don't deserve to have any friends. Not even crappy ones like the BSC. All you deserve is to be shot into the sun.
The party 'limps' along with Kristy being the only one having fun. She's talking sports with some boy while MA does her guidebook thing, Dawn talks about how dangerous everything is and Claudia...it doesn't say what she's doing. Then MA starts talking about Dawn being scared of everything and God, Ann! What is with making characters acting completely out of character for the sake of drama? And of course Dawn overhears. Oh, here's what Claudia was doing, butting in with Kristy and that guy dancing just a s a slow song came on. The party comes to an end.
Chapter 8!
Kristy writes a letter full of lies to her family. Why? Not only are they stupid and obvious lies but why write at all? They're gone on a three day weekend. There's no point to this except to put a letter at the start of each chapter. Laine asks if she's still invited to spend the night and everyone except Claudia want her there. Laine asks her what she ever did and Claudia pulls the old 'You did something but I'm not telling!' Surely such a mature girl should be taking kids around a huge, crowded, dangerous city! Kristy says that Claudia is a jerk for stealing random sports guy during their dance. Then Dawn says MA is a jerk for telling people that she's been shitting herself since she got there. MA starts crying and I dunno. I never saw it as manipulative. Mainly because I cry when I get worked up. And I hate it. Laine decides that hanging around would totally suck so she doesn't stay the night. Stacey reminds everyone that they have a big job the next day and makes them call a truce.
Chapter 9!
Stacey wakes up and tries to think about the problems they're all having. She thinks about how traveling sucks and how the BSC wants to impress her NYC friends. Because everyone wants to be on the good side of trendy native New Yorkers, right? And does Stacey feel any sympathy for her friends? Oh, hoho! Methinks you don't know Stacey that well! Sympathy is for suckers from the country! She's just happy she doesn't have any problems and her friends can suck it.
The kids start arriving and one of them, Leslie (the one compared to Jenny) reminds them of her wheat allergy and the BSC refrains from rolling their eyes. Because a little kid worrying about getting violently sick is so annoying, amirite? God, the BSC sucks. More kids arrive and I can't be fucked to care. Also the non NYC BSC members look scared of watching these kids. Yeah, they're not mature enough to sit.
Chapter 10!
As Stacey is getting things in order, she notes that Kristy isn't happy about taking orders...
I'm sorry, I can't articulate how much I hate Kristy. All I can say is that I'll be happy when she ends up getting fired from every job she lands because she can't listen to others. Then she'll end up homeless and Stacey will hold meetings on how to change her into a mailbox. There's really not much to recap. They go to the Natural History museum and lose a kid. Museums are great but they're not fun to read about unless you're going to visit it later.