#20 - Kristy and the Walking Disaster Part 3
Part One.
Part Two.
The thing that's beginning to strike me about this book, in contrast to many (especially later) books I've read, is that there's no B-plot. It's all Kristy's Krushers, all the time. That's not so bad, but my eyes are starting to glaze over from all the blah blah kids blah blah baseball blah blah two year olds playing baseball. I want more delicious Bart Taylor action.
Chapter Seven
It's another sitting chapter, this one featuring Mallory and Claudia Pikesitting, and Jessi coming over with the Braddock kids, in a continuation on this theme of "we can't possibly sit for only ONE family at a time". I actually love Pikesitting chapters, not gonna lie - probably because of the leftover memories of seven year old me having fantasies about growing old with Nicky Pike and hiding in secret passages on other people's property together. There's a brief recap of Jessi's Secret Language, complete with "everyone knows sign language now".
I can actually forgive it more from the Pike kids, especially those closest to Matt, more than I can of, say, Jessi. They probably see Matt more often and therefore have more motivation to practice and learn. Plus, I've always heard it's easier the younger you are. The triplets and their immature 10 year old brains can't mop up their own milk, but they can sign like badasses.
A ball game breaks out between the Little Leaguers (Adam, Byron and Jordan) and the Krushers (Matt, Nicky, Margo and Claire). Look, I know that I'm harsh, but when I see rivalry brewing between teams, I want to see a gang fight. At least a gang dance-off. Sure, the triplets were doing backyard acrobatics, and so therefore probably have the mad skills, but Claire and Margo can probably hold up, and I just know that Nicky and Matt have more skills than they're letting on.
For all of Matt and Nicky's bravado at the beginning of the game, they lose 16 - 5, and while I'm impressed that the Krusher foursome managed five runs, Claire has a "baseball tantrum". The kind that's represented by, "It sounded more like she was saying "Nofe-air!"."
I've tried saying that out loud, and I cannot hear the difference between a kid yelling "no fair!" and a kid yelling "Nofe air!". Now, if I was her sitter, I'd be more worried about her tantrum than where she puts her "f", but, eh. Should have stuck with the dance-off.
Kristy also reflects that "aside from Claire's tantrum", they had spirit and patience. That is legitimately awesome. What bothers me is that she adds, "They did lose their concentration a few times, but what can you expect from 5.8 year old kids?"
Kristy, the Krushers in attendance were Matt, Nicky, Margo and Claire. The average age of those four is well above 5.8, on account of none of them being 2.
Chapter Eight
There's trouble in paradise as Kristy realizes that a team of kids with an average age of 5.8 are little shits get distracted easily. Claire's climbing a tree, and Jamie's walking on the bats, and Kristy is despairing because "I thought these kids wanted to play ball so badly!".
They probably did... last week. Now they're over it. They've moved on. They're kids. Mostly very young kids. Some of them, like Matt, Nicky, David Michael and Jackie would probably stick with it, but the younger ones are bored and want something new. But that's okay, because once you cull the ones who are really flighty and disinterested, you'll have a reasonably-sized team... right?
Oh, wait, this is Stoneybrook. So Kristy just drops the word "Krusher", and they all come running. Before, I was thinking BSCult-style Flavor-Aid, but now I'm definitely thinking hypnotism.
Kristy sets them all to drills, and tries to sign an instruction to Matt, but he just looks at her blankly. "I'd probably just told him to go price an elephant or something. I wished Haley or Mrs. Braddock or Jessi were there to help."
I'm... honestly quite surprised that Mr. or Mrs. Braddock wouldn't be present. What about other parents? Are they present in the event that something goes wrong? This is 20 kids, some as young as 2.5, with heavy bats and thrown balls, in the care of Kristy and Claudia. That's... a recipe for disaster, right there.
There's finally a reference to a kid not knowing sign language. Apparently Kristy has been drilling them on baseball-relevant sign language so they can communicate with Matt on the field, but David Michael keeps forgetting the signs, and just signs "safe", even when he means "foul ball".
Jackie then cops a ball to the face, which just makes me feel sorry for him. Sure, Kristy blames him for not wearing the catcher mask, or not catching it, like he should have, but
1. Why hadn't Kristy (or someone) noticed that he wasn't wearing it?
2. A ball to the face hurts, and while he wouldn't have knocked out a tooth with the mask on, it still probably wouldn't have tickled.
3. Shut up, Kristy. All the others are screwing up, too, and it's not Jackie's fault that the ball came at him, so why blame "the walking disaster" for everything?
That night, Kristy trades David Michael's chore of walking Shannon for DM brushing up on his baseball signs. Of course, Kristy mainly just wants an opportunity to suss out the Bart-man again.
And there he is, walking his own dog, an enormous rottweiler, around the neighbourhood. They chat about their teams, and Bart calls the Krushers "babies" (or, rather, insinuates it), and Kristy bristles, until the streetlights come on and make Bart's hair glow. And then, of course, Bart challenges her to a friendly game, and she can't keep from saying no. Walking home, she feels like there are cotton balls under her feet.
...I think that's a really weird analogy for feeling smitten, but is that just me?
Chapter Nine
There's another Krusher practice, and this time there's some adult supervision in case things go pear-shaped, in the form of Watson. Well. Ostensibly, he's there to silently watch and burst with pride, but I hope he's also providing a bit of supervision so no one gets hurt, since we've shown that Kristy can't keep enough of an eye out to wonder why the catcher isn't wearing a mask until he gets smacked in the face.
They're all wearing their uniform shirts for the first time, and Karen's says "C-R-U-S-H-E-R-S". Kristy naively wonders if they ran out of "K"s, but Karen primly tells her that she won't stand for incorrect spelling, damnit.
Kristy announces the game against the Bashers, and Max Delaney is terrified, while the other kids (who, to a one, have no idea who the Bashers are), are excited. I'm thinking Max has the right idea, but what do I know? I don't have trademarked great ideas. Speaking of which, Kristy has one - cheerleaders!
I grant you, giving Haley something to do instead of just boredly sitting around translating for Matt is great, but Kristy glows with pride like she thinks this gives her an edge over the Bashers, and that I just can't understand at all. Besides, I thought that being a cheerleader was basically the first step into a life of drinking, debauchery, and failing to attend meetings at precisely 5:30pm?
For all their excitement, several of the kids are still stuffing around, in the form of Suzy doing somersaults (preparing for the inevitable gang dance-off, I assume), and Linny pretending to be a sportscaster. And then, disaster, Jackie hits a ball through the elementary school window.
It's a Saturday, so I don't know why the principal is there to yell at him, but he does, but his heart grows three sizes when he hears that Jackie hit a home run. I'm just impressed that, given the average level of skill the Krushers show, that Jackie is even capable of hitting the ball that hard. Also, please, rub in what a "disaster" Jackie is a bit more. I'm not sure we got it yet, Ann.
Part Two.
The thing that's beginning to strike me about this book, in contrast to many (especially later) books I've read, is that there's no B-plot. It's all Kristy's Krushers, all the time. That's not so bad, but my eyes are starting to glaze over from all the blah blah kids blah blah baseball blah blah two year olds playing baseball. I want more delicious Bart Taylor action.
Chapter Seven
It's another sitting chapter, this one featuring Mallory and Claudia Pikesitting, and Jessi coming over with the Braddock kids, in a continuation on this theme of "we can't possibly sit for only ONE family at a time". I actually love Pikesitting chapters, not gonna lie - probably because of the leftover memories of seven year old me having fantasies about growing old with Nicky Pike and hiding in secret passages on other people's property together. There's a brief recap of Jessi's Secret Language, complete with "everyone knows sign language now".
I can actually forgive it more from the Pike kids, especially those closest to Matt, more than I can of, say, Jessi. They probably see Matt more often and therefore have more motivation to practice and learn. Plus, I've always heard it's easier the younger you are. The triplets and their immature 10 year old brains can't mop up their own milk, but they can sign like badasses.
A ball game breaks out between the Little Leaguers (Adam, Byron and Jordan) and the Krushers (Matt, Nicky, Margo and Claire). Look, I know that I'm harsh, but when I see rivalry brewing between teams, I want to see a gang fight. At least a gang dance-off. Sure, the triplets were doing backyard acrobatics, and so therefore probably have the mad skills, but Claire and Margo can probably hold up, and I just know that Nicky and Matt have more skills than they're letting on.
For all of Matt and Nicky's bravado at the beginning of the game, they lose 16 - 5, and while I'm impressed that the Krusher foursome managed five runs, Claire has a "baseball tantrum". The kind that's represented by, "It sounded more like she was saying "Nofe-air!"."
I've tried saying that out loud, and I cannot hear the difference between a kid yelling "no fair!" and a kid yelling "Nofe air!". Now, if I was her sitter, I'd be more worried about her tantrum than where she puts her "f", but, eh. Should have stuck with the dance-off.
Kristy also reflects that "aside from Claire's tantrum", they had spirit and patience. That is legitimately awesome. What bothers me is that she adds, "They did lose their concentration a few times, but what can you expect from 5.8 year old kids?"
Kristy, the Krushers in attendance were Matt, Nicky, Margo and Claire. The average age of those four is well above 5.8, on account of none of them being 2.
Chapter Eight
There's trouble in paradise as Kristy realizes that a team of kids with an average age of 5.8 are little shits get distracted easily. Claire's climbing a tree, and Jamie's walking on the bats, and Kristy is despairing because "I thought these kids wanted to play ball so badly!".
They probably did... last week. Now they're over it. They've moved on. They're kids. Mostly very young kids. Some of them, like Matt, Nicky, David Michael and Jackie would probably stick with it, but the younger ones are bored and want something new. But that's okay, because once you cull the ones who are really flighty and disinterested, you'll have a reasonably-sized team... right?
Oh, wait, this is Stoneybrook. So Kristy just drops the word "Krusher", and they all come running. Before, I was thinking BSCult-style Flavor-Aid, but now I'm definitely thinking hypnotism.
Kristy sets them all to drills, and tries to sign an instruction to Matt, but he just looks at her blankly. "I'd probably just told him to go price an elephant or something. I wished Haley or Mrs. Braddock or Jessi were there to help."
I'm... honestly quite surprised that Mr. or Mrs. Braddock wouldn't be present. What about other parents? Are they present in the event that something goes wrong? This is 20 kids, some as young as 2.5, with heavy bats and thrown balls, in the care of Kristy and Claudia. That's... a recipe for disaster, right there.
There's finally a reference to a kid not knowing sign language. Apparently Kristy has been drilling them on baseball-relevant sign language so they can communicate with Matt on the field, but David Michael keeps forgetting the signs, and just signs "safe", even when he means "foul ball".
Jackie then cops a ball to the face, which just makes me feel sorry for him. Sure, Kristy blames him for not wearing the catcher mask, or not catching it, like he should have, but
1. Why hadn't Kristy (or someone) noticed that he wasn't wearing it?
2. A ball to the face hurts, and while he wouldn't have knocked out a tooth with the mask on, it still probably wouldn't have tickled.
3. Shut up, Kristy. All the others are screwing up, too, and it's not Jackie's fault that the ball came at him, so why blame "the walking disaster" for everything?
That night, Kristy trades David Michael's chore of walking Shannon for DM brushing up on his baseball signs. Of course, Kristy mainly just wants an opportunity to suss out the Bart-man again.
And there he is, walking his own dog, an enormous rottweiler, around the neighbourhood. They chat about their teams, and Bart calls the Krushers "babies" (or, rather, insinuates it), and Kristy bristles, until the streetlights come on and make Bart's hair glow. And then, of course, Bart challenges her to a friendly game, and she can't keep from saying no. Walking home, she feels like there are cotton balls under her feet.
...I think that's a really weird analogy for feeling smitten, but is that just me?
Chapter Nine
There's another Krusher practice, and this time there's some adult supervision in case things go pear-shaped, in the form of Watson. Well. Ostensibly, he's there to silently watch and burst with pride, but I hope he's also providing a bit of supervision so no one gets hurt, since we've shown that Kristy can't keep enough of an eye out to wonder why the catcher isn't wearing a mask until he gets smacked in the face.
They're all wearing their uniform shirts for the first time, and Karen's says "C-R-U-S-H-E-R-S". Kristy naively wonders if they ran out of "K"s, but Karen primly tells her that she won't stand for incorrect spelling, damnit.
Kristy announces the game against the Bashers, and Max Delaney is terrified, while the other kids (who, to a one, have no idea who the Bashers are), are excited. I'm thinking Max has the right idea, but what do I know? I don't have trademarked great ideas. Speaking of which, Kristy has one - cheerleaders!
I grant you, giving Haley something to do instead of just boredly sitting around translating for Matt is great, but Kristy glows with pride like she thinks this gives her an edge over the Bashers, and that I just can't understand at all. Besides, I thought that being a cheerleader was basically the first step into a life of drinking, debauchery, and failing to attend meetings at precisely 5:30pm?
For all their excitement, several of the kids are still stuffing around, in the form of Suzy doing somersaults (preparing for the inevitable gang dance-off, I assume), and Linny pretending to be a sportscaster. And then, disaster, Jackie hits a ball through the elementary school window.
It's a Saturday, so I don't know why the principal is there to yell at him, but he does, but his heart grows three sizes when he hears that Jackie hit a home run. I'm just impressed that, given the average level of skill the Krushers show, that Jackie is even capable of hitting the ball that hard. Also, please, rub in what a "disaster" Jackie is a bit more. I'm not sure we got it yet, Ann.