The Brain vs The Heart - A Battle Royale
Chapter 21
Reid used his anger to fuel his stride down to the hospital administrative department. He enjoyed yelling at the feeble minded guy behind the desk and berated him when it took more than two minutes to pull up the documents he demanded. Reid was equally unimpressed, not surprisingly, with Luke’s nephrologist’s credentials. He knew he would be. This was completely unacceptable. If he was going to even consider spending the next forty days let alone the next forty odd years with the young Mr. Snyder they would have to find someone far better qualified for Luke’s care. Not that I anticipate spending forty years with anyone….Just ducks in a row and all that….
Armed with the proof he needed, he headed back toward the exam rooms. He was fully prepared to charge back in that room and demand Luke make some changes in his medical care. He briefly wondered if he had time to find a computer to start researching suitable replacements, or if he would have to do that at Luke’s place. He was so distracted or focused, depending on how you looked at it that he walked into the wrong room. He looked up, and not seeing Luke he immediately started to back out again, until his brain registered what he actually walked in on.
“What the hell doogie? Seriously, why is it whenever I’m in this hospital I catch you doing something stupid?”
Chris turned around, looking like a deer in headlights, with a needle stuck in his lower lumbar muscle. He instantly broke out into a sweat.
“What are you shooting yourself up with?”
Chris tried to deflect the fear that was suddenly raging inside of him. “It’s none of your damn business.”
Reid spotted the vial of liquid Chris was administering to himself. He grabbed a hold of it before Chris could and took a look at what was printed on it. “This is a high potency antibiotic.” Reid quickly put the remaining pieces together. “Wait a second, does this mean you actually have viral myocarditis?”
Chris’ fear ratcheted up a notch. “How did you know about that?”
“The people at this hospital are complete morons” Reid answered matter-of-factly. When he could see Chris wanted a better explanation than that he clarified. “The nurse you gave your blood to the last time I was here left it lying around for anyone to see, that’s how.”
“I’m not discussing my health with you.”
Reid closed the door. Doctor mode kicked in, even though he would have preferred to just turn around and walk away. “Symptoms? Shortness of breath, fatigue, rapid heartbeat, chest pains? What did the chest x-ray and EKG show?”
“I told you, it’s none of your damn business.”
“You won’t answer because you haven’t run any diagnostic tests have you?” Reid had seen it a hundred times in patients, but a doctor should know better. “You have no idea if your heart muscle has been compromised do you?” The blank stare on Chris’ face was all the answer he needed. He started shaking his head in disgust. “You’re dragging your feet because you’re in denial about the severity of your condition. But yeah, it’s just your heart, and the damage could be fatal so sure, your way seems fine too.”
“Go away” Chris all but begged.
“You’re insane. You can’t hide this from people. You’re supposed to be chief of staff of this hospital. You should try acting like it.”
“Look, I don’t have a choice.”
“The hell you don’t. Open your mouth and tell the truth.”
Chris shook his head, the desperation of no one finding out written all over his face. “You can’t say anything about this to anyone, do you hear me?”
“Why the hell not? You sure shouldn’t be working.”
“But, I don’t even know that my heart is damaged.”
“That’s why you need an MRI and a Cardiologist you idiot.”
“I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”
“Why? Just to stay chief of staff and make daddy proud? Do you think he would be proud to trip over you’re limp lifeless body one day instead?”
“You’re exaggerating the problem here.”
Reid had enough. “Do you even read the same medical journals I do?”
“I’m going to take care of this.”
“Because wishing makes it so? I don’t know why I’m bothering. There’s clearly no way of getting through to you. You went to Harvard medical school right? That is what you told me even though I don’t remember you from Adam. But, being there…. that should have made you at least a decent doctor. And….and being a decent doctor, you would never make assumptions about a patient without proper examinations and test.” He looked for some kind of light to go on in Doggie’s dim wit brain, but didn’t see it. “This is ridiculous.” Reid shoved the vial of antibiotic back into Chris’s hand “Good luck with that” he said, pointing at the contents in Chris’ hand and left the room.
Chris staggered back, sitting onto the edge of the examination bed. He could feel his whole world crumbling apart, all because of that damn Reid Oliver. His only hope was that Reid wouldn’t say anything, that he wouldn’t want to get involved. The guy he remembered from medical school believed in only looking out for himself so Chris hoped that was still true. Otherwise, he would have to figure out a way to make sure no one believed a word the doctor said.
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Luke was actually waiting for Reid when he walked out of the exam room Chris was in.
“What happened to you?” Luke asked.
Reid looked back at the door “just got myself caught in some drama with Doogie Hughes. It’s not really important right now. What I want to concentrate on is your kidney.”
“The appointment went fine.”
“That’s not good enough Luke. Look, we still need to talk about what happened last weekend when you were in Dallas. I’m sure you don’t want to do that here, I know I don’t, so let’s get out of this damn place.”
Luke was afraid to ask, even as the words came out of his mouth. “What does one thing have to do with the other?”
“Home Luke….let’s go.”
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Reid spread out the paperwork he had gotten on Wilson while he was at the hospital. Luke was sitting next to him on the couch while Reid was debating the best way to tackle this problem. He wanted to treat Luke like a patient, and this talk as a consultation. He could just give him all the facts. State his case in a calm rational manner. But, Luke wasn’t his patient, he was his boyfriend. Reid knew this was far more personal than it ever would be for a regular patient. He had to open his heart, at least enough to make sure Luke knew what he was going to say came from a place of really caring about him and wanting him to be around for a long time to come.
“I know I’m abrasive and harsh sometimes. It’s just who I am. I’m going to say things that you don’t want to hear and for that I will be sorry, but it won’t keep me from saying them.”
Luke’s expression was guarded as he waited for Reid to elaborate. Reid could tell he wasn’t sure if this talk was going to end well or really really badly. “Ok” Luke finally responded.
“I have panic attacks sometimes.”
“Oh, Reid, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Luke reached over to try and take Reid’s hand but the doctor brushed it away.
“I didn’t tell you that for sympathy. I said it by way of an explanation.”
Luke put his hand back in his lap and the mask of indifference returned to his face. “Ok.”
“I have spent most of my adult life alone. You know this. What you don’t know is since I’ve started whatever this is with you I’ve slowly figured out that I would rather not spend the rest of it that way. Your kidney may prevent me from that.”
Luke’s face scrunched up. “I don’t… I’m sorry Reid but I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I have nightmares that you die and I can’t stop it from happening.”
Luke again reached his hand out to try and hold Reid. This time, Reid stood up and walked away from where they were sitting. Luke got up to follow but decided to give Reid the physical distance he seemed to need.
“It seems like the greater you care about something, the greater chance you have of getting hurt, even losing the very thing that you care about.”
“That’s true” Luke said as he nodded in agreement.
“How do you live with that?”
Luke wasn’t sure he could explain it, but felt like he needed to try for Reid’s sake. I wonder if this will determine whether whatever this is as Reid called it will continue, or end right here. “You’re just grateful that you have that in your life, for as long as you have it, even if it is just a short while.”
“Short while, no….no….no way, I’m not willing to invest so much to get so little in return. I want the whole enchilada, do you hear me?”
Oh my god, does he mean what I hope he means? “Meaning?”
“Meaning, we better take care of that kidney of yours. If I’m going to put myself out there, fall in love with you, I am not going to lose you do you hear me?”
Holy shit he just said the L word! A slow smile started to spread across Luke’s face. When it reached his eyes they literally sparkled. “You planning on falling in love with me?”
Holy shit I just said the L word! “No, of course not, I’m not planning on falling…No, it’s not something you plan on, it just, it happens. You’re powerless to stop it….” How the hell have I gotten so far off track? This talk was supposed to be about Luke’s health, not my feelings. “Oh, gah… listen to me, I’ve never been powerless. I’ve always been in complete control of everything in my life.”
Luke leaned in to him with this dimple in full force and eyelashes batting. He felt so close to falling off the deep end that a light breeze would tip him over. “Awwww, are you ok?”
Reid just barely nodded. “You?”
Luke’s nod back was much larger. They leaned in and started to kiss with a renewed sense of exactly what it meant for them to be together. Luke couldn’t get enough of Reid. Their hands wrapped around each other until they were touching from nose tip to toes. Luke brought his fingers up to entangle themselves in Reid’s curls at the base of his neck. I’m ready. Oh man, I am so beyond ready. I don’t want to wait any longer. Luke leaned his head back a little and looked into Reid’s eyes, saying the ten words the doctor had been waiting to hear. “I think it’s time we take this into the bedroom.”
Let’s split this chapter too, only because it takes the full brain to deal with Doogie…. Brain 8, Heart 12