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[brightspot]

Tonight was an all-school Paragon Night at Lorelei's school...I don't know what Paragon really means, so if you want to figure it out, click that link. Basically, the kids get to show off what they've been learning and have some kind of songs or skits or whatever. It's a great community thing. There's only two a year that include the entire

Comments

[karenkh]

oh my god

you have an amazing daughter, beth...

but of course, she has an amazing mother :)

[brightspot]

Sometimes she takes my breath away....she is stunning. On the inside, where it matters.

Thank you.

[mmmmgreen]

That sounds like a really emotional evening!

Proud of your daughter and yet so sad for her loss...

She sounds like an amazing little girl, but then look at her mom!

needing to wear a black band around her arm with a silver heart pinned to it, to express her grief for her so she didn't have to cry through the her school work and could some how carry on with her days.

I had never looked at that the wearing of black in quite that way. Always as an expression of grief but never as an outward showing so that one could carry on in the midst of the grief... I like that...

[brightspot]

I didn't know what else to do for her...she sobbed more than anyone at the funeral, and she was simply inconsolable. Abby was, really, her best friend.

So I bought her the black ribbon, and I told her as long as she wore it she didn't have to cry, because everyone would already be able to see how sad she was. She could let the ribbon be her tears when she needed to be able to do other things. She asked for the little heart to show how much she loved Abby, and I thought that was great.

She was, really, in mourning. She wore it until the day when she could remember Abby without bursting into tears.

[chelseabun]

That nearly made me cry!

[life_at_drift]

well that's the first time I ever cried in my coffee. =(

I hadn't seen any but the initial post when you first found out. how that woman can even face herself everyday I cannot imagine.

this is a beautiful post.

[brightspot]

It's a weird spot to be in - I'm so awed by my daughter, and her immense love for this little girl, and her grace in handling that. And I'm so sad for Abby's father, who has just lost everything. And I'm so angry at the mother. So, so angry. I guess I need someone to blame. And here's my little five year old, who doesn't blame anyone, or ask for anyone to serve justice - she just wants her friend to have a good life in heaven.

She's such a role model in her innocence, you know?

[cerdewin]

*Huggles, hun!*

It is in my opinion that no parent should have to bury their own child whatever the cause. I couldn't tell from entry if the mother survived, but if she did I'm certain not a day goes by that she doesn't feel that aching loss. So I don't scorn that woman, but pity her instead.

She has created a hole in herself that may never mend and if it does will be a scar she wears on the outside for the rest of her life.

[brightspot]

She lived with no major injuries.

I would love to find something inside of me that could pity her. I know it would be the Christian thing of me to do, and in any other faith just the RIGHT thing for me to do. I've struggled and struggled with this, and I just can't. She had a long criminal history of alcohol related incidents. Her license was suspended multiple times. She'd been in and out of jail, prison, rehab programs. In my mind, she knew exactly what alcohol was capable of. She knew the kind of trouble it got her into. And knowing that, she put her six year old in the front seat of a truck, hotwired it, and took off - drunk, still drinking, talking on the cell phone. I just don't see how much more purposeful it could have been.

I keep asking my greater power to soften my heart - to give me the strength to forgive. It's just not happening. Maybe I'm blocking it. I think I see some quiet reflection time in my future, honestly.

Thank you for the hugs - those are always, always welcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o)

Anger

[tater2003]

You need to find a way to dispell the anger - and then let it go. you don't have to forget, but know that if you don't forgive, it hurts you more than it hurts the other person.

Of course, that's sometimes easier said than done. I still haven't forgiven my step-father for the way he treated my mom, and they've been divorced for 5 years. Some anger takes longer to dispell than others. Just take a hint from your little one, and think of what you want and feel for Abigail and her dad and don't think about the mom.