Eureka! Well that explains why that makes me uncomfortable

[brickhousewench]

Just before bed last night I hopped into rennerobsession and got caught up on the weekend picture posting. And something about the first comment thread on this post hit my squick buttons last night

Comments

[guy_todd]

Having been privy to private conversations of both men and women, I can say unequivocally that women are far more shocking and detailed in their discussions of sex and male naughty bits. Men in general are far more boring and predictable when they talk about women.
Man: "Yah, she's hot. I slept with her once. Hand me another Octoberfest".
Woman: "About 3/4" from the base there's this vein that looks just like a Gothic letter "C", and when I grasp the..." etc. ;-)

[brickhousewench]

Heh, I probably don't have those kinds of conversations with my girlfriends because, deep down, I'm clearly just a big ole prude!

[temperlj]

I have heard men say the rauchiest things but with such admiration that I couldn't help but say "thanks" and laugh about it.

I think it's about intention and when people become microscopic and dehumanizing-then I think *everyone's* squick factor comes out

[brickhousewench]

I have heard men say the rauchiest things but with such admiration that I couldn't help but say "thanks" and laugh about it.

Yeah, sometimes you can tell that they're trying to be nice, but just don't have the words. So they use the only words they know. Which just might happen to be raunchy or sexist. It's the intent behind the words that matter. The same way that words like "bitch" or "queer" can sound completely different depending on who is saying it, and whether the speaker intends the word to be a slur or an expression of their own power and ownership of the word.

Which is exactly what makes me think this is an education thing. The question is, how to turn it into a "teachable moment'?

[malterre]

I think that's a case by case basis-which means endless but not insurmountable.