On fandom, inclusion, and whether we actually want to let everyone into the sandbox

[bree_black]

So I like to readfandomsecrets . Normally I'm content to just observe the wank they spawn and not get involved, but one secret's got me thinking:

Comments

[bree_black]

Adding on here: This idiot I know has taken my statement "Anytime you join a community you take some kind of risk when you go against its norms" and expanded it to apply to arguments like 'Immigrants should assimilate when they move here" and other crap.

I just want to stress that this is not what I mean. Governments are legally bound to protect the human rights and dignity of all citizens from discrimination and hate. But being straight (or thin, or in the military, or scientific, or against fan conventions) is not legally (or otherwise) protected because these people do not need protection, because they are not commonly discriminated against.

Nor does questioning someone's beliefs or simply exposing them to yours count as dangerous. The situation is not analogous; immigrants to a new place, for example, are at risk because they have no safe spaces to go to. Our OP could find them quite easily. Fandom acts as a safe place, and it's essential we keep it that way.

[bree_black]

Hi!

Thanks so much for the comment, and for reassurance on that last point. I can't think of much worse than if I was accidentally arguing for that crap.

(BTW, your life seems cool! :) )

<3

[vengefulspirit]

This was so well written. I'm very impressed. I'm not even going to begin to try to write a comment that could live up to this LoL However, this...

or me, and I expect many others, fandom is all I had for a very long time.

And this...

Us lefty, lesbian, bi, asexual, queer, feminist, pacifist, loud, artistic, creative, fun-loving, fatty stalkers don't have anywhere else to go. You have the rest of the goddamn world, so I'm not exactly falling all over myself to change my community to make you feel welcome.

Were absolutely perfectly points. You were completely right when you said fandom is all some of us have. I've been going through a lot in my life the past year, and I've lost 2 best friends in the past month because they decided to ditch me for no reason, and fandom is really the only thing I've had for the last few months, as sad as that sounds. It's really the only thing I've had to make me happy because there's so much unpleasant stuff going on everywhere else in my life, so yeah.

[bree_black]

I'm so sorry to hear your offline life has been so tough lately. I don't think it's sad that you've found support in fandom; I think that's lovely.

Hugs and love, to you and Liz! :)

[aubade_saudade]

*rightwing? not necessarily a bad thing.
*anti-feminist? i bet you a thousand pesos that she doesn't know the history of feminism, or the different movements within it and she's just saying "i like men, and since i like men and i don't know what being a feminist is, i'm anti-hate-men." ignorance is not bliss, it's actually dreadfully annoying.
*straight? cry me a river about heterophobia. gay people start picketing you and going to your funerals to scream out that you're going to hell, give me a call and i'll cry with you.
*scientists? actually, the scientists? they walk among us.
*a healthy weight? skinny bitch, represent, bb. right here. i actually like girls with juicy bums, but to each their own.
in the military? i'm not even going to go there.

this reminds me of the whole "silencing" kerfuffle...i swear to Chuck, sometimes people say things and i wonder whether they realize what they're actually saying. it's sad.

[write_light]

not entirely sure the OP meant those as contrastive, since they aren't, essentially... but people who go out of their way to say they are "anti-feminist" usually aren't worth the conversation time.

[bree_black]

She later amended to say she meant "non-feminist" but considering she called everyone fat, I think there's something anti-feminist going on there anyway. ;) And yeah, you're right that she probably wouldn't change her mind if she read this, but it was interesting to think about for me.

I'm not sure what you mean by contrastive. I think but declaring what she is and what she isn't, then saying she doesn't fit into fandom, she was drawing a contrast between herself and everyone else in fandom (not like her, so she doesn't fit in).

[write_light]

Yeah, I can see that second point, that she doesn't like fandom folk, but you know what? that's not the point, honestly, to be liking everyone. To then to make social/political/military/sexuality linkages out of it instead of just saying "I don't like a lot of the people I meet online" - is immature. Hell, *I* don't like a lot of the people I meet online - that's why I have a tiny friends list. Stop taking things so personally and making the world revolve around you, OP. Yeesh, if I had a dime for every time that needed saying...

[keepingsecrets]

i kind of want to marry this post

[bree_black]

This post isn't sure it's into the whole marriage thing, but would definitely considering dating. ;)

Thanks!