What Makes You Think I’m Enjoying Being Led to the Flood? [5/12]
Title: What Makes You Think I’m Enjoying Being Led to the Flood?
Author: xxjulzcxx/braving_it
Pairing: Erik/Charles
Rating: R
Warnings: Character death, violence, mentions of child abuse and self harm/suicide.
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t sue. Title and chapter headings belong to ‘The National’.
Summary: Modern day, human AU. Sebastian Shaw has devoted his life to creating the ideal monster, hidden within the mind, trying desperately to claw its way out. Erik Lehnsherr seems the perfect candidate and excels beyond Shaw’s expectations. Everything was going extraordinarily well, until the unexpected arrival of Charles Xavier.
Author’s Note: Ugh, I know this is a week late but I haven’t had a minute to myself and couldn’t find time to write. What I have learned during these past couple of weeks though is never, ever try to fit 70 Italians into an average size house. Five days of constant family time is lovely but stressful. Unless something comes up I will try my hardest and continue to update every week from now on.
Chapter Five: You Were a Kindness When I was a Stranger
The constant beep of the heart monitor thrummed through Charles’ head, lulling him almost to sleep. Erik lay in the stark white hospital bed, his face a mess of black and blue, stitches marring his right cheek. He had four broken ribs and a fractured cheek bone, along with a concussion and some internal bleeding. His surgery had taken some time and Charles had found that he didn’t have the power to leave the hospital when Erik’s life had teetered in the balance. He also didn’t want to face Raven, who was still at their apartment. She had screamed herself hoarse, opposing the move to dial 911 and save Erik, who had died in their doorway. Charles had ignored her and made the call himself. He had been slightly hysterical and the operator had asked him to calm down. Alex had taken the call from then on in as Charles furiously pumped his hands on Erik’s chest, trying to revive his heart. He had been successful and Erik had survived the wait for the ambulance. Raven had refused to budge from her spot in the kitchen, her face screwed up in contempt as Erik was lifted into a stretcher and carried out of the room.
The doctors had stated that the surgery went fine and that Erik was in the clear. He had extensive injuries but they were easily fixed. They had mentioned that Erik’s body seemed to have been subjected to prior severe wounds, reminiscent of abuse but they weren’t sure if Erik had a past career where he was injured regularly or if he had been a child of domestic violence. The police had come and gone, promising to find some sort of background on Erik and Charles had felt particularly uncomfortable when he told the police he did not know Erik’s surname. Charles had come to the sharp realisation that he knew nothing about Erik and the one thing he did know was that he was violent. He stayed seated though, his backside aching from the hard chair. The nurse that checked in on Erik stared at Charles’ neck through narrowed eyes but did not mention it and for that Charles was grateful.
The fact that Erik had found his way back to the apartment was a mystery to Charles. He was sure that Erik would not have been able to remember their trip back from the Hellfire club. The only possible reason was that when Erik left the day before he had actively remembered where Charles lived, in order to somehow find his way back one day. Charles smiled sadly, wishing that Erik’s visit had been in different circumstances. He knew that Raven would be furious with him but he had forgiven Erik for his actions, unable to correlate the violence to the defeated man in front of him.
The heart monitor began to beep faster as Erik began to stir. A groan of pain escaped through his lips as his eyes flickered open. Charles placed his hand gingerly on Erik’s arm, not wanting to startle the man. Erik took a deep breath in and hissed, his chest stuttering as his broken ribs throbbed. He blinked rapidly and stared at Charles from his place on his pillow. He was propped up just enough to see Charles clearly without having to move.
“Hey there,” said Charles softly. “Welcome back.”
“Am I in a hospital?” asked Erik thickly, his swollen face making it difficult for him to speak.
Charles sighed. “Yes, I had to call an ambulance. I couldn’t let you die.” He surprised himself with how much he meant that, not knowing how he would feel if Erik hadn’t survived. He didn’t want to think about it.
“I don’t need your pity,” said Erik weakly. Charles was sure he meant to say it with venom but could not find the strength.
“It’s not pity my friend,” said Charles as he tightened his grip on Erik’s arm. “It’s called concern and it’s a very different premise.”
Through his inflamed eyes Erik was staring at Charles fiercely, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he breathed through the ache of his injuries. If Erik didn’t believe that Charles genuinely cared about his wellbeing he didn’t mention it. Charles knew that a nurse should probably be checking in on Erik and the button was on the bedside table waiting to be pressed but Charles wanted more time with Erik alone.
His selfishness was punished as a nurse walked into the room on her own accord and her usual blasé appearance was suddenly animated when she saw that Erik had woken up. She gestured to someone on the other side of the doorway and then began fiddling with his charts. The doctor walked in and began asking question, waiting patiently for Erik to answer. Charles’ hand was a constant presence on Erik’s arm. Erik would be in hospital for at least another week; his stitches were holding nicely and there weren’t any signs of further complications.
“Of course, you need to make sure that you have someone looking after you when we discharge you,” said the doctor. “And you have to rest for a good month while your body recuperates.”
Erik cringed slightly at the mention of being cared for but nodded nonetheless. The doctor finished up and left the room, leaving the nurse to scribbling something in her chart. Just as she went to leave she paused in the doorway, turning towards Erik with a curious expression.
“Erik, what is your surname?” she asked and Charles perked up, waiting to see if Erik would answer. Erik’s eyes widened at the inquiry and his heart rate began to speed up. The nurse didn’t seem to notice as she waited for a reply but Charles could feel Erik’s arm tense under his fingers.
“Logan,” Erik finally managed. “Erik Logan.” The nurse smiled and thanked him before walking out of the room. Charles was frowning, having seen right through the blatant lie.
“Logan?” said Charles and Erik looked at him sheepishly. “I hope you don’t think that I am as daft as that nurse because it is abundantly clear that you just lied through your teeth.”
“I’m sorry Charles but no one can know who I really am. It’s better this way.” Erik sighed and shifted slightly, trying to make himself comfortable. The bed looked less than appealing to Charles.
“Erik, what do you think I’m going to do with the knowledge of your real name?” asked Charles, exasperated. “Please, you owe me this at least.”
Erik looked like he was fighting with himself and frowned, flinching when the facial movement disturbed his bruises and stitches. He opened his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words to say to Charles, who was now rubbing soothing circles with his thumb into Erik’s arm. It seemed that comforting Erik came naturally to Charles.
“Lehnsherr,” said Erik after a few minutes of internal debating. “Erik Lehnsherr. But please keep it to yourself.”
“Of course,” promised Charles. “I won’t tell a soul.” A huge part of Charles was celebrating with the new piece of information. It was like receiving a puzzle piece, though most of the other pieces were missing.
“I don’t know what I was thinking, knocking at your door,” confessed Erik. “You had every right to let me die out in the streets after what I did to you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Charles firmly. “I told you, I couldn’t let you die. You gave me a right scare though. I thought I had lost you.”
Erik shook his head in disbelief. “Any other person would have let me die. You’re far too good to be true. I’ve never met anyone like you.” Erik gave Charles a small smile, before his face fell slack again. Charles smiled at Erik and laughed softly, not sure how to take the compliment.
“If you were so certain that I would kick you out then why did you come back?” asked Charles. He was glad that Erik had chosen to return, even if it had been in such chaotic circumstances.
“All I could think of was redeeming myself to you,” said Erik softly. He swallowed forcefully before continuing. “I knew I was going to die and all I wanted to do was let you know how sorry I was. I barely got out alive.” The last part was added as an afterthought and as soon as he said it Erik went rigid. Charles somehow knew that Erik had slipped up and said something he shouldn’t have.
“My friend, you have truly found redemption,” said Charles, choosing to ignore Erik’s last statement for his sake. Erik sighed and closed his eyes, his face relaxing.
“Though I can’t say the same for Raven,” added Charles and a laughed rumbled through Erik’s chest as he opened his eyes. Charles laughed with him but at the back of his mind he knew that he was about to test his relationship with Raven more than ever. Erik was coming home with him, whether she liked it or not.
**
“No Charles!” shouted Raven. She had been cooking dinner when he had arrived home from the hospital, evening hours over. Raven had a large knife in her hands and a half cut carrot on the chopping board. If Charles didn’t play his cards right then he was going to end up with the carrot.
“Please Raven, just hear me out,” begged Charles but Raven wouldn’t hear a bar of it.
“No, over my dead body. He tried to kill you and now you want him to live with us? Are you crazy?” Raven was waving the knife around and Charles kept his distance, eyeing the blade warily.
“Raven, I don’t want to send him back to wherever he lives. I think that’s where he’s being hurt.” Charles was desperate for Raven to understand. “He honestly didn’t mean to harm me, I know that. If you would just talk to him then you would see-”
“I do not want to be anywhere near him,’ interrupted Raven forcefully as she pointed the knife at Charles to emphasise her point. “He is a psychopath. God knows what he’s done and what other atrocities he is capable of.”
“Please Raven,” said Charles as he stepped closer. “Just give him a chance to prove himself. I refuse to just abandon him.”
“You aren’t abandoning him Charles!” cried Raven. She dropped the knife onto the kitchen bench with a loud clang. “He’s not your responsibility. He is an adult who can take care of himself.”
Charles pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed through his teeth heavily. “You don’t understand Raven. He needs me.”
“What do you see in him Charles?” hissed Raven. She stepped away from the bench and walked up to him, stopping a few feet away. “Why do you think he deserves anything from you?”
Charles opened his mouth with the intention of answering the question without hesitation but realised that he was a loss for words. He really didn’t know what it was about Erik that he was so drawn to. Raven was right, Erik was an adult who had his life in his own hands but Charles ached to have Erik in arms reach. He needed the reassurance that he was all right though he could not find a logical reason for why he felt that way.
“You can’t answer that, can you?” pointed out Raven and Charles shook his head, not quite meeting her eyes.
“Just think about it Raven,” said Charles, trying one more time. “Promise me you’ll think about it.”
Raven frowned, her eyes glassy and Charles didn’t know if it was with fury or tears. She clenched her jaw and shook her head firmly. She walked over to the front door and grabbed her coat off the hook and draped it over her arm, not bothering to put it on.
“If you go through with this Charles, don’t expect me back anytime soon,” said Raven as she opened the front door. Charles began to step towards her with the intention to stop her from leaving. Raven held out her hand and he stopped walking, frozen in place by her steely gaze.
“I’ll be at Moira’s if you need me.”
“Raven, please we can work this out,” said Charles weakly. “Don’t go.”
“I can’t stay here if you bring Erik into our home, I just can’t,” said Raven.
She sighed and closed the door behind her. Charles waited for it to slam but it shut with a soft click. He knew Raven was livid with him but she also never had the ability to be fully furious. Her anger usually simmered down when she realised that there was no way out of the fight and that there was something seriously wrong.
Charles sat down heavily on one of the chairs, now faced with the predicament of convincing Erik to come home with him and making Raven see that Erik could be trusted. He buried his head in his hands and stifled a scream of frustration.
**
Raven hated being angry with Charles but was absolutely against the idea of allowing Erik to stay at their apartment. She could not understand how Charles could have simply forgiven him so easily after he almost died at the man’s hands. She felt sick when she remembered watching Charles struggle so helplessly against a raging Erik, trying uselessly to pry the fingers off his neck. It had taken all her might not to kill Erik, though she knew she wouldn’t have succeeded. He was obviously extremely strong and unpredictable.
Raven stopped walking, realising that she had been meandering for at least fifteen minutes with no idea where she was headed. She sighed when she saw that she had actually set off in the opposite direction of Moira’s house and turned on her heel. She let out a small sound of surprise when she turned to face a worried looking Angel. Raven went to smile when she saw that Angel’s lip was split and that there were dark circles under her eyes.
“Oh my god, what happened to you?” Raven decided to skip over the reintroductions, knowing the Angel must remember her from the other night, no matter how much she had to drink.
Angel seemed to have the same idea but brushed off Raven’s concern. “Oh nothing, I’m fine. I’m just incredibly clumsy and the stair banister got in my way.”
Raven didn’t entirely believe Angel’s explanation but decided to let the subject go. If Angel was going to lie to her then it was obvious she didn’t want to talk about what was going on in her life. Besides, Raven had only spent one night with Angel and that hardly constituted her for a detailed lowdown on Angel’s life. Raven didn’t even know if it was wise to bring up the subject of Angel disappearing at the Hellfire Club. She had seen Angel leave the club in a hurry even though she had been focused on Erik. The knowledge that she had been so enthralled with Erik, or rather his looks, made her uneasy. Had she had known what he was like then she would have never given him a seconds thought.
“What are you doing in these parts?” asked Raven as she gestured for Angel to walk with her. Angel complied and strode beside Raven, who was now on the correct trajectory to Moira’s house.
“I live around here,” supplied Angel, rather quickly. Her abrupt answer made Raven absolutely sure that Angel didn’t want to the centre of the conversation.
A white van drove slowly past the pair and Angel eyed it cautiously. Raven glanced at it and noticed that the driver was staring right at Angel, his eyebrows raised and his finger waving as though he was impatient with her. Angel snorted when she saw the driver and flipped him off, before waving her hand, motioning to him to keep driving. He pursed his lips but sped up and eventually turned left and out of sight.
“Friend of yours?” questioned Raven, though she knew that Angel would probably only give her a one worded answer.
“Yeah,” came Angel’s reply and Raven had to keep her face neutral, not quite knowing how to take her evasiveness. Raven glanced sideways at Angel as the other girl watched the corner that the van had turned into. Raven couldn’t shake off the feeling that Angel was waiting for something to happen.
“What are you doing?” asked Angel suddenly, changing the subject and focusing the attention on Raven. “You look tired.”
“I’m just frustrated,” said Raven as she kicked a stone with her foot and watched it skip over the pavement. Moira’s house was still around an hour away and Raven needed to wait for Charles to leave their apartment before she returned for some clothes and essentials. She really didn’t have the patience to face him.
“Has something happened?” inquired Angel and Raven knew she probably should keep the situation to herself but she felt that she needed a second opinion regarding her reaction. She wanted a fresh mind to perceive the issue in a different light to her or Charles and even their friends, who were all biased.
“Remember the man who was beaten up at the Hellfire Club on Saturday night?”
Raven studied Angel’s face for her reaction, knowing that she would remember the fight and the fact that she fled the scene, almost as if she had been the one in trouble. Angel’s eyes widened for a split second before her face went back to normal, though her jaw was clenched slightly. Raven could see her chest moving rapidly as Angel’s breathing sped up.
“Yeah, I remember,” said Angel nonchalantly though her voice was strained.
“Well we took him home to take care of him,” continued Raven, ignoring Angel’s strange response. “Or rather, Charles took care of him and became quite fond of the man. Erik, that’s what his name was.”
Raven glanced at Angel, who had her hand in her pocket and was fiddling around with whatever was in there. Raven guessed it was her phone but she couldn’t be sure. In any case, Angel seemed extraordinarily distracted, her breathing still laboured.
“It’s quite risky taking a stranger home,” pointed out Angel as she took her hand out of her pocket. She seemed to have settled her mind down.
Raven scoffed and nodded in agreement. “I know and I still can’t believe I let him into our apartment. He tried to strangle Charles, almost killed him.”
Angel stopped walking abruptly and stared at Raven in disbelief as Raven halted in front of her. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” cried out Angel.
Raven threw her arms into the air in irritation and shook her head. “I wish I was but Charles has the bruises to prove it. And the worse thing is, Erik is in hospital now, in pretty bad shape and Charles wants to bring him home and look after him, after what he did to him. I can’t go back if Erik is there, I just can’t.”
“I completely understand,” said Angel sincerely. “You have every right to stay away but also every right to not let him in. It’s your apartment too.”
Raven bit her lip sheepishly and shuffled her feet. “Actually, it’s not my apartment. Charles bought it years ago and let me live with him. He’s been nothing but good to me but there are some things I can’t handle and this is one of them.”
“What if he hurts Charles again?” wondered Angel and Raven couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of that situation beforehand.
“Oh my god, I didn’t think of that. I can’t just leave Charles to fend for himself. He’s never really been good at self-defence.” Raven began to fret, gnawing at her lip and wringing her hands.
“Settle down Raven, I’m sure he’ll be fine,” said Angel soothingly. She patted Raven on the arm awkwardly as the white van from before rounded the corner nearest to them and passed by for a second time. They pulled up on the other side of the street and an arm waved out the window, indicating for Angel to join them.
Angel smiled softly at Raven. “Sweetie, I have to go. Good luck with Charles. I hope it all works out for you.” Though Angel sounded earnest there was an edge to her voice that Raven heard and couldn’t particularly decipher. Something she had said during their conversation had worked its way into Angel’s demeanour and it was showing with her every movement.
The sun was beginning to set on the horizon and Raven still had to walk all the way to Moira’s house. She exchanged numbers with Angel and told her that anytime she needed to talk, she was one phone call away. Raven felt uneasy about Angel’s so called friends and didn’t want to leave the other girl to an unknown fate that may or may not be responsible for her split lip. In a way she knew that the situation between her and Angel was extremely similar to that of Charles and Erik but at least Angel had not tried to kill her and if she did Raven would definitely not let her back into her life the way that Charles was doing.
She set off towards Moira’s with a heavy heart and a whirling mind that couldn’t stop going through the events of the past week. If only she hadn’t been so keen to go out on Saturday night then they would have never met Erik and Charles wouldn’t be in danger. Hindsight was a bitch.
**
“Emma, we need to talk.”
Angel was standing in the doorway of Emma’s office, watching as the older female finished writing something on a piece of paper and neatly placed it on a pile of others. Emma peered at Angel with a raised eyebrow and leaned back in her chair with her arms and legs crossed. She gestured for Angel to close the door and Angel complied, leaning against the solid wood and taking a deep breath in. Emma remained silent, waiting for Angel to make her interruption worthwhile.
“I know -” began Angel but she stopped herself suddenly and winced. She knew that Emma wasn’t satisfied with her allegiance and she didn’t completely understand why she was obeying Shaw’s orders. What Shaw was doing was horrifying though it’s been made clear to her by Azazel and Janos that he had mellowed out through the years and that she was lucky she hadn’t fallen into his hands a decade ago, where she would have been ripped to pieces instead of just beaten up.
While she wanted to stay in contact with Raven to see if she could manoeuvre herself closer to Erik, she also didn’t want Shaw to get his hands on Erik again. Erik had left a trail of blood throughout the mansion that led to the kitchen door, which still had no guards posted by it. Two escapes by Erik and one by Logan had not swayed the staff in the kitchen to allow for security and Shaw didn’t exactly want to eat poisoned food if the chefs got angry, so the door remained unguarded.
Emma sighed in irritation as Angel swallowed loudly and continued, deciding to take a chance that Emma wouldn’t tell Shaw where Erik was. “I know where Erik is.”
Emma perked up immediately, her back straight and her eyes wide. “How did you find him?”
The atmosphere in the room shifted and Angel knew that she had Emma’s undivided attention. She would never really understand Emma’s motivations but she truly believed that the blonde female cared for Erik more than anyone else. However, her kindness towards Erik may not extend far enough to keep him out of Shaw’s reach.
“I thought to look in the same place we found him on Sunday,” explained Angel and Emma looked slightly confused before shaking her head and silently urging Angel to continue. “I bumped into a girl I knew and she told me that her brother was looking after Erik.”
“Wait,” said Emma as she rose for her chair and walked over to Angel. Angel had never been terribly intimidated by her but at that moment Emma was towering over the dark haired girl with an incredulous expression and narrowed eyes. “Erik is in the company of a stranger and hasn’t killed him yet?”
Angel shrank into herself and pressed up against the door as hard as she could. “Apparently he tried to kill Charles, the brother, but has been forgiven.”
“Forgiven?” hissed Emma and Angel cringed. Emma had taken a step backwards but was still in her personal space and showed no signs of letting up. Angel had never seen her so worked up before and she was acting extraordinarily strange. “What sort of person forgives their attempted murderer?”
Angel shook her head. “I’m not sure. He seems like a good guy though, perhaps a little too trusting.”
“Why are you telling me this Angel?” asked Emma and Angel could finally interpret the emotion in Emma’s voice. It was desperation and distress, though Angel did not know why Emma would be troubled by the circumstances.
“I thought that was what I’m supposed to do,” confessed Angel, frowning as Emma finally moved away and reversed back to her seat. She gripped the arms of the chair tightly before lowering herself down, sighing loudly. Angel pried herself off the door and watched Emma, who was staring down at her hands and seemed to be deliberating internally.
“I thought I could trust you,” added Angel and Emma’s head snapped up, her brow furrowed.
“You can Angel,” confirmed Emma softly. “But it seems that Charles isn’t the only one that trusts too easily. I have an obligation to relay this information back to Sebastian.”
“No you can’t!” cried Angel and Emma’s eyes widened in surprise as Angel thrust out her hand as if she was trying to physically stop her though Emma had made no move to stand. “Can we please just keep this to ourselves?” Angel had just made the conscious decision to actively go against Shaw’s orders in front of his right hand woman.
Emma scratched her neck and looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, “Okay, just this once I’ll withhold the whereabouts of Erik but we need to get him to return as soon as possible.” Angel nodded in agreement as Emma continued. “You’ll spend more time with this girl you know and her brother and try to convince Erik to come home. If that proves fruitless then I will insert myself into the situation. We need Erik to come back or Shaw will take his anger out on us.”
“Thank you,” breathed a relieved Angel. “I knew I could count on you.”
Emma shook her head and pursed her lips, unmoved by Angel. “Yeah well, let’s just make sure we don’t get ourselves killed.”
**
It took Charles the entirety of the week and a half that Erik was in hospital to persuade him to accompany Charles back to his apartment. Erik was stubborn and melancholy and made no attempt to hide his self-consternation regarding his place in life. That did not dissuade Charles from his mission to make sure that the other man was in a safe and secure home to mend his wounds further. With Raven gone and refusing to speak to him, rather reluctantly according to Moira, Charles found no reason for Erik not to move in with him. He was going to have to work on his sister and may even resort to begging if he had to; he missed having her around and felt like he was empty without her.
Despite having spent most of his free time in Erik’s hospital room, he ended up divulging most of his own personal information as Erik listened intently. The only thing he knew for sure about Erik was that his surname was Lehnsherr and he was thirty-four years old. Erik was extremely vigilant about what he said and made it quite clear that he was content to hear all about Charles’ life if it meant that he didn’t have to talk about himself. Though as Charles told Erik about how much he adored Raven and how he wished their childhood had been warmer (gentler, kinder) he found himself craving for more details on Erik, who evaded the majority of questions that fell from Charles’ lips when he couldn’t stop his curiosity.
Erik had remained silent for the first few days of his stay in Charles’ apartment, noting the absence of Raven and knowing that it was his own fault for her reaction to his presence. He constantly berated himself for his actions, wishing he could go back in time and keep his hands away from Charles’ neck. He was unusually calm, though he chalked it down to the pain medication and the fact that every time he moved his whole body creaked with pain. He was aware of the fact that he was leeching off Charles but the younger male insisted that he was doing nothing of the sort.
His escape from Shaw’s mansion had been a blessing and a curse, for he had almost died trying to find his way back to Charles. He knew that if he had just stayed at the mansion then Shaw’s doctor would have arrived and fixed him but he had put his own life on the line for a chance to say sorry. Azazel had looked apologetic with every punch and kick and Erik had taken the beating with as much valour as he could, just like every other time. He was certain that Shaw had been watching in the surveillance room, making sure that Azazel made good on the promise to not go easy on him. Janos had stood outside the door and listened to the sickening crunch of Erik’s cheek that had taken the full brunt of Azazel’s fist and his ribs that had cracked under the pressure of Azazel's boot. Apparently Janos had advised Shaw to halt the procedure but the boss had shaken his head and said, “Erik needs to learn a lesson.”
The serenity Erik felt when he was with Charles was coupled with a sense of rage that he had never been able to control before. Now though, he could easily flip the switch off and become a semblance of a normal human being that was sane and healthy. He was struggling with the newfound sense of self-control and still didn’t trust himself to be around anyone other than Charles and even then he didn’t know if he would relapse and try to kill Charles again. Charles seemed to trust and forgive him unreservedly and Erik honestly did not understand him. He certainly didn’t forgive himself for what he had done and yet the raw goodness in Charles’ heart seemed to almost override his logic.
They settled into a routine rather easily after the first week and it was apparent that their habits just nestled together perfectly until it was like they had lived together their whole lives. Erik remained indoors and watched people from his bedroom window, trying to gage whether or not he was stable enough to leave the apartment and if he did, what the chances of being caught would be. Charles would be awakened every morning by Erik cooking breakfast and making sure that there was a constant supply of coffee, hot and ready to drink. Erik was an early riser and was usually in the shower by six in the morning. Charles had come to rely so much on Erik’s presence to wake him that he had turned off his alarm.
Every day at eight o’clock, Charles would call Moira with the hope of speaking to Raven; Some days Raven would listen and hang up the phone without a word and other days Moira would tell Charles not to bother. The latter happened frequently enough for Charles to begin to feel desperate.
“Please Moira, let me talk to her,” pleaded Charles one morning. He and Erik were sitting at the kitchen table. Erik had a newspaper spread out in front of him and was pretending to be absorbed in an article but it was obvious that he was focusing on Charles’ conversation.
“I’m sorry Charles but she just doesn’t want to talk. This has gone on long enough, you need to get rid of Erik.” Moira sounded sympathetic but also irritated, having relayed many messages between the siblings. She was beginning to get sick of being in the middle.
Charles sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “If she would just come home and see him to hear him out then she would think differently.” Charles wasn’t able to comprehend why he had forgiven Erik so easily and he knew it was going to be ridiculously difficult to even push Raven in that direction. He simply didn’t have a good enough excuse other than, “he didn’t mean to hurt me,” and that definitely did not cut it.
“Charles,” said Moira softly. “She loves you, you know that but she just can’t justify what you are doing. Give her some more time to mull it over and then call back but for now just leave it be.” He heard Moira exhale loudly before the phone beeped, indicating that she had hung up. Charles placed the phone back in its cradle and ran his fingers through his hair.
Erik had dropped all pretence of reading the paper and was staring at Charles sadly, knowing that the problems in his life were all mainly due to him and his actions. Charles’ neck still bore faint bruises that were fading out to yellow. Every time Erik glanced at them he felt a sharp pang through his chest that reminded him of guilt, though he hadn’t felt that emotion in years. Charles was bringing out a side of him that Shaw had spent over two decades oppressing.
“I’m so sorry Charles,” admitted Erik and he meant it. He never wanted to hurt Charles the way he did, physically and emotionally. Everywhere he went he ended up breaking everything he touched and sometimes he thought that perhaps he was better off in Shaw’s hands with the older man making the hard decisions. It was easier to pass off the blame when he was being ordered.
Charles looked up at Erik from the spot on the table he had been staring at, his eyes glazed over and bloodshot. He gave Erik a small smile and said, “I know you are. All we need is for Raven to see that.”
Erik leaned over and clasped Charles’ forearm tightly, giving it a reassuring squeeze before letting it go. Charles’ heart leapt into his throat but he kept his face passive. His arm burned from where Erik had touched him and he flexed his fingers, trying to distract himself. He was getting used to Erik’s presence and found that if he was away from the other man for too long then he would actually start to miss him. They were around each other so much that it had begun to seem like they had known each other for years, instead of weeks. Erik usually kept his hands to himself and Charles wondered if it was because Erik was scared of startling him with sudden movement or if he wasn’t sure if he was going to hurt Charles again. Charles was certain that Erik wouldn’t lash out again and was absolutely not fearful of being touched by him either.
Their days consisted of much dithering around and contemplation. Charles didn’t have a stable job and his inheritance had set him up for the rest of his life. However, Erik seemed to pull money out of nowhere and Charles had no idea where he had acquired it from. Erik insisted on paying a portion of the bills and groceries despite Charles’ protests that it really wasn’t necessary. He was met with a dismissive wave of Erik’s hand a few hundred dollar bills stuffed unceremoniously into his wallet. Erik was still having trouble leaving the apartment and Charles was beginning to worry that his new roommate had some form of agoraphobia. It would explain his reaction on the night that they met and his unwillingness to leave the building but Charles had a sneaking suspicion that Erik had a different reason for his self-imposed exile.
Nightfall was always interesting to Charles, as Erik’s red eyes and dark circles pointed to the man not sleeping. Charles could sometimes hear Erik struggling in the spare bedroom, crying out and even sobbing. He chalked it down to nightmares and it was quite obvious that Erik suffered severely from them. On the rare occasion that Raven had spoken to him on the phone she had mentioned that if she was still living with him, she would not have been able to fall asleep for the fear of Erik killing her in her sleep. Charles had hung up on her and instantly regretted it. It had taken him another two weeks before she agreed to speak to him again and she was distant while doing so.
Their weekly trips to a restaurant were on edge, at best. Raven never attended them and Charles wasn’t naive enough to bring Erik, so he left him at home. The rest of his friends met him at various restaurants and pretended that everything was normal but it was clear that everyone was under some strain. Charles didn’t mention Erik at the meals and made sure that no one felt that they had to take sides between him and Raven. Sean tried his best to make light of the situation but not even his antics could break the tension. So, instead of their usual obnoxious chattering, the table was full of inane speeches of what everyone had been doing since they last saw each other.
One night, while they were all saying goodbye outside the restaurant, Alex and Sean came up to Charles. Darwin and Hank stopped their conversation and waited for the inevitable mention of Erik. Moira stood to the side, ready to pounce and squash any idea of accepting the controversial man.
“Charles, we were thinking that we could go to your apartment and meet Erik,” suggested Alex and Moira raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to argue. She was stopped by Alex raising his hand and giving her a pointed look.
“Are you sure you want to do that Alex?” questioned Charles, who was thoroughly taken aback by the proposal. “I thought none of you liked Erik.”
“Raven does have a reason to stay away,” piped up Sean and Moira pursed her lips in agreement. “But that doesn’t mean that we have to. Things are getting way too stressful. I want to make up my own mind about him.”
“I agree,” added Darwin. “I know what he did to you was unforgivable but you seem to perceive it in a different light. If you can accept him then why shouldn’t we all try?”
“Because he is a psychopath,” growled Moira and Charles had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. She had obviously been listening to Raven’s version of events. “He should be in prison, not in Charles’ apartment.”
“Have you even met him Moira?” asked Hank and Alex laughed as he realised that Moira had never even spoken to Erik. The only time she had ever seen him was at the restaurant all those weeks ago.
Moira spluttered for a moment as the boys all looked at her, waiting for an explanation. Charles knew that Moira was trying to stay loyal to Raven and that she was ultimately looking out for his safety but he couldn’t help but feel anger at how she was treating Erik. He was becoming increasingly protective of him and wanted his friends to see the man that he had forgiven, not the man that had tried to kill him.
“Fine,” huffed Moira and Sean snorted scathingly. “I haven’t met him but I don’t want to. I’m sorry but I just don’t want to associate with someone like him.”
“I understand,” said Charles as Moira crossed her arms and looked defeated. “But you can’t stop everyone else from meeting him. If they want to come then nothing is stopping them.”
Charles was astounded that his friends wanted to meet Erik (or in Alex and Sean’s case, see him when he wasn’t halfway to death) but he wasn’t completely sure that Erik would appreciate the company. He came to the conclusion that Erik was going to have to figure out a way to be around people and that this was the best way to do it. At least he would be in a controlled environment and Charles would be there to make sure he didn’t do anything rash.
Moira defiantly refused to join in and went back to her house to presumably tell Raven about the ensuing plan. Charles was hoping that the willingness of the boys to see Erik would help to shift Raven’s view to an extent but he knew that Moira would be pulling her in the other direction. Charles was going to have to worry about Raven later. Erik was going to be horrified by the unexpected guests and Charles was going to have to come up with a plan if anything went wrong.
**
Erik almost slammed the door in Charles’ face when he came home after his night out with his friends. There were four other males behind him; two of which he recognised. Charles gave him an apologetic look and shrugged before entering the apartment and placing a gentle hand on Erik’s arm.
“They wanted to meet you,” he said softly, leaning into Erik as he felt the other man tense. “Think of this as a step forward.” Erik agreed with Charles but that didn’t stop him from shaking. Charles tightened his grip on his arm and Erik forced his heart to slow down as it thumped against his ribs.
Alex took the initiative to step inside and hold out his hand for Erik to shake. Charles smiled at the younger man, grateful that he was trying to get along. Erik looked at the hand for some time before reaching out hesitantly and shaking it.
“You look familiar,” stated Erik after he let go of Alex’s hand. “Do I know you from somewhere?”
Alex chuckled and said, “Yeah, actually. I’ve helped save your life twice. Sean has too.” Alex gestured towards Sean who stepped forward and shook Erik’s hand as well. Erik was beginning to calm down and thanked both the men for their prior assistance. While he knew for sure that he had met Alex, there was something about him that struck him as memorable that didn’t add up to their previous meetings. It was almost as if Erik had encountered Alex’s mannerisms, though he barely remembered his face from before.
Hank introduced himself and shook Erik’s hand enthusiastically, while Darwin was more reserved but seemed to be sucked in by Erik’s outer charm. The fact that they all knew what Erik was capable of but still held an open mind made Erik’s heart swell. No one had ever treated him with respect other than out of fear but the people around him appeared to genuinely want to get to know him.
Charles was beside Erik for the entirety of their visit, usually with a hand on Erik’s arm, warm and comforting. Though Erik did feel his insides churning and his mind flickering dangerously close to certain emotions, he managed to keep himself in check. He found himself staring at Alex more than once, completely unaware of doing so but utterly transfixed. It felt as though he had known him before but he just couldn’t place it. When they all left, Charles confronted Erik, having obviously seen his blatant staring.
“You seemed quite enthralled by Alex.” Erik detected a hint of bitterness in Charles’ voice and noticed that his shoulders were squared and stiff. He was washing coffee mugs in the sink as Erik locked the front door and took off his shoes and placed them by the door. He meandered towards Charles in the kitchen area and walked up behind him. He gripped his tense shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly.
“He gave me a sense of déjà vu. I felt that I had known him in another life or something.”
Charles turned around and Erik had to take a step back, having been quite close to Charles. His hands were dripping with soap suds and water and a few drops splashed onto Erik’s socks and soaked through. Charles was blushing slightly and sighed, giving Erik a sheepish look. Erik grabbed a dry cloth from the bench top and began drying Charles’ sodden hands.
“Thank you for trusting me with your friends,” said Erik as Charles took the cloth from him and continued the action of removing the water. “I know it can’t be easy with me around and that I’m causing a lot of stress. Believe me, I wish it was different and I want to know how I can make things better.”
Charles shook his head and gave Erik a fond look before passing the cloth back to Erik and clasping his hand tightly. “I believe in you Erik and as long as you endeavour to get better than I am always going to be by your side, no matter what. You being here is enough. I know it looks like there’s been trouble with my friends but that’s between me and them and has nothing to do with you.”
Charles let go of Erik’s hand and went to move away but stopped when he felt his hands being grasped by Erik’s. He could feel his friend shaking but Erik was smiling, wide and uninhibited, something he rarely did. Before Charles could register what he was doing he brought Erik’s hands up to his lips and pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles. Erik’s smile faltered and his eyes grew soft.
Charles pulled his hands out of Erik’s grasp and said roughly, “I, ah... I think it’s time for bed.” He scratched the back of his neck and stepped away from Erik, who hadn’t moved, his hands still raised slightly. Charles began to move away and left Erik in the kitchen, not sure why he had thought it was a good idea to kiss Erik’s hand. He glanced over his shoulder as he opened his bedroom door and spotted Erik leaning against the counter, his hands gripping the edge of the bench top.
“Goodnight Erik,” said Charles as he closed his door. He didn’t hear an answer and barely slept a wink that night. He came to the painful realisation that he needed Raven more than ever and missed her guidance. He was going to try even harder to get her back in the morning.
**
Angel had kept in contact with Raven and had managed to infiltrate her life without rousing suspicion. She had even been invited to dinner at Moira’s house and had attended. With Raven living away from Charles and being angry with him it was hard for Angel to pry any sort of information from her. Moira was just as shut off as Raven, though she did let some things slip, as she saw Charles more than Raven did. So Angel knew that Erik wasn’t leaving the apartment and that he had settled into Charles’ life with ease. Though Angel had only known Erik for a year she was surprised that he had settled down to the point of omitting violence. When Emma heard about that she had looked concerned, knowing that when Erik bottled things up he sometimes took out his aggression on himself.
Though the purpose of her friendship with Raven was the recovery effort of Erik without the knowledge of Shaw, Angel found herself wistfully daydreaming about the day she could break free of Shaw’s grasp and make friends without ulterior motives. Emma had been giving Angel wads of cash to give to Erik when Charles was away from the apartment and Erik always slammed the door in her face during every one of her visits. With his denial and her wishful thinking, Angel was seconds away from running away herself. She deemed it impossible to convince Erik to return without the help of Shaw or Azazel and she didn’t want it to come to that. However, Erik’s successful escape had her thinking that perhaps she was capable of one too. The longer Erik stayed away, the more she wanted to be free and the more apprehensive Emma became. Azazel and Janos were still patrolling the area and Shaw’s acquaintances were all on high alert. Erik was being hunted for the first time in his life.
Two months into the covert operation Emma finally decided to intervene. Angel had been unsuccessful at receiving any sort of useable information from Raven and Shaw was beginning to get suspicious about the large sums of cash that Emma was removing from her bank account. She decided that a head on approach was the only way to go and that is how she found herself at Charles’ apartment, knocking on his front door.
Emma wasn’t sure why she was so surprised to find herself facing someone who wasn’t Erik when the door was opened. She guessed that the man in front of her was Charles and he stared at her with a confused expression that mirrored her own. Of course Erik wouldn’t be answering the door; Angel had a scheduled time when she dropped off the money and had made sure that Charles was always absent. Charles cleared his throat and shook his head slightly before addressing Emma.
“May I help you?”
Emma almost laughed at the sheer politeness of the stranger who had somehow stolen Erik’s heart and mind. Erik had never been subjected to kindness during his time at Shaw’s and was an insensitive man himself. The fact that Charles had taken him in was unexpected, for Erik normally turned off people who had any semblance of self respect.
“Ah yes,” said Emma awkwardly, trying to hide her smirk. “I’m looking for Erik. I was led to believe he lives here now.”
Charles’ eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth a few times. Emma had obviously taken him aback. Despite his previous courtesy he opted to not let Emma into the apartment and stood fully in front of the doorway, blocking any passage into the room beyond. Emma was sure that Erik would not have told Charles about his actual lifestyle but Charles had seemed to deduce that Erik had no real friends that were trustworthy and therefore he did not trust Emma.
“You’re correct, Erik does live here,” said Charles as Emma tried to peer over his shoulder. She caught a glimpse of a table and chairs but no sign of Erik. Charles made an effort to close the door as much as he could without squashing himself.
“May I see him?” asked Emma, masking her usual authoritative voice with a softer edge to it. Shaw had accused her of being too intimidating and that her confidence would only get her so far. Most people were wary when it came to Emma, as her demeanour oozed a hidden threat.
“Ah, I don’t think that’s wise.” Emma’s change of tone had thrown Charles off for a moment but he stood his ground. He showed no signs of inviting her in and frustration was bubbling up inside her. All she needed was to see Erik face to face and try to persuade him to come back home. He would listen to her, she was sure of it.
“Please, he needs to be with the people who love him,” said Emma sweetly and she heard Charles scoff under his breath. “I’ve been looking after him for years and I only want what’s best for him.” She meant what she said but knew that it was not that simple. If Erik returned with her there was no telling what Shaw would do to him.
“You only want what’s best for him?” laughed Charles in scepticism. “I’m sorry but are you in some sort of fantasy world or have you actually seen the state that Erik is in? And I’m willing to bet my life that you and the people that ‘love’ him are responsible.” Charles moved his foot to jam the door as he lifted his hands to ferociously form quotation marks for the word love.
Just like that, the urge to bring Erik home left Emma and all she could feel was the cold emptiness that reminded her of all the times she had abandoned Erik and left him to his fate. She was under Shaw’s iron grip as much as Erik was but she had so much more influence and never used it. Not once had she argued to save Erik from a beating, fearing that her insolence would earn herself a bruise. Looking after number one was always first on her list but at that moment she knew that Erik had finally found a way to be free. If she brought him home she would be spelling out his doom. Her younger years had seen unbridled violence from her own hands but she had mellowed out and was feeling the effects of disillusionment.
“You’re right,” whispered Emma, her voice breaking slightly. Charles had opened his mouth to say something harsh and immediately closed it, not expecting the sudden aberration. Emma took a deep breath in and continued. “He needs to stay with you. You’re the only one who truly cares enough to keep him safe.”
Emma retreated from the door without a word and began to walk back down the hallway, towards the elevator. Charles stuttered for a moment before calling after her retreating form, “Wait, who are you?” The only answer Emma could come up with made more sense to her than anything that had happened in the past two decades.
“I’m Emma and I thought I was the only friend of Erik’s. Turns out I was mistaken. Please, look after him the way I never could.”
**
Author’s Note: This chapter is the longest yet! I quite like it, which is saying something because I usually side-eye everything I write. The part with Raven and Angel was awkward to write and I’m not too happy with it but I can’t really figure out what else to do with it so I guess it’ll just have to keep on being awkward.
By the way, since I am only familiar with the movie!verse of X Men, I don’t really have a great grasp of the timeline. I can guess what age certain characters are but I’m sure I’m not accurate. I am currently planning another fic and would like to know how old Storm, Jean and Scott would be around five years after the beach scene, so 1967. I’m guessing they’d be in their late teens/early twenties by then but I’d appreciate it if someone could give me a more confident answer ‘cause I am really just plucking things out of the air. I really do wish I had grown up with the comics but the town I grew up in (and still live in... I’ll leave eventually) does not sell comics anywhere!
Author: xxjulzcxx/braving_it
Pairing: Erik/Charles
Rating: R
Warnings: Character death, violence, mentions of child abuse and self harm/suicide.
Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t sue. Title and chapter headings belong to ‘The National’.
Summary: Modern day, human AU. Sebastian Shaw has devoted his life to creating the ideal monster, hidden within the mind, trying desperately to claw its way out. Erik Lehnsherr seems the perfect candidate and excels beyond Shaw’s expectations. Everything was going extraordinarily well, until the unexpected arrival of Charles Xavier.
Author’s Note: Ugh, I know this is a week late but I haven’t had a minute to myself and couldn’t find time to write. What I have learned during these past couple of weeks though is never, ever try to fit 70 Italians into an average size house. Five days of constant family time is lovely but stressful. Unless something comes up I will try my hardest and continue to update every week from now on.
Chapter Five: You Were a Kindness When I was a Stranger
The constant beep of the heart monitor thrummed through Charles’ head, lulling him almost to sleep. Erik lay in the stark white hospital bed, his face a mess of black and blue, stitches marring his right cheek. He had four broken ribs and a fractured cheek bone, along with a concussion and some internal bleeding. His surgery had taken some time and Charles had found that he didn’t have the power to leave the hospital when Erik’s life had teetered in the balance. He also didn’t want to face Raven, who was still at their apartment. She had screamed herself hoarse, opposing the move to dial 911 and save Erik, who had died in their doorway. Charles had ignored her and made the call himself. He had been slightly hysterical and the operator had asked him to calm down. Alex had taken the call from then on in as Charles furiously pumped his hands on Erik’s chest, trying to revive his heart. He had been successful and Erik had survived the wait for the ambulance. Raven had refused to budge from her spot in the kitchen, her face screwed up in contempt as Erik was lifted into a stretcher and carried out of the room.
The doctors had stated that the surgery went fine and that Erik was in the clear. He had extensive injuries but they were easily fixed. They had mentioned that Erik’s body seemed to have been subjected to prior severe wounds, reminiscent of abuse but they weren’t sure if Erik had a past career where he was injured regularly or if he had been a child of domestic violence. The police had come and gone, promising to find some sort of background on Erik and Charles had felt particularly uncomfortable when he told the police he did not know Erik’s surname. Charles had come to the sharp realisation that he knew nothing about Erik and the one thing he did know was that he was violent. He stayed seated though, his backside aching from the hard chair. The nurse that checked in on Erik stared at Charles’ neck through narrowed eyes but did not mention it and for that Charles was grateful.
The fact that Erik had found his way back to the apartment was a mystery to Charles. He was sure that Erik would not have been able to remember their trip back from the Hellfire club. The only possible reason was that when Erik left the day before he had actively remembered where Charles lived, in order to somehow find his way back one day. Charles smiled sadly, wishing that Erik’s visit had been in different circumstances. He knew that Raven would be furious with him but he had forgiven Erik for his actions, unable to correlate the violence to the defeated man in front of him.
The heart monitor began to beep faster as Erik began to stir. A groan of pain escaped through his lips as his eyes flickered open. Charles placed his hand gingerly on Erik’s arm, not wanting to startle the man. Erik took a deep breath in and hissed, his chest stuttering as his broken ribs throbbed. He blinked rapidly and stared at Charles from his place on his pillow. He was propped up just enough to see Charles clearly without having to move.
“Hey there,” said Charles softly. “Welcome back.”
“Am I in a hospital?” asked Erik thickly, his swollen face making it difficult for him to speak.
Charles sighed. “Yes, I had to call an ambulance. I couldn’t let you die.” He surprised himself with how much he meant that, not knowing how he would feel if Erik hadn’t survived. He didn’t want to think about it.
“I don’t need your pity,” said Erik weakly. Charles was sure he meant to say it with venom but could not find the strength.
“It’s not pity my friend,” said Charles as he tightened his grip on Erik’s arm. “It’s called concern and it’s a very different premise.”
Through his inflamed eyes Erik was staring at Charles fiercely, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he breathed through the ache of his injuries. If Erik didn’t believe that Charles genuinely cared about his wellbeing he didn’t mention it. Charles knew that a nurse should probably be checking in on Erik and the button was on the bedside table waiting to be pressed but Charles wanted more time with Erik alone.
His selfishness was punished as a nurse walked into the room on her own accord and her usual blasé appearance was suddenly animated when she saw that Erik had woken up. She gestured to someone on the other side of the doorway and then began fiddling with his charts. The doctor walked in and began asking question, waiting patiently for Erik to answer. Charles’ hand was a constant presence on Erik’s arm. Erik would be in hospital for at least another week; his stitches were holding nicely and there weren’t any signs of further complications.
“Of course, you need to make sure that you have someone looking after you when we discharge you,” said the doctor. “And you have to rest for a good month while your body recuperates.”
Erik cringed slightly at the mention of being cared for but nodded nonetheless. The doctor finished up and left the room, leaving the nurse to scribbling something in her chart. Just as she went to leave she paused in the doorway, turning towards Erik with a curious expression.
“Erik, what is your surname?” she asked and Charles perked up, waiting to see if Erik would answer. Erik’s eyes widened at the inquiry and his heart rate began to speed up. The nurse didn’t seem to notice as she waited for a reply but Charles could feel Erik’s arm tense under his fingers.
“Logan,” Erik finally managed. “Erik Logan.” The nurse smiled and thanked him before walking out of the room. Charles was frowning, having seen right through the blatant lie.
“Logan?” said Charles and Erik looked at him sheepishly. “I hope you don’t think that I am as daft as that nurse because it is abundantly clear that you just lied through your teeth.”
“I’m sorry Charles but no one can know who I really am. It’s better this way.” Erik sighed and shifted slightly, trying to make himself comfortable. The bed looked less than appealing to Charles.
“Erik, what do you think I’m going to do with the knowledge of your real name?” asked Charles, exasperated. “Please, you owe me this at least.”
Erik looked like he was fighting with himself and frowned, flinching when the facial movement disturbed his bruises and stitches. He opened his mouth a few times, trying to find the right words to say to Charles, who was now rubbing soothing circles with his thumb into Erik’s arm. It seemed that comforting Erik came naturally to Charles.
“Lehnsherr,” said Erik after a few minutes of internal debating. “Erik Lehnsherr. But please keep it to yourself.”
“Of course,” promised Charles. “I won’t tell a soul.” A huge part of Charles was celebrating with the new piece of information. It was like receiving a puzzle piece, though most of the other pieces were missing.
“I don’t know what I was thinking, knocking at your door,” confessed Erik. “You had every right to let me die out in the streets after what I did to you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Charles firmly. “I told you, I couldn’t let you die. You gave me a right scare though. I thought I had lost you.”
Erik shook his head in disbelief. “Any other person would have let me die. You’re far too good to be true. I’ve never met anyone like you.” Erik gave Charles a small smile, before his face fell slack again. Charles smiled at Erik and laughed softly, not sure how to take the compliment.
“If you were so certain that I would kick you out then why did you come back?” asked Charles. He was glad that Erik had chosen to return, even if it had been in such chaotic circumstances.
“All I could think of was redeeming myself to you,” said Erik softly. He swallowed forcefully before continuing. “I knew I was going to die and all I wanted to do was let you know how sorry I was. I barely got out alive.” The last part was added as an afterthought and as soon as he said it Erik went rigid. Charles somehow knew that Erik had slipped up and said something he shouldn’t have.
“My friend, you have truly found redemption,” said Charles, choosing to ignore Erik’s last statement for his sake. Erik sighed and closed his eyes, his face relaxing.
“Though I can’t say the same for Raven,” added Charles and a laughed rumbled through Erik’s chest as he opened his eyes. Charles laughed with him but at the back of his mind he knew that he was about to test his relationship with Raven more than ever. Erik was coming home with him, whether she liked it or not.
**
“No Charles!” shouted Raven. She had been cooking dinner when he had arrived home from the hospital, evening hours over. Raven had a large knife in her hands and a half cut carrot on the chopping board. If Charles didn’t play his cards right then he was going to end up with the carrot.
“Please Raven, just hear me out,” begged Charles but Raven wouldn’t hear a bar of it.
“No, over my dead body. He tried to kill you and now you want him to live with us? Are you crazy?” Raven was waving the knife around and Charles kept his distance, eyeing the blade warily.
“Raven, I don’t want to send him back to wherever he lives. I think that’s where he’s being hurt.” Charles was desperate for Raven to understand. “He honestly didn’t mean to harm me, I know that. If you would just talk to him then you would see-”
“I do not want to be anywhere near him,’ interrupted Raven forcefully as she pointed the knife at Charles to emphasise her point. “He is a psychopath. God knows what he’s done and what other atrocities he is capable of.”
“Please Raven,” said Charles as he stepped closer. “Just give him a chance to prove himself. I refuse to just abandon him.”
“You aren’t abandoning him Charles!” cried Raven. She dropped the knife onto the kitchen bench with a loud clang. “He’s not your responsibility. He is an adult who can take care of himself.”
Charles pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed through his teeth heavily. “You don’t understand Raven. He needs me.”
“What do you see in him Charles?” hissed Raven. She stepped away from the bench and walked up to him, stopping a few feet away. “Why do you think he deserves anything from you?”
Charles opened his mouth with the intention of answering the question without hesitation but realised that he was a loss for words. He really didn’t know what it was about Erik that he was so drawn to. Raven was right, Erik was an adult who had his life in his own hands but Charles ached to have Erik in arms reach. He needed the reassurance that he was all right though he could not find a logical reason for why he felt that way.
“You can’t answer that, can you?” pointed out Raven and Charles shook his head, not quite meeting her eyes.
“Just think about it Raven,” said Charles, trying one more time. “Promise me you’ll think about it.”
Raven frowned, her eyes glassy and Charles didn’t know if it was with fury or tears. She clenched her jaw and shook her head firmly. She walked over to the front door and grabbed her coat off the hook and draped it over her arm, not bothering to put it on.
“If you go through with this Charles, don’t expect me back anytime soon,” said Raven as she opened the front door. Charles began to step towards her with the intention to stop her from leaving. Raven held out her hand and he stopped walking, frozen in place by her steely gaze.
“I’ll be at Moira’s if you need me.”
“Raven, please we can work this out,” said Charles weakly. “Don’t go.”
“I can’t stay here if you bring Erik into our home, I just can’t,” said Raven.
She sighed and closed the door behind her. Charles waited for it to slam but it shut with a soft click. He knew Raven was livid with him but she also never had the ability to be fully furious. Her anger usually simmered down when she realised that there was no way out of the fight and that there was something seriously wrong.
Charles sat down heavily on one of the chairs, now faced with the predicament of convincing Erik to come home with him and making Raven see that Erik could be trusted. He buried his head in his hands and stifled a scream of frustration.
**
Raven hated being angry with Charles but was absolutely against the idea of allowing Erik to stay at their apartment. She could not understand how Charles could have simply forgiven him so easily after he almost died at the man’s hands. She felt sick when she remembered watching Charles struggle so helplessly against a raging Erik, trying uselessly to pry the fingers off his neck. It had taken all her might not to kill Erik, though she knew she wouldn’t have succeeded. He was obviously extremely strong and unpredictable.
Raven stopped walking, realising that she had been meandering for at least fifteen minutes with no idea where she was headed. She sighed when she saw that she had actually set off in the opposite direction of Moira’s house and turned on her heel. She let out a small sound of surprise when she turned to face a worried looking Angel. Raven went to smile when she saw that Angel’s lip was split and that there were dark circles under her eyes.
“Oh my god, what happened to you?” Raven decided to skip over the reintroductions, knowing the Angel must remember her from the other night, no matter how much she had to drink.
Angel seemed to have the same idea but brushed off Raven’s concern. “Oh nothing, I’m fine. I’m just incredibly clumsy and the stair banister got in my way.”
Raven didn’t entirely believe Angel’s explanation but decided to let the subject go. If Angel was going to lie to her then it was obvious she didn’t want to talk about what was going on in her life. Besides, Raven had only spent one night with Angel and that hardly constituted her for a detailed lowdown on Angel’s life. Raven didn’t even know if it was wise to bring up the subject of Angel disappearing at the Hellfire Club. She had seen Angel leave the club in a hurry even though she had been focused on Erik. The knowledge that she had been so enthralled with Erik, or rather his looks, made her uneasy. Had she had known what he was like then she would have never given him a seconds thought.
“What are you doing in these parts?” asked Raven as she gestured for Angel to walk with her. Angel complied and strode beside Raven, who was now on the correct trajectory to Moira’s house.
“I live around here,” supplied Angel, rather quickly. Her abrupt answer made Raven absolutely sure that Angel didn’t want to the centre of the conversation.
A white van drove slowly past the pair and Angel eyed it cautiously. Raven glanced at it and noticed that the driver was staring right at Angel, his eyebrows raised and his finger waving as though he was impatient with her. Angel snorted when she saw the driver and flipped him off, before waving her hand, motioning to him to keep driving. He pursed his lips but sped up and eventually turned left and out of sight.
“Friend of yours?” questioned Raven, though she knew that Angel would probably only give her a one worded answer.
“Yeah,” came Angel’s reply and Raven had to keep her face neutral, not quite knowing how to take her evasiveness. Raven glanced sideways at Angel as the other girl watched the corner that the van had turned into. Raven couldn’t shake off the feeling that Angel was waiting for something to happen.
“What are you doing?” asked Angel suddenly, changing the subject and focusing the attention on Raven. “You look tired.”
“I’m just frustrated,” said Raven as she kicked a stone with her foot and watched it skip over the pavement. Moira’s house was still around an hour away and Raven needed to wait for Charles to leave their apartment before she returned for some clothes and essentials. She really didn’t have the patience to face him.
“Has something happened?” inquired Angel and Raven knew she probably should keep the situation to herself but she felt that she needed a second opinion regarding her reaction. She wanted a fresh mind to perceive the issue in a different light to her or Charles and even their friends, who were all biased.
“Remember the man who was beaten up at the Hellfire Club on Saturday night?”
Raven studied Angel’s face for her reaction, knowing that she would remember the fight and the fact that she fled the scene, almost as if she had been the one in trouble. Angel’s eyes widened for a split second before her face went back to normal, though her jaw was clenched slightly. Raven could see her chest moving rapidly as Angel’s breathing sped up.
“Yeah, I remember,” said Angel nonchalantly though her voice was strained.
“Well we took him home to take care of him,” continued Raven, ignoring Angel’s strange response. “Or rather, Charles took care of him and became quite fond of the man. Erik, that’s what his name was.”
Raven glanced at Angel, who had her hand in her pocket and was fiddling around with whatever was in there. Raven guessed it was her phone but she couldn’t be sure. In any case, Angel seemed extraordinarily distracted, her breathing still laboured.
“It’s quite risky taking a stranger home,” pointed out Angel as she took her hand out of her pocket. She seemed to have settled her mind down.
Raven scoffed and nodded in agreement. “I know and I still can’t believe I let him into our apartment. He tried to strangle Charles, almost killed him.”
Angel stopped walking abruptly and stared at Raven in disbelief as Raven halted in front of her. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” cried out Angel.
Raven threw her arms into the air in irritation and shook her head. “I wish I was but Charles has the bruises to prove it. And the worse thing is, Erik is in hospital now, in pretty bad shape and Charles wants to bring him home and look after him, after what he did to him. I can’t go back if Erik is there, I just can’t.”
“I completely understand,” said Angel sincerely. “You have every right to stay away but also every right to not let him in. It’s your apartment too.”
Raven bit her lip sheepishly and shuffled her feet. “Actually, it’s not my apartment. Charles bought it years ago and let me live with him. He’s been nothing but good to me but there are some things I can’t handle and this is one of them.”
“What if he hurts Charles again?” wondered Angel and Raven couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of that situation beforehand.
“Oh my god, I didn’t think of that. I can’t just leave Charles to fend for himself. He’s never really been good at self-defence.” Raven began to fret, gnawing at her lip and wringing her hands.
“Settle down Raven, I’m sure he’ll be fine,” said Angel soothingly. She patted Raven on the arm awkwardly as the white van from before rounded the corner nearest to them and passed by for a second time. They pulled up on the other side of the street and an arm waved out the window, indicating for Angel to join them.
Angel smiled softly at Raven. “Sweetie, I have to go. Good luck with Charles. I hope it all works out for you.” Though Angel sounded earnest there was an edge to her voice that Raven heard and couldn’t particularly decipher. Something she had said during their conversation had worked its way into Angel’s demeanour and it was showing with her every movement.
The sun was beginning to set on the horizon and Raven still had to walk all the way to Moira’s house. She exchanged numbers with Angel and told her that anytime she needed to talk, she was one phone call away. Raven felt uneasy about Angel’s so called friends and didn’t want to leave the other girl to an unknown fate that may or may not be responsible for her split lip. In a way she knew that the situation between her and Angel was extremely similar to that of Charles and Erik but at least Angel had not tried to kill her and if she did Raven would definitely not let her back into her life the way that Charles was doing.
She set off towards Moira’s with a heavy heart and a whirling mind that couldn’t stop going through the events of the past week. If only she hadn’t been so keen to go out on Saturday night then they would have never met Erik and Charles wouldn’t be in danger. Hindsight was a bitch.
**
“Emma, we need to talk.”
Angel was standing in the doorway of Emma’s office, watching as the older female finished writing something on a piece of paper and neatly placed it on a pile of others. Emma peered at Angel with a raised eyebrow and leaned back in her chair with her arms and legs crossed. She gestured for Angel to close the door and Angel complied, leaning against the solid wood and taking a deep breath in. Emma remained silent, waiting for Angel to make her interruption worthwhile.
“I know -” began Angel but she stopped herself suddenly and winced. She knew that Emma wasn’t satisfied with her allegiance and she didn’t completely understand why she was obeying Shaw’s orders. What Shaw was doing was horrifying though it’s been made clear to her by Azazel and Janos that he had mellowed out through the years and that she was lucky she hadn’t fallen into his hands a decade ago, where she would have been ripped to pieces instead of just beaten up.
While she wanted to stay in contact with Raven to see if she could manoeuvre herself closer to Erik, she also didn’t want Shaw to get his hands on Erik again. Erik had left a trail of blood throughout the mansion that led to the kitchen door, which still had no guards posted by it. Two escapes by Erik and one by Logan had not swayed the staff in the kitchen to allow for security and Shaw didn’t exactly want to eat poisoned food if the chefs got angry, so the door remained unguarded.
Emma sighed in irritation as Angel swallowed loudly and continued, deciding to take a chance that Emma wouldn’t tell Shaw where Erik was. “I know where Erik is.”
Emma perked up immediately, her back straight and her eyes wide. “How did you find him?”
The atmosphere in the room shifted and Angel knew that she had Emma’s undivided attention. She would never really understand Emma’s motivations but she truly believed that the blonde female cared for Erik more than anyone else. However, her kindness towards Erik may not extend far enough to keep him out of Shaw’s reach.
“I thought to look in the same place we found him on Sunday,” explained Angel and Emma looked slightly confused before shaking her head and silently urging Angel to continue. “I bumped into a girl I knew and she told me that her brother was looking after Erik.”
“Wait,” said Emma as she rose for her chair and walked over to Angel. Angel had never been terribly intimidated by her but at that moment Emma was towering over the dark haired girl with an incredulous expression and narrowed eyes. “Erik is in the company of a stranger and hasn’t killed him yet?”
Angel shrank into herself and pressed up against the door as hard as she could. “Apparently he tried to kill Charles, the brother, but has been forgiven.”
“Forgiven?” hissed Emma and Angel cringed. Emma had taken a step backwards but was still in her personal space and showed no signs of letting up. Angel had never seen her so worked up before and she was acting extraordinarily strange. “What sort of person forgives their attempted murderer?”
Angel shook her head. “I’m not sure. He seems like a good guy though, perhaps a little too trusting.”
“Why are you telling me this Angel?” asked Emma and Angel could finally interpret the emotion in Emma’s voice. It was desperation and distress, though Angel did not know why Emma would be troubled by the circumstances.
“I thought that was what I’m supposed to do,” confessed Angel, frowning as Emma finally moved away and reversed back to her seat. She gripped the arms of the chair tightly before lowering herself down, sighing loudly. Angel pried herself off the door and watched Emma, who was staring down at her hands and seemed to be deliberating internally.
“I thought I could trust you,” added Angel and Emma’s head snapped up, her brow furrowed.
“You can Angel,” confirmed Emma softly. “But it seems that Charles isn’t the only one that trusts too easily. I have an obligation to relay this information back to Sebastian.”
“No you can’t!” cried Angel and Emma’s eyes widened in surprise as Angel thrust out her hand as if she was trying to physically stop her though Emma had made no move to stand. “Can we please just keep this to ourselves?” Angel had just made the conscious decision to actively go against Shaw’s orders in front of his right hand woman.
Emma scratched her neck and looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, “Okay, just this once I’ll withhold the whereabouts of Erik but we need to get him to return as soon as possible.” Angel nodded in agreement as Emma continued. “You’ll spend more time with this girl you know and her brother and try to convince Erik to come home. If that proves fruitless then I will insert myself into the situation. We need Erik to come back or Shaw will take his anger out on us.”
“Thank you,” breathed a relieved Angel. “I knew I could count on you.”
Emma shook her head and pursed her lips, unmoved by Angel. “Yeah well, let’s just make sure we don’t get ourselves killed.”
**
It took Charles the entirety of the week and a half that Erik was in hospital to persuade him to accompany Charles back to his apartment. Erik was stubborn and melancholy and made no attempt to hide his self-consternation regarding his place in life. That did not dissuade Charles from his mission to make sure that the other man was in a safe and secure home to mend his wounds further. With Raven gone and refusing to speak to him, rather reluctantly according to Moira, Charles found no reason for Erik not to move in with him. He was going to have to work on his sister and may even resort to begging if he had to; he missed having her around and felt like he was empty without her.
Despite having spent most of his free time in Erik’s hospital room, he ended up divulging most of his own personal information as Erik listened intently. The only thing he knew for sure about Erik was that his surname was Lehnsherr and he was thirty-four years old. Erik was extremely vigilant about what he said and made it quite clear that he was content to hear all about Charles’ life if it meant that he didn’t have to talk about himself. Though as Charles told Erik about how much he adored Raven and how he wished their childhood had been warmer (gentler, kinder) he found himself craving for more details on Erik, who evaded the majority of questions that fell from Charles’ lips when he couldn’t stop his curiosity.
Erik had remained silent for the first few days of his stay in Charles’ apartment, noting the absence of Raven and knowing that it was his own fault for her reaction to his presence. He constantly berated himself for his actions, wishing he could go back in time and keep his hands away from Charles’ neck. He was unusually calm, though he chalked it down to the pain medication and the fact that every time he moved his whole body creaked with pain. He was aware of the fact that he was leeching off Charles but the younger male insisted that he was doing nothing of the sort.
His escape from Shaw’s mansion had been a blessing and a curse, for he had almost died trying to find his way back to Charles. He knew that if he had just stayed at the mansion then Shaw’s doctor would have arrived and fixed him but he had put his own life on the line for a chance to say sorry. Azazel had looked apologetic with every punch and kick and Erik had taken the beating with as much valour as he could, just like every other time. He was certain that Shaw had been watching in the surveillance room, making sure that Azazel made good on the promise to not go easy on him. Janos had stood outside the door and listened to the sickening crunch of Erik’s cheek that had taken the full brunt of Azazel’s fist and his ribs that had cracked under the pressure of Azazel's boot. Apparently Janos had advised Shaw to halt the procedure but the boss had shaken his head and said, “Erik needs to learn a lesson.”
The serenity Erik felt when he was with Charles was coupled with a sense of rage that he had never been able to control before. Now though, he could easily flip the switch off and become a semblance of a normal human being that was sane and healthy. He was struggling with the newfound sense of self-control and still didn’t trust himself to be around anyone other than Charles and even then he didn’t know if he would relapse and try to kill Charles again. Charles seemed to trust and forgive him unreservedly and Erik honestly did not understand him. He certainly didn’t forgive himself for what he had done and yet the raw goodness in Charles’ heart seemed to almost override his logic.
They settled into a routine rather easily after the first week and it was apparent that their habits just nestled together perfectly until it was like they had lived together their whole lives. Erik remained indoors and watched people from his bedroom window, trying to gage whether or not he was stable enough to leave the apartment and if he did, what the chances of being caught would be. Charles would be awakened every morning by Erik cooking breakfast and making sure that there was a constant supply of coffee, hot and ready to drink. Erik was an early riser and was usually in the shower by six in the morning. Charles had come to rely so much on Erik’s presence to wake him that he had turned off his alarm.
Every day at eight o’clock, Charles would call Moira with the hope of speaking to Raven; Some days Raven would listen and hang up the phone without a word and other days Moira would tell Charles not to bother. The latter happened frequently enough for Charles to begin to feel desperate.
“Please Moira, let me talk to her,” pleaded Charles one morning. He and Erik were sitting at the kitchen table. Erik had a newspaper spread out in front of him and was pretending to be absorbed in an article but it was obvious that he was focusing on Charles’ conversation.
“I’m sorry Charles but she just doesn’t want to talk. This has gone on long enough, you need to get rid of Erik.” Moira sounded sympathetic but also irritated, having relayed many messages between the siblings. She was beginning to get sick of being in the middle.
Charles sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “If she would just come home and see him to hear him out then she would think differently.” Charles wasn’t able to comprehend why he had forgiven Erik so easily and he knew it was going to be ridiculously difficult to even push Raven in that direction. He simply didn’t have a good enough excuse other than, “he didn’t mean to hurt me,” and that definitely did not cut it.
“Charles,” said Moira softly. “She loves you, you know that but she just can’t justify what you are doing. Give her some more time to mull it over and then call back but for now just leave it be.” He heard Moira exhale loudly before the phone beeped, indicating that she had hung up. Charles placed the phone back in its cradle and ran his fingers through his hair.
Erik had dropped all pretence of reading the paper and was staring at Charles sadly, knowing that the problems in his life were all mainly due to him and his actions. Charles’ neck still bore faint bruises that were fading out to yellow. Every time Erik glanced at them he felt a sharp pang through his chest that reminded him of guilt, though he hadn’t felt that emotion in years. Charles was bringing out a side of him that Shaw had spent over two decades oppressing.
“I’m so sorry Charles,” admitted Erik and he meant it. He never wanted to hurt Charles the way he did, physically and emotionally. Everywhere he went he ended up breaking everything he touched and sometimes he thought that perhaps he was better off in Shaw’s hands with the older man making the hard decisions. It was easier to pass off the blame when he was being ordered.
Charles looked up at Erik from the spot on the table he had been staring at, his eyes glazed over and bloodshot. He gave Erik a small smile and said, “I know you are. All we need is for Raven to see that.”
Erik leaned over and clasped Charles’ forearm tightly, giving it a reassuring squeeze before letting it go. Charles’ heart leapt into his throat but he kept his face passive. His arm burned from where Erik had touched him and he flexed his fingers, trying to distract himself. He was getting used to Erik’s presence and found that if he was away from the other man for too long then he would actually start to miss him. They were around each other so much that it had begun to seem like they had known each other for years, instead of weeks. Erik usually kept his hands to himself and Charles wondered if it was because Erik was scared of startling him with sudden movement or if he wasn’t sure if he was going to hurt Charles again. Charles was certain that Erik wouldn’t lash out again and was absolutely not fearful of being touched by him either.
Their days consisted of much dithering around and contemplation. Charles didn’t have a stable job and his inheritance had set him up for the rest of his life. However, Erik seemed to pull money out of nowhere and Charles had no idea where he had acquired it from. Erik insisted on paying a portion of the bills and groceries despite Charles’ protests that it really wasn’t necessary. He was met with a dismissive wave of Erik’s hand a few hundred dollar bills stuffed unceremoniously into his wallet. Erik was still having trouble leaving the apartment and Charles was beginning to worry that his new roommate had some form of agoraphobia. It would explain his reaction on the night that they met and his unwillingness to leave the building but Charles had a sneaking suspicion that Erik had a different reason for his self-imposed exile.
Nightfall was always interesting to Charles, as Erik’s red eyes and dark circles pointed to the man not sleeping. Charles could sometimes hear Erik struggling in the spare bedroom, crying out and even sobbing. He chalked it down to nightmares and it was quite obvious that Erik suffered severely from them. On the rare occasion that Raven had spoken to him on the phone she had mentioned that if she was still living with him, she would not have been able to fall asleep for the fear of Erik killing her in her sleep. Charles had hung up on her and instantly regretted it. It had taken him another two weeks before she agreed to speak to him again and she was distant while doing so.
Their weekly trips to a restaurant were on edge, at best. Raven never attended them and Charles wasn’t naive enough to bring Erik, so he left him at home. The rest of his friends met him at various restaurants and pretended that everything was normal but it was clear that everyone was under some strain. Charles didn’t mention Erik at the meals and made sure that no one felt that they had to take sides between him and Raven. Sean tried his best to make light of the situation but not even his antics could break the tension. So, instead of their usual obnoxious chattering, the table was full of inane speeches of what everyone had been doing since they last saw each other.
One night, while they were all saying goodbye outside the restaurant, Alex and Sean came up to Charles. Darwin and Hank stopped their conversation and waited for the inevitable mention of Erik. Moira stood to the side, ready to pounce and squash any idea of accepting the controversial man.
“Charles, we were thinking that we could go to your apartment and meet Erik,” suggested Alex and Moira raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to argue. She was stopped by Alex raising his hand and giving her a pointed look.
“Are you sure you want to do that Alex?” questioned Charles, who was thoroughly taken aback by the proposal. “I thought none of you liked Erik.”
“Raven does have a reason to stay away,” piped up Sean and Moira pursed her lips in agreement. “But that doesn’t mean that we have to. Things are getting way too stressful. I want to make up my own mind about him.”
“I agree,” added Darwin. “I know what he did to you was unforgivable but you seem to perceive it in a different light. If you can accept him then why shouldn’t we all try?”
“Because he is a psychopath,” growled Moira and Charles had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. She had obviously been listening to Raven’s version of events. “He should be in prison, not in Charles’ apartment.”
“Have you even met him Moira?” asked Hank and Alex laughed as he realised that Moira had never even spoken to Erik. The only time she had ever seen him was at the restaurant all those weeks ago.
Moira spluttered for a moment as the boys all looked at her, waiting for an explanation. Charles knew that Moira was trying to stay loyal to Raven and that she was ultimately looking out for his safety but he couldn’t help but feel anger at how she was treating Erik. He was becoming increasingly protective of him and wanted his friends to see the man that he had forgiven, not the man that had tried to kill him.
“Fine,” huffed Moira and Sean snorted scathingly. “I haven’t met him but I don’t want to. I’m sorry but I just don’t want to associate with someone like him.”
“I understand,” said Charles as Moira crossed her arms and looked defeated. “But you can’t stop everyone else from meeting him. If they want to come then nothing is stopping them.”
Charles was astounded that his friends wanted to meet Erik (or in Alex and Sean’s case, see him when he wasn’t halfway to death) but he wasn’t completely sure that Erik would appreciate the company. He came to the conclusion that Erik was going to have to figure out a way to be around people and that this was the best way to do it. At least he would be in a controlled environment and Charles would be there to make sure he didn’t do anything rash.
Moira defiantly refused to join in and went back to her house to presumably tell Raven about the ensuing plan. Charles was hoping that the willingness of the boys to see Erik would help to shift Raven’s view to an extent but he knew that Moira would be pulling her in the other direction. Charles was going to have to worry about Raven later. Erik was going to be horrified by the unexpected guests and Charles was going to have to come up with a plan if anything went wrong.
**
Erik almost slammed the door in Charles’ face when he came home after his night out with his friends. There were four other males behind him; two of which he recognised. Charles gave him an apologetic look and shrugged before entering the apartment and placing a gentle hand on Erik’s arm.
“They wanted to meet you,” he said softly, leaning into Erik as he felt the other man tense. “Think of this as a step forward.” Erik agreed with Charles but that didn’t stop him from shaking. Charles tightened his grip on his arm and Erik forced his heart to slow down as it thumped against his ribs.
Alex took the initiative to step inside and hold out his hand for Erik to shake. Charles smiled at the younger man, grateful that he was trying to get along. Erik looked at the hand for some time before reaching out hesitantly and shaking it.
“You look familiar,” stated Erik after he let go of Alex’s hand. “Do I know you from somewhere?”
Alex chuckled and said, “Yeah, actually. I’ve helped save your life twice. Sean has too.” Alex gestured towards Sean who stepped forward and shook Erik’s hand as well. Erik was beginning to calm down and thanked both the men for their prior assistance. While he knew for sure that he had met Alex, there was something about him that struck him as memorable that didn’t add up to their previous meetings. It was almost as if Erik had encountered Alex’s mannerisms, though he barely remembered his face from before.
Hank introduced himself and shook Erik’s hand enthusiastically, while Darwin was more reserved but seemed to be sucked in by Erik’s outer charm. The fact that they all knew what Erik was capable of but still held an open mind made Erik’s heart swell. No one had ever treated him with respect other than out of fear but the people around him appeared to genuinely want to get to know him.
Charles was beside Erik for the entirety of their visit, usually with a hand on Erik’s arm, warm and comforting. Though Erik did feel his insides churning and his mind flickering dangerously close to certain emotions, he managed to keep himself in check. He found himself staring at Alex more than once, completely unaware of doing so but utterly transfixed. It felt as though he had known him before but he just couldn’t place it. When they all left, Charles confronted Erik, having obviously seen his blatant staring.
“You seemed quite enthralled by Alex.” Erik detected a hint of bitterness in Charles’ voice and noticed that his shoulders were squared and stiff. He was washing coffee mugs in the sink as Erik locked the front door and took off his shoes and placed them by the door. He meandered towards Charles in the kitchen area and walked up behind him. He gripped his tense shoulders, squeezing them reassuringly.
“He gave me a sense of déjà vu. I felt that I had known him in another life or something.”
Charles turned around and Erik had to take a step back, having been quite close to Charles. His hands were dripping with soap suds and water and a few drops splashed onto Erik’s socks and soaked through. Charles was blushing slightly and sighed, giving Erik a sheepish look. Erik grabbed a dry cloth from the bench top and began drying Charles’ sodden hands.
“Thank you for trusting me with your friends,” said Erik as Charles took the cloth from him and continued the action of removing the water. “I know it can’t be easy with me around and that I’m causing a lot of stress. Believe me, I wish it was different and I want to know how I can make things better.”
Charles shook his head and gave Erik a fond look before passing the cloth back to Erik and clasping his hand tightly. “I believe in you Erik and as long as you endeavour to get better than I am always going to be by your side, no matter what. You being here is enough. I know it looks like there’s been trouble with my friends but that’s between me and them and has nothing to do with you.”
Charles let go of Erik’s hand and went to move away but stopped when he felt his hands being grasped by Erik’s. He could feel his friend shaking but Erik was smiling, wide and uninhibited, something he rarely did. Before Charles could register what he was doing he brought Erik’s hands up to his lips and pressed a quick kiss to his knuckles. Erik’s smile faltered and his eyes grew soft.
Charles pulled his hands out of Erik’s grasp and said roughly, “I, ah... I think it’s time for bed.” He scratched the back of his neck and stepped away from Erik, who hadn’t moved, his hands still raised slightly. Charles began to move away and left Erik in the kitchen, not sure why he had thought it was a good idea to kiss Erik’s hand. He glanced over his shoulder as he opened his bedroom door and spotted Erik leaning against the counter, his hands gripping the edge of the bench top.
“Goodnight Erik,” said Charles as he closed his door. He didn’t hear an answer and barely slept a wink that night. He came to the painful realisation that he needed Raven more than ever and missed her guidance. He was going to try even harder to get her back in the morning.
**
Angel had kept in contact with Raven and had managed to infiltrate her life without rousing suspicion. She had even been invited to dinner at Moira’s house and had attended. With Raven living away from Charles and being angry with him it was hard for Angel to pry any sort of information from her. Moira was just as shut off as Raven, though she did let some things slip, as she saw Charles more than Raven did. So Angel knew that Erik wasn’t leaving the apartment and that he had settled into Charles’ life with ease. Though Angel had only known Erik for a year she was surprised that he had settled down to the point of omitting violence. When Emma heard about that she had looked concerned, knowing that when Erik bottled things up he sometimes took out his aggression on himself.
Though the purpose of her friendship with Raven was the recovery effort of Erik without the knowledge of Shaw, Angel found herself wistfully daydreaming about the day she could break free of Shaw’s grasp and make friends without ulterior motives. Emma had been giving Angel wads of cash to give to Erik when Charles was away from the apartment and Erik always slammed the door in her face during every one of her visits. With his denial and her wishful thinking, Angel was seconds away from running away herself. She deemed it impossible to convince Erik to return without the help of Shaw or Azazel and she didn’t want it to come to that. However, Erik’s successful escape had her thinking that perhaps she was capable of one too. The longer Erik stayed away, the more she wanted to be free and the more apprehensive Emma became. Azazel and Janos were still patrolling the area and Shaw’s acquaintances were all on high alert. Erik was being hunted for the first time in his life.
Two months into the covert operation Emma finally decided to intervene. Angel had been unsuccessful at receiving any sort of useable information from Raven and Shaw was beginning to get suspicious about the large sums of cash that Emma was removing from her bank account. She decided that a head on approach was the only way to go and that is how she found herself at Charles’ apartment, knocking on his front door.
Emma wasn’t sure why she was so surprised to find herself facing someone who wasn’t Erik when the door was opened. She guessed that the man in front of her was Charles and he stared at her with a confused expression that mirrored her own. Of course Erik wouldn’t be answering the door; Angel had a scheduled time when she dropped off the money and had made sure that Charles was always absent. Charles cleared his throat and shook his head slightly before addressing Emma.
“May I help you?”
Emma almost laughed at the sheer politeness of the stranger who had somehow stolen Erik’s heart and mind. Erik had never been subjected to kindness during his time at Shaw’s and was an insensitive man himself. The fact that Charles had taken him in was unexpected, for Erik normally turned off people who had any semblance of self respect.
“Ah yes,” said Emma awkwardly, trying to hide her smirk. “I’m looking for Erik. I was led to believe he lives here now.”
Charles’ eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth a few times. Emma had obviously taken him aback. Despite his previous courtesy he opted to not let Emma into the apartment and stood fully in front of the doorway, blocking any passage into the room beyond. Emma was sure that Erik would not have told Charles about his actual lifestyle but Charles had seemed to deduce that Erik had no real friends that were trustworthy and therefore he did not trust Emma.
“You’re correct, Erik does live here,” said Charles as Emma tried to peer over his shoulder. She caught a glimpse of a table and chairs but no sign of Erik. Charles made an effort to close the door as much as he could without squashing himself.
“May I see him?” asked Emma, masking her usual authoritative voice with a softer edge to it. Shaw had accused her of being too intimidating and that her confidence would only get her so far. Most people were wary when it came to Emma, as her demeanour oozed a hidden threat.
“Ah, I don’t think that’s wise.” Emma’s change of tone had thrown Charles off for a moment but he stood his ground. He showed no signs of inviting her in and frustration was bubbling up inside her. All she needed was to see Erik face to face and try to persuade him to come back home. He would listen to her, she was sure of it.
“Please, he needs to be with the people who love him,” said Emma sweetly and she heard Charles scoff under his breath. “I’ve been looking after him for years and I only want what’s best for him.” She meant what she said but knew that it was not that simple. If Erik returned with her there was no telling what Shaw would do to him.
“You only want what’s best for him?” laughed Charles in scepticism. “I’m sorry but are you in some sort of fantasy world or have you actually seen the state that Erik is in? And I’m willing to bet my life that you and the people that ‘love’ him are responsible.” Charles moved his foot to jam the door as he lifted his hands to ferociously form quotation marks for the word love.
Just like that, the urge to bring Erik home left Emma and all she could feel was the cold emptiness that reminded her of all the times she had abandoned Erik and left him to his fate. She was under Shaw’s iron grip as much as Erik was but she had so much more influence and never used it. Not once had she argued to save Erik from a beating, fearing that her insolence would earn herself a bruise. Looking after number one was always first on her list but at that moment she knew that Erik had finally found a way to be free. If she brought him home she would be spelling out his doom. Her younger years had seen unbridled violence from her own hands but she had mellowed out and was feeling the effects of disillusionment.
“You’re right,” whispered Emma, her voice breaking slightly. Charles had opened his mouth to say something harsh and immediately closed it, not expecting the sudden aberration. Emma took a deep breath in and continued. “He needs to stay with you. You’re the only one who truly cares enough to keep him safe.”
Emma retreated from the door without a word and began to walk back down the hallway, towards the elevator. Charles stuttered for a moment before calling after her retreating form, “Wait, who are you?” The only answer Emma could come up with made more sense to her than anything that had happened in the past two decades.
“I’m Emma and I thought I was the only friend of Erik’s. Turns out I was mistaken. Please, look after him the way I never could.”
**
Author’s Note: This chapter is the longest yet! I quite like it, which is saying something because I usually side-eye everything I write. The part with Raven and Angel was awkward to write and I’m not too happy with it but I can’t really figure out what else to do with it so I guess it’ll just have to keep on being awkward.
By the way, since I am only familiar with the movie!verse of X Men, I don’t really have a great grasp of the timeline. I can guess what age certain characters are but I’m sure I’m not accurate. I am currently planning another fic and would like to know how old Storm, Jean and Scott would be around five years after the beach scene, so 1967. I’m guessing they’d be in their late teens/early twenties by then but I’d appreciate it if someone could give me a more confident answer ‘cause I am really just plucking things out of the air. I really do wish I had grown up with the comics but the town I grew up in (and still live in... I’ll leave eventually) does not sell comics anywhere!