i can't believe that tomorrow i will be eighteen.

i texted mike saying "i'm driving by your neighborhood."
and he replied, "i'll sneak out to the entrance to see you."
i wish we could've.
i miss him.
& i'd love to see him.
oddly enough, i miss his millions of adorable freckles.
it's weird i know.
but you just get so use to things.

i worked today. 
mitch brett and mike came in to work out. 
mike and i talked for awhile.
we really needed to.
i was really nervous.
to the point where the butterflies were making me want to throw up.
i'm so pathetic sometimes.
gah.
it's life, it happens.
i cried a lot yesterday.
just to let out everything that has been built up.
i cried to Katie Lynn.
( Read more... )

winter rally was nothing short of absolutely amazing. i had so much fun, i met so many amazing people and i have so many memories in just three days. it was definitely worth it. i am so glad that i went. vacation was very low key, i enjoyed it though. i hate the dentist because he sucks just all of the time. he pretends to be nice and then starts ( Read more... )

tomorrow, this girl right here will be SO unbelievably psyched to be leaving for CT with my cult. :) although Leaders Club is not a cult. i just call it one for kicks. but yes, i will be away in CT from tomorrow at 3:45pm till Sunday at ?pm. you cannot reach me i will have no cellphone service, nor do i really care at this point. getting out of ( Read more... )

anything and everything i said in the entry before this i take back. i hope you're happy.

I guess i've just realized it all. It doesn't matter how many stupid letters i write to you...i just won't end up sending them. i'll just make a collection of them along with old pictures and little things we've written. i guess i've just come to terms with a few things when it comes down to you and i. screw what everyone else says, when they tell ( Read more... )

people should not get sick over vacation. it's not fair. my couch and lots of water are my best friends. pathetic.

the intention wasn't to hurt you, and i hope you realize that. before it was bitterness and anger. but it's not like that anymore. that entry was the spill canvas lyrics. and i'm sorry you took them in the wrong way. it wasn't meant to be like that. the point of that being that i didn't think you read this anymore, nor did i think you cared. more ( Read more... )

I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise

But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are

So tonight I'll sit and pick apart ( Read more... )