Discordant Hormoney. Epilogue!
This was delayed by the phenomenon known as "Doc forgot what was supposed to happen." Haha. Fun! -_- *groan*
But that's okay! Because I remembered. (Finally.) And now here it is. (No thanks to Bug being chatty and making me lose my train of thought. Yarg.)
Beta by alba_aulbath.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue }{ Chapter One }{ Chapter Two }{ Chapter Three }{ Chapter Four }{ Chapter Five }{ Chapter Six }{ Chapter Seven }{ Chapter Eight }{ Epilogue }
<-{ previous story: Midst Of Rough Earthliness } { next story: Harmonious Discourse }->
Epilogue~
They had stood, united, against the "Big Three," and been victorious. At least, as victorious as it was possible to be by throwing a long overdue temper tantrum.
It also didn't hurt that Ted had a chunk of Kryptonite carefully stored in the basement that he had been studying, that Booster was eager for an excuse to shoot Batman, and that Wonder Woman had enough sense to recognize when someone was tired, cranky, and desperately in need of some alone time.
Now they stood in their new apartment surrounded on all sides by boxes. Junior was on the roof saying goodbye to the Teen Titans.
"Nice of them to help us move," Booster remarked.
"Help? They practically did it themselves. And fast." Ted frowned thoughtfully. "Did we even do anything?"
"Supervised."
"Right."
"Dad! Dad!" Junior climbed in through a window and rushed toward them excitedly. "Can I go hang out with the Teen Titans? Kon's gonna be my weird birth big brother mentor thing and Bart has the entire Wendy the Werewolf Slayer series on DVD and Raven wanted to look at my magical signature because it's...dissipating but I'm not and Cyborg wants to look at Max and even though he's not a zombie anymore he's still pretty cool now and Skeets said something about taking Bug to Vegas on the way and Wonder Girl and Speedy said I was cute and Robin said he'd tell me about the time you fought the Condiment King--did you really fight a guy called the Condiment King?--and please can I go, dads? Pleasepleaseplease?"
"You promise you'll behave?" Ted asked. "And...mind your manners?" He shot Booster a bewildered look.
"And no touching strange buttons or levers," Booster added. "In fact, don't touch anything if you don't know what it does."
Junior nodded rapidly. "Promise!"
Ted and Booster stared at each other for a moment, trying to convey to each other all that they didn't know about parenting and hoping the other could fill in some of the gaps.
"Um...how long?" Ted finally asked.
Junior smiled tentatively. "Overnight?"
Ted and Booster stared at each other again. After a moment they shrugged.
"Okay," Booster said. "Do you need to take anything with y--"
"No it's good," Junior interrupted excitedly. "They said I could borrow something if I need to change clothes, and Beast Boy said they have some spare toothbrushes. Thanks, dad! You guys are the greatest!" He grinned and threw his arms around them.
They had only a moment to register that he was hugging them and hug back before he let go. Beaming at them once more, Junior ran back to the window and climbed out to crouch on the sill. "They said yes!" he shouted, then leaped out into what looked like thin air. "Woohoo!"
Ted took a step toward the window before stopping himself. "...Someone caught him," he said, trying to convince his pounding heart that there was no way the Teen Titans would allow his son to splat against the street below.
Nodding, Booster put an arm around him. "Of course they did." There was a moment of silence before he said, "So. ...Vegas."
"I don't want to think about it."
"You know--"
"Booster."
"If Bug is your daughter, and she and Skeets adopted Max--"
Ted shoved him. "Booster!"
"That makes you Max's grandfather." Booster smirked at him.
"I don't want to think about it!" Ted snapped. "And speaking of uncomfortable conversation topics, what was up with your 'The Batman' freak out?"
Booster ducked his head, color rising in his cheeks. "It's...just a Gotham superstition," he muttered. "Um.... The Batman comes in the night. He'll give you such a fright. If you've been bad he'll steal you away, and you'll never again see the light." He shrugged. "Just an old kids' rhyme. Something you tell to get kids to behave." He shifted uncomfortably and shrugged again.
Frowning, Ted put a hand on Booster's shoulder. "Hell of a legacy," he remarked.
Booster raised his head to smile wryly.
"Y'know, sometimes I forget you're from the future," Ted murmured thoughtfully. He shook his head. "Well, not really forget, but...I guess I forget what that means."
"That I grew up with fewer sexuality taboos?" Booster suggested, his smile turning into a leer at the corners.
"That's another thing, what the hell was up with you pawing at me every five minutes when we were kids?" Ted demanded, pointing at him.
Booster gaped at him. "Pawing at--Hey, I didn't see you complaining at the time!"
"Are you crazy?" Ted countered. "Why would I complain? I was a teenage boy and my hormones thought it was pretty neat that someone was actually touching me. You know I've got body image issues. When do you think that started?"
Booster wrapped his arms around him and sighed.
"I hated being a teenager the first time around," Ted muttered, leaning against him. "This time...." He shrugged, then brought his arms up and hugged Booster. "This time it was nice to have you there with me. ...Even if you did make me question my sexuality just as I was starting to get interested in sexuality. You corrupter of innocents, you."
Grinning, Booster nuzzled the side of Ted's head. "You were hot," he said. "Like you said: teenage boy, hormones, touching." He pressed a kiss to Ted's temple and let his hands wander over Ted's back. "Speaking of touching...."
"Actually, speaking of teenage boys and hormones," Ted interrupted, though he made no move to stop Booster. "We need to talk to Junior. Or at least find out if he's seen an after school special and figured things out."
Booster snorted. "We'll probably still need to talk to him. These days everything's abstinence this and wait for marriage that and sanctity of whatever. I gotta say it, Ted, your era is remarkably backwards in its thinking."
"No arguments here," Ted sighed. After a moment, he frowned thoughtfully. "Speaking of my era's thinking...what were you saying earlier about time travel? You were talking about some theory.... Our--Or...."
"Ouroboros Theory," Booster supplied.
Ted snapped his fingers. "That's it. And there was another one...."
Booster shook his head. "I remember now, that one was disproved a few years later."
"So...tell me what you remember about it and tell me how it was disproved."
Frowning, Booster looked down at him. "Why?"
Ted sighed. "Because I want to know? It was interesting. Actually, it was one of the most stimulating conversations I've ever had with you."
"Stimulat--Are you getting off on that?"
"No!"
"You are!" Booster laughed. "You so are! All these years and all I had to do was talk smart to get you hot and bothered."
Ted reached down and pinched Booster's ass.
Yelping, Booster held Ted tighter so he couldn't get away. "Is that why you were so impressed with my theory that we weren't really in hell, that one time?"
Ted opened his mouth to say something scathing, hoping whatever that scathing thing was would come to him soon, then stopped as he thought back to the Superbuddies in Hell incident. The warm fuzzy feeling he had felt at hearing his best friend use his brain was suddenly disturbingly similar to the warm fuzzy feelings he had been experiencing since his return from the dead.
"Ted?" Booster asked, concerned at how still and quiet Ted had gone.
Ted groaned.
Booster grinned. "Really? You were--Back then?"
Ted considered pinching Booster again, but thought better of it. "Just...shut up and talk smart to me."
"Isn't that a contradiction--"
Ted leaned up and nipped Booster's ear. Whatever Booster had been going to say became a whimper. "Make with the smarts, future boy."
"Um...okay, the ouroboros is an ancient symbol depicting a snake or dragon eating its own tail, forming a circle. It symbolizes cycles, including the eternal return. The eternal return is a basic theory that time is not infinite, but is occupied by the finite set of actions possible in the universe, with all of these actions and events recurring indefinitely, again a-and again and--and--That is really distracting, Ted."
Ted removed his mouth from Booster's neck.
"I didn't say to stop!" Booster protested.
"You stopped," Ted countered childishly.
Booster whimpered again and closed his eyes. "Okay...Eternal return, recurring events.... Um...part of the theory is that the universe has no final state but cycles through the same states and do that again, please, time is perceived as circular. This relates to the Grandfather Paradox because--because.... Something about predetermination and the advent of temporal existence. But--Oh! But predetermination's been disproved by Kid Flash, hasn't it? The events that led to his birth have changed and-and-and-AND! Ted. Ear! Oh. Okay. So that means Novikov's self-consistency principle is bunk, unless it's some weird speedster thing, which I wouldn't put past them. Can we please get more naked, Ted?"
Ted hesitated and suddenly found Booster's lips on his, tongue swiping against his mouth coaxingly. When Ted finally opened his mouth, Booster shifted, pressing against his body and licking his teeth.
After a few moments, during which Ted managed to get his hands in Booster's pants and on his ass, they finally came up for air. "Booster," Ted panted.
"Hm?" Booster muttered, mouthing kisses against his jaw.
"Wash the dye out of your hair, you look ridiculous."
Booster paused, then straightened to stare at him, brow furrowing.
"No sex till you do," Ted continued.
"What?!"
"Have to draw the line somewhere," he murmured, staring at Booster's mouth with an intensity he didn't seem to be aware of.
"Well that one's practically Bezier!" Booster snarked.
Ted closed his eyes and groaned softly.
Staring at him for a moment, Booster shook his head and smiled. "Brain slut," he said affectionately, hugging him.
Ted snorted. "It'll be good for you," he said. "Give you a reason to exercise your poor neglected brain."
"Who says it needs exercise?" Booster countered. "Maybe I think deep thoughts all day, I just don't tell anyone."
"That is...oh." Ted sounded surprised, then shook his head. "No sex till you're blond."
"I'm blond everywhere else...."
"I've made up my mind," Ted said firmly.
Booster chuckled. "Love you, Ted."
There was a tangible silence and Booster pulled back a little to look at him. Ted smiled wryly and reached up to cup his cheek. "One step at a time, Booster."
Booster smiled back and wrapped himself around the man.
One step at a time.
-----
[Aaand I'm spent. ;) Funny how something I started as a joke managed to snowball into this huge...Thing. How'd that happen?
Anyway, have no fear, true believers. This isn't it for the Mullet-verse! Fates preserve me, I have another story I'm working out the plot for. And since I didn't tell you what I was plotting in the last Epilogue, I'm not going to this time. *grin* I'll just say that at least one person asked for it and leave it at that.
In the mean time, I'll be continuing to chip away at my Big Damn fanfic100 List. Possibly with occasional Mullet-verse one-shots.
So thanks, everyone, for your comments, which have damn near overwhelmed me, and somehow just about gotten my self esteem up to fighting strength. ;) Hope you had as much fun with this run as I did.]
But that's okay! Because I remembered. (Finally.) And now here it is. (No thanks to Bug being chatty and making me lose my train of thought. Yarg.)
Beta by alba_aulbath.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue }{ Chapter One }{ Chapter Two }{ Chapter Three }{ Chapter Four }{ Chapter Five }{ Chapter Six }{ Chapter Seven }{ Chapter Eight }{ Epilogue }
<-{ previous story: Midst Of Rough Earthliness } { next story: Harmonious Discourse }->
Epilogue~
They had stood, united, against the "Big Three," and been victorious. At least, as victorious as it was possible to be by throwing a long overdue temper tantrum.
It also didn't hurt that Ted had a chunk of Kryptonite carefully stored in the basement that he had been studying, that Booster was eager for an excuse to shoot Batman, and that Wonder Woman had enough sense to recognize when someone was tired, cranky, and desperately in need of some alone time.
Now they stood in their new apartment surrounded on all sides by boxes. Junior was on the roof saying goodbye to the Teen Titans.
"Nice of them to help us move," Booster remarked.
"Help? They practically did it themselves. And fast." Ted frowned thoughtfully. "Did we even do anything?"
"Supervised."
"Right."
"Dad! Dad!" Junior climbed in through a window and rushed toward them excitedly. "Can I go hang out with the Teen Titans? Kon's gonna be my weird birth big brother mentor thing and Bart has the entire Wendy the Werewolf Slayer series on DVD and Raven wanted to look at my magical signature because it's...dissipating but I'm not and Cyborg wants to look at Max and even though he's not a zombie anymore he's still pretty cool now and Skeets said something about taking Bug to Vegas on the way and Wonder Girl and Speedy said I was cute and Robin said he'd tell me about the time you fought the Condiment King--did you really fight a guy called the Condiment King?--and please can I go, dads? Pleasepleaseplease?"
"You promise you'll behave?" Ted asked. "And...mind your manners?" He shot Booster a bewildered look.
"And no touching strange buttons or levers," Booster added. "In fact, don't touch anything if you don't know what it does."
Junior nodded rapidly. "Promise!"
Ted and Booster stared at each other for a moment, trying to convey to each other all that they didn't know about parenting and hoping the other could fill in some of the gaps.
"Um...how long?" Ted finally asked.
Junior smiled tentatively. "Overnight?"
Ted and Booster stared at each other again. After a moment they shrugged.
"Okay," Booster said. "Do you need to take anything with y--"
"No it's good," Junior interrupted excitedly. "They said I could borrow something if I need to change clothes, and Beast Boy said they have some spare toothbrushes. Thanks, dad! You guys are the greatest!" He grinned and threw his arms around them.
They had only a moment to register that he was hugging them and hug back before he let go. Beaming at them once more, Junior ran back to the window and climbed out to crouch on the sill. "They said yes!" he shouted, then leaped out into what looked like thin air. "Woohoo!"
Ted took a step toward the window before stopping himself. "...Someone caught him," he said, trying to convince his pounding heart that there was no way the Teen Titans would allow his son to splat against the street below.
Nodding, Booster put an arm around him. "Of course they did." There was a moment of silence before he said, "So. ...Vegas."
"I don't want to think about it."
"You know--"
"Booster."
"If Bug is your daughter, and she and Skeets adopted Max--"
Ted shoved him. "Booster!"
"That makes you Max's grandfather." Booster smirked at him.
"I don't want to think about it!" Ted snapped. "And speaking of uncomfortable conversation topics, what was up with your 'The Batman' freak out?"
Booster ducked his head, color rising in his cheeks. "It's...just a Gotham superstition," he muttered. "Um.... The Batman comes in the night. He'll give you such a fright. If you've been bad he'll steal you away, and you'll never again see the light." He shrugged. "Just an old kids' rhyme. Something you tell to get kids to behave." He shifted uncomfortably and shrugged again.
Frowning, Ted put a hand on Booster's shoulder. "Hell of a legacy," he remarked.
Booster raised his head to smile wryly.
"Y'know, sometimes I forget you're from the future," Ted murmured thoughtfully. He shook his head. "Well, not really forget, but...I guess I forget what that means."
"That I grew up with fewer sexuality taboos?" Booster suggested, his smile turning into a leer at the corners.
"That's another thing, what the hell was up with you pawing at me every five minutes when we were kids?" Ted demanded, pointing at him.
Booster gaped at him. "Pawing at--Hey, I didn't see you complaining at the time!"
"Are you crazy?" Ted countered. "Why would I complain? I was a teenage boy and my hormones thought it was pretty neat that someone was actually touching me. You know I've got body image issues. When do you think that started?"
Booster wrapped his arms around him and sighed.
"I hated being a teenager the first time around," Ted muttered, leaning against him. "This time...." He shrugged, then brought his arms up and hugged Booster. "This time it was nice to have you there with me. ...Even if you did make me question my sexuality just as I was starting to get interested in sexuality. You corrupter of innocents, you."
Grinning, Booster nuzzled the side of Ted's head. "You were hot," he said. "Like you said: teenage boy, hormones, touching." He pressed a kiss to Ted's temple and let his hands wander over Ted's back. "Speaking of touching...."
"Actually, speaking of teenage boys and hormones," Ted interrupted, though he made no move to stop Booster. "We need to talk to Junior. Or at least find out if he's seen an after school special and figured things out."
Booster snorted. "We'll probably still need to talk to him. These days everything's abstinence this and wait for marriage that and sanctity of whatever. I gotta say it, Ted, your era is remarkably backwards in its thinking."
"No arguments here," Ted sighed. After a moment, he frowned thoughtfully. "Speaking of my era's thinking...what were you saying earlier about time travel? You were talking about some theory.... Our--Or...."
"Ouroboros Theory," Booster supplied.
Ted snapped his fingers. "That's it. And there was another one...."
Booster shook his head. "I remember now, that one was disproved a few years later."
"So...tell me what you remember about it and tell me how it was disproved."
Frowning, Booster looked down at him. "Why?"
Ted sighed. "Because I want to know? It was interesting. Actually, it was one of the most stimulating conversations I've ever had with you."
"Stimulat--Are you getting off on that?"
"No!"
"You are!" Booster laughed. "You so are! All these years and all I had to do was talk smart to get you hot and bothered."
Ted reached down and pinched Booster's ass.
Yelping, Booster held Ted tighter so he couldn't get away. "Is that why you were so impressed with my theory that we weren't really in hell, that one time?"
Ted opened his mouth to say something scathing, hoping whatever that scathing thing was would come to him soon, then stopped as he thought back to the Superbuddies in Hell incident. The warm fuzzy feeling he had felt at hearing his best friend use his brain was suddenly disturbingly similar to the warm fuzzy feelings he had been experiencing since his return from the dead.
"Ted?" Booster asked, concerned at how still and quiet Ted had gone.
Ted groaned.
Booster grinned. "Really? You were--Back then?"
Ted considered pinching Booster again, but thought better of it. "Just...shut up and talk smart to me."
"Isn't that a contradiction--"
Ted leaned up and nipped Booster's ear. Whatever Booster had been going to say became a whimper. "Make with the smarts, future boy."
"Um...okay, the ouroboros is an ancient symbol depicting a snake or dragon eating its own tail, forming a circle. It symbolizes cycles, including the eternal return. The eternal return is a basic theory that time is not infinite, but is occupied by the finite set of actions possible in the universe, with all of these actions and events recurring indefinitely, again a-and again and--and--That is really distracting, Ted."
Ted removed his mouth from Booster's neck.
"I didn't say to stop!" Booster protested.
"You stopped," Ted countered childishly.
Booster whimpered again and closed his eyes. "Okay...Eternal return, recurring events.... Um...part of the theory is that the universe has no final state but cycles through the same states and do that again, please, time is perceived as circular. This relates to the Grandfather Paradox because--because.... Something about predetermination and the advent of temporal existence. But--Oh! But predetermination's been disproved by Kid Flash, hasn't it? The events that led to his birth have changed and-and-and-AND! Ted. Ear! Oh. Okay. So that means Novikov's self-consistency principle is bunk, unless it's some weird speedster thing, which I wouldn't put past them. Can we please get more naked, Ted?"
Ted hesitated and suddenly found Booster's lips on his, tongue swiping against his mouth coaxingly. When Ted finally opened his mouth, Booster shifted, pressing against his body and licking his teeth.
After a few moments, during which Ted managed to get his hands in Booster's pants and on his ass, they finally came up for air. "Booster," Ted panted.
"Hm?" Booster muttered, mouthing kisses against his jaw.
"Wash the dye out of your hair, you look ridiculous."
Booster paused, then straightened to stare at him, brow furrowing.
"No sex till you do," Ted continued.
"What?!"
"Have to draw the line somewhere," he murmured, staring at Booster's mouth with an intensity he didn't seem to be aware of.
"Well that one's practically Bezier!" Booster snarked.
Ted closed his eyes and groaned softly.
Staring at him for a moment, Booster shook his head and smiled. "Brain slut," he said affectionately, hugging him.
Ted snorted. "It'll be good for you," he said. "Give you a reason to exercise your poor neglected brain."
"Who says it needs exercise?" Booster countered. "Maybe I think deep thoughts all day, I just don't tell anyone."
"That is...oh." Ted sounded surprised, then shook his head. "No sex till you're blond."
"I'm blond everywhere else...."
"I've made up my mind," Ted said firmly.
Booster chuckled. "Love you, Ted."
There was a tangible silence and Booster pulled back a little to look at him. Ted smiled wryly and reached up to cup his cheek. "One step at a time, Booster."
Booster smiled back and wrapped himself around the man.
One step at a time.
-----
[Aaand I'm spent. ;) Funny how something I started as a joke managed to snowball into this huge...Thing. How'd that happen?
Anyway, have no fear, true believers. This isn't it for the Mullet-verse! Fates preserve me, I have another story I'm working out the plot for. And since I didn't tell you what I was plotting in the last Epilogue, I'm not going to this time. *grin* I'll just say that at least one person asked for it and leave it at that.
In the mean time, I'll be continuing to chip away at my Big Damn fanfic100 List. Possibly with occasional Mullet-verse one-shots.
So thanks, everyone, for your comments, which have damn near overwhelmed me, and somehow just about gotten my self esteem up to fighting strength. ;) Hope you had as much fun with this run as I did.]