Daniel Charleton University, Part 4
Title: Daniel Charleton University
Summary: AU. No superpowers, no saving the world from alien invasion. Just a college, students, and one young man's attempts to win his clueless classmate's affections. In this chapter, Michael and Ted talk and try to repair their friendship.
Rating: PG-13 for some language
Word count: 3129
A/N: Only a month between posting this time! My muse has been poking me a lot, so hopefully I'll continue to write quickly.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Part 4
Even with John’s encouragement and the realization that everyone else had known Ted was gay and accepted it without any difficulty, it took Michael three days to be ready to talk with his friend again. He hid in his room all weekend, skipped meals or ate earlier or later than their usual meeting time, and didn’t log on to the computer in case Ted was online or had sent an email. It wasn’t until Monday morning, trudging to Calculus (and woefully unprepared for the test he’d planned to study for with Ted’s help), that Michael finally realized that no matter how upset and disturbed he was about learning Ted was gay and had been flirting with him, it was nowhere near how miserable he felt having no contact with Ted. Losing Ted’s friendship was unthinkable.
He spent the rest of the morning mentally rehearsing what to say to Ted, trying to decide between the manly, no words needed approach or outright groveling. Groveling seemed the better bet, he thought. If nothing else, he owed Ted an apology for his reaction. And then they had to establish some ground rules. Michael wasn’t certain if he should stick with his immediate reaction of “no flirting, no touching, no ogling” or his more honest wish that nothing would change. He wanted Ted to put his arm around his shoulders and ruffle his hair. He wanted to see Ted smile when he saw Michael, that smile that no one else could cause. He wanted to sit too close on the couch and watch bad movies. But most of all, he wanted all of that to mean nothing more than platonic friendship.
Egyptian Archeology was after lunch, and Michael had never felt so nervous going to his favorite class before, unable to eat at all and pacing in front of the dining hall in hopes of seeing Ted before class. What if Ted was really mad? What if he had only pretended to be Michael’s friend in order to seduce him, and now that he knew that wouldn’t happen, he wanted nothing more to do with Mike? The plot of a dozen teen flicks and sitcoms ran through his head, only he was cast as the nerdy girl in need of a makeover, and there was no happy ending, just Michael left alone as his so-called friends abandoned him and went in search of a new victim.
You’re being stupid, he told himself. Ted and the gang wouldn’t do that. John and Babs would kick their butts if they tried. They’re nice, they’re your friends.
But they were Ted’s friends first, and if he lost Ted, he’d lose them all. They would take his side; of course they would. This whole time, they thought he and Ted were practically dating, and now they’d practically broken up.
Who needs them anyway, he thought angrily. I’ve made it this long without any friends, I can go back to how I was before. I still have Scott and Guy. Guy will take my side. Guy would approve.
Oh god, he was basing his decisions on what Guy would do. He’d gone insane. He should cut class and go check himself into the nearest mental hospital. He could spend the rest of his life finger painting and talking to potted plants, and no one would wonder whether or not he was gay, because they’d be too busy wondering if he was the quiet crazy, or the quiet-with-bouts-of-violence crazy. Ted would get over him and find someone sane and gay, and everyone but Michael would live happily ever after.
He needed to talk to Ted. Apologize and explain and beg until Ted forgave him or ordered him out of his life. Anything was better than thinking.
It was nearly time for class, and Michael hurried across campus, wanting to find Ted and talk to him before he lost his nerve. He was flushed and out of breath when he finally arrived at the classroom and headed to his usual seat.
The seat next to it was empty.
Maybe Ted was late? Michael scanned the room, and felt his heart turn to stone and plummet into his stomach, sending sloshing, churning bile burning up his throat. Ted was seated two rows ahead and to the right. And there were no empty seats near him.
As Dr. Garret started class, Michael wondered if “I have to go slit my wrists” was a valid excuse for leaving class early.
~~~~
The class dragged, Michael unable to focus on Dr. Garret’s voice. Ted’s head was bent over his desk as he took notes, and Michael couldn’t see his face. Was he angry or upset? He was quieter than usual, not joining in the discussion or even turning his head to see who was talking, but maybe that just meant he hadn’t had his coffee this morning. Michael fiddled with his pen, clicking it insistently until the girl next to him reached over and took it away, glaring at him. After that, he slumped in his seat, sparing a moment from his worry to be grateful that Dr. Garret wasn’t the type to call on students who were obviously too wrapped up in their own problems to pay attention in class.
When the class finally let out, Michael tossed his books in his bag and stood, watching Ted, who was dawdling, slowly putting things away. The room was empty except for the two of them and a student talking to Dr. Garret before Ted finally stood up. He looked surprised to see Michael standing by the door waiting for him. Michael smiled, hoping he didn’t look as sick as he felt.
Ted walked over slowly and stopped a few feet away from Michael, looking at a spot over Michael‘s shoulder. “Hey.”
“I’m sorry,” Michael blurted, his many prepared speeches abandoning him. “I overreacted, and I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay. I mean, it matters to you, but I don’t care. Well, obviously I care, otherwise I wouldn’t have overreacted, but that was…I’m sorry,” he finished, figuring that not talking anymore was probably the best course of action.
Ted blinked. “So, we’re okay then?”
The smile felt more real this time around. “Yeah. We’re okay. Just…I’m not gay, okay?”
“Some of my best friends are straight,” Ted said. “It’s weird and gross, but heterosexuals are people too and it’s wrong to judge them based on their perversions.”
Michael almost laughed at that. “Yeah, um, I mean, well, everyone says that you’ve been hitting on me and I thought, I mean you aren’t pretending to be my friend just to seduce me, right?”
Ted ran his fingers through his hair. “This isn’t going to be fixed with an apology and a slap on the back, is it?” Michael shook his head, looking at the ground, and Ted sighed. “Talk tonight? We can kick Ralph out and order pizza.”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Michael said. “Meet you in your room around 6?”
Ted nodded. “I gotta get to class,” he said apologetically.
“Yeah, me too. See ya’, Ted.”
It wasn’t fixed, Michael thought on his way to his Underwater Archeology class, but at least it was better.
~~~~
Ralph was gone by the time Michael arrived at Ted’s room, probably eating dinner in the hall with the others, and Michael wished he hadn’t said anything about Ted’s supposed flirting, that he and Ted were sitting with their group of friends with plenty of people to act like a buffer and fill awkward silences.
Ted had waited for Michael before ordering the pizza, and the two tried for their usual teasing argument about toppings (Michael liked Hawaiian but Ted thought fruit had no business on a pizza, and Michael thought olives and mushrooms were disgusting and had no business existing at all), but their hearts weren’t in it. Once the pizza was ordered, they sat together on the couch, not looking at each other and each trying to figure out what to say.
“You’re very attractive,” Ted finally said, and winced as Michael flushed and flinched away. Gamely, Ted plowed on. “I saw you around campus and thought you were handsome, so when I saw you in the library I took a chance. So yeah, I started talking to you because I wanted to date you, but I kept talking to you because I like you. You’re my friend. I wouldn’t have spent all this time with you if I didn’t genuinely like you. I’m glad I was attracted to you, because otherwise I might never have talked to you and then I wouldn’t have made the best friend I ever had.” He took a deep breath. “Okay?”
“So my not being gay won’t make any difference?” Michael asked timidly.
“’Course not. Does my being gay make a difference?”
Michael shook his head. “I was just surprised, is all. And,” he rubbed the back of his neck, still staring at the floor, “it kind of bothered me that everyone knew but me, and I only found out because Guy told me. But I talked to John, and he said no one told me because they didn‘t know I didn‘t know, so I guess it doesn‘t really count.”
“Yeah, well,” Ted picked up a pencil off the floor and twirled it between his fingers, “I might have suspected you didn’t know. I never mentioned it on purpose. I was trying to feel you out, figure out if you were gay. I wanted to know for sure before I told you. I was afraid if I just told you you’d get scared off. I had trouble figuring out which way you swung, though, so I just kept quiet.”
Michael sighed. “Well, everyone else just assumed I was gay, so I guess not being able to figure it out is a step up.” He thought for a few moments. “Wait, you never said because you wanted to make sure I was gay first? What happened to wanting to be my friend?”
“I never said I stopped being attracted to you,” Ted muttered. “That’s why I never said anything. I wanted to know if you were gay, and then I’d ask you out. And if it turned out you aren’t gay--which you aren’t, and I accept that--we’d just be friends. I’m happy being your friend. And maybe I was a little scared that we would date and it wouldn’t work, and then we wouldn’t be friends anymore either. And I liked that I could touch you and hug you, and you never got weirded out the way most straight guys do, and you didn’t get all handsy and jokingly flirty the way all my gay friends did in high school.”
The two sat there in silence, Ted watching himself play with the pencil as if the hands didn’t belong to him, and Michael staring out the window. Finally, Michael spoke.
“So everyone thinks I’m gay except you, and you can’t figure it out one way or the other. Do I give out a vibe or something?”
Ted shook his head. “No vibe. But no hetero-vibe either. You don’t flirt with anyone, or watch pretty girls, or talk about sex. I guess, since everyone knows I’m gay and we hang out so much, they decided you were too. Gay by association.”
“I told you, I’m not interested in sex with anyone,” Michael snapped.
“And I didn’t push it!” Ted said. “I didn’t point out cute guys or girls, and I didn’t ask you out or try to hook you up with anyone. You think this has been easy for me? Watching you, wanting to kiss you, and you saying sex was overrated! But at least, I told myself, we‘re friends. Maybe he‘s right, and a best friend is better than all the mess that comes with a romantic relationship. And then you find out I‘m gay and completely flip out, and it hurts worse than any break-up ever!”
Michael stood, pacing across the floor and gesturing. “Oh, poor Ted, how you’ve suffered. It must have been absolute torture for you, laughing at me behind my back, calling me your best friend while waiting for the chance to hook up with me, acting like you like me, when really you aren’t any different from anyone else! It’s new though, I’ll admit that. The football team wanted me for my brains, the rest of the school liked me because I played football, but you’re the first person to like me for my looks!”
Ted jumped to his feet and invaded Michael‘s personal space. “I don’t like you for your looks, you self-pitying jerk! I like you! And I never laughed at you, and if all I’d wanted was to hook up with you, I’d have said something ages ago! I’m not so desperate for a boyfriend that I have to spend months building a friendship first! I could get a date right now if I wanted!”
“Oh yeah! You haven’t had a date since I met you. I thought it was because you wanted to focus on school, but that’s not it at all, is it? Tell me, was it because you were really that determined, or because you couldn’t get anyone else so you settled for me?”
“Oh that’s good. First I’m a shallow, scheming bastard who’s been trying to seduce you from day one, and now I’m a desperate troll who picked you because there was no one else I stood a chance with? Well, I’ve got news for you, I haven’t been on a date because I’d rather be with you. I’d rather sit on the couch watching movies and chatting about nothing, without even touching, then have sex with the most gorgeous guy in the world. And even knowing I’ll never have a chance with you, I’d rather be with you than with anyone else. So you can take your persecution complex, and your inferiority complex, and your homophobia, and you can shove it.”
Michael blinked. “Really? You mean it?”
“Shove it where the sun don’t shine, because I’m sick of it,” Ted snarled, turning away.
Michael put a hand on Ted’s shoulder. “Ted. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, heard that before.”
“I mean it. Meant it then too.” Michael let his hand drop. “I don’t know how to deal with any of this. The only other people who were ever attracted to me were a couple of girls in high school, and I don’t think they ever saw past the football jersey.” He cringed. “That would be the inferiority complex again, huh?”
Ted nodded, turning back to face Michael. “I’m sorry too. I’ve been really stressed all weekend. I’d pretty much resigned myself to admiring you from afar, because gay or not, you said you didn’t want a relationship and I wasn’t going to push it, but then you got upset about me being gay, and I realized I was actually planning on admiring you from nearby, and afar would suck a lot. I want to be your friend, Mike. I don’t care if it never goes beyond that, but please don’t let this come between us.” He stuck out his hand. “Friends?”
Michael gripped his hand. “Yeah. You’re my best friend too, Ted. Just spending time with you makes my whole day better. I’m sorry I don’t like you that way. I never--”
Ted waved him off and pulled Michael into a hug, brief and complete with manly back-slapping. “We’re cool, shut up.”
Michael grinned. “So, movie night?”
“Pick something out,” Ted said, indicating the DVDs stacked by the TV. “Pizza should be here soon.”
Michael felt like his world had just snapped back into place, and cheerfully scanned the movie titles. Everything was how it should be again.
~~~~
It was late. The movie and pizza were long finished, and Michael and Ted had talked for hours. The conversation was perhaps a little desperate, both trying to return their friendship to how it had been before and carefully avoiding any topics that might cause another fight, but overall Ted felt the evening had gone well. Michael stayed until they were both yawning and rubbing their eyes, finally admitting that they needed sleep. Ted watched him go, and as soon as the door closed behind him, Ted pitched forward on the couch, face smushed against a cushion. Then he raised his head a little and dropped it back down a few times.
“What are you doing?”
Ted turned his head to see Ralph standing in front of him. “Where have you been all night?”
“Studying in the lobby. Thought I’d let you two work things out. Mike looked pretty happy leaving, so I figured it had gone well, but now I see you trying to-what are you trying to do? The couch is too soft to pound you head against, and you aren’t keeping your face down long enough to suffocate.”
“I’m too tired to find a hard, flat surface,” Ted said. “Couch cushions it is.”
“Didn’t it go well?”
“It went perfect. Everything is back how it was before.” He smacked the cushion with his forehead a few more times before sitting up. “I gave him the ‘just friends’ talk.”
Ralph sat next to him and put an arm around Ted’s shoulders. “That’s rough. Hearing it is bad enough, but saying it to someone you love?” Ralph shook his head. “No wonder you’re attempting physical harm through upholstery.”
“The worst part is, it was all true. I would rather be his friend than lose him completely. I’d just rather be his boyfriend than his friend. I don’t think he got that part. I think he thinks it’s all physical attraction.” Ted slumped over, head in his hands. “What am I going to do?”
“Be his friend,” Ralph answered. “Be what he wants and needs, and accept that he doesn’t want more, and move on. There are other fish in the sea, and all that.”
Ted glared at him. “If Sue was a lesbian, and I mean that in the ‘not attracted to men, not about to put on a sex show for men, and certainly not going to invite a man to a threesome’ way, and didn’t want anything more than friendship from you, would you accept it and move on?”
Ralph sighed and shook his head. “I’d probably defenestrate myself.”
Ted leaned back against the couch. “No point. We’re only on the second floor, and broken legs don’t cure broken hearts.”
Ralph patted him on the shoulder. “Sleep. You can be miserable tomorrow.”
“You suck at comforting.”
Ralph stood and walked over to his bed, rummaging through the pile of blankets for his pajamas. “Good night, Ted.”
Ted sighed again. “Good night, Ralph.”
TBC
Next chapter: Ted tries to get over Michael. Sue tries to play matchmaker. The author tries to introduce a character who was never intended to show up at all without spending an inordinate amount of time researching said character and his interests, bringing in all his friends and acquaintances who were also not intended to show up, developing a detailed backstory, and giving him his own subplot. At least one of these endeavors will have some small measure of success. Maybe.
Part 5
Summary: AU. No superpowers, no saving the world from alien invasion. Just a college, students, and one young man's attempts to win his clueless classmate's affections. In this chapter, Michael and Ted talk and try to repair their friendship.
Rating: PG-13 for some language
Word count: 3129
A/N: Only a month between posting this time! My muse has been poking me a lot, so hopefully I'll continue to write quickly.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Part 4
Even with John’s encouragement and the realization that everyone else had known Ted was gay and accepted it without any difficulty, it took Michael three days to be ready to talk with his friend again. He hid in his room all weekend, skipped meals or ate earlier or later than their usual meeting time, and didn’t log on to the computer in case Ted was online or had sent an email. It wasn’t until Monday morning, trudging to Calculus (and woefully unprepared for the test he’d planned to study for with Ted’s help), that Michael finally realized that no matter how upset and disturbed he was about learning Ted was gay and had been flirting with him, it was nowhere near how miserable he felt having no contact with Ted. Losing Ted’s friendship was unthinkable.
He spent the rest of the morning mentally rehearsing what to say to Ted, trying to decide between the manly, no words needed approach or outright groveling. Groveling seemed the better bet, he thought. If nothing else, he owed Ted an apology for his reaction. And then they had to establish some ground rules. Michael wasn’t certain if he should stick with his immediate reaction of “no flirting, no touching, no ogling” or his more honest wish that nothing would change. He wanted Ted to put his arm around his shoulders and ruffle his hair. He wanted to see Ted smile when he saw Michael, that smile that no one else could cause. He wanted to sit too close on the couch and watch bad movies. But most of all, he wanted all of that to mean nothing more than platonic friendship.
Egyptian Archeology was after lunch, and Michael had never felt so nervous going to his favorite class before, unable to eat at all and pacing in front of the dining hall in hopes of seeing Ted before class. What if Ted was really mad? What if he had only pretended to be Michael’s friend in order to seduce him, and now that he knew that wouldn’t happen, he wanted nothing more to do with Mike? The plot of a dozen teen flicks and sitcoms ran through his head, only he was cast as the nerdy girl in need of a makeover, and there was no happy ending, just Michael left alone as his so-called friends abandoned him and went in search of a new victim.
You’re being stupid, he told himself. Ted and the gang wouldn’t do that. John and Babs would kick their butts if they tried. They’re nice, they’re your friends.
But they were Ted’s friends first, and if he lost Ted, he’d lose them all. They would take his side; of course they would. This whole time, they thought he and Ted were practically dating, and now they’d practically broken up.
Who needs them anyway, he thought angrily. I’ve made it this long without any friends, I can go back to how I was before. I still have Scott and Guy. Guy will take my side. Guy would approve.
Oh god, he was basing his decisions on what Guy would do. He’d gone insane. He should cut class and go check himself into the nearest mental hospital. He could spend the rest of his life finger painting and talking to potted plants, and no one would wonder whether or not he was gay, because they’d be too busy wondering if he was the quiet crazy, or the quiet-with-bouts-of-violence crazy. Ted would get over him and find someone sane and gay, and everyone but Michael would live happily ever after.
He needed to talk to Ted. Apologize and explain and beg until Ted forgave him or ordered him out of his life. Anything was better than thinking.
It was nearly time for class, and Michael hurried across campus, wanting to find Ted and talk to him before he lost his nerve. He was flushed and out of breath when he finally arrived at the classroom and headed to his usual seat.
The seat next to it was empty.
Maybe Ted was late? Michael scanned the room, and felt his heart turn to stone and plummet into his stomach, sending sloshing, churning bile burning up his throat. Ted was seated two rows ahead and to the right. And there were no empty seats near him.
As Dr. Garret started class, Michael wondered if “I have to go slit my wrists” was a valid excuse for leaving class early.
~~~~
The class dragged, Michael unable to focus on Dr. Garret’s voice. Ted’s head was bent over his desk as he took notes, and Michael couldn’t see his face. Was he angry or upset? He was quieter than usual, not joining in the discussion or even turning his head to see who was talking, but maybe that just meant he hadn’t had his coffee this morning. Michael fiddled with his pen, clicking it insistently until the girl next to him reached over and took it away, glaring at him. After that, he slumped in his seat, sparing a moment from his worry to be grateful that Dr. Garret wasn’t the type to call on students who were obviously too wrapped up in their own problems to pay attention in class.
When the class finally let out, Michael tossed his books in his bag and stood, watching Ted, who was dawdling, slowly putting things away. The room was empty except for the two of them and a student talking to Dr. Garret before Ted finally stood up. He looked surprised to see Michael standing by the door waiting for him. Michael smiled, hoping he didn’t look as sick as he felt.
Ted walked over slowly and stopped a few feet away from Michael, looking at a spot over Michael‘s shoulder. “Hey.”
“I’m sorry,” Michael blurted, his many prepared speeches abandoning him. “I overreacted, and I’m sorry. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay. I mean, it matters to you, but I don’t care. Well, obviously I care, otherwise I wouldn’t have overreacted, but that was…I’m sorry,” he finished, figuring that not talking anymore was probably the best course of action.
Ted blinked. “So, we’re okay then?”
The smile felt more real this time around. “Yeah. We’re okay. Just…I’m not gay, okay?”
“Some of my best friends are straight,” Ted said. “It’s weird and gross, but heterosexuals are people too and it’s wrong to judge them based on their perversions.”
Michael almost laughed at that. “Yeah, um, I mean, well, everyone says that you’ve been hitting on me and I thought, I mean you aren’t pretending to be my friend just to seduce me, right?”
Ted ran his fingers through his hair. “This isn’t going to be fixed with an apology and a slap on the back, is it?” Michael shook his head, looking at the ground, and Ted sighed. “Talk tonight? We can kick Ralph out and order pizza.”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Michael said. “Meet you in your room around 6?”
Ted nodded. “I gotta get to class,” he said apologetically.
“Yeah, me too. See ya’, Ted.”
It wasn’t fixed, Michael thought on his way to his Underwater Archeology class, but at least it was better.
~~~~
Ralph was gone by the time Michael arrived at Ted’s room, probably eating dinner in the hall with the others, and Michael wished he hadn’t said anything about Ted’s supposed flirting, that he and Ted were sitting with their group of friends with plenty of people to act like a buffer and fill awkward silences.
Ted had waited for Michael before ordering the pizza, and the two tried for their usual teasing argument about toppings (Michael liked Hawaiian but Ted thought fruit had no business on a pizza, and Michael thought olives and mushrooms were disgusting and had no business existing at all), but their hearts weren’t in it. Once the pizza was ordered, they sat together on the couch, not looking at each other and each trying to figure out what to say.
“You’re very attractive,” Ted finally said, and winced as Michael flushed and flinched away. Gamely, Ted plowed on. “I saw you around campus and thought you were handsome, so when I saw you in the library I took a chance. So yeah, I started talking to you because I wanted to date you, but I kept talking to you because I like you. You’re my friend. I wouldn’t have spent all this time with you if I didn’t genuinely like you. I’m glad I was attracted to you, because otherwise I might never have talked to you and then I wouldn’t have made the best friend I ever had.” He took a deep breath. “Okay?”
“So my not being gay won’t make any difference?” Michael asked timidly.
“’Course not. Does my being gay make a difference?”
Michael shook his head. “I was just surprised, is all. And,” he rubbed the back of his neck, still staring at the floor, “it kind of bothered me that everyone knew but me, and I only found out because Guy told me. But I talked to John, and he said no one told me because they didn‘t know I didn‘t know, so I guess it doesn‘t really count.”
“Yeah, well,” Ted picked up a pencil off the floor and twirled it between his fingers, “I might have suspected you didn’t know. I never mentioned it on purpose. I was trying to feel you out, figure out if you were gay. I wanted to know for sure before I told you. I was afraid if I just told you you’d get scared off. I had trouble figuring out which way you swung, though, so I just kept quiet.”
Michael sighed. “Well, everyone else just assumed I was gay, so I guess not being able to figure it out is a step up.” He thought for a few moments. “Wait, you never said because you wanted to make sure I was gay first? What happened to wanting to be my friend?”
“I never said I stopped being attracted to you,” Ted muttered. “That’s why I never said anything. I wanted to know if you were gay, and then I’d ask you out. And if it turned out you aren’t gay--which you aren’t, and I accept that--we’d just be friends. I’m happy being your friend. And maybe I was a little scared that we would date and it wouldn’t work, and then we wouldn’t be friends anymore either. And I liked that I could touch you and hug you, and you never got weirded out the way most straight guys do, and you didn’t get all handsy and jokingly flirty the way all my gay friends did in high school.”
The two sat there in silence, Ted watching himself play with the pencil as if the hands didn’t belong to him, and Michael staring out the window. Finally, Michael spoke.
“So everyone thinks I’m gay except you, and you can’t figure it out one way or the other. Do I give out a vibe or something?”
Ted shook his head. “No vibe. But no hetero-vibe either. You don’t flirt with anyone, or watch pretty girls, or talk about sex. I guess, since everyone knows I’m gay and we hang out so much, they decided you were too. Gay by association.”
“I told you, I’m not interested in sex with anyone,” Michael snapped.
“And I didn’t push it!” Ted said. “I didn’t point out cute guys or girls, and I didn’t ask you out or try to hook you up with anyone. You think this has been easy for me? Watching you, wanting to kiss you, and you saying sex was overrated! But at least, I told myself, we‘re friends. Maybe he‘s right, and a best friend is better than all the mess that comes with a romantic relationship. And then you find out I‘m gay and completely flip out, and it hurts worse than any break-up ever!”
Michael stood, pacing across the floor and gesturing. “Oh, poor Ted, how you’ve suffered. It must have been absolute torture for you, laughing at me behind my back, calling me your best friend while waiting for the chance to hook up with me, acting like you like me, when really you aren’t any different from anyone else! It’s new though, I’ll admit that. The football team wanted me for my brains, the rest of the school liked me because I played football, but you’re the first person to like me for my looks!”
Ted jumped to his feet and invaded Michael‘s personal space. “I don’t like you for your looks, you self-pitying jerk! I like you! And I never laughed at you, and if all I’d wanted was to hook up with you, I’d have said something ages ago! I’m not so desperate for a boyfriend that I have to spend months building a friendship first! I could get a date right now if I wanted!”
“Oh yeah! You haven’t had a date since I met you. I thought it was because you wanted to focus on school, but that’s not it at all, is it? Tell me, was it because you were really that determined, or because you couldn’t get anyone else so you settled for me?”
“Oh that’s good. First I’m a shallow, scheming bastard who’s been trying to seduce you from day one, and now I’m a desperate troll who picked you because there was no one else I stood a chance with? Well, I’ve got news for you, I haven’t been on a date because I’d rather be with you. I’d rather sit on the couch watching movies and chatting about nothing, without even touching, then have sex with the most gorgeous guy in the world. And even knowing I’ll never have a chance with you, I’d rather be with you than with anyone else. So you can take your persecution complex, and your inferiority complex, and your homophobia, and you can shove it.”
Michael blinked. “Really? You mean it?”
“Shove it where the sun don’t shine, because I’m sick of it,” Ted snarled, turning away.
Michael put a hand on Ted’s shoulder. “Ted. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, heard that before.”
“I mean it. Meant it then too.” Michael let his hand drop. “I don’t know how to deal with any of this. The only other people who were ever attracted to me were a couple of girls in high school, and I don’t think they ever saw past the football jersey.” He cringed. “That would be the inferiority complex again, huh?”
Ted nodded, turning back to face Michael. “I’m sorry too. I’ve been really stressed all weekend. I’d pretty much resigned myself to admiring you from afar, because gay or not, you said you didn’t want a relationship and I wasn’t going to push it, but then you got upset about me being gay, and I realized I was actually planning on admiring you from nearby, and afar would suck a lot. I want to be your friend, Mike. I don’t care if it never goes beyond that, but please don’t let this come between us.” He stuck out his hand. “Friends?”
Michael gripped his hand. “Yeah. You’re my best friend too, Ted. Just spending time with you makes my whole day better. I’m sorry I don’t like you that way. I never--”
Ted waved him off and pulled Michael into a hug, brief and complete with manly back-slapping. “We’re cool, shut up.”
Michael grinned. “So, movie night?”
“Pick something out,” Ted said, indicating the DVDs stacked by the TV. “Pizza should be here soon.”
Michael felt like his world had just snapped back into place, and cheerfully scanned the movie titles. Everything was how it should be again.
~~~~
It was late. The movie and pizza were long finished, and Michael and Ted had talked for hours. The conversation was perhaps a little desperate, both trying to return their friendship to how it had been before and carefully avoiding any topics that might cause another fight, but overall Ted felt the evening had gone well. Michael stayed until they were both yawning and rubbing their eyes, finally admitting that they needed sleep. Ted watched him go, and as soon as the door closed behind him, Ted pitched forward on the couch, face smushed against a cushion. Then he raised his head a little and dropped it back down a few times.
“What are you doing?”
Ted turned his head to see Ralph standing in front of him. “Where have you been all night?”
“Studying in the lobby. Thought I’d let you two work things out. Mike looked pretty happy leaving, so I figured it had gone well, but now I see you trying to-what are you trying to do? The couch is too soft to pound you head against, and you aren’t keeping your face down long enough to suffocate.”
“I’m too tired to find a hard, flat surface,” Ted said. “Couch cushions it is.”
“Didn’t it go well?”
“It went perfect. Everything is back how it was before.” He smacked the cushion with his forehead a few more times before sitting up. “I gave him the ‘just friends’ talk.”
Ralph sat next to him and put an arm around Ted’s shoulders. “That’s rough. Hearing it is bad enough, but saying it to someone you love?” Ralph shook his head. “No wonder you’re attempting physical harm through upholstery.”
“The worst part is, it was all true. I would rather be his friend than lose him completely. I’d just rather be his boyfriend than his friend. I don’t think he got that part. I think he thinks it’s all physical attraction.” Ted slumped over, head in his hands. “What am I going to do?”
“Be his friend,” Ralph answered. “Be what he wants and needs, and accept that he doesn’t want more, and move on. There are other fish in the sea, and all that.”
Ted glared at him. “If Sue was a lesbian, and I mean that in the ‘not attracted to men, not about to put on a sex show for men, and certainly not going to invite a man to a threesome’ way, and didn’t want anything more than friendship from you, would you accept it and move on?”
Ralph sighed and shook his head. “I’d probably defenestrate myself.”
Ted leaned back against the couch. “No point. We’re only on the second floor, and broken legs don’t cure broken hearts.”
Ralph patted him on the shoulder. “Sleep. You can be miserable tomorrow.”
“You suck at comforting.”
Ralph stood and walked over to his bed, rummaging through the pile of blankets for his pajamas. “Good night, Ted.”
Ted sighed again. “Good night, Ralph.”
TBC
Next chapter: Ted tries to get over Michael. Sue tries to play matchmaker. The author tries to introduce a character who was never intended to show up at all without spending an inordinate amount of time researching said character and his interests, bringing in all his friends and acquaintances who were also not intended to show up, developing a detailed backstory, and giving him his own subplot. At least one of these endeavors will have some small measure of success. Maybe.
Part 5