Privacy for Young Adults

[failstoexist]

At what age do you allow your child privacy in his or her own room? When do you begin knocking on their door before entering? Do you enter when the child is not home

Comments

[ekstrapiksels]

I always knock, because when you're trying to teach your kid manners and knocking is one of them, I think it's better to teach by example. And no, I wouldn't enter their room when they aren't home.

I have the right to suspend privacy, because it's our house, but I'd only do so under certain circumstances.

Adult children? Same rules they had before they left the house (no cursing in front of us, no smoking in the house, etc). I wouldn't impose a curfew, because by god they should be able to take care of themselves, but that won't stop me from waiting up for them. And I wouldn't go into an adult child's room, unless there's some sort of emergency.

[prophet_maid]

Because I have huge privacy/bodily integrity issues, I'd give my kids privacy from a young age, possibly as soon as they have their own room (plan to co-sleep). While I wouldn't wait till my 3 year old answers before I open the door, I would knock to warn them of my entrance. 7 and up I would definitely wait for permission to enter the room, under normal circumstances.

I use knocking as a warning too!

[rdhdsnippet]

I have a really severe startle response - if people came into rooms I thought I was alone in without giving me notice, I would turn into a nervous nellie.

I think it's reasonable to rap your knuckles on even an open door no matter what the age!

[abattoir_blue]

I would knock and respect a minor child's privacy unless they gave me a good reason not to. An adult child wouldn't be living with me if I didn't trust them to follow the house rules.

[ladygaia87]

I'd say probably around age 10 I'll start giving privacy. However, until my child is 16 or 17, I'll just knock twice, let them know I am coming in and go in. At 16 or so, I'll wait for them to tell me it's ok. There won't be locks on the doors, either. And me letting them tell me it's alright is dependent on if I'm suspicious of something or not, if I'm suspicious of something I'll just walk in. If they are not home, I will go in their room but only to put away clothes or their things that may be through the house, I would never go through their belongings

[shechoselove]

I'm sorry, but I loled at the notion of an 11pm curfew for adults.

[paradoxical_me]

I loled at dates having to stay in the living room/couch.
You'd think that adults would have enough common courtesy to not have sex/fool around in someone else's house, so I wouldn't try to keep dates out of their rooms. Besides, how weird would it be to have to sit on the couch with your date, with your parents hovering around. Holy awkward batman! LOL

[shechoselove]

I know. Besides, if your main goal is to deter kids from fooling around, they will find a way to do it somehow. You can set all the rules you'd like. Furthermore, if a college-aged student lives at home during breaks, do you honestly deem that curfew reasonable? Come on. :-\

[sashanatasha]

When my kids are old enough to start knowingly shutting their door, I'll start knocking. My 3 year old shuts the door now, but it's more of a game. I guess I could knock, but it never really occurred to me. I generally leave her alone to play in her room until she gets too quiet (which is rare), or there is too much laughing going on. Then I check to make sure she's not getting into something she shouldn't. When my 1 year old is playing with her I check more frequently...just a quick glance every few minutes. Sometimes if I'm spotted this means no more happy alone time and I'm drawn into playing something with them, so if I'm trying to get housework or whatever done my glances are quick and subtle ;)

[kitashla]

My 4 and 2 year old shut their door or other doors, but it's almost always because they are either playing the "slam the door" game or because they are doing something they shouldn't.

Heck, when the 4 year old was 2, she'd get up before everyone else in the morning and close OUR door so she could go sneak cookies from the cookie jar.

But because of the door slamming game (some day someone is going to lose a finger) they no longer have a door on their bedroom.

And because they can't be trusted in the bathroom not to flush an entire roll of toilet paper or something, they aren't allowed to close doors anywhere else.

[sashanatasha]

My kids are obsessed with the bathroom and it drives me crazy. They're obsessed with the toilet, so I keep the door shut. I can hear my daughter open the door, so then I have time to shoo them out before they're playing with the toilet. My 1 year old received a water table for his birthday, but both kids still find the toilet more exciting.