(Untitled)

[sewawkward]

You and an ex had a child and separated while the child was still a toddler. Over the next few years you both settle down and marry someone else. Your ex has always been active in the child’s life and has shared custody with you. Your ex suddenly dies while the child is a teenager

Comments

[ships_sail]

Yeah I would, if it were important to both of them.

Because they're still family, to me.

[lsmsrbls]

This.

[tailea]

Of course I would allow it. My mom re-married when I was 10 and if she had died when I was in my teens I would've wanted to still be able to see my stepdad.

[owlsarentaholes]

No. I would try to welcome her at family events (graduations, school plays, sporting events, parties, etc), assuming there was no reason for me NOT to want her around, but I would not send my child to spend regular stretches of time with her unless s/he made a REALLY big deal about it. I could see going over for dinner sometimes, or staying the night once in awhile (especially if there are half-siblings involved), but I wouldn't want it to be a routine.

[scarletladyy]

Why?

[owlsarentaholes]

Because the widow isn't our family, she spent time with my child because she was partnered to my child's father . . . if he's gone, she doesn't need to share custody with me.

[scarletladyy]

They're part of the child's family, though. Particularly if they've known them since they were a toddler.

[scarletladyy]

Yes.

If my mum had died, or if she died now even, I would still want a lot of close contact with her girlfriend because I see her as a mum too. I call her by her name, but we refer to each other as mother and daughter a lot.

[wyliekat]

Absolutely. In fact, I would take it to court if I had to - in order to maintain a presence in my stepdaughter's life.

Equally, I would want my ex's partner to be able to see my daughter. They have a very good relationship, and I would want that to continue.

[wyliekat]

If I was being barred from seeing my stepdaughter, I would ask them to intervene and allow me visitation or even shared custody.

http://duhaime.org/LegalResources/FamilyLaw/LawArticle-522/The-Step-Parents-Survival-Guide-to-the-Law-Post-Separation.aspx