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Jan 21, 2010 10:41

You and an ex had a child and separated while the child was still a toddler. Over the next few years you both settle down and marry someone else. Your ex has always been active in the child’s life and has shared custody with you. Your ex suddenly dies while the child is a teenager ( Read more... )

step-parents

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Comments 125

lordhellebore January 21 2010, 16:49:34 UTC
Yes, if the kid wanted it, I see no reason to not allow it.

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chrispina January 21 2010, 16:53:06 UTC
of course i would allow their spouse to keep an active role in my child's life unless i felt that the contact was harmful to my child. they are family.

i would not feel obligated to follow the old legal visitation schedule, but i would set up an informal schedule with the stepmom.

my child's opinion would definitely matter, but i would ultimately do what i felt was best for my child. sometimes people don't make the best decisions while grief is fresh. if they wanted to cut off all contact with a loving step parent, i would probably make them spend some time together because i think the contact would be good for my child even if it is initially painful.

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lutine January 21 2010, 18:33:53 UTC
This.

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itsnoelle January 21 2010, 16:53:13 UTC
If they were close to the ex's spouse, of course. That is their step-mother.

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queensugar January 21 2010, 16:53:20 UTC
Entirely up to the kid, and I'd support them if that was their choice. In my parents' custody agreement, formal time arrangements ended and at 14 the child was able to control who they spent time with and when, and any divorce I would ever have would have the same agreement.

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bluebuckeye January 21 2010, 16:56:05 UTC
Being on the other side of the fence (I would be the widow) I would hope they would remain in contact with me, but I wouldn't push it. They just lost their father and I wouldn't want to make things any harder for them or their mother than it already is. I would remain open to their wishes and would see them whenever they and their mother thought was appropriate.

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