(Untitled)

[kittyface]

Inspired by something someone said in an earlier thread today. This question applies to women with children who have working partners

Comments

[kittyface]

That's what I'm trying to figure out. I don't understand how it's even a question.

[the_moaner_lisa]

nope. that's why i work. oh yeah, and housing and heat and all the other things. as i say all the time: i just wanna stay home and make lunches, that's all i want. we just can't afford it. i mean, i work 4 days a week so i can be home more, but we need all the hours i can get otherwise. we poor!

My answer

[kittyface]

If the SAHM/WOHM argument has gone so far that people feed their kids ramen for dinner rather than go to work to afford decent food, then I am supremely depressed and horrified.

If I couldn't afford to provide basic nutrition for my kids (I'm not talking biodynamic foie gras and oysters here, I just mean fresh fruit and vegetables, whole grains, fresh eggs and meat for the carnivores, etc) then you bet your fucking ass I'm going to work. The possible downsides to my child's emotional health that MAY spring from me working are much much less of an issue than the physical health problems my child WILL have from eating ramen and peanut butter every night for dinner during childhood.

Re: My answer

[kittyface]

They didn't say that the emotional damage was worse, but they did say that they eat ramen and peanut butter sandwiches all the time because mommy doesn't work.

I think that's a hugely fucked up priority.

[spicycurvydiva]

Neither. It's called food stamps/WIC/working part-time to make ends meet.

[the_moaner_lisa]

but if you work part time you're not a SAHM

[spicycurvydiva]

I was editing when you replied--basically I was saying that this is pre-school-age when the cost of child care would negate a lot of the money I'd be bringing in by working fulltime anyway. Right now I work 22 hours a week in the evenings and we get some assistance on food to get by. When hubby graduates from college next year and becomes an engineer it will all be worth it.

[the_moaner_lisa]

oh yeah, i feel you there. the only reason it works for us is i'm home 3 days, he's home 2 days and 2 days we have a parent watch our daughter. child care is super expensive.

[shechoselove]

Latter. Call me selfish, but I'm not going to undergrad/grad school so I can dedicate the remainder of my post-college life solely to child rearing. Plus, I've been poor my whole life, and, if at all possible, would like to avoid that situation for my future hypothetical children.

[spicycurvydiva]

why does it have to be either/or? The remainder of your post-college life solely to childrearing? They do go to school at some point. My SIL has a master's degree and has chosen to stay at home with her boys until they start kindergarten, then she'll go back to teaching.
edited for typo

[shechoselove]

It doesn't. I was just answering the question at hand, which seemed a touch dichotomous to me.

[spicycurvydiva]

I agree (although I had to look up dichotomous! LOL). Life ain't black & white.