Some days i want to be someone else. I want to be anyone that isn't me. I look at the people on tv, the people i idolize, the people that have it made. It is a shallow wish i suppose at times. To have somthing that looks better than what i have. It is an ignorant thought because it could be so much worse. I could be poor, sick, abused, I am ( Read more... )

I looked at you today and i said to myself, was it my fault. I mean i know it was. I know that it was my fear of letting anyone too close and a fear of letting myself be happy. But why? Sometimes i remember what it was like to wake up with you next to me. I tried to remember the moment that i no longer wanted to wake up in your arms. I cant ( Read more... )

I sometimes feel like those monologues on tv shows are trying to tell me what to do with my life. I hear one and i am like...damn son that is RIGHT ON...then i hear another and i go a completely different direction. I am trapped between voices. Its like having a split personality. I am looking for advice in all the wrong places clearly...

I got the dirty looks last night. i think it is funny. No one knows what is going on in my mind or what i am trying to figure out...they only know what they want to see and that of course is "truth" If you all could take a second and think about it all, Then maybe you could tell me what to do. Hurting people is not my fortay...in fact i rather ( Read more... )

Things are all good...things are right...that is exactly what i needed...thank you...you know who you are

so do you let it go cuz its in the past or do you do your best to make it right? do you force something that maybe shouldnt be forced? What to do...so many questions. But i know this much...being home makes life real again. I remember who i am when i get off on Watertown Plank Rd. I cant wait for x-mas...

So i am at home. and i forget how much i love wauwatosa. So many memories...so many truths. I missed driving down my street and going shopping in my mall and running into joel Farren at the WAC. I miss the simplicity and i know i say that a lot. but it is true. High school was simplicity. and 19 rings in my head ( Read more... )

this is me drunk updating...idk when i got so drunk...and i dont care...kels left me at thebar and apparently i decided slippery nipple shots were the way to go...idk you tell me. i think that i got drunk without anyone telling me...i am making no sense. but i love hannah kitzerow like a sister and she shouldnt be upset...but she should be cuz i ( Read more... )

things have changes around here. What i cane back to Iowa city affraid tat i would never have again, came back to me. I had never felt so lucky. But then again i found it again and wasnt willing to let myself get hurt. I didnt jump in with both feet as i had 4 months before. There was something holding me back and i didnt know what it was ( Read more... )

so i had surgery on wednesday...it was a long first few days. But now i am actually up and moving thanks to a few really good friends and of course my mom and sister. I cant wait until walking around the mall doesnt take so much out of me. I looked like a crack addict (still do actually) i cnt stop itching from the morphine and i have some ( Read more... )