So I woke up this morning from now unknown dreams which were so realistic and vibrant at the time that I almost completely forgot about my real life and it took me one or two unsure seconds when I woke up to remember who and where I am. Shaking that off I changed into some athletic clothes, went to the local bakery to grab a sandwich and a coffee ( Read more... )

Wales is gorgeous. Rolling hills and mountains which I climbed with two legs and two arms. As I went up one, I got drenched by chilly rain. A cloud of fog followed behind me. When I got to the peak it had caught up. Not more than 50 feet of visibility; drenched, cold, 2000 feet up. It was so pleasantly cinematic. I wish I could do it everyday.

I just spent five days with the ghost of someone I used to love. Things can't change this easily by themselves. Someone has to try to make them change. Goodbye, lady. Probably forever.

Stress mostly evaporated for the time being. Comfort and contentment in putting my feet up and reading a book, stopping to bask in sunlight or watch people as they walk. Such little joys now genuinely joyful, because they are borne of peace and not procrastination ( Read more... )

A dull sense of misery, jitteriness, and confusion. And I have no idea why. I know I have questions which I have problems answering, like what do I really feel? What do I want? Why do people do the things they do? Why do I do the things they do? Why can't I know my emotions better ( Read more... )

Let us raise a glass to the dearly departed Kurt Vonnegut; who saw life, death, and truth as something simple, nuanced, engrossing, and above all, beautiful.

God bless you Mr. Vonnegut for being a prophet to a generation, multiple generations for that matter. And I hope your afterlife is as inspired as your mortal one.

Love,
Michael Pontone

Is happiness a curse? Is pain and misery a blessing? At this point in my life, happiness seems akin to stagnation. Happiness equals normalcy. Happiness equals a relaxed, warm boredom ( Read more... )

Mmmmm, yesterday I felt relief to some excrutiating pain. Now comes the guilt and the shame but what can I say, it made me realize certain truths. I am not nearly as invulnerable as I thought. Deep down, there isn't nothing, there is something very powerful, and it has the potential to hurt me and the ones I care about if I am careless ( Read more... )

The truth about insanity. It is being unable to focus on the past, present, and future simultaneously. It is forgetting the nature of life. It is allowing past regrets to fill you with dread, it is allowing future anticipation to rule your life, it is allowing the fleeting present to overwhelm ( Read more... )

The seasons have changed. A week ago it was frigid, cold, clean; completely conducive to being alone in your own mind and having others accept you being in that state. A season has passed since I've been with her, it seems so long ago and yet so fresh. In a season she went from loving me, to tolerating me, to running from me. The warm weather ( Read more... )