Hitting Bottom

[bobby1933]

"Blessed are the poor in spirit; for their's is the kingdom of heaven." Mattjew 5::3

Comments

[mamculuna]

When I think of hitting bottom (and in my case it's not related to drugs or alcohol), I think of Gerard Manley Hopkins' poem, "No worst, there is none," which I don't recommend reading--I think for him it was the dark night of the soul of clinical depression or maybe just problems with faith.

I don't know the book about Laura S, but there are a good many other books on Buddhism and twelve step programs. However (again, since I've not had to deal with substance problems), I've really learned so much from Pema Chodron's books (which are about hitting bottom, in a way, and certainly about "stinkin' thinkin'"), When Things Fall Apart and The Places That Scare You. Those are books that have meant a lot to men in prison that I've worked with, who have been dealing with drug and alcohol problems among others--but they've also meant a lot to people who're just going through some rocky places.

[bobby1933]

Thank you. Many of my friends read Pema Chodron and the quotes they leave me are always helpful. I guess i ought to read her.

[mamculuna]

I especially like her because she's not promoting orthodox Buddhism but simply talking about human issues--and she does it well.

[bobby1933]

Ah, my kind of Buddhist! But i do find Buddhism in general to be simple and true. And i do know how (most of the time) to take what i need and leave the rest alone.

[nerthus]

As you know, my son died recently, technically of a heart attack brought on by cardiomyopathy and arteriosclerosis; but the heart damage was caused mostly by alcoholism. If I was to be totally honest, I would say my son committed slow but sure suicide via whiskey. He had mental and behavioral difficulties from early childhood on, started 'acting up' in second grade at age 7 but it was his last couple years of high school when he really became a big ball of rage, hatred, self-loathing and suicidal ideation. He struggled into his twenties, moved to live alternately by himself and with friends, partied and did drugs and drank, screamed his rage out in a death metal band for a few years. He settled down awhile when he had his first and only true love, but both of them had so many mental health problems between them that even their mutual love for each other ultimately couldn't surmount these problems. My son crashed and burned big time after his gf finally threw in the towel and ended their relationship and moved away; he ended up being

[bobby1933]

I don't think i ever said i'm sorry for your loss. I am.
And i have more to share.

[reginaterrae]

I'm not sure where you think your thinking is stinking ... you strike me as exhibiting a holy humility in this. Which is a good thing, as long as it doesn't end in discouragement.

I am seeing you, of course, only through your journal. Maybe you have something on your conscience that I do not know about. But I do not believe you stray far from the right path. Whatever is worrying you, my dear, turn it over, pray for grace to continue to change, and be at peace. One of our AA principles is "progress, not perfection". No matter how many years you have left, you will not reach perfection in this life. Look for neither all nor nothing. One foot in front of the other.

Love
Regina

[bobby1933]

Perhaps i should have said that i am better able than in the past to catch the scent of a rotten thought, and when someone else catches the scent of my thought through my unkind words, i become embarrassed. While the unkind words need to be stopped and i am grateful to those who call them to my attention, the embarrassment is an indication of my slow growth. Other peoples' opinions of me should be none of my business.