"The Bodyguard Job" - Part Two
Title: The Bodyguard Job
Chapter: Two
Characters: Puck/Rachel, Blaine, Finn, Kurt, Santana and various others in unexpected places.
Rating: R
Word Count: ~7400
Genre: Romance, Drama, Future AU
Warnings: Language
Summary:
Noah Puckerman is used to being noticed; but when he begins to get the
wrong kind of attention his team hires the least likely bodyguard
imaginable. Now he has to convince the world that she's his girlfriend
without actually falling for her in the process.
Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy, Fox, et al. own Glee. I own nothing (quite literally) and am making absolutely no profit from this endeavor.
Prompt: Puck is a celebrity with a stalker. Rachel is his unlikely bodyguard. -
puckrachel drabble meme (by:
shaesweetie)
------
Fifteen minutes later Noah found himself sitting across from Rachel at the Starbucks down the street from CAA's office building, studying his coffee cup and wondering what she was seeing that he wasn't. Since the moment they walked out of the office building Rachel had appeared completely relaxed as she strolled along next to him; but he had noticed that her eyes seemed to take in every single person they passed as if she was cataloging them in her mind quickly before moving onto the next one.
Now he was just waiting for her attention to be fully on him again; because she was doing the same thing she had been on the street only far more intensely now that they were stationary at a table. It was more then a little disconcerting for the actor; mostly, since to anyone looking at them he could tell it would look like they were on an awkward first date and searching for a conversation topic.
He ignored the internal voice that told him they were doing exactly that.
"Sooo," he finally prompted when she met his eyes again. "Tell me what's up with you. Beyond the glaringly obvious last name difference; it has been quite a few years."
He smirked when she blushed slightly and waited until she answered. Unfortunately it wasn't full of babbling, halfway defensive answers, as he was expecting and he had to remind himself that he wasn't sitting across from a thirteen year old girl who was sort of a friend by default due to their parents friendship. He was sitting across from a thirty-two year old woman who was obviously very different.
"It's a really long story and I don't want to get into it in public," she started and then lowered her voice. "The walls have ears and since we don't know who is stalking you I'd prefer any information that might imply my profession to not be overheard. The idea is that I'm your girlfriend, not your bodyguard. Remember? Those were your stipulations from what Mr. Anderson told me."
"First off, you should probably call him Blaine if you're my girl," Noah responded with a slight laugh. "Also, maybe cool down the professionalism a bit?"
He watched her exhale and blinked as a transformation suddenly came over her; gone was the cool, slightly standoffish, posture and in it's place was a relaxed, smiling woman who was giving him exactly what he had mentioned in the office. Apparently Rachel had some really impressive googly eyes. If he didn't know for a fact that this was the first time they had seen each other in years he'd swear he was sitting across from a woman who was completely smitten with him.
"Geez, maybe San was right. She should represent you," he muttered and laughed when she smirked back at him.
"I'm very talented," she replied simply. "The key to my job has almost always been the ability to observe, adapt, blend in and play a role if necessary. Right now I'm your old friend from Ohio that you're dating exclusively. Call it the best application of both my strongest interests."
"Which are?"
"Acting and psychology," she responded. "But seriously, enough about me while we're here. Tell me how Noah Puckerman went from a preteen mohawked jock in Lima, Ohio to an Oscar nominated actor in Hollywood. 'Cause, I have to admit Noah, I would have never expected thirteen year old you to turn into this."
"Feeling's mutual babe," he joked back, raising an eyebrow. If he was being honest he'd almost have expected them to switch professions if they were going by their early teenaged personalities. "Honestly though?" he continued. "It really wasn't anything too insane; the short of it is that I got in trouble one day during my Junior Year of High School and our principal decided that I should be forced to work on the spring musical as punishment. I found out pretty quickly that I liked the acting part."
"Oh please Noah. You used to bitch at me constantly about blabbering on all about Broadway and how I was going to be a star one day. There has got to be more to the story then what you're telling me. Besides, I'm supposed to know all this as your loving girlfriend. So channel that writer you played a few years ago and make with the exposition."
Noah blinked at her comment and before he explained he had to ask one question, "You saw that? It didn't even get picked up for distribution."
The movie she was referring to was an independent thriller he had starred in two years earlier at minimum SAG pay scale as a favor to a friend from college who had basically no budget to work with (he would have worked for free if it wouldn't have caused issues with the union). It had been shown at a few festivals and had been a favorite at Sundance but was a little too controversial for any major distributors to pick it up for a wide release. Since then his performance as a schizophrenic horror writer who didn't realize he was acting out the scenes he wrote was one of his favorites (one of the critics favorites too) but wasn't exactly easy to come by even if it was on DVD.
"I've seen everything you've been in Noah," she admitted. "Or at least everything on film. First thing I saw was "Morning Skies", I didn't know you were in it and I wasn't sure at first it was you; then when I saw the credits and saw your name I was so proud of you. So I made a point to try and support you anyway I could. And that was by making sure I saw all your performances. You're really very talented."
"Wow," he whispered and felt himself smiling. The fact that Rachel Berry, who once told him she'd be the toast of Broadway, was telling him he was talented and that she was proud of him, somehow felt better then the four Oscar nominations he'd received over the last few years. "Morning Skies was my first real film work. Or at least the first thing I was recognizable for," he explained. "I wasn't sure what kind of acting I wanted to do yet; but I wasn't about to say no to anything directed by Martin Scorsese. Even if I did get blown to hell in the first forty minutes; but that's a Civil War movie for you. Everyone gets blown to hell eventually."
"It was a really good film," Rachel agreed. "Not surprisingly, as you said - Scorsese was directing. I actually saw it with the first daughter at the time," she added quietly. "She had quite the crush on you."
Noah laughed at that comment and couldn't help joking back, "Why didn't you tell her you could have gotten in touch with me? I woulda signed something. Hell, back then I would have signed ten somethings for any type of recognition."
"Oh fuck no," Rachel immediately replied. "That kid was the biggest brat I've ever met." That comment had him choking on his coffee to keep from cracking up completely and drawing too much attention to them; people were generally apathetic to celebrities in Los Angeles, but only to an extent. Drawing too much attention to yourself usually means you'll get bothered by fans. "But we're off track again. How'd you go from the Noah Puckerman I knew to Corporal John Kepper in Morning Skies? Tell me about you."
"Okay, here goes," Noah began and decided to do what she told him. Make with the exposition. "I went to McKinley, obviously. Joined football, played wide receiver and behaved exactly as everyone expected I should. I'm not exactly proud of it now or anything but I'll admit, I was an asshole. I bullied the geeks and slacked off in school 'cause as long as I had that C+ average to play football it was enough. I slept around with cheerleaders and the cougars in town and was generally just waiting to get out of High School. I never really wanted more and since no one expected more from me I didn't try for more. Does that make sense?"
"Completely," Rachel replied nodding. "And that's not just my psych degree talking," she added. "Remember what I was like back then? Everyone expected me to be that way so I never had a reason to change it."
He chuckled and nodded before continuing, "Well, you met Finn at the office. He and I have been best friends since we were about six and to be honest, some days, looking back on it I have no idea why. He should have dropped me like a bad habit when we were kids 'cause I don't think I ever gave a real shit about him until I didn't have him around anymore," he mumbled the last part and debated explaining since it was still a painful memory that only reinforced how stupid he had been as a teenager.
"I'm confused," Rachel prompted, tilting her head slightly as though examining a puzzle.
He waited a few beats and finally muttered, "Fuck it. Alright, so, back then I was really jealous of Finn. He was the QB and he was everyone's stereotypical midwestern golden boy. I never understood why; he was always with me when I did shit to the so-called losers, but since he just stood around and looked dopey no one ever blamed him for it. It's not even like he tried to stop me, but apathy was apparently forgivable. So, I started letting this bitterness grow and instead of changing my own behavior I decided that the reason Finn was considered supposedly perfect was because of his girlfriend. He was one half of McKinley's golden couple; even though we were only Sophomores. Quinn Fabray, the beautiful blonde, Christian, head cheerleader," he trailed off and rolled his eyes at the memories as he took a sip of his coffee and then checked Rachel's expression. It was obvious she taking in everything he was saying, though her eyes were still trailing around the room as people moved in and out of the coffee shop.
"I think I remember her," Rachel commented, surprising him. "She lived near my house. She was kind of a bitch."
"Understatement," Noah responded. "Unfortunately, I found that out the hard way. We were at a party that Finn couldn't go to and we had each had a few drinks so I got this brilliant idea to kiss the chastity queen. Got one hell of a slap for it too."
Rachel giggled as he shook his head quickly, remembering the force which with Quinn had hit him. At the time it had pissed him off; hindsight being what it was he was never more thankful to be hit in his life.
"What happened then?" she asked him when Noah had fallen silent for a few beats, arranging his thoughts.
"Oh, that's when picture perfect Quinn Fabray showed her true colors," he admitted. "The next Monday I got to school and Finn basically beat the hell out of me for making a move on his girlfriend. Took damn near a full year to get him to talk to me again and most of Junior Year to get us back to where we had been."
"Ouch," Rachel muttered. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It was my dick move. I've got mixed feelings on the subject now. On one hand, I'm very thankful in the long run that she didn't go for it 'cause then I'd have been stuck with her for a while, possibly a whole month, and probably never would have gotten my friendship with Finn back. On the other hand, I wish she had because then Finn wouldn't have been stuck with her until halfway through our Freshmen Year of college."
"They dated that long?"
"Finn's very...trusting."
"How'd they break up?"
"She got expelled from her super Christian college down in Texas when she got caught having sex with some guy."
"They expelled her from college for having sex?" the incredulous tone in Rachel's voice was unmistakable.
"Yea," he replied. "Apparently it is immoral and deviant behavior in those circles."
"Damn."
"Uh-huh; I'd have been burned at the damn stake."
"Me too," Rachel admitted, prompting a laugh from both of them.
"Oh! Best parts of the whole Quinn-drama? The guy in Texas knocked her up, 'cause apparently she was from the school of thought that you can't get pregnant your first time and no one had ever taught her about birth control in any form. Even better? Bitch hated me in high school; three years ago she started emailing Finn asking him for my contact information. It's like suddenly I'm famous and she wants to pretend like we were friends."
This comment had Rachel's head shooting up and Noah furrowed his brow in confusion, waiting for whatever had caught her attention, "I need her contact info."
"Whyyy?" he trailed out. "We don't want to talk to that psycho-bitch."
"You're being stalked by a female Noah," she hissed.
"Oh fuck no. It's not Quinn. Believe me. We checked that shit out immediately. She's still in Lima, disappointingly single and the cheerleading coach."
"Oh," Rachel muttered. "Well, that woulda been too easy anyway."
"Yea. So what else do you want to know?"
"Let's see," she mumbled, tapping her lips with her pointer finger as she smirked. "Oh, I know. How'd you become me?"
"I told you. I got in trouble for tossing a geek into a dumpster and had to help out with the spring production during Junior Year."
"Helping out with the spring production doesn't necessarily lead to four Oscar nods Noah," Rachel replied, whining slightly and kicked him lightly under the table before glaring at his laughter. "Stop teasing me."
"Alright, alright," he shot back, holding his hands up as if to placate her. "So, I was supposed to just be manual labor and one day I got there early 'cause I skipped last period to fuck around with my guitar since the acoustics in the auditorium were pretty fucking good for a shitty public high school. I was just fiddling around with a song I was writing and started singing the melody over it to see how it tied together and our creepy as fuck director overheard me. Next thing I know he's got me reading lines opposite the female lead. The next day I found out that the male lead had been bumped back to understudy and my weekday afternoons and Saturday mornings belonged to him and McKinley High School's production of High School Musical. I tried to get out of it but Mr. Ryerson convinced Principal Figgins that it'd keep me too busy to cause trouble at school; so Figgins told me he'd use my participation as some overall extra credit which would put my average in the B range. So I was stuck with Ryerson for the next semester."
"Huh," Rachel replied, looking surprised. "That was lucky."
"No shit," Noah joked back. "Even if I had to dance around and sing Disney songs for five months all for a four show production."
"But you found out what you wanted to do for the rest of your life."
"Truth."
"So, why was he creepy?"
"Huh?"
"You said your director was creepy as fuck and then stressed that you were stuck with Ryerson for the semester, not stuck with the musical."
"Oh! Yea, that. Let's just say that the worst kept secret in Lima was that Sandy Ryerson liked teenage boys; except no one had any proof. I just figured he thought I was hot and wanted to stare at my ass. Kurt finally convinced me around March that I, quote, far from sucked."
"Kurt? Oh, your stylist."
"Yea, he's also Finn's step-brother. Kurt and I started hanging out by default since he was playing Ryan in the show and it was pretty obvious early on that we were the only ones in the cast that could really do more then just barely carry a tune. Since Kurt and I were stuck with each other, Finn and Kurt started hanging out when Finn would come over to make fun of me running my lines. It was weird and I'm still not clear on the details but the next thing I know it's the middle of the summer before Senior Year and Burt and Carole are getting married."
"You realize this sounds like a bad sitcom right?"
"You're the one who wanted to hear what you missed out on when you moved."
"I have a feeling I missed out on dumpster trips."
"Hey! I never would have thrown a chick into a dumpster."
"That's good to hear," Rachel admitted, smiling across the table at him and sending those googly eyes again.
"I just would have slushied you," he finished with a purely evil smirk that had her flipping him off. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. The eyes of puppy love are creepy."
"I can't help it," she responded dryly. "You're just so attractive."
He sent her his flirtiest wink and then thought about what high school with Rachel would have been like and honestly couldn't even begin to picture it, except for one thing, "Ya know, I bet you would have been following Finn around with those puppy eyes. I remember what you were like and that kid was the total stereotypical prince charming wrapped in a football uniform. Did you chase the most popular boy around at your High School?"
"Ugh," Rachel groaned. "Believe me, I got the sunshine and rainbows blinders off really fast in DC. Lima's not exactly the boondocks but compared to the District it was Mayberry. Even a private school in DC wisens you up really quickly."
"I bet," he agreed, thinking of even just being twenty-two and moving to a city like LA, even after living in Columbus for four years.
"Besides, I think you're wrong."
"About what?"
"My apparent theoretical high school crush on Finn."
"Oh?"
"Yep; I'd have probably had a thing for you. Though judging by your explanation of your behavior I'd have covered it up with extreme loathing."
"Nah, babe. You would have hated me. At least until I had to play opposite you since you know you'd be all over the leading lady parts; then I'd have gotten you to drop your panties sooooo fast."
"Ha. Ha," she muttered and then laughed when he winked again. "You're an ass."
"Not really," he assured quickly. "But I bet if anyone is watching us and not listening they're deciding that we're playfully flirting and teasing. See Rachel, you're not the only one who can observe, adapt and act accordingly."
"Touche Mr. Puckerman."
The two smiled at each other for a few seconds before Noah cleared his throat and tried to ignore the tightening in his stomach as she stared back at him. He finally just focused on the training that had led him to be a household name and shrugged flippantly, "It's not like it's that hard to flirt with you. You're fucking gorgeous."
"Why thank you ever so much."
"So what about you?" he asked, immediately changing the subject before he really started flirting with the woman wearing a gun.
"Nuh-uh. We're only up to Junior Year."
"What are you writing an article?" he questioned, only half joking. Only people who had actually been present during the events he was talking about knew this much and if he didn't know she had been tasked to protect leaders of government at one point he'd be nervous that TMZ was going to get some exclusive expose on him.
Noah had worked far too hard over the years to keep his image as uncontroversial as possible; as far as the general public was concerned he was a nice, talented, if somewhat gruff personality who just happened to date a lot. None of the women he dated ever talked to the press, since he tried to stick to somewhat classy women with actual careers these days, and he made sure to stay away from actresses so he avoided any potential issues on future sets. It was this tight lipped control over his personal life (and how grateful was he that the Twitter craze had died down before he really got famous) that made the trashier paparazzi scrounge for any tiny detail they could get.
"Not at all. Please don't be worried about that Noah," Rachel responded looking concerned. "I promise, anything you tell me is for my own information so I can suss out what this stalker is potentially working with."
"Alright, just so you know though, the rest of it is mostly boring. Senior Year was a little shaken up cause I quit football but that's really the extent of it."
"You quit football? You've played since pee-wee league."
"Yea, well, we sucked. Honestly, we were horrendous. Tanaka's coaching was never going to take that team anywhere and since it wasn't going to help me out with a potential college scholarship I decided I needed to get my grades up legitimately and focus on the Drama Club. Kurt and his friends were a big help with that actually."
"Hmmm?"
"Well, his friend Artie started tutoring me towards the end of Junior Year and so we picked it up again our Senior Year. He was a cool kid; he played guitar and piano with the Jazz Band and the orchestra so the last few months of Junior Year he was on lockdown in the auditorium with me and Kurt too. Then there was Tina, she was this ridiculously shy girl who had a really, really nice voice but if you tried to put her on a stage I think she'd have a heart attack. Instead she ran the set design team."
"So she was on lock down with you guys as well?"
"Yup. The four of us pretty much bonded over the sheer stupidity of everyone else by the end of Junior Year. Well, that and the fact that Mr. Ryerson spent the rest of high school stalking us."
"I don't like that word right now Noah."
"Sorry Rach," he muttered. "I was joking about the stalking thing; well, sort of. Ryerson also ran the Glee Club at McKinley and he had conned seven students to join it by that point. They needed twelve to compete so Ryerson was convinced that if he could get the four of us involved then tracking down one more member wouldn't be a problem."
"You were in Glee Club too?"
"Didn't you hear me say trying to convince us? The Glee Club was horrible. Like, legitimately bad. I'm not just talking about social suicide, hell I was in Drama. I'm talking how they sounded. Every single one of those seven was convinced that they should be the lead, so trying to get them to sing together and harmonize was like trying to squeeze blood from a rock. Mercedes was the worst of the lot. She was really good friends with Kurt, Tina and Artie until we started working on High School Musical. She kept insisting she wasn't an actress; she was a singer. Almost like it was beneath her or something," he explained, shrugging and looking annoyed at the thought considering how he now made his living. "Then she was pissed at them for being friends with me. That part I kind of understood; though for the most part I left Tina alone even before I really got to know her. Mostly 'cause she sort of worked her ass of to blend into the woodwork, as much as a goth kid can blend at least."
Rachel laughed at the explanation and asked, "Are you talking about Tina Cohen-Chang?"
"Yea, you know her?"
"Noah! She went to Temple with us for years. Her Mom's Jewish."
"Huh; I guess she did blend," he muttered, thinking back to their childhood before he was old enough for his Mom to stop forcing him to go to Temple weekly.
"I guess," Rachel agreed laughing lightly. "So, no Glee Club?"
"No Glee Club," he repeated shaking his head. "I mean, it could have been fun if they had any hope in hell of getting their shit together but the four of us went to one practice at the beginning of Senior Year and practically feared the choir room after that. I mean, I didn't blow off music or anything, but it was all out of school. Mostly Artie and I just fucked around with our guitars when we hung out and we'd occasionally get Tina to sing with us. Kurt you couldn't shut up, he needed no encouragement when I was playing. Though he did tend to complain about song choice and tried to get me to learn more then one musical score. Once in a blue moon Finn would play drums if we were all at him and Kurt's house hanging out; but usually if I was over there it was just to see Finn 'cause he was a little freaked out by my new friends and he was less then thrilled with the whole football thing."
"Awe you had your own little band!" she giggled through the words; obviously choosing to ignore the slightly bitter tone he had taken as he spoke of his best friend's reaction to his choices. It was all well past water under the bridge this many years later but sometimes those less then happy years of his childhood still stung.
"Hush woman! We had badass jam sessions."
"Right so sorry; badass jam sessions. I'll remember for future reference."
"Anyone ever told you that you've gotten more sarcastic in your old age."
"Anyone ever tell you it's rude to call a woman old?" she asked in response and adjusted her jacket.
Noah paled at the words and he quickly changed the subject rather then backpeddalling, "So yea anyway, where was I? Right. Senior Year. I didn't really want to do another musical; especially since Ryerson wanted to do High School Musical 2. Even Kurt hated that idea; but Kurt was also lobbying for Cabaret with him as Sally Bowles."
"Oh God."
"Exactly," Noah replied, snorting slightly. "He wanted me to play The Emcee. I looked that shit up at the time and shut it down quick. Instead I found the production I really wanted to do that fall. Artie and Tina were easy enough to convince. Kurt was more difficult but once I promised him the second lead he was good. Once I got him on board the four of us basically blitz attacked the rest of the Drama Club and somehow, by the grace of God, got the school to agree to a drama instead of a musical without them knowing which play it was."
"Oh geez Noah. What'd you do?" Rachel questioned and he grinned when he realized she was hanging off his every word. He knew they paid him big money for a reason; he's badass at drama.
"Inherit the Wind**. Too bad Ryerson flipped out and walked since he refused to 'not partake in a musical endeavor.' We weren't that broken up until we realized we needed a faculty adviser. Thankfully our Spanish teacher's personal life was up shit's creek and he had a lot of free time and a bit of an over zealous theatre bug himself. The man didn't have a clue about what he was doing but we let him pretend to be the director while Artie really took care of everything," Noah continued explaining, smirking as he thought of Mr. Schuester's bumbling attempts at team building and group bonding.
The man had never understood that not one member of McKinley High's Drama Club cared that most of them hated each other outside of the auditorium; inside of it they tolerated each other's presence and worked together so they, personally, didn't look like idiots come opening night. Noah still laughed whenever he remembered Kurt explaining to Schue that they were theatre geeks and were more likely to bash each other's knees in over a role then actually make nice off of the stage. But for the whole year Schue kept calling them a "family" and got teary eyed until they finally agreed so that they could move onto the next scene. Tina had been convinced that it was because of his train wreck of a marriage to the psycho from Sheets N' Things who had pretended to be pregnant right up until her ninth month and then had no baby to show for it.
Now that had been one massive scandal in Lima once it made the gossip rounds.
"So yea, we did Inherit the Wind and it went off pretty damn well. Got my first review in the local paper for it too," he joked and wiggled his eyebrows with a fake sigh which turned into a snicker when Rachel half glared at him as he channeled her at thirteen. "Which was impressive considering it was a play put on by high school students with a director who had no clue what he was doing. Made worse by the fact that it was still slightly controversial subject matter considering we were in Ohio and were basically spitting distance from the Bible Belt."
"Did you have problems?"
"Well, not really. Remember what I said about Quinn and the birth control thing?"
"Yea?"
"McKinley taught abstinence only sex ed and while we did learn evolution in science being that it was a public school; there were a lot of kids who's parents were uncomfortable with that idea. So, it just made people a little critical. No one actually did anything."
"Oh, well that's good at least."
"Yea, not that I cared. I was playing Matthew Harrison Brady and no one was going to stop that production as far as I was concerned since I got to play a part that had also been played by George C. Scott and Charles Durning at one point."
"Very true," Rachel mumbled and looked slightly wistful, which left Noah smirking. She still had the bug; he didn't know what had changed to lead her down the path she had pursued in her life but the bug was still there. Which was good, because he didn't think he could remotely relate to her if she didn't still care about all the insanity she had rattled off at one point in her life that had ironically become his. When he was younger he never thought he'd understand what she meant about the freedom of pretending to be someone you aren't and living another life. He couldn't imagine not doing that now.
"You okay?" he decided to ask when the wistful expression didn't leave her face.
"Yea, I am."
"You looked lost for a second there."
"Not lost. Maybe a teensy bit envious; but not lost. The envy doesn't have anything to do with your job though. It's more to do with the fact that you did all that with friends. I never really had friends to work on plays with."
"So you did do the theatre thing?"
"Not past high school," she clarified. "But that's part of the long story for not here."
"Tease."
"Not. At. All," she joked back and winked at him with a leer, grinning when he glared back and shifted in his seat. "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were doing the whole blatant flirting thing for the benefit of the people sitting around us."
"I hate you a little bit right now," Noah grumbled, trying to ignore the tightening in his pants from her little manipulation. He was usually better at this game and decided he was thrown off since he wasn't allowed to legitimately flirt or try to seduce her. He remained quiet, draining the last of his coffee before glancing around and then groaning. "Fucking vultures."
"Huh?"
"Paps outside," he explained with a head nod and watched Rachel turn behind her towards the glass windows to see camera flashes going off, all of which were pointed in their direction. "Probably about four of them," he added, studying the small grouping of people outside staring right at him through the window. "Alright time to give them a show," he added under his breath and reached across the table to intertwine their fingers. "Just roll with it."
"Rolling," she agreed, squeezing his hand and leaning forward slightly while propping her chin up on her free hand. "You were saying?" she added, giggling slightly and once again looking all dopey and smitten. It was almost nauseating because he suddenly realized that all the women he dates tend to look like that; and there's a damn good reason he's never stayed with them longer then a few months. He also knew it would convince the photographers very quickly for that very same reason.
"The rest of senior year was almost an issue; but we ironed it out fairly quickly. I had gotten into OSU and a few other schools but I knew OSU was my best bet 'cause of in-state tuition. The draw back was going to be making sure I got a spot in the Theatre Department. There's always an audition of course; but I knew the best way to get in would be to get someone to come see me in our spring production. Since Kurt had gotten into FIT he wanted to run the costume department, instead of acting, and build up his portfolio and with that in mind he convinced me that the best bet for both of us was showing versatility so we manipulated the Club to voting on doing Grease."
"Ahhh," Rachel interjected. "Drama, music and comedy all in one. Nice."
"Now you talk?"
"Well, I figured we're being photographed and possibly filmed. An even exchange looks better then you just talking at me," was the explanation he received, right along with her foot lightly moving up and down his calf.
"Subtle, very subtle," he muttered, suppressing a shiver. He was right earlier in the office; he was fucked. "So yea, Grease. The problem was Schue."
"Why was your teacher a problem? Did he know even less about directing musical numbers?"
"Actually, no. The man went from incredibly bumbling idiot trying to make nice with his students to a dictator. Suddenly he knew everything and we were just his pawns to be pushed around. I had begged Finn and our friends Mike, Sam, and this kid Dave Karofsky who wasn't exactly our friend but could actually passably sing, to play the T-Bird's since there weren't any guys in the Drama Club who could pull it off convincingly and all three of them could sing well. Or at least, Finn and Sam could sing well and Mike and Dave could passably carry a tune."
"Lemme guess, Mike and Dave played Sonny and Roger?"
"Sort of. No solos. They just had to harmonize with us. Finn was playing Kenickie and Sam was supposed to play Doody."
"Supposed to?"
"Yea, we wound up doing the play by using the film script and songbook because Brittany, who was playing Sandy, was a really sweet girl but she couldn't learn her lines or what she was supposed to do unless she watched the film a few dozen times. So the guys wound up playing basically the same roles; but with their movie counterpart's names. Less singing for Sam off that script, but he didn't care that much."
"The movie's fun too, but, if she had a problem with it, why get involved in the first place?"
"She's a dancer and she had a really nice voice; nothing spectacular but nice. She was Mike's girlfriend and she heard we were doing Grease and decided to audition so she could spend time with Mike and dance. That dragged shit onto Quinn's radar and since Quinn was basically attached at the hip to Finn she was always there; then randomly Schue wanted Quinn to play Sandy instead but I vetoed that immediately. By that point I couldn't even be in the same room as her without wanting to throw things."
"And playing opposite her would have been torture."
"Oh you have no idea," Noah muttered and shook his head in disgust. "But hey, I told her she could play Rizzo if she actually wanted a part in the show. She just got pissed and stormed off after screaming at me over the very idea that she could ever relate to a slutty girl who got herself knocked up out of wedlock. Irony's great isn't it?"
"Well, you did say in an interview last year that you've been told by directors that you have an eye for casting and knowing what a role needs," Rachel responded with with a smirk that matched the one Noah was currently sporting.
"Either that or I'm fucking psychic," he replied, pulling her hand up to his mouth to kiss it and tossing the photographers outside an annoyed expression. Santana would be thrilled; now Rachel could hang around him all the time and no one would question a damn thing about it.
"So was Quinn the issue you had to iron out?"
"No; though I do think Schue wanted her in the role because he so had a hard on for her. She was basically his ex-wife from their high school days which explains so much about Quinn really if you think about it," he mused lightly, thinking back. "Anyway, the problem was that Schue also had a hard on for Finn and decided two weeks into rehearsals in February while we were still blocking that Finn was now playing Danny and I was playing Kenickie. Keep in mind, I had to beg my friends to play these parts so that I'd have a realistic looking cast come opening. I had to explain it to them in football scout terms; but they got it. Finn was over his whining about me and football and he totally understood that this was what I wanted and when Schue decided that shit Finn looked like the rug had been pulled out from under him. I think he took it worse then I did at first."
"What the hell did you do?" Rachel asked him with wide eyes; having been told she did theatre in high school he knew she was thinking of the brick wall you can hit when a faculty adviser makes an executive decision and won't budge on it.
"It was a bad week for Schue," Noah began explaining with a slightly bitter grin. "Finn quit the play completely and Schue spent the week telling Finn all about how he needed to play this role because it would help him go places. How Finn reminded Schue of himself. Didn't Finn want the best person to play the role. Shit like that, shit I had never heard from him despite knocking both of the previous productions I had done at that school out of the park. Finn just refused to come back unless it was as Kenickie with me as Danny. He told Mr. Schue that he didn't care about the play; he cared about his best friend getting into OSU's Theatre program. That compiled with Kurt and Tina "striking" and the rest of the stage crew striking with them and Schue pretty much lost. He made my life a living hell the rest of the time though and had the balls to tell me I had been "just passable" on closing night."
"What the fuck? Who gave that man a teaching degree?"
"That's still up for debate. Not much else to tell. Graduation. OSU, where nothing noteworthy happened and yes I'm being serious about that. I played my parts, worked my way up until Senior Year when I was eligible for leads. Graduated and moved out here."
"And Santana gave me a file on you from that point on," Rachel admitted. "Things like articles, roles you were considered for and then turned down, roles you went out for and weren't called back. All that stuff. She even has info on women you've dated longer then two or three times."
"She's psychotic," he mumbled. "Maybe she's the stalker?"
"Do you two have a personal relationship?"
"Huh? Oh. God no. No San strictly likes the ladies. She's actually engaged to Brittany. I introduced them five years ago when Britt moved here from New York to teach dance at Millennium."
"Well, then it's not Santana," Rachel agreed. The letters firmly implied an imagined love affair between the writer and Noah; this wasn't an obsession for any other reason then unhealthy attraction that had developed into a believed relationship. "Ready to go?"
"Yes please," he muttered, standing up quickly and helping Rachel from her chair. "I know it's my job to be looked at and that Blaine and Santana wanted us seeming lovey dovey so that I'd agree to this whole thing. But I really don't like it."
"I don't blame you. I feel like I've got a sniper on my back."
"Nice if slightly disturbing reference," he commented, holding open the door for Rachel and subtly inserting his body between her and the photographers. Seconds later he was frowning as she slipped around him so that she was between him and the photographers. He then winced when she pinched his side hard as he again tried to maneuver them. "Hi guys," he finally greeted the paps politely and began walking back towards the office. They had agreed earlier that they would be going to coffee and then back to Noah's, Rachel following him in her rental car.
"Hey Noah!" came a chorus of voices. "Who's the girl Noah?" a single voice distinguished itself and Noah recognized a photographer from TMZ who was slightly less obnoxious then most.
"Just an old friend from Ohio," he replied with a subtle wink as he slung his arm around Rachel's shoulders loosely so he didn't move her jacket and reveal the shoulder holster to the group that was trying to close in on them. It was like sharks with blood, four photographers had become eight since he first noticed them. "She's in town for a while just to catch up."
"How good of a friend?" someone else shouted and Noah just laughed rather then responding. "That good huh? Where's she staying?"
"Around," he replied, sliding his arm down to the small of her back in a calculated move that would get her to walk quicker but would also look like he was trying to grab her ass. Every person with a camera would now think they were sleeping together; which would normally bother the private man but for the sake of his image no one would ever infer that Rachel was anything other then a potential girlfriend.
He heard her groan when they both realized the parking garage was covered as well; not that he was surprised being that this was CAA and the building constantly had celebrities in and out because of meetings with their agents. He quickly slid his hand down and grabbed Rachel's, interlocking their fingers, tugging her towards the main doors and pulling her along with him inside.
"They can't come in here. We'll go down to the garage from inside and you can follow me to my house. You've got your stuff right?"
"Yes; I came right from the airport. Blaine told you I'm staying with you?"
"Yea, unfortunately," he replied with a shrug. "He mentioned that yesterday. And it's nothing against you personally," he added before she got offended. "I just like my privacy."
"I understand Noah. And the LAPD are hopefully going to figure this out quickly so I can get out of your hair. Then you'll never have to deal with me again."
He smiled tightly back at her as they stepped into the elevator and squashed down the urge to tell her not to get too ahead of herself. Instead he went back to their light joking banter, "Just so you know, turnabouts fair play. I wanna hear everything when we get back to mine."
"So long as I won't be compromising national security you can know anything."
"Now now little girl, there are ways of making you talk."
"Noah?"
"Yes."
"I've got a gun."
"Right. Sorry."
Part Three
A/N: first off since this is 12 pages long I'm thinking this story will be longer then 5 parts - I just need to get the history/backstory out of the way first.
Secondly - Well, there's Puck's life up until that point. Everything post college has been pretty monotonous and focused on his career. He's actually very serious about his craft which is why there wasn't much to tell Rachel that Santana couldn't have compiled and handed over to her in writing. Hopefully this showed what a few subtle changes to canon early on could do to the entire history of the cast. I forgot how excruciatingly difficult ironing out the details so they make sense and fit together can be with an AU.
Ex: No Rachel means - Ryerson didn't get fired, so Schue didn't take over Glee Club and recruit Finn; therefore, Quinn wasn't feeling threatened in her relationship so she had no reason to sleep with Puck, so no Beth and as a result no juvie/breakdown. But also since Ryerson wasn't fired, logically the Glee director would run the musical, leading to Puck's unfortunate interactions with him Junior Year and his brief glimpse as the hell that was Sandy Ryerson's Glee. Also, I sat here and wondered about Schue himself and realized that there was always the possibility that he might not have found out about Terri's pregnancy (bitch was batshit) and what would his already slightly unstable self be like after 9 months of that - cause remember, she found out she wasn't pregnant before she found out about Quinn and her sister was the one with the idea for "adopting". That family was so insane I fully believe that idea would have come up without Quinn being pregnant. And Schue's borderline creepy obsession with Finn and tendency to overlook any good on Puck's part unless it serves his own purpose is basically canon documentation and I don't see that changing with or without Rachel's presence.
Rachel's "story" will be in the next part when they're back at Puck's house. It might be a lot different then what people are expecting. At least Puck grew up in Lima/McKinley - keep in mind Rachel spent high school and college in Washington DC, she's a very differently molded person then the Rachel Berry we all known and love from the show.
**Inherit the Wind is a dramatic play that debuted in 1955 and is a fictionalized account of the 1925 Scopes "Monkey" Trial, which resulted in John T. Scopes's conviction for teaching Charles Darwin's theory of evolution to a high school science class, contrary to a Tennessee state law that prohibited the teaching of evolution. It was used as a means to discuss the then-contemporary McCarthy trials.
The role of Matthew Harrison Brady, the prosecutor and fictional version of William Jennings Bryan, that Noah played was also portrayed by George C. Scott in the 1998 film version and Charles Durning in the 1996 Broadway revival. Coincidentally George C. Scott also played Henry Drummond (Kurt's role), the defense attorney, one of Brady's old friends and fictional version of Clarence Darrow, in the 1996 revival opposite Durning (I was lucky enough to see these two amazing actors on stage in the play).
Chapter: Two
Characters: Puck/Rachel, Blaine, Finn, Kurt, Santana and various others in unexpected places.
Rating: R
Word Count: ~7400
Genre: Romance, Drama, Future AU
Warnings: Language
Summary:
Noah Puckerman is used to being noticed; but when he begins to get the
wrong kind of attention his team hires the least likely bodyguard
imaginable. Now he has to convince the world that she's his girlfriend
without actually falling for her in the process.
Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy, Fox, et al. own Glee. I own nothing (quite literally) and am making absolutely no profit from this endeavor.
Prompt: Puck is a celebrity with a stalker. Rachel is his unlikely bodyguard. -
puckrachel drabble meme (by:
shaesweetie)
------
Fifteen minutes later Noah found himself sitting across from Rachel at the Starbucks down the street from CAA's office building, studying his coffee cup and wondering what she was seeing that he wasn't. Since the moment they walked out of the office building Rachel had appeared completely relaxed as she strolled along next to him; but he had noticed that her eyes seemed to take in every single person they passed as if she was cataloging them in her mind quickly before moving onto the next one.
Now he was just waiting for her attention to be fully on him again; because she was doing the same thing she had been on the street only far more intensely now that they were stationary at a table. It was more then a little disconcerting for the actor; mostly, since to anyone looking at them he could tell it would look like they were on an awkward first date and searching for a conversation topic.
He ignored the internal voice that told him they were doing exactly that.
"Sooo," he finally prompted when she met his eyes again. "Tell me what's up with you. Beyond the glaringly obvious last name difference; it has been quite a few years."
He smirked when she blushed slightly and waited until she answered. Unfortunately it wasn't full of babbling, halfway defensive answers, as he was expecting and he had to remind himself that he wasn't sitting across from a thirteen year old girl who was sort of a friend by default due to their parents friendship. He was sitting across from a thirty-two year old woman who was obviously very different.
"It's a really long story and I don't want to get into it in public," she started and then lowered her voice. "The walls have ears and since we don't know who is stalking you I'd prefer any information that might imply my profession to not be overheard. The idea is that I'm your girlfriend, not your bodyguard. Remember? Those were your stipulations from what Mr. Anderson told me."
"First off, you should probably call him Blaine if you're my girl," Noah responded with a slight laugh. "Also, maybe cool down the professionalism a bit?"
He watched her exhale and blinked as a transformation suddenly came over her; gone was the cool, slightly standoffish, posture and in it's place was a relaxed, smiling woman who was giving him exactly what he had mentioned in the office. Apparently Rachel had some really impressive googly eyes. If he didn't know for a fact that this was the first time they had seen each other in years he'd swear he was sitting across from a woman who was completely smitten with him.
"Geez, maybe San was right. She should represent you," he muttered and laughed when she smirked back at him.
"I'm very talented," she replied simply. "The key to my job has almost always been the ability to observe, adapt, blend in and play a role if necessary. Right now I'm your old friend from Ohio that you're dating exclusively. Call it the best application of both my strongest interests."
"Which are?"
"Acting and psychology," she responded. "But seriously, enough about me while we're here. Tell me how Noah Puckerman went from a preteen mohawked jock in Lima, Ohio to an Oscar nominated actor in Hollywood. 'Cause, I have to admit Noah, I would have never expected thirteen year old you to turn into this."
"Feeling's mutual babe," he joked back, raising an eyebrow. If he was being honest he'd almost have expected them to switch professions if they were going by their early teenaged personalities. "Honestly though?" he continued. "It really wasn't anything too insane; the short of it is that I got in trouble one day during my Junior Year of High School and our principal decided that I should be forced to work on the spring musical as punishment. I found out pretty quickly that I liked the acting part."
"Oh please Noah. You used to bitch at me constantly about blabbering on all about Broadway and how I was going to be a star one day. There has got to be more to the story then what you're telling me. Besides, I'm supposed to know all this as your loving girlfriend. So channel that writer you played a few years ago and make with the exposition."
Noah blinked at her comment and before he explained he had to ask one question, "You saw that? It didn't even get picked up for distribution."
The movie she was referring to was an independent thriller he had starred in two years earlier at minimum SAG pay scale as a favor to a friend from college who had basically no budget to work with (he would have worked for free if it wouldn't have caused issues with the union). It had been shown at a few festivals and had been a favorite at Sundance but was a little too controversial for any major distributors to pick it up for a wide release. Since then his performance as a schizophrenic horror writer who didn't realize he was acting out the scenes he wrote was one of his favorites (one of the critics favorites too) but wasn't exactly easy to come by even if it was on DVD.
"I've seen everything you've been in Noah," she admitted. "Or at least everything on film. First thing I saw was "Morning Skies", I didn't know you were in it and I wasn't sure at first it was you; then when I saw the credits and saw your name I was so proud of you. So I made a point to try and support you anyway I could. And that was by making sure I saw all your performances. You're really very talented."
"Wow," he whispered and felt himself smiling. The fact that Rachel Berry, who once told him she'd be the toast of Broadway, was telling him he was talented and that she was proud of him, somehow felt better then the four Oscar nominations he'd received over the last few years. "Morning Skies was my first real film work. Or at least the first thing I was recognizable for," he explained. "I wasn't sure what kind of acting I wanted to do yet; but I wasn't about to say no to anything directed by Martin Scorsese. Even if I did get blown to hell in the first forty minutes; but that's a Civil War movie for you. Everyone gets blown to hell eventually."
"It was a really good film," Rachel agreed. "Not surprisingly, as you said - Scorsese was directing. I actually saw it with the first daughter at the time," she added quietly. "She had quite the crush on you."
Noah laughed at that comment and couldn't help joking back, "Why didn't you tell her you could have gotten in touch with me? I woulda signed something. Hell, back then I would have signed ten somethings for any type of recognition."
"Oh fuck no," Rachel immediately replied. "That kid was the biggest brat I've ever met." That comment had him choking on his coffee to keep from cracking up completely and drawing too much attention to them; people were generally apathetic to celebrities in Los Angeles, but only to an extent. Drawing too much attention to yourself usually means you'll get bothered by fans. "But we're off track again. How'd you go from the Noah Puckerman I knew to Corporal John Kepper in Morning Skies? Tell me about you."
"Okay, here goes," Noah began and decided to do what she told him. Make with the exposition. "I went to McKinley, obviously. Joined football, played wide receiver and behaved exactly as everyone expected I should. I'm not exactly proud of it now or anything but I'll admit, I was an asshole. I bullied the geeks and slacked off in school 'cause as long as I had that C+ average to play football it was enough. I slept around with cheerleaders and the cougars in town and was generally just waiting to get out of High School. I never really wanted more and since no one expected more from me I didn't try for more. Does that make sense?"
"Completely," Rachel replied nodding. "And that's not just my psych degree talking," she added. "Remember what I was like back then? Everyone expected me to be that way so I never had a reason to change it."
He chuckled and nodded before continuing, "Well, you met Finn at the office. He and I have been best friends since we were about six and to be honest, some days, looking back on it I have no idea why. He should have dropped me like a bad habit when we were kids 'cause I don't think I ever gave a real shit about him until I didn't have him around anymore," he mumbled the last part and debated explaining since it was still a painful memory that only reinforced how stupid he had been as a teenager.
"I'm confused," Rachel prompted, tilting her head slightly as though examining a puzzle.
He waited a few beats and finally muttered, "Fuck it. Alright, so, back then I was really jealous of Finn. He was the QB and he was everyone's stereotypical midwestern golden boy. I never understood why; he was always with me when I did shit to the so-called losers, but since he just stood around and looked dopey no one ever blamed him for it. It's not even like he tried to stop me, but apathy was apparently forgivable. So, I started letting this bitterness grow and instead of changing my own behavior I decided that the reason Finn was considered supposedly perfect was because of his girlfriend. He was one half of McKinley's golden couple; even though we were only Sophomores. Quinn Fabray, the beautiful blonde, Christian, head cheerleader," he trailed off and rolled his eyes at the memories as he took a sip of his coffee and then checked Rachel's expression. It was obvious she taking in everything he was saying, though her eyes were still trailing around the room as people moved in and out of the coffee shop.
"I think I remember her," Rachel commented, surprising him. "She lived near my house. She was kind of a bitch."
"Understatement," Noah responded. "Unfortunately, I found that out the hard way. We were at a party that Finn couldn't go to and we had each had a few drinks so I got this brilliant idea to kiss the chastity queen. Got one hell of a slap for it too."
Rachel giggled as he shook his head quickly, remembering the force which with Quinn had hit him. At the time it had pissed him off; hindsight being what it was he was never more thankful to be hit in his life.
"What happened then?" she asked him when Noah had fallen silent for a few beats, arranging his thoughts.
"Oh, that's when picture perfect Quinn Fabray showed her true colors," he admitted. "The next Monday I got to school and Finn basically beat the hell out of me for making a move on his girlfriend. Took damn near a full year to get him to talk to me again and most of Junior Year to get us back to where we had been."
"Ouch," Rachel muttered. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It was my dick move. I've got mixed feelings on the subject now. On one hand, I'm very thankful in the long run that she didn't go for it 'cause then I'd have been stuck with her for a while, possibly a whole month, and probably never would have gotten my friendship with Finn back. On the other hand, I wish she had because then Finn wouldn't have been stuck with her until halfway through our Freshmen Year of college."
"They dated that long?"
"Finn's very...trusting."
"How'd they break up?"
"She got expelled from her super Christian college down in Texas when she got caught having sex with some guy."
"They expelled her from college for having sex?" the incredulous tone in Rachel's voice was unmistakable.
"Yea," he replied. "Apparently it is immoral and deviant behavior in those circles."
"Damn."
"Uh-huh; I'd have been burned at the damn stake."
"Me too," Rachel admitted, prompting a laugh from both of them.
"Oh! Best parts of the whole Quinn-drama? The guy in Texas knocked her up, 'cause apparently she was from the school of thought that you can't get pregnant your first time and no one had ever taught her about birth control in any form. Even better? Bitch hated me in high school; three years ago she started emailing Finn asking him for my contact information. It's like suddenly I'm famous and she wants to pretend like we were friends."
This comment had Rachel's head shooting up and Noah furrowed his brow in confusion, waiting for whatever had caught her attention, "I need her contact info."
"Whyyy?" he trailed out. "We don't want to talk to that psycho-bitch."
"You're being stalked by a female Noah," she hissed.
"Oh fuck no. It's not Quinn. Believe me. We checked that shit out immediately. She's still in Lima, disappointingly single and the cheerleading coach."
"Oh," Rachel muttered. "Well, that woulda been too easy anyway."
"Yea. So what else do you want to know?"
"Let's see," she mumbled, tapping her lips with her pointer finger as she smirked. "Oh, I know. How'd you become me?"
"I told you. I got in trouble for tossing a geek into a dumpster and had to help out with the spring production during Junior Year."
"Helping out with the spring production doesn't necessarily lead to four Oscar nods Noah," Rachel replied, whining slightly and kicked him lightly under the table before glaring at his laughter. "Stop teasing me."
"Alright, alright," he shot back, holding his hands up as if to placate her. "So, I was supposed to just be manual labor and one day I got there early 'cause I skipped last period to fuck around with my guitar since the acoustics in the auditorium were pretty fucking good for a shitty public high school. I was just fiddling around with a song I was writing and started singing the melody over it to see how it tied together and our creepy as fuck director overheard me. Next thing I know he's got me reading lines opposite the female lead. The next day I found out that the male lead had been bumped back to understudy and my weekday afternoons and Saturday mornings belonged to him and McKinley High School's production of High School Musical. I tried to get out of it but Mr. Ryerson convinced Principal Figgins that it'd keep me too busy to cause trouble at school; so Figgins told me he'd use my participation as some overall extra credit which would put my average in the B range. So I was stuck with Ryerson for the next semester."
"Huh," Rachel replied, looking surprised. "That was lucky."
"No shit," Noah joked back. "Even if I had to dance around and sing Disney songs for five months all for a four show production."
"But you found out what you wanted to do for the rest of your life."
"Truth."
"So, why was he creepy?"
"Huh?"
"You said your director was creepy as fuck and then stressed that you were stuck with Ryerson for the semester, not stuck with the musical."
"Oh! Yea, that. Let's just say that the worst kept secret in Lima was that Sandy Ryerson liked teenage boys; except no one had any proof. I just figured he thought I was hot and wanted to stare at my ass. Kurt finally convinced me around March that I, quote, far from sucked."
"Kurt? Oh, your stylist."
"Yea, he's also Finn's step-brother. Kurt and I started hanging out by default since he was playing Ryan in the show and it was pretty obvious early on that we were the only ones in the cast that could really do more then just barely carry a tune. Since Kurt and I were stuck with each other, Finn and Kurt started hanging out when Finn would come over to make fun of me running my lines. It was weird and I'm still not clear on the details but the next thing I know it's the middle of the summer before Senior Year and Burt and Carole are getting married."
"You realize this sounds like a bad sitcom right?"
"You're the one who wanted to hear what you missed out on when you moved."
"I have a feeling I missed out on dumpster trips."
"Hey! I never would have thrown a chick into a dumpster."
"That's good to hear," Rachel admitted, smiling across the table at him and sending those googly eyes again.
"I just would have slushied you," he finished with a purely evil smirk that had her flipping him off. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. The eyes of puppy love are creepy."
"I can't help it," she responded dryly. "You're just so attractive."
He sent her his flirtiest wink and then thought about what high school with Rachel would have been like and honestly couldn't even begin to picture it, except for one thing, "Ya know, I bet you would have been following Finn around with those puppy eyes. I remember what you were like and that kid was the total stereotypical prince charming wrapped in a football uniform. Did you chase the most popular boy around at your High School?"
"Ugh," Rachel groaned. "Believe me, I got the sunshine and rainbows blinders off really fast in DC. Lima's not exactly the boondocks but compared to the District it was Mayberry. Even a private school in DC wisens you up really quickly."
"I bet," he agreed, thinking of even just being twenty-two and moving to a city like LA, even after living in Columbus for four years.
"Besides, I think you're wrong."
"About what?"
"My apparent theoretical high school crush on Finn."
"Oh?"
"Yep; I'd have probably had a thing for you. Though judging by your explanation of your behavior I'd have covered it up with extreme loathing."
"Nah, babe. You would have hated me. At least until I had to play opposite you since you know you'd be all over the leading lady parts; then I'd have gotten you to drop your panties sooooo fast."
"Ha. Ha," she muttered and then laughed when he winked again. "You're an ass."
"Not really," he assured quickly. "But I bet if anyone is watching us and not listening they're deciding that we're playfully flirting and teasing. See Rachel, you're not the only one who can observe, adapt and act accordingly."
"Touche Mr. Puckerman."
The two smiled at each other for a few seconds before Noah cleared his throat and tried to ignore the tightening in his stomach as she stared back at him. He finally just focused on the training that had led him to be a household name and shrugged flippantly, "It's not like it's that hard to flirt with you. You're fucking gorgeous."
"Why thank you ever so much."
"So what about you?" he asked, immediately changing the subject before he really started flirting with the woman wearing a gun.
"Nuh-uh. We're only up to Junior Year."
"What are you writing an article?" he questioned, only half joking. Only people who had actually been present during the events he was talking about knew this much and if he didn't know she had been tasked to protect leaders of government at one point he'd be nervous that TMZ was going to get some exclusive expose on him.
Noah had worked far too hard over the years to keep his image as uncontroversial as possible; as far as the general public was concerned he was a nice, talented, if somewhat gruff personality who just happened to date a lot. None of the women he dated ever talked to the press, since he tried to stick to somewhat classy women with actual careers these days, and he made sure to stay away from actresses so he avoided any potential issues on future sets. It was this tight lipped control over his personal life (and how grateful was he that the Twitter craze had died down before he really got famous) that made the trashier paparazzi scrounge for any tiny detail they could get.
"Not at all. Please don't be worried about that Noah," Rachel responded looking concerned. "I promise, anything you tell me is for my own information so I can suss out what this stalker is potentially working with."
"Alright, just so you know though, the rest of it is mostly boring. Senior Year was a little shaken up cause I quit football but that's really the extent of it."
"You quit football? You've played since pee-wee league."
"Yea, well, we sucked. Honestly, we were horrendous. Tanaka's coaching was never going to take that team anywhere and since it wasn't going to help me out with a potential college scholarship I decided I needed to get my grades up legitimately and focus on the Drama Club. Kurt and his friends were a big help with that actually."
"Hmmm?"
"Well, his friend Artie started tutoring me towards the end of Junior Year and so we picked it up again our Senior Year. He was a cool kid; he played guitar and piano with the Jazz Band and the orchestra so the last few months of Junior Year he was on lockdown in the auditorium with me and Kurt too. Then there was Tina, she was this ridiculously shy girl who had a really, really nice voice but if you tried to put her on a stage I think she'd have a heart attack. Instead she ran the set design team."
"So she was on lock down with you guys as well?"
"Yup. The four of us pretty much bonded over the sheer stupidity of everyone else by the end of Junior Year. Well, that and the fact that Mr. Ryerson spent the rest of high school stalking us."
"I don't like that word right now Noah."
"Sorry Rach," he muttered. "I was joking about the stalking thing; well, sort of. Ryerson also ran the Glee Club at McKinley and he had conned seven students to join it by that point. They needed twelve to compete so Ryerson was convinced that if he could get the four of us involved then tracking down one more member wouldn't be a problem."
"You were in Glee Club too?"
"Didn't you hear me say trying to convince us? The Glee Club was horrible. Like, legitimately bad. I'm not just talking about social suicide, hell I was in Drama. I'm talking how they sounded. Every single one of those seven was convinced that they should be the lead, so trying to get them to sing together and harmonize was like trying to squeeze blood from a rock. Mercedes was the worst of the lot. She was really good friends with Kurt, Tina and Artie until we started working on High School Musical. She kept insisting she wasn't an actress; she was a singer. Almost like it was beneath her or something," he explained, shrugging and looking annoyed at the thought considering how he now made his living. "Then she was pissed at them for being friends with me. That part I kind of understood; though for the most part I left Tina alone even before I really got to know her. Mostly 'cause she sort of worked her ass of to blend into the woodwork, as much as a goth kid can blend at least."
Rachel laughed at the explanation and asked, "Are you talking about Tina Cohen-Chang?"
"Yea, you know her?"
"Noah! She went to Temple with us for years. Her Mom's Jewish."
"Huh; I guess she did blend," he muttered, thinking back to their childhood before he was old enough for his Mom to stop forcing him to go to Temple weekly.
"I guess," Rachel agreed laughing lightly. "So, no Glee Club?"
"No Glee Club," he repeated shaking his head. "I mean, it could have been fun if they had any hope in hell of getting their shit together but the four of us went to one practice at the beginning of Senior Year and practically feared the choir room after that. I mean, I didn't blow off music or anything, but it was all out of school. Mostly Artie and I just fucked around with our guitars when we hung out and we'd occasionally get Tina to sing with us. Kurt you couldn't shut up, he needed no encouragement when I was playing. Though he did tend to complain about song choice and tried to get me to learn more then one musical score. Once in a blue moon Finn would play drums if we were all at him and Kurt's house hanging out; but usually if I was over there it was just to see Finn 'cause he was a little freaked out by my new friends and he was less then thrilled with the whole football thing."
"Awe you had your own little band!" she giggled through the words; obviously choosing to ignore the slightly bitter tone he had taken as he spoke of his best friend's reaction to his choices. It was all well past water under the bridge this many years later but sometimes those less then happy years of his childhood still stung.
"Hush woman! We had badass jam sessions."
"Right so sorry; badass jam sessions. I'll remember for future reference."
"Anyone ever told you that you've gotten more sarcastic in your old age."
"Anyone ever tell you it's rude to call a woman old?" she asked in response and adjusted her jacket.
Noah paled at the words and he quickly changed the subject rather then backpeddalling, "So yea anyway, where was I? Right. Senior Year. I didn't really want to do another musical; especially since Ryerson wanted to do High School Musical 2. Even Kurt hated that idea; but Kurt was also lobbying for Cabaret with him as Sally Bowles."
"Oh God."
"Exactly," Noah replied, snorting slightly. "He wanted me to play The Emcee. I looked that shit up at the time and shut it down quick. Instead I found the production I really wanted to do that fall. Artie and Tina were easy enough to convince. Kurt was more difficult but once I promised him the second lead he was good. Once I got him on board the four of us basically blitz attacked the rest of the Drama Club and somehow, by the grace of God, got the school to agree to a drama instead of a musical without them knowing which play it was."
"Oh geez Noah. What'd you do?" Rachel questioned and he grinned when he realized she was hanging off his every word. He knew they paid him big money for a reason; he's badass at drama.
"Inherit the Wind**. Too bad Ryerson flipped out and walked since he refused to 'not partake in a musical endeavor.' We weren't that broken up until we realized we needed a faculty adviser. Thankfully our Spanish teacher's personal life was up shit's creek and he had a lot of free time and a bit of an over zealous theatre bug himself. The man didn't have a clue about what he was doing but we let him pretend to be the director while Artie really took care of everything," Noah continued explaining, smirking as he thought of Mr. Schuester's bumbling attempts at team building and group bonding.
The man had never understood that not one member of McKinley High's Drama Club cared that most of them hated each other outside of the auditorium; inside of it they tolerated each other's presence and worked together so they, personally, didn't look like idiots come opening night. Noah still laughed whenever he remembered Kurt explaining to Schue that they were theatre geeks and were more likely to bash each other's knees in over a role then actually make nice off of the stage. But for the whole year Schue kept calling them a "family" and got teary eyed until they finally agreed so that they could move onto the next scene. Tina had been convinced that it was because of his train wreck of a marriage to the psycho from Sheets N' Things who had pretended to be pregnant right up until her ninth month and then had no baby to show for it.
Now that had been one massive scandal in Lima once it made the gossip rounds.
"So yea, we did Inherit the Wind and it went off pretty damn well. Got my first review in the local paper for it too," he joked and wiggled his eyebrows with a fake sigh which turned into a snicker when Rachel half glared at him as he channeled her at thirteen. "Which was impressive considering it was a play put on by high school students with a director who had no clue what he was doing. Made worse by the fact that it was still slightly controversial subject matter considering we were in Ohio and were basically spitting distance from the Bible Belt."
"Did you have problems?"
"Well, not really. Remember what I said about Quinn and the birth control thing?"
"Yea?"
"McKinley taught abstinence only sex ed and while we did learn evolution in science being that it was a public school; there were a lot of kids who's parents were uncomfortable with that idea. So, it just made people a little critical. No one actually did anything."
"Oh, well that's good at least."
"Yea, not that I cared. I was playing Matthew Harrison Brady and no one was going to stop that production as far as I was concerned since I got to play a part that had also been played by George C. Scott and Charles Durning at one point."
"Very true," Rachel mumbled and looked slightly wistful, which left Noah smirking. She still had the bug; he didn't know what had changed to lead her down the path she had pursued in her life but the bug was still there. Which was good, because he didn't think he could remotely relate to her if she didn't still care about all the insanity she had rattled off at one point in her life that had ironically become his. When he was younger he never thought he'd understand what she meant about the freedom of pretending to be someone you aren't and living another life. He couldn't imagine not doing that now.
"You okay?" he decided to ask when the wistful expression didn't leave her face.
"Yea, I am."
"You looked lost for a second there."
"Not lost. Maybe a teensy bit envious; but not lost. The envy doesn't have anything to do with your job though. It's more to do with the fact that you did all that with friends. I never really had friends to work on plays with."
"So you did do the theatre thing?"
"Not past high school," she clarified. "But that's part of the long story for not here."
"Tease."
"Not. At. All," she joked back and winked at him with a leer, grinning when he glared back and shifted in his seat. "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were doing the whole blatant flirting thing for the benefit of the people sitting around us."
"I hate you a little bit right now," Noah grumbled, trying to ignore the tightening in his pants from her little manipulation. He was usually better at this game and decided he was thrown off since he wasn't allowed to legitimately flirt or try to seduce her. He remained quiet, draining the last of his coffee before glancing around and then groaning. "Fucking vultures."
"Huh?"
"Paps outside," he explained with a head nod and watched Rachel turn behind her towards the glass windows to see camera flashes going off, all of which were pointed in their direction. "Probably about four of them," he added, studying the small grouping of people outside staring right at him through the window. "Alright time to give them a show," he added under his breath and reached across the table to intertwine their fingers. "Just roll with it."
"Rolling," she agreed, squeezing his hand and leaning forward slightly while propping her chin up on her free hand. "You were saying?" she added, giggling slightly and once again looking all dopey and smitten. It was almost nauseating because he suddenly realized that all the women he dates tend to look like that; and there's a damn good reason he's never stayed with them longer then a few months. He also knew it would convince the photographers very quickly for that very same reason.
"The rest of senior year was almost an issue; but we ironed it out fairly quickly. I had gotten into OSU and a few other schools but I knew OSU was my best bet 'cause of in-state tuition. The draw back was going to be making sure I got a spot in the Theatre Department. There's always an audition of course; but I knew the best way to get in would be to get someone to come see me in our spring production. Since Kurt had gotten into FIT he wanted to run the costume department, instead of acting, and build up his portfolio and with that in mind he convinced me that the best bet for both of us was showing versatility so we manipulated the Club to voting on doing Grease."
"Ahhh," Rachel interjected. "Drama, music and comedy all in one. Nice."
"Now you talk?"
"Well, I figured we're being photographed and possibly filmed. An even exchange looks better then you just talking at me," was the explanation he received, right along with her foot lightly moving up and down his calf.
"Subtle, very subtle," he muttered, suppressing a shiver. He was right earlier in the office; he was fucked. "So yea, Grease. The problem was Schue."
"Why was your teacher a problem? Did he know even less about directing musical numbers?"
"Actually, no. The man went from incredibly bumbling idiot trying to make nice with his students to a dictator. Suddenly he knew everything and we were just his pawns to be pushed around. I had begged Finn and our friends Mike, Sam, and this kid Dave Karofsky who wasn't exactly our friend but could actually passably sing, to play the T-Bird's since there weren't any guys in the Drama Club who could pull it off convincingly and all three of them could sing well. Or at least, Finn and Sam could sing well and Mike and Dave could passably carry a tune."
"Lemme guess, Mike and Dave played Sonny and Roger?"
"Sort of. No solos. They just had to harmonize with us. Finn was playing Kenickie and Sam was supposed to play Doody."
"Supposed to?"
"Yea, we wound up doing the play by using the film script and songbook because Brittany, who was playing Sandy, was a really sweet girl but she couldn't learn her lines or what she was supposed to do unless she watched the film a few dozen times. So the guys wound up playing basically the same roles; but with their movie counterpart's names. Less singing for Sam off that script, but he didn't care that much."
"The movie's fun too, but, if she had a problem with it, why get involved in the first place?"
"She's a dancer and she had a really nice voice; nothing spectacular but nice. She was Mike's girlfriend and she heard we were doing Grease and decided to audition so she could spend time with Mike and dance. That dragged shit onto Quinn's radar and since Quinn was basically attached at the hip to Finn she was always there; then randomly Schue wanted Quinn to play Sandy instead but I vetoed that immediately. By that point I couldn't even be in the same room as her without wanting to throw things."
"And playing opposite her would have been torture."
"Oh you have no idea," Noah muttered and shook his head in disgust. "But hey, I told her she could play Rizzo if she actually wanted a part in the show. She just got pissed and stormed off after screaming at me over the very idea that she could ever relate to a slutty girl who got herself knocked up out of wedlock. Irony's great isn't it?"
"Well, you did say in an interview last year that you've been told by directors that you have an eye for casting and knowing what a role needs," Rachel responded with with a smirk that matched the one Noah was currently sporting.
"Either that or I'm fucking psychic," he replied, pulling her hand up to his mouth to kiss it and tossing the photographers outside an annoyed expression. Santana would be thrilled; now Rachel could hang around him all the time and no one would question a damn thing about it.
"So was Quinn the issue you had to iron out?"
"No; though I do think Schue wanted her in the role because he so had a hard on for her. She was basically his ex-wife from their high school days which explains so much about Quinn really if you think about it," he mused lightly, thinking back. "Anyway, the problem was that Schue also had a hard on for Finn and decided two weeks into rehearsals in February while we were still blocking that Finn was now playing Danny and I was playing Kenickie. Keep in mind, I had to beg my friends to play these parts so that I'd have a realistic looking cast come opening. I had to explain it to them in football scout terms; but they got it. Finn was over his whining about me and football and he totally understood that this was what I wanted and when Schue decided that shit Finn looked like the rug had been pulled out from under him. I think he took it worse then I did at first."
"What the hell did you do?" Rachel asked him with wide eyes; having been told she did theatre in high school he knew she was thinking of the brick wall you can hit when a faculty adviser makes an executive decision and won't budge on it.
"It was a bad week for Schue," Noah began explaining with a slightly bitter grin. "Finn quit the play completely and Schue spent the week telling Finn all about how he needed to play this role because it would help him go places. How Finn reminded Schue of himself. Didn't Finn want the best person to play the role. Shit like that, shit I had never heard from him despite knocking both of the previous productions I had done at that school out of the park. Finn just refused to come back unless it was as Kenickie with me as Danny. He told Mr. Schue that he didn't care about the play; he cared about his best friend getting into OSU's Theatre program. That compiled with Kurt and Tina "striking" and the rest of the stage crew striking with them and Schue pretty much lost. He made my life a living hell the rest of the time though and had the balls to tell me I had been "just passable" on closing night."
"What the fuck? Who gave that man a teaching degree?"
"That's still up for debate. Not much else to tell. Graduation. OSU, where nothing noteworthy happened and yes I'm being serious about that. I played my parts, worked my way up until Senior Year when I was eligible for leads. Graduated and moved out here."
"And Santana gave me a file on you from that point on," Rachel admitted. "Things like articles, roles you were considered for and then turned down, roles you went out for and weren't called back. All that stuff. She even has info on women you've dated longer then two or three times."
"She's psychotic," he mumbled. "Maybe she's the stalker?"
"Do you two have a personal relationship?"
"Huh? Oh. God no. No San strictly likes the ladies. She's actually engaged to Brittany. I introduced them five years ago when Britt moved here from New York to teach dance at Millennium."
"Well, then it's not Santana," Rachel agreed. The letters firmly implied an imagined love affair between the writer and Noah; this wasn't an obsession for any other reason then unhealthy attraction that had developed into a believed relationship. "Ready to go?"
"Yes please," he muttered, standing up quickly and helping Rachel from her chair. "I know it's my job to be looked at and that Blaine and Santana wanted us seeming lovey dovey so that I'd agree to this whole thing. But I really don't like it."
"I don't blame you. I feel like I've got a sniper on my back."
"Nice if slightly disturbing reference," he commented, holding open the door for Rachel and subtly inserting his body between her and the photographers. Seconds later he was frowning as she slipped around him so that she was between him and the photographers. He then winced when she pinched his side hard as he again tried to maneuver them. "Hi guys," he finally greeted the paps politely and began walking back towards the office. They had agreed earlier that they would be going to coffee and then back to Noah's, Rachel following him in her rental car.
"Hey Noah!" came a chorus of voices. "Who's the girl Noah?" a single voice distinguished itself and Noah recognized a photographer from TMZ who was slightly less obnoxious then most.
"Just an old friend from Ohio," he replied with a subtle wink as he slung his arm around Rachel's shoulders loosely so he didn't move her jacket and reveal the shoulder holster to the group that was trying to close in on them. It was like sharks with blood, four photographers had become eight since he first noticed them. "She's in town for a while just to catch up."
"How good of a friend?" someone else shouted and Noah just laughed rather then responding. "That good huh? Where's she staying?"
"Around," he replied, sliding his arm down to the small of her back in a calculated move that would get her to walk quicker but would also look like he was trying to grab her ass. Every person with a camera would now think they were sleeping together; which would normally bother the private man but for the sake of his image no one would ever infer that Rachel was anything other then a potential girlfriend.
He heard her groan when they both realized the parking garage was covered as well; not that he was surprised being that this was CAA and the building constantly had celebrities in and out because of meetings with their agents. He quickly slid his hand down and grabbed Rachel's, interlocking their fingers, tugging her towards the main doors and pulling her along with him inside.
"They can't come in here. We'll go down to the garage from inside and you can follow me to my house. You've got your stuff right?"
"Yes; I came right from the airport. Blaine told you I'm staying with you?"
"Yea, unfortunately," he replied with a shrug. "He mentioned that yesterday. And it's nothing against you personally," he added before she got offended. "I just like my privacy."
"I understand Noah. And the LAPD are hopefully going to figure this out quickly so I can get out of your hair. Then you'll never have to deal with me again."
He smiled tightly back at her as they stepped into the elevator and squashed down the urge to tell her not to get too ahead of herself. Instead he went back to their light joking banter, "Just so you know, turnabouts fair play. I wanna hear everything when we get back to mine."
"So long as I won't be compromising national security you can know anything."
"Now now little girl, there are ways of making you talk."
"Noah?"
"Yes."
"I've got a gun."
"Right. Sorry."
Part Three
A/N: first off since this is 12 pages long I'm thinking this story will be longer then 5 parts - I just need to get the history/backstory out of the way first.
Secondly - Well, there's Puck's life up until that point. Everything post college has been pretty monotonous and focused on his career. He's actually very serious about his craft which is why there wasn't much to tell Rachel that Santana couldn't have compiled and handed over to her in writing. Hopefully this showed what a few subtle changes to canon early on could do to the entire history of the cast. I forgot how excruciatingly difficult ironing out the details so they make sense and fit together can be with an AU.
Ex: No Rachel means - Ryerson didn't get fired, so Schue didn't take over Glee Club and recruit Finn; therefore, Quinn wasn't feeling threatened in her relationship so she had no reason to sleep with Puck, so no Beth and as a result no juvie/breakdown. But also since Ryerson wasn't fired, logically the Glee director would run the musical, leading to Puck's unfortunate interactions with him Junior Year and his brief glimpse as the hell that was Sandy Ryerson's Glee. Also, I sat here and wondered about Schue himself and realized that there was always the possibility that he might not have found out about Terri's pregnancy (bitch was batshit) and what would his already slightly unstable self be like after 9 months of that - cause remember, she found out she wasn't pregnant before she found out about Quinn and her sister was the one with the idea for "adopting". That family was so insane I fully believe that idea would have come up without Quinn being pregnant. And Schue's borderline creepy obsession with Finn and tendency to overlook any good on Puck's part unless it serves his own purpose is basically canon documentation and I don't see that changing with or without Rachel's presence.
Rachel's "story" will be in the next part when they're back at Puck's house. It might be a lot different then what people are expecting. At least Puck grew up in Lima/McKinley - keep in mind Rachel spent high school and college in Washington DC, she's a very differently molded person then the Rachel Berry we all known and love from the show.
**Inherit the Wind is a dramatic play that debuted in 1955 and is a fictionalized account of the 1925 Scopes "Monkey" Trial, which resulted in John T. Scopes's conviction for teaching Charles Darwin's theory of evolution to a high school science class, contrary to a Tennessee state law that prohibited the teaching of evolution. It was used as a means to discuss the then-contemporary McCarthy trials.
The role of Matthew Harrison Brady, the prosecutor and fictional version of William Jennings Bryan, that Noah played was also portrayed by George C. Scott in the 1998 film version and Charles Durning in the 1996 Broadway revival. Coincidentally George C. Scott also played Henry Drummond (Kurt's role), the defense attorney, one of Brady's old friends and fictional version of Clarence Darrow, in the 1996 revival opposite Durning (I was lucky enough to see these two amazing actors on stage in the play).