updates here are mostly in the middle of the night. that's really cause this is the timing when there are too many thoughts running through my head. 2020 and the world is in chaos and i'm in a mentally messed up state again. maybe not so bad this time round cause i know i won't go back down that black hole and disappear again. i'm stronger than ( Read more... )

eh okay, it has been more than 2 years since i last posted something here. let's just update with random thoughts cause it's fun reading back on such stuff. i always tell myself that "i gotta do this, i gotta start on that.." but it only happens after much, much procrastination or when it gets almost too late. like i would tell myself to start ( Read more... )

the two kinds of qns i hate the most now:
how are you?/are you okay?
what have you been up to?

i wish you could pull me in again like that day and hugged me so tightly that i actually didn't feel myself falling apart from all the doubts and fears.

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I didn't have a happy start to the new year at all.. spent it in tears before and after. It was a deja vu of 2011, spending both my christmas and new year at home crying. I'm really upset and sick of myself. I know I'm running away from reality, running around directionless and lost. What can I do when I don't even know what I want to do right? I ( Read more... )

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