So it seems that my "just for today" affirmations have really helped. Things have been going pretty well, I'm really hoping they stay that way. I am feeling lonely though. Everyone on my facebook (and where I live) goes to church and seems to really enjoy it. I just feel lonely cause I'm the odd man out because I don't believe in god. I feel like I ( Read more... )

Yes I'm back, Again... Hiss is at work and I miss him badly. I get lonely on days like this. Hiss won't talk to me and then he leaves and it feels like I have no one to communicate with. I just wish I could give him that spark that I feel every time I'm around him. I feel like he is falling out of love with me and it breaks my heart. I want him to ( Read more... )

compare myself to Heather. Every time I do something wrong I always think to myself, Heather could have done that better or Heather would do this differently. Right now it's Heather could get him off! I always feel like such a failure. No matter how hard I try it's never good enough. Is it so bad to think while having sex "please let me be like ( Read more... )

I still dont know how we are gonna pay our bills, nic laid off the beer for now but we only have 325 dollars in the bank.. We need 343$ and EPB charge of 75 is still pending, nic gets payed thursday but I worry it wont be enough. I sure wish they would call me about my food stamps. I sure could use them!

thank you heather for taking half of our paycheck this week! The other day (friday) she sent drake over here without feeding him so I had to which made me really mad! We give her a 100$ and she cant buy food with it? So now we have to scrape together for food for ourselves. We dont have any money to buy food and she does yet I'm the one feeding him ( Read more... )

I hate having bad dreams, they ruin my day. Although I cant remember out and out what the dream was last night it had to do with me yelling at Nic and telling him I hated him! This makes me so sad and today I have an unsettled feeling like something bad will happen. I'm really emotional right now and just want nic here to wrap his arms around me ( Read more... )

I need to apply for food stamp really bad! I'm so worried we are not gonna be able to pay our bills. I love living here so I must keep everything in order. I just got sick yesterday and picked up nic's crud. I feel really bad like I'm going to puke but at the same time I'm hungry. There is nothing to make for dinner except cornbread and I have some ( Read more... )

shitty sex with shitty blow jobs and shitty porn. shitty ass fucking with shitty husbands. shitty life. shitty fireworks. Shitty crying. shitty depression. shitty medicines with shitty results. Shitty living arrangements. shitty fake happiness with shitty uncaring. Shitty friends. shitty books. Shitty sadness. shitty fake. shitty real. Shitty ( Read more... )

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I hate coming home. I just went to the aquarium with Nic and drake and I had to come home afterwards because his mom picked us up and I didnt think I could get a ride from his house later because my mom is being a bitch. I got really sad when I arrived home and am now about to cry. I like being aroud nic and his family. They pose a symbol of ( Read more... )