honestly...as awful as the drive was for you...I do think you 'took it easy' emotionally. Staying would have been far worse I bet. I've done the same thing under similar circumstances. Definitely not the best of circumstances as crying and driving through shitty weather are not a good mix...but you set your boundaries, and that has to feel SO MUCH BETTER than swallowing more of the family shit.
I know how possible it is to love a family member a lot, and still be that tweaked by staying with them. My solution is to really control the circumstances of visiting said family members. Staying in a hotel, or at a friend's house nearby, or having them drive halfway and meet me for lunch...
I have other friends with very screwed up parents and they've taken similar measures. We don't have to go through that stuff anymore. We're adults. I'm so glad you CHOSE how much you would take, and when enough was enough...well done indeed. :-) (hugs)
you're exactly right. i'm an ADULT. i'm impressed with myself for doing it, too. a person like my dad has never had anyone say "no" to him, or set boundaries. He's pissed off because finally, someone is standing up to him. it's really unfortunate that my stay had to end in such a yucky way, but he knows that he is not entirely innocent.
i had therapy for 2 years in my early 20's to help me deal with him... amazed at how assertive i became - still hurts to hear him say shitty stuff, but i know it's a tactic to make him feel better. he likes people to need him and when they don't he resorts to dirty tactics.
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I know how possible it is to love a family member a lot, and still be that tweaked by staying with them. My solution is to really control the circumstances of visiting said family members. Staying in a hotel, or at a friend's house nearby, or having them drive halfway and meet me for lunch...
I have other friends with very screwed up parents and they've taken similar measures. We don't have to go through that stuff anymore. We're adults. I'm so glad you CHOSE how much you would take, and when enough was enough...well done indeed. :-) (hugs)
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i had therapy for 2 years in my early 20's to help me deal with him... amazed at how assertive i became - still hurts to hear him say shitty stuff, but i know it's a tactic to make him feel better. he likes people to need him and when they don't he resorts to dirty tactics.
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