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I haven't posted for a while
Because I was really hoping I didn't need to ( Read more... ) -
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1 cup of peanuts = 900 calories. I have a giant bag of peanuts. I will do this. I will gain at least a few pounds before I go home, then I'll buy some high calorie boost and by the end of the week I'll have gained a substantial amount of weight. I can do this. Time to teach my body to receive food, even if I end up looking pregnant for a few days. -
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i don't think i'm ever going to stop burping that taste up. -
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that has to be the stupidest thing i've ever done. all time low here, guys -
shit
i just seriously contemplated drinking my olive oil because it's 40 calories per teaspoon. I will gain 100 lbs if that means she'll be with me forever. -
do you ever feel like you're ruining everything?
I'm so afraid that she'll leave me.
I can't live without her.
I need her in my life.
I'm just so afraid, and I feel like I have no one to talk to. -
today's a new day
yesterday was a bad day. very disordered and disorganized in terms of recovery. what i've realized is that when I catch myself restricting, I have a habit of punishing myself by eating something high calorie. This does nothing but make me feel worse and want to purge. So no more. Today I'm starting my day off with a breakfast of who-knows-how-many ( Read more... ) -
I need to man the fuck up
Today I weighed myself and was the same weight as yesterday. Instead of being proud that I didn't lose any overnight, I was happy that I hadn't gained in some sly, sick way. So I went to the grocery store and bought some high calorie snacks that I am GOING to eat, and I won't let it take me all week, like the way I've been working through my one ( Read more... ) -
feeling a bit discouraged
somehow managed to lose weight over the weekend. It wasn't a lot, but I was actually expecting/hoping/trying to gain weight, given that it was Easter. I even made myself eat a late night snack last night, even though I wasn't actually hungry, cause I didn't think that I'd eaten enough. darn. also, the lack of fresh fruit and vegetables is really ( Read more... ) -
recovery, successful?
I have absolutely no idea how many calories I ate yesterday. No clue. Don't know the calories, or the fat, or the sugar. And I'm pretty much okay with that. I was worried that I would really feel the repercussions of that today (be super anxious, etc), but this morning (repeatedly) I looked in the mirror, and not only didn't think of myself as "fat ( Read more... )