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( new colored ink )

to the gym.

My work schedule has plained out and so I've started deveolping a regulated schedule. Now if I could only get up when i want instead of forcing myself to an hour after.

i dont' know what to do with myself anymore. i'm falling apart and i don't know when it's going to end. I'm genually scared of myself.

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I was reading through stuff on the inet and stuff made me kind of sick to my stomach, not sure why, but i'm not digging it. Maybe it's the independent depression? who knows. all i know is i ain't diggin it.

I'm not happy.

There are aspects of my current life situation that make me happy but generally I'm just not happy I'm not sure why or how to fix it.

I like going to the gym but I can't seem to go. Sleeping is more enjoyable in the morning and after work.

I've been looking into the army for something new. A change.

I'm really on the fence about

I'm a danger to myself

always blaming someone else

got a grenade in my mouth

and my finger on the pin ready to rip it out

I'm 23 and life feels as though it's been the same since i was 16 ( Read more... )

So i've been the gym thing regularly for a couple months now. And I know it takes some time for effects to take notice, but thus far the only thing i'm seeing is my forearms getting huge.