Emphatic nodding

[blehmeh05]

I've been trying to articulate my unhappiness with m/m "romance" (actually, any romance, for that matter) in various ways for almost as long as I've been reading the stuff. But I just read a very interesting article containing a sentence that really hit the nail on the head: In the M/M stories...there is a “male” man and a “female” man.

Comments

[blehmeh05]

It was really just the one line from the article that crystalized one of my major complaints with much of the m/m I've read...I agree the author kind of ran off with some very poor argumentation throughout the piece, even if it was an interesting read. Guess I should have made it more clear in my post that my complaints are largely not the same as those presented in the original article.

So yeah, a lot of the things that she makes sound like common practice in m/m are the exception rather than the rule, but it still bums me out that Erastes & Co. seem to be the public face of the genre, seeing as how much of their work does portray these screwy dynamics that offend me. (It was a complaint I was making years ago when I reviewed some of Beecroft's early work for UP, in fact, although I was much nicer about it then. As I recall, she got all huffy about my criticism of the stale dynamics anyway

[tameiki]

...aside from being a penis-receptacle...

*falls over laughing*

Yes, that! As well as "I find the notion of one partner guarding the goodies until twu luv has been declared incredibly insulting." And to add another that I've been slapped in the face with recently over and over and over and over again is this: It's absolutely twoo wub so we must go out and get blood tests so we don't have to buy more condoms. Let's do it now since we're down to only two...

There are a small handful of authors who keep the men as *men* and equal partners instead of feminizing one of the roles so it's the stereotypical bottom who's shorter, smaller of build and needs to be protected from himself at all costs. The big, bad, huge, over-protective dominant/top will always be there to save the poor little, weak bottom who just always so happens to have a long but elegantly thin cock while the top is rather over well-endowed. *rolls eyes*

I like the points you bring out here. More please? :)

[blehmeh05]

Oh, jeeze, I completely forgot about the ridiculous cock size crap that's all over the place! I pretty much leave the nitty-gritty anatomical details to the imagination when I write, but one of these days I just may have to do a scene where a kick-ass top with a 4-inch dick rocks his extremely well-endowed bottom's world.

[tameiki]

...one of these days I just may have to do a scene where a kick-ass top with a 4-inch dick rocks his extremely well-endowed bottom's world.

Do eeeeeeeeeeeeeet! =D

The closest I've seen is in K.A. Mitchell's Collision Course where the bottom, Joey, is truly well hung.

[bleedtoblue]

"In the M/M stories...there is a “male” man and a “female” man."

While it's true in some many cases, it's not in others, but it's not a scenario that I'm fond of. The author paints all m/m with the same brush and seems to imply that there is only one model of m/m relationships. Rape and non-con are not something I want to read about in any literature, especially if they are of the 'falling in love with the rapist' variety. M/m writers are not the only one guilty of that trope.

While the "male" man and the "female" man are not what I want to read, though I can't say with authority that the situation never happens in real life. I eschew stories written that way as well as those that include rape and non-con. If I wanted to read about swooning and helplessness I'd read romance novels.

I really suspect that some women write m/m because they want relationships in which both partners are equal and they aren't able to get that or create that in het. However, I write it and I know others do as well because I saw a relationship between two

[blehmeh05]

Absolutely! I really should have made it more clear that while the original article got me thinking, I actually disagree with a whole lot of what the author was saying. I complain about m/m a lot these days, but there are plenty of m/m stories out there I completely adore, none of which include rape or ugly power dynamics.

Anyway, I should probably tone down the judgmental vibe my screeds seem to be taking on. It's been a long, ugly summer so it's easy to tap the anger, but that's no excuse to get all preachy with the flist or make friends feel bad. Sorry.

[bleedtoblue]

Oh, don't apologize! I'm glad you shared the article and I assumed that you weren't in complete agreement from the get go.

Don't tone down! Righteous anger is good.

And the writing! I'm glad for you and hope the summer is getting better and that fall will be wonderful.

[rzyna]

I find it hit or miss. I'm glad that, so far, I've not read any of the no sex until the declaration of twu wuv fic. Thank god. I like m/m because of the frequent no holds barred lets shag each others brains out and worry about the rest later approach.

I agree with you on the male-male vs female-male issue. I think that's why I've always been drawn toward parings where the partners switch, I think it helps avoid getting stuck in that rut. But I also don't think that always works because there are people out there who prefer one role over the other, sexually anyway. I guess one of the keys there is that the sexual roles don't always have to reflect the outside of the bedroom roles. One day I'd love to see a story where the top is rescued and has his feet swept under him by the bottom.

That being said, there is some utter tripe out there. I've had a few I could barely stomach reading. But there's also some gems out there, too. Hit or miss, I guess.

[blehmeh05]

Yep, hit or miss seems to sum it up quite nicely. For me lately it's just been a lot more of the latter than the former. I think I'm just cranky and taking it out on my hobby. :(