Bulletproof (37/52)
Title: Bulletproof
Author: blasthisass
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: AU- when Luke is shot by Colonel Mayer, his condition quickly deteriorates. In order to save his life, Bob calls in a young, hotshot doctor from Texas, brilliant and already making a name for himself.
Disclaimers: All characters and such property of ATWT, CBS and anyone else who can legally take credit for them. If they were mine, I would take infinitely better care of them.
Title from the song by La Roux. There is dialogue from both the time in which the story takes place as well as the LuRe storyline.
A/N: This is unbeta'd, so any mistakes are mine.
Comments much appreciated . . . I love them like Reid loves Luke.
Previous parts: prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36
***
Noah started, those words the last he’d ever expected. “What?” he inquired, thinking that perhaps he’d misheard.
Luke smiled thoughtfully to himself before turning around and tossing the photograph on the couch. He walked away from the front door and disappeared into Noah and Ameera’s bedroom, leaving the brunette in a state of utmost confusion. Noah squinted after him, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. “I’m sorry, but was that it? Is this discussion over? Did we resolve anything?” he yelled after Luke.
Luke emerged moments later, flattening his coffee-stained T-shirt over his stomach, somehow feeling like its imperfection was better than that of Noah’s button-down, still lying abandoned on the ground where Reid had flung it moments before. “Yeah, we did,” he replied, looking extremely sure of himself and starting to walk toward the door.
Noah stepped in front of him, eyes blazing and showing more emotion than he tended to on a regular basis. “Luke, if this is about Dr. Oliver-”
“This has nothing to do with Reid,” Luke answered truthfully, somehow unable to keep a thoughtful smile from crossing his face. “And it has everything to do with him.”
“Oh, it’s Reid now, is it?” Noah snarled sarcastically, fists clenching.
Luke laughed in disbelief. “Whatever, Noah,” he muttered, trying to step around him. When Noah mirrored his movements, Luke shook his head, looking impeccably annoyed. “You can’t honestly tell me you think you have a right to be mad about this. After all the shit you’ve put me through in the last month alone.”
Noah’s mouth dropped open. “This is about Ameera? You’re seriously walking out on us because I’m trying to do a good thing for her? God, can you be anymore selfish?”
“You know what, I’ve had it up to here with everything,” Luke snarled back. “I have been nothing but selfless and supportive of this since it started even though it fucking killed me. And honestly, Noah, from the moment I met you, I have been fighting for this relationship. I fought against you, Maddie, your dad. Hell, I almost ended up dead. All because of a moment when I realized that I was attracted to you and that I wanted to be with you. And yeah, maybe that was selfish of me, but you came around and if you hadn’t wanted to be there, you wouldn’t have been. And I stood by when you disappeared and had to led back by the hand to our relationship. And yeah, I stood by and let you carry on the mockery of marriage with Ameera while I was shoved into the background. And I didn’t protest. But I’m done being selfless. I don’t think there’s anyone in the fucking world that deserves a little selfishness more than me. I continuously sacrifice myself for everyone around me, but I’m done. I’m done with this charade. I know what I want, what I think will make me happy and I’m no longer letting you stop me from fighting for it.”
Without even waiting to see if Noah would answer, as though he were afraid he would crumble in his resolve if Noah put up a fight, he swept past the brunette and out of the house, his course set, his destination reeling him in like a fish on the line. Noah stood dumbstruck, overwhelmed by the Luke that seemed like he would proclaim his words from the rooftops of the world because he so strongly believed in them.
***
Luke pounded on the door. “Reid? Reid, open up!” He glanced down at the shadow passing across the crack in the bottom of the door before it was wrenched open.
Luke breathed out in relief until he caught Reid looking at him intently. His hair was disheveled and he looked both sad and angry at the same time. “What do you want?”
Luke shook his head, annoyed that Reid was so stubborn that he was set on making this as difficult as possible. That he was ready to thrust his own feelings aside for the sake of his immobility. “To talk-”
“Talking never gets us anywhere, so why bother?” Reid responded, his eyes narrowed, his fist clenched by his side, as though he were trying to control himself and the action took more effort in light of that day’s events.
“Reid-”
Reid shook his head. “I don’t do small talk.”
Luke groaned loudly, glaring at him. “About earlier-”
Reid rolled his eyes, getting the sense that they were simply running around in circles and, experienced runner though he was, he was tired. He was fucking exhausted of running around in circles after Luke and never getting anywhere. And why should this time be any different than all the others. He shook his head curtly and slammed the door so quickly that Luke didn’t even have a moment to process the information and somehow try to stop him.
Luke started, staring at the white-painted wood of the door and actually groaned aloud. In his annoyance he as extremely tempted to simply walk away but his heart nudged him to stay and he knew that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he just left things as they were.
“I’m not going to talk to you though a door!” Luke yelled in frustration.
“That’s the general idea.”
Luke let out an exasperated noise and slid down the wall into a sitting position. He shook his head. He truly didn’t want to yell through the door, but he couldn’t just stand by and let Reid attempt to walk away from this. Because Luke knew that neither of them wanted it. Could ever want it anymore.
He frowned suddenly and leapt to his feet, an idea sparking in his mind. He jogged quickly down the hall and down the stairs, fingering in his pocket for his wallet to save time.
Five minutes later he was back. For safe measures, he rapped his knuckles on the door, only to receive a shout of “Don’t make me take out a restraining order, Mr. Snyder!” in response. Luke shook his head, suppressing an amused chuckle and slid down into a sitting position once more. He ripped a page out of his new notebook and scribbled This is so stupid. Will you just talk to me? on it before folding it in half twice and shoving it under the door. He knocked again and smiled triumphantly when he saw Reid’s shadow appear in the doorway, as though to perhaps open the door and yell at him, then pause and bend down. He considered it a minor breakthrough. He wasn’t expecting Reid to go along with anything of the sort, but at least he knew that he could try to communicate this way. He ripped out another page.
Reid, come on. We can’t fight this anymore. Hell, I can’t even remember why we’re fighting it. Scratch that, why you’re fighting it.
Nothing. He frowned, pondering what he could say to make things right.
I’m sorry. You were right earlier. I ended things, Reid. With Noah.
The shadow behind the door stopped walking back and forth and simply stood near the door. Luke wasn’t sure whether it was because Reid was considering opening the door or if he simply didn’t want to waste his time walking back and forth. But then he could have ignored Luke’s presence.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” The end of that quote seems ironically appropriate. I wish there was a door included in that statement. Though you don’t seem the type to do things because someone, especially pompous historical people, tell you to. I wish I could think of my own words to use, but my mind won’t let me.
Nothing.
Do you remember when you came to yell at me after Halloween? I think that was the first time when it was really only you and I. I could feel the breath of your curls against my forehead and I thought you were going to kiss me then. When you left, I tried hard not to pretend you didn’t. “I still remember / How you looked that afternoon / There was only you . . . And I can see our days are becoming night / I could feel your heartbeat across the grass . . . I should have kissed you . . . You should have asked me for it”
Nothing.
There’s so much I don’t know about you. I don’t know much about your life. Don’t know anything about your world. You . . . you don’t know about my past and, honestly, I don’t have a future figured out. And yeah, maybe this is going to fast. And maybe . . . it’s not meant to last. . . . But . . . what do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge? Never knowing if there’s solid ground below, or a hand to hold, or hell to pay. What do you say?
Nothing.
Where the heart doth not dare tread, the mind becomes the soul. What the mind cannot fathom, the heart embraces.
Luke sighed. He checked his watch. He’d been there for over an hour and couldn’t help thinking that maybe he’d been wrong. That maybe Reid’s stubbornness didn’t extend this far. That maybe it wasn’t meant to be. He shook his head and placed his hands on his knees in an effort to stand up and walk away from the door, when he caught sight of a piece of paper being shoved back outside. Luke raised an eyebrow and picked it up. It was one of the ones he’d shoved under the door in a vague attempt to get Reid’s attention. His hands trembled slightly as he opened it and realized that there was a quick scribble under his quote.
Will you stop quoting crap at me.
Luke couldn’t help but smile and he fished his pen back out of his pocket.
Oh, good, you’re still alive in there. And quoting oneself doesn’t count; therefore, the last one isn’t a quote.
He didn’t know whether he ought to expect a response, but he suddenly heard the sound of a back collapsing against the door and that of fabric clinging to wood as a body slid down to a sitting position. He grinned. Maybe they were getting somewhere.
Seriously. Just stop.
If you’re doing this to suggest that you want nothing more to do with me, you’re doing a poor job of conveying the sentiment.
When you said you and Noah were through . . .
Luke frowned at this unconventional segue. He started to nod, but remembered that Reid couldn’t see him. That all he had to say had to be conveyed through words on a piece of paper, where his tone of voice did nothing to share his emotion. He could almost feel the paper brimming with curiosity and his hand shook as he wrote.
I meant it.
Luke shoved that note under the door and waited. Minutes passed and he wondered whether Reid was still there, whether he had even read it. Luke sighed and reached for the journal, carefully ripping another page out of it.
Look, Reid. What do you want me to say?
I don’t know. Something substantial. Something that’s not poetry or music or movies or books. Something that’s you . . . What do you want, Luke? How do you feel?
You know.
Damn it, what do you want, Luke? What the hell do you want from me? Just tell me.
Luke hesitated, then again pulled a new paper out of his notebook and wrote carefully.
When I first came out, it was fine. But I was lonely. I looked at Will and Gwen . . . and Casey and Maddie, and I thought . . . that is something that I'm never going to have. And not just the attraction, but . . . I don't know . . . just the feeling of walking into a room and having somebody who was happy to see you. Not having to say everything or spell everything out, but still having somebody who knows what you mean. And I thought that I had found some sort of version of that. And then I met you. And I have never felt the way I feel when I’m with you. And not to sound like something out of Grease, but you’re the one that I want.
Luke sighed, folding the note as tiny as he could make it and carefully pushing it into Reid’s apartment. He didn’t even wait a beat before biting his lip and writing again. He frowned to himself, wondering if his words were a last resort or what he really felt and whether one actually cancelled out the other. But he knew that what he wrote, it wasn’t like before. It wasn’t spur of the moment.
He looked at it carefully, heart pounding at the last sentence, the last six words that seemed to fulfill exactly what he felt and what Reid wanted. He folded the paper once, as though afraid that the meaning would be ruined. He shifted his position to look at the door as he slid it under, but as his hand lingered over the carpet of the hallway, he saw the slight movement of a shadow on the other side and heard the click of the door’s lock.
He glanced up, eyes passing inadvertently over Reid’s bare feet and dark jeans, up his body and to his face. Luke inhaled slightly as their eyes met and his lips disappeared under the bite of his teeth.
Reid watched him carefully, gaze more piercing than any of those he’d ever given. He started out leaning against the doorway, looking like he was contemplating Luke for all that he was, all that he was worth. Whether he himself had enough strength to bear all that Luke was worth. Luke saw his stomach expand with the deep breath that he took, like he was about to go plunging under water, before he held out his hand. “What do you say?”
Luke’s eyes darted to it before returning to Reid’s eyes, surprised to see a soft, encouraging smile forming over his features. Luke’s eyes darted back down to Reid’s hand and smiled reaching his own up and winding his fingers carefully around Reid’s thin wrist before the latter lifted him to his feet, pulled him into the apartment and shut the door.
Chapter 38-->
Author: blasthisass
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Summary: AU- when Luke is shot by Colonel Mayer, his condition quickly deteriorates. In order to save his life, Bob calls in a young, hotshot doctor from Texas, brilliant and already making a name for himself.
Disclaimers: All characters and such property of ATWT, CBS and anyone else who can legally take credit for them. If they were mine, I would take infinitely better care of them.
Title from the song by La Roux. There is dialogue from both the time in which the story takes place as well as the LuRe storyline.
A/N: This is unbeta'd, so any mistakes are mine.
Comments much appreciated . . . I love them like Reid loves Luke.
Previous parts: prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36
***
Noah started, those words the last he’d ever expected. “What?” he inquired, thinking that perhaps he’d misheard.
Luke smiled thoughtfully to himself before turning around and tossing the photograph on the couch. He walked away from the front door and disappeared into Noah and Ameera’s bedroom, leaving the brunette in a state of utmost confusion. Noah squinted after him, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. “I’m sorry, but was that it? Is this discussion over? Did we resolve anything?” he yelled after Luke.
Luke emerged moments later, flattening his coffee-stained T-shirt over his stomach, somehow feeling like its imperfection was better than that of Noah’s button-down, still lying abandoned on the ground where Reid had flung it moments before. “Yeah, we did,” he replied, looking extremely sure of himself and starting to walk toward the door.
Noah stepped in front of him, eyes blazing and showing more emotion than he tended to on a regular basis. “Luke, if this is about Dr. Oliver-”
“This has nothing to do with Reid,” Luke answered truthfully, somehow unable to keep a thoughtful smile from crossing his face. “And it has everything to do with him.”
“Oh, it’s Reid now, is it?” Noah snarled sarcastically, fists clenching.
Luke laughed in disbelief. “Whatever, Noah,” he muttered, trying to step around him. When Noah mirrored his movements, Luke shook his head, looking impeccably annoyed. “You can’t honestly tell me you think you have a right to be mad about this. After all the shit you’ve put me through in the last month alone.”
Noah’s mouth dropped open. “This is about Ameera? You’re seriously walking out on us because I’m trying to do a good thing for her? God, can you be anymore selfish?”
“You know what, I’ve had it up to here with everything,” Luke snarled back. “I have been nothing but selfless and supportive of this since it started even though it fucking killed me. And honestly, Noah, from the moment I met you, I have been fighting for this relationship. I fought against you, Maddie, your dad. Hell, I almost ended up dead. All because of a moment when I realized that I was attracted to you and that I wanted to be with you. And yeah, maybe that was selfish of me, but you came around and if you hadn’t wanted to be there, you wouldn’t have been. And I stood by when you disappeared and had to led back by the hand to our relationship. And yeah, I stood by and let you carry on the mockery of marriage with Ameera while I was shoved into the background. And I didn’t protest. But I’m done being selfless. I don’t think there’s anyone in the fucking world that deserves a little selfishness more than me. I continuously sacrifice myself for everyone around me, but I’m done. I’m done with this charade. I know what I want, what I think will make me happy and I’m no longer letting you stop me from fighting for it.”
Without even waiting to see if Noah would answer, as though he were afraid he would crumble in his resolve if Noah put up a fight, he swept past the brunette and out of the house, his course set, his destination reeling him in like a fish on the line. Noah stood dumbstruck, overwhelmed by the Luke that seemed like he would proclaim his words from the rooftops of the world because he so strongly believed in them.
***
Luke pounded on the door. “Reid? Reid, open up!” He glanced down at the shadow passing across the crack in the bottom of the door before it was wrenched open.
Luke breathed out in relief until he caught Reid looking at him intently. His hair was disheveled and he looked both sad and angry at the same time. “What do you want?”
Luke shook his head, annoyed that Reid was so stubborn that he was set on making this as difficult as possible. That he was ready to thrust his own feelings aside for the sake of his immobility. “To talk-”
“Talking never gets us anywhere, so why bother?” Reid responded, his eyes narrowed, his fist clenched by his side, as though he were trying to control himself and the action took more effort in light of that day’s events.
“Reid-”
Reid shook his head. “I don’t do small talk.”
Luke groaned loudly, glaring at him. “About earlier-”
Reid rolled his eyes, getting the sense that they were simply running around in circles and, experienced runner though he was, he was tired. He was fucking exhausted of running around in circles after Luke and never getting anywhere. And why should this time be any different than all the others. He shook his head curtly and slammed the door so quickly that Luke didn’t even have a moment to process the information and somehow try to stop him.
Luke started, staring at the white-painted wood of the door and actually groaned aloud. In his annoyance he as extremely tempted to simply walk away but his heart nudged him to stay and he knew that he would regret it for the rest of his life if he just left things as they were.
“I’m not going to talk to you though a door!” Luke yelled in frustration.
“That’s the general idea.”
Luke let out an exasperated noise and slid down the wall into a sitting position. He shook his head. He truly didn’t want to yell through the door, but he couldn’t just stand by and let Reid attempt to walk away from this. Because Luke knew that neither of them wanted it. Could ever want it anymore.
He frowned suddenly and leapt to his feet, an idea sparking in his mind. He jogged quickly down the hall and down the stairs, fingering in his pocket for his wallet to save time.
Five minutes later he was back. For safe measures, he rapped his knuckles on the door, only to receive a shout of “Don’t make me take out a restraining order, Mr. Snyder!” in response. Luke shook his head, suppressing an amused chuckle and slid down into a sitting position once more. He ripped a page out of his new notebook and scribbled This is so stupid. Will you just talk to me? on it before folding it in half twice and shoving it under the door. He knocked again and smiled triumphantly when he saw Reid’s shadow appear in the doorway, as though to perhaps open the door and yell at him, then pause and bend down. He considered it a minor breakthrough. He wasn’t expecting Reid to go along with anything of the sort, but at least he knew that he could try to communicate this way. He ripped out another page.
Reid, come on. We can’t fight this anymore. Hell, I can’t even remember why we’re fighting it. Scratch that, why you’re fighting it.
Nothing. He frowned, pondering what he could say to make things right.
I’m sorry. You were right earlier. I ended things, Reid. With Noah.
The shadow behind the door stopped walking back and forth and simply stood near the door. Luke wasn’t sure whether it was because Reid was considering opening the door or if he simply didn’t want to waste his time walking back and forth. But then he could have ignored Luke’s presence.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” The end of that quote seems ironically appropriate. I wish there was a door included in that statement. Though you don’t seem the type to do things because someone, especially pompous historical people, tell you to. I wish I could think of my own words to use, but my mind won’t let me.
Nothing.
Do you remember when you came to yell at me after Halloween? I think that was the first time when it was really only you and I. I could feel the breath of your curls against my forehead and I thought you were going to kiss me then. When you left, I tried hard not to pretend you didn’t. “I still remember / How you looked that afternoon / There was only you . . . And I can see our days are becoming night / I could feel your heartbeat across the grass . . . I should have kissed you . . . You should have asked me for it”
Nothing.
There’s so much I don’t know about you. I don’t know much about your life. Don’t know anything about your world. You . . . you don’t know about my past and, honestly, I don’t have a future figured out. And yeah, maybe this is going to fast. And maybe . . . it’s not meant to last. . . . But . . . what do you say to taking chances? What do you say to jumping off the edge? Never knowing if there’s solid ground below, or a hand to hold, or hell to pay. What do you say?
Nothing.
Where the heart doth not dare tread, the mind becomes the soul. What the mind cannot fathom, the heart embraces.
Luke sighed. He checked his watch. He’d been there for over an hour and couldn’t help thinking that maybe he’d been wrong. That maybe Reid’s stubbornness didn’t extend this far. That maybe it wasn’t meant to be. He shook his head and placed his hands on his knees in an effort to stand up and walk away from the door, when he caught sight of a piece of paper being shoved back outside. Luke raised an eyebrow and picked it up. It was one of the ones he’d shoved under the door in a vague attempt to get Reid’s attention. His hands trembled slightly as he opened it and realized that there was a quick scribble under his quote.
Will you stop quoting crap at me.
Luke couldn’t help but smile and he fished his pen back out of his pocket.
Oh, good, you’re still alive in there. And quoting oneself doesn’t count; therefore, the last one isn’t a quote.
He didn’t know whether he ought to expect a response, but he suddenly heard the sound of a back collapsing against the door and that of fabric clinging to wood as a body slid down to a sitting position. He grinned. Maybe they were getting somewhere.
Seriously. Just stop.
If you’re doing this to suggest that you want nothing more to do with me, you’re doing a poor job of conveying the sentiment.
When you said you and Noah were through . . .
Luke frowned at this unconventional segue. He started to nod, but remembered that Reid couldn’t see him. That all he had to say had to be conveyed through words on a piece of paper, where his tone of voice did nothing to share his emotion. He could almost feel the paper brimming with curiosity and his hand shook as he wrote.
I meant it.
Luke shoved that note under the door and waited. Minutes passed and he wondered whether Reid was still there, whether he had even read it. Luke sighed and reached for the journal, carefully ripping another page out of it.
Look, Reid. What do you want me to say?
I don’t know. Something substantial. Something that’s not poetry or music or movies or books. Something that’s you . . . What do you want, Luke? How do you feel?
You know.
Damn it, what do you want, Luke? What the hell do you want from me? Just tell me.
Luke hesitated, then again pulled a new paper out of his notebook and wrote carefully.
When I first came out, it was fine. But I was lonely. I looked at Will and Gwen . . . and Casey and Maddie, and I thought . . . that is something that I'm never going to have. And not just the attraction, but . . . I don't know . . . just the feeling of walking into a room and having somebody who was happy to see you. Not having to say everything or spell everything out, but still having somebody who knows what you mean. And I thought that I had found some sort of version of that. And then I met you. And I have never felt the way I feel when I’m with you. And not to sound like something out of Grease, but you’re the one that I want.
Luke sighed, folding the note as tiny as he could make it and carefully pushing it into Reid’s apartment. He didn’t even wait a beat before biting his lip and writing again. He frowned to himself, wondering if his words were a last resort or what he really felt and whether one actually cancelled out the other. But he knew that what he wrote, it wasn’t like before. It wasn’t spur of the moment.
He looked at it carefully, heart pounding at the last sentence, the last six words that seemed to fulfill exactly what he felt and what Reid wanted. He folded the paper once, as though afraid that the meaning would be ruined. He shifted his position to look at the door as he slid it under, but as his hand lingered over the carpet of the hallway, he saw the slight movement of a shadow on the other side and heard the click of the door’s lock.
He glanced up, eyes passing inadvertently over Reid’s bare feet and dark jeans, up his body and to his face. Luke inhaled slightly as their eyes met and his lips disappeared under the bite of his teeth.
Reid watched him carefully, gaze more piercing than any of those he’d ever given. He started out leaning against the doorway, looking like he was contemplating Luke for all that he was, all that he was worth. Whether he himself had enough strength to bear all that Luke was worth. Luke saw his stomach expand with the deep breath that he took, like he was about to go plunging under water, before he held out his hand. “What do you say?”
Luke’s eyes darted to it before returning to Reid’s eyes, surprised to see a soft, encouraging smile forming over his features. Luke’s eyes darted back down to Reid’s hand and smiled reaching his own up and winding his fingers carefully around Reid’s thin wrist before the latter lifted him to his feet, pulled him into the apartment and shut the door.
Chapter 38-->