5.14 My Bloody Valentine, Part 3/3
< Part One is here.
I just posted PART 2 earlier yesterday. Go there first! < Part Two is here.
Dear Dean,
I understand that you went to the morgue now to see if anyone else had died so that you could follow the soul to Famine, but it only makes me wonder where the reapers are? Why are the souls just waiting around for so long without anyone coming for them? It's just another part of the Apocalypse that people can be dead for - like HOURS - and they still have their souls intact? Like, you could kill someone and they would just sit there like lost luggage on an airport baggage carousel? ... I'm not sure if that gives me a warm fuzzy or not.
-Lid, who really doesn't want you or Sam to get dead
Dear Cas,
If it's in the l hundreds, how have you not asplode? On second thought, don't answer that.
-Lid
Cas says that he can haz cheezburger because it makes him VERY HAPPY. This tells us that this isn't merely a possession form of control, but that the person's will and desires play a part in the end result. They end up getting so much of what they desire most that it kills them... Cas and Sam being the exceptions to that rule, obviously. (What normal human being could drain a person and a half of blood and not be extremely ill?)
When Cas asks Dean why he has not succumbed to any form of Famine's Hunger, he seems genuinely confused, as if he couldn't just read Dean's mind or, IDK WATCH HIM LIVE HIS LIFE FOR A YEAR, to find that out.
Dear Cas,
You are not very observant.
-Lid
P.S. The stomach carries the heart, and not the heart the stomach.
Sancho Dean is so bored with the question that he's not even sure how to answer it.
I would do what I pleased, and doing what I pleased, I should have my will, and having my will, I should be contented; and when one is contented, there is no more to be desired; and when there is no more to be desired, there is an end of it." - Sancho Panza, Don Quixote (pt. I, bk. IV, ch. XXIII)
Dear Dean,
You really meant to say that you've learned not to want anything you think you can't have, huh?
Anytime the world takes a dump on you or takes something away, it goes in that pile of things you don't want anymore.
No one in your life ends up living, let alone living up to your hopes.
You learned to live with less and less until finally you can get by with nothing.
You literally register nothing about something unless it's a life function.
I guess a 40 year tour in Hell is finally good for something right about now.
-Lid
P.S. I'm gonna crawl over into this corner and cry now, since you might not be able to.
The soul emerges in a briefcase carried by a demon getting into a luxury car and I had Good Omens flashbacks again:
Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisement said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches.
We now pause in over-thinking this episode in inexorable detail to bring you lots of gratuitous sweaty Sam cuffed to a sink. *struggle struggle*
All around are drops of water and nothing left to drink, huh Sammy?
How unreasonably high on the wall did they have to mount the sink for you to be able to rest your face on it?
How much wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Bass?
"The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in three, two, one. The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations. The Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."
"The device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once. As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact. The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in Lawrence, Kansas."
"Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, very long time. If you become lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."
Or you know, you could just...
oh, dear.
Dear Sam,
I'm thinking that maybe you're crossing a line, here, and I can't tell if you're enjoying it an awful lot or if you're completely disgusted. It is still about the power, right?
-Lid, who wants to bring you a napkin the size of a parachute
P.S. Are you doing this because you think Dean and Cas are in danger and you need to be strong enough to save them? We've been down this slippery slope so many times... but did you notice that you threw him almost as far BEFORE drinking the blood as you did AFTER? Yeah yeah, you made contact the first time, whatever. This is a demon. These are the same dudes who just three years ago you could punch in the face and they'd barely flinch... Why do you think that is? *hands you a feather*
"You did it! The weighted companion cube certainly brought you good luck. However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and must, unfortunately, be euthanized. Please escort your companion cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator."
"Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects for all moral responsibility for the companion cube euthanizing process."
"The experiment is nearing its conclusion. The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake."
Dean and Cas drive the Impala to the Big Gerson's, where Cas can smell the trays of raw hamburger meat from several dozens of feet away.
What would the world be coming to if Jensen Dean was Charlie, right?
Dean is already handing out full game plans to Castiel and he seems pretty resigned to it, if not a bit petulant. Or it could have just been the distraction of that love letter he was writing to McDonalds...and Burger King...and Sonic...and that little hole in the wall place in that shopping center those hundred other times...THAT GUY DROWNED IN A FRYER. Somehow, I thought it would be bloodier.
Dean sneaks in sneakily to find his dawg munchin on raw meat in a corner.
There aren't many times that man or angel on this Show are literally named as Hounds of Heaven, but I love it when it happens.
My harness piece by piece Thou hast hewn from me,
And smitten me to my knee;
I am defenseless utterly.
I slept, methinks, and woke,
And, slowly gazing, find me stripped in sleep.
In the rash lustihead of my young powers,
I shook the pillaring hours
And pulled my life upon me; grimed with smears,
I stand amid the dust o' the mounded years--
My mangled youth lies dead beneath the heap.
My days have crackled and gone up in smoke,
Have puffed and burst as sun-starts on a stream.
Yea, faileth now even dream
The dreamer, and the lute the lutanist;
Even the linked fantasies, in whose blossomy twist
I swung the earth a trinket at my wrist,
Are yielding; cords of all too weak account
For earth with heavy griefs so overplussed.
Dear Dean,
I'm sorry they decked you. Hey! If you're not seeing double, check out that painting on the wall.
Isn't that Sancho Panza wrangling an Apocapony?
-Lid, who is starting to panic and trying not to show it
Okay, yeah. I'm hyperventilating. What is he g---
*hides under every available pillow and screams*
Noooooo! Don't take his soul! OMG DEAN!!!
YOU BASTARD.
Dear You Know Who,
STOP. KILLING. HIM. ME. US.
I can't....*sobs in a corner*... Dean, are you?
Are you okay?
Dean?
Does this mean you don't have your...
What am I saying? That can't be it. It can't be. Something else is going on here. But what?
"Hunger doesn't just come from the body, it also comes from the soul."
Oh, Dean...
honey... if you weren't so dead right now, you would be soooo dead right now...
but he doesn't want it because it would probably empty out everything inside him... kinda like a black hole.
Someone is sure looking out for you.
Sam: "You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory." -Bloodlust
They might kill you to collect the bounty on your head, but then, there's not much gain in having you, is there?
All that means there's something important about you that they're not telling you.
Wanna know what I think?
LENORE comes out of the house with a box, sets it on the flatbed of a truck. She turns and GORDON is there. He grabs her, raises a knife that glistens with blood. He stabs it into her chest; she goes limp.
GORDON: "Dead man's blood, bitch."
-Bloodlust
How about another? Remember this?
JOHN and SAM come out of the woods with crossbows.
JOHN comes up to KATE and stabs her while SAM covers the other vampire with his machete.
KATE: Barely even stings.
JOHN: "Give it time, sweetheart. That arrow’s soaked in dead man’s blood. It’s like poison to you, isn’t it?"
KATE passes out and DEAN catches her.
-Dead Man's Blood
How about all the times you guys have put down monsters by plunging stakes and knives into them that are soaked in blood? There's been a lot. I haven't counted exactly, but it's a lot. I'd keep that in a hip pocket.
Yes, Dean. Sam heard everything that Famine just said about you. And he's STILL going to save you. You are still worth saving, even if you're done fighting. He'll keep throwing punches while you crumple into the corner, staring at ghosts.
"Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to happen. You chose this path, now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in five... four..." -Portal Boss
Whaaaaat? I don't know what you mean. Clown Apocalypse. Where? I don't see anything.
Dear Famine,
You make a fatal mistake by telling Sam that he's the exception that proves the rule and that's exactly how Satan wanted him to be. You don't know Sam at ALL. Here's the other half of the exception: YOU DIE NOW.
-Lid, who realizes she is glad enough that Sam did it but is really going to hate it at the same time
Neo? Morpheus? LOL
Here's the part where we get to see Sam enjoying his work... kinda the way that Dean used to enjoy his. Like either of them were innocent lambs back then, either. ... I forgot what my point was...
Oh yeah.
HEY DEAN, YOU LOOK LIKE A SNOWMAN FROZEN IN PLACE LIKE THAT.
Also, if you use THE knife, you might kill someone.
Sam just pulled FIVE DEMONS at the same time. Every time Sam takes the bait and saves people by drinking blood, he slides further down that slope and he KNOWS it, but his soul is worth losing for the good he can do. Oh, Sam.
Is there an emoticon face for jaw dropping? Because I need it.
Sam said NO to Famine. Not because they have nothing that he wants, but he looks at Dean and he knows that everything evil has touched, or that Famine wants, TURNS INTO NOTHING... and if he can save Dean from being nothing, he'd damn himself to do it.
OMG, BOYS, YOU KILL ME (in a good way).
Famine is so creepy that I squirm in my chair (in a not good way) whenever I even see a cap. *averts eyes*
He eats all five demon souls and the look on the boy's faces are priceless.
You DUMB HORSEMAN, you.
"Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise... I've never seen it before. Never mind, it's a mystery I'll solve later, by myself, because you'll be dead. Huh! There isn't enough Neurotoxin to kill you, so I guess you win. Ha! I'm making more. That's going to take a few minutes tho---" -Portal Boss
It amazes me that Famine didn't try himself some tasty angel. Unless they don't have souls, but if they do, this one would be heavily seasoned and possibly a little gamey.
Pair of Supermassive Black Holes Inhabit Same Galaxy, Destined to Collide
It's a mighty mean and a dreadful sorrow
It's crossed the evil line today
Well, how can you ask about tomorrow
We ain't got one word to say
So what in the world's come over you
And what in heaven's name have you done
You've broken the speed of the sound of loneliness
You're out there running just to be on the run
Well I got a heart that burns with a fever
And I got a worried and a jealous mind
How can a love that'll last forever
Get left so far behind
-John Prine
(I love the Amos Lee version, personally) Download the Song (Beemp3)
Black and White.
You see this dirty knife on the floor, this chrome nine in my hand
These foul thoughts in my conscious, constantly understand
See we taught to believe if you can touch it and see it, it must
Be real so go believe it.
But I've never seen Jesus
I've never seen God, so he's only a thesis
And I'm questioning all these things in my time to depart
I know it's written suicide is giving hell and devils privilege
Only wicked heathens commit it, sin of ages, well fuck it, bring it!
Lately I've been waking early mornings screaming
(Take Me) Through the shadows of valley of death, God
(Take me) when I'm shooting, taking last breaths hard
(Baby) I want to walk through the valleys praying lord
Will you help me, save me God, won't you tell me, tell me
(Take me) 'Cause I'm losing my faith, bless me
(Take me) 'Cause this world just want to test me
-Jean Grae
Dear Cas,
I'm not sure why so many people give you crap for telling or not telling Dean and Sam that you let him out of the panic room the first time.
All I know is that you won't do it again and that's what matters.
You might get a hug soon,
Lid
You walk along and there are two sets of footprints in the sand and one day that other set of footprints is gone and you can't find it and things get really, really rough and you die a lot and your brother is vamped out again and you and your besties started the Apocalypse and you're so overwhelmed by all the stuff roiling around in your brain...
that you forget...
that the one set of footprints...
don't belong to you.
I triumphed and I saddened with all weather, Heaven and I wept together,
And its sweet tears were salt with mortal mine;
Against the red throb of its sunset-heart I laid my own to beat,
And share commingling heat;
But not by that, by that, was eased my human smart.
In vain my tears were wet on
Heaven's gray cheek.
For ah! we know not what each other says,
These things and I; in sound I speak--
Their sound is but their stir, they speak by silences.
-Hounds of Hell
I just posted PART 2 earlier yesterday. Go there first! < Part Two is here.
Dear Dean,
I understand that you went to the morgue now to see if anyone else had died so that you could follow the soul to Famine, but it only makes me wonder where the reapers are? Why are the souls just waiting around for so long without anyone coming for them? It's just another part of the Apocalypse that people can be dead for - like HOURS - and they still have their souls intact? Like, you could kill someone and they would just sit there like lost luggage on an airport baggage carousel? ... I'm not sure if that gives me a warm fuzzy or not.
-Lid, who really doesn't want you or Sam to get dead
Dear Cas,
If it's in the l hundreds, how have you not asplode? On second thought, don't answer that.
-Lid
Cas says that he can haz cheezburger because it makes him VERY HAPPY. This tells us that this isn't merely a possession form of control, but that the person's will and desires play a part in the end result. They end up getting so much of what they desire most that it kills them... Cas and Sam being the exceptions to that rule, obviously. (What normal human being could drain a person and a half of blood and not be extremely ill?)
When Cas asks Dean why he has not succumbed to any form of Famine's Hunger, he seems genuinely confused, as if he couldn't just read Dean's mind or, IDK WATCH HIM LIVE HIS LIFE FOR A YEAR, to find that out.
Dear Cas,
You are not very observant.
-Lid
P.S. The stomach carries the heart, and not the heart the stomach.
Sancho Dean is so bored with the question that he's not even sure how to answer it.
I would do what I pleased, and doing what I pleased, I should have my will, and having my will, I should be contented; and when one is contented, there is no more to be desired; and when there is no more to be desired, there is an end of it." - Sancho Panza, Don Quixote (pt. I, bk. IV, ch. XXIII)
Dear Dean,
You really meant to say that you've learned not to want anything you think you can't have, huh?
Anytime the world takes a dump on you or takes something away, it goes in that pile of things you don't want anymore.
No one in your life ends up living, let alone living up to your hopes.
You learned to live with less and less until finally you can get by with nothing.
You literally register nothing about something unless it's a life function.
I guess a 40 year tour in Hell is finally good for something right about now.
-Lid
P.S. I'm gonna crawl over into this corner and cry now, since you might not be able to.
The soul emerges in a briefcase carried by a demon getting into a luxury car and I had Good Omens flashbacks again:
Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisement said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches.
We now pause in over-thinking this episode in inexorable detail to bring you lots of gratuitous sweaty Sam cuffed to a sink. *struggle struggle*
All around are drops of water and nothing left to drink, huh Sammy?
How unreasonably high on the wall did they have to mount the sink for you to be able to rest your face on it?
How much wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Bass?
"The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in three, two, one. The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations. The Enrichment Center reminds you that the weighted companion cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."
"The device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once. As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact. The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in Lawrence, Kansas."
"Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, very long time. If you become lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."
Or you know, you could just...
oh, dear.
Dear Sam,
I'm thinking that maybe you're crossing a line, here, and I can't tell if you're enjoying it an awful lot or if you're completely disgusted. It is still about the power, right?
-Lid, who wants to bring you a napkin the size of a parachute
P.S. Are you doing this because you think Dean and Cas are in danger and you need to be strong enough to save them? We've been down this slippery slope so many times... but did you notice that you threw him almost as far BEFORE drinking the blood as you did AFTER? Yeah yeah, you made contact the first time, whatever. This is a demon. These are the same dudes who just three years ago you could punch in the face and they'd barely flinch... Why do you think that is? *hands you a feather*
"You did it! The weighted companion cube certainly brought you good luck. However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and must, unfortunately, be euthanized. Please escort your companion cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator."
"Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects for all moral responsibility for the companion cube euthanizing process."
"The experiment is nearing its conclusion. The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake."
Dean and Cas drive the Impala to the Big Gerson's, where Cas can smell the trays of raw hamburger meat from several dozens of feet away.
Click to viewWhat would the world be coming to if Jensen Dean was Charlie, right?
Dean is already handing out full game plans to Castiel and he seems pretty resigned to it, if not a bit petulant. Or it could have just been the distraction of that love letter he was writing to McDonalds...and Burger King...and Sonic...and that little hole in the wall place in that shopping center those hundred other times...THAT GUY DROWNED IN A FRYER. Somehow, I thought it would be bloodier.
Dean sneaks in sneakily to find his dawg munchin on raw meat in a corner.
There aren't many times that man or angel on this Show are literally named as Hounds of Heaven, but I love it when it happens.
My harness piece by piece Thou hast hewn from me,
And smitten me to my knee;
I am defenseless utterly.
I slept, methinks, and woke,
And, slowly gazing, find me stripped in sleep.
In the rash lustihead of my young powers,
I shook the pillaring hours
And pulled my life upon me; grimed with smears,
I stand amid the dust o' the mounded years--
My mangled youth lies dead beneath the heap.
My days have crackled and gone up in smoke,
Have puffed and burst as sun-starts on a stream.
Yea, faileth now even dream
The dreamer, and the lute the lutanist;
Even the linked fantasies, in whose blossomy twist
I swung the earth a trinket at my wrist,
Are yielding; cords of all too weak account
For earth with heavy griefs so overplussed.
Dear Dean,
I'm sorry they decked you. Hey! If you're not seeing double, check out that painting on the wall.
Isn't that Sancho Panza wrangling an Apocapony?
-Lid, who is starting to panic and trying not to show it
Okay, yeah. I'm hyperventilating. What is he g---
*hides under every available pillow and screams*
Noooooo! Don't take his soul! OMG DEAN!!!
YOU BASTARD.
Dear You Know Who,
STOP. KILLING. HIM. ME. US.
I can't....*sobs in a corner*... Dean, are you?
Are you okay?
Dean?
Does this mean you don't have your...
What am I saying? That can't be it. It can't be. Something else is going on here. But what?
"Hunger doesn't just come from the body, it also comes from the soul."
Oh, Dean...
honey... if you weren't so dead right now, you would be soooo dead right now...
but he doesn't want it because it would probably empty out everything inside him... kinda like a black hole.
Someone is sure looking out for you.
Sam: "You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory." -Bloodlust
They might kill you to collect the bounty on your head, but then, there's not much gain in having you, is there?
All that means there's something important about you that they're not telling you.
Wanna know what I think?
LENORE comes out of the house with a box, sets it on the flatbed of a truck. She turns and GORDON is there. He grabs her, raises a knife that glistens with blood. He stabs it into her chest; she goes limp.
GORDON: "Dead man's blood, bitch."
-Bloodlust
How about another? Remember this?
JOHN and SAM come out of the woods with crossbows.
JOHN comes up to KATE and stabs her while SAM covers the other vampire with his machete.
KATE: Barely even stings.
JOHN: "Give it time, sweetheart. That arrow’s soaked in dead man’s blood. It’s like poison to you, isn’t it?"
KATE passes out and DEAN catches her.
-Dead Man's Blood
How about all the times you guys have put down monsters by plunging stakes and knives into them that are soaked in blood? There's been a lot. I haven't counted exactly, but it's a lot. I'd keep that in a hip pocket.
Yes, Dean. Sam heard everything that Famine just said about you. And he's STILL going to save you. You are still worth saving, even if you're done fighting. He'll keep throwing punches while you crumple into the corner, staring at ghosts.
"Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart. Maybe you could settle for that, and we'll just call it a day. I guess we both know that isn't going to happen. You chose this path, now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in five... four..." -Portal Boss
Whaaaaat? I don't know what you mean. Clown Apocalypse. Where? I don't see anything.
Dear Famine,
You make a fatal mistake by telling Sam that he's the exception that proves the rule and that's exactly how Satan wanted him to be. You don't know Sam at ALL. Here's the other half of the exception: YOU DIE NOW.
-Lid, who realizes she is glad enough that Sam did it but is really going to hate it at the same time
Neo? Morpheus? LOL
Here's the part where we get to see Sam enjoying his work... kinda the way that Dean used to enjoy his. Like either of them were innocent lambs back then, either. ... I forgot what my point was...
Oh yeah.
HEY DEAN, YOU LOOK LIKE A SNOWMAN FROZEN IN PLACE LIKE THAT.
Also, if you use THE knife, you might kill someone.
Sam just pulled FIVE DEMONS at the same time. Every time Sam takes the bait and saves people by drinking blood, he slides further down that slope and he KNOWS it, but his soul is worth losing for the good he can do. Oh, Sam.
Is there an emoticon face for jaw dropping? Because I need it.
Sam said NO to Famine. Not because they have nothing that he wants, but he looks at Dean and he knows that everything evil has touched, or that Famine wants, TURNS INTO NOTHING... and if he can save Dean from being nothing, he'd damn himself to do it.
OMG, BOYS, YOU KILL ME (in a good way).
Famine is so creepy that I squirm in my chair (in a not good way) whenever I even see a cap. *averts eyes*
He eats all five demon souls and the look on the boy's faces are priceless.
You DUMB HORSEMAN, you.
"Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise... I've never seen it before. Never mind, it's a mystery I'll solve later, by myself, because you'll be dead. Huh! There isn't enough Neurotoxin to kill you, so I guess you win. Ha! I'm making more. That's going to take a few minutes tho---" -Portal Boss
It amazes me that Famine didn't try himself some tasty angel. Unless they don't have souls, but if they do, this one would be heavily seasoned and possibly a little gamey.
Pair of Supermassive Black Holes Inhabit Same Galaxy, Destined to Collide
It's a mighty mean and a dreadful sorrow
It's crossed the evil line today
Well, how can you ask about tomorrow
We ain't got one word to say
So what in the world's come over you
And what in heaven's name have you done
You've broken the speed of the sound of loneliness
You're out there running just to be on the run
Well I got a heart that burns with a fever
And I got a worried and a jealous mind
How can a love that'll last forever
Get left so far behind
-John Prine
(I love the Amos Lee version, personally) Download the Song (Beemp3)
Black and White.
You see this dirty knife on the floor, this chrome nine in my hand
These foul thoughts in my conscious, constantly understand
See we taught to believe if you can touch it and see it, it must
Be real so go believe it.
But I've never seen Jesus
I've never seen God, so he's only a thesis
And I'm questioning all these things in my time to depart
I know it's written suicide is giving hell and devils privilege
Only wicked heathens commit it, sin of ages, well fuck it, bring it!
Lately I've been waking early mornings screaming
(Take Me) Through the shadows of valley of death, God
(Take me) when I'm shooting, taking last breaths hard
(Baby) I want to walk through the valleys praying lord
Will you help me, save me God, won't you tell me, tell me
(Take me) 'Cause I'm losing my faith, bless me
(Take me) 'Cause this world just want to test me
-Jean Grae
Dear Cas,
I'm not sure why so many people give you crap for telling or not telling Dean and Sam that you let him out of the panic room the first time.
All I know is that you won't do it again and that's what matters.
You might get a hug soon,
Lid
You walk along and there are two sets of footprints in the sand and one day that other set of footprints is gone and you can't find it and things get really, really rough and you die a lot and your brother is vamped out again and you and your besties started the Apocalypse and you're so overwhelmed by all the stuff roiling around in your brain...
that you forget...
that the one set of footprints...
don't belong to you.
I triumphed and I saddened with all weather, Heaven and I wept together,
And its sweet tears were salt with mortal mine;
Against the red throb of its sunset-heart I laid my own to beat,
And share commingling heat;
But not by that, by that, was eased my human smart.
In vain my tears were wet on
Heaven's gray cheek.
For ah! we know not what each other says,
These things and I; in sound I speak--
Their sound is but their stir, they speak by silences.
-Hounds of Hell