_like_weeds
in
birls
weight gain making me look more "girly"
Hi birls,
I'm Flo, just turned 21, bio-female, genderqueer.
6 months ago, I was really thin, with a narrow almost straight up and down frame, and flat chest. I really liked it, I felt comfortable like that.
Since then I've moved away from home, started going to a huge college, QUIT SMOKING (I think that's the biggest thing), and I've gained more than 20 pounds. I'm barely 5 feet tall, so that's a lot for my frame.
I now have hips and boobs and a bum and IT ALL GROSSES ME OUT SO MUCH. I want to make it clear that I by no means think "fat" or larger people are gross, I just hate that I've gotten these fatty deposits in places that make me look more "womanly" and it's really messing with my gender identity/self esteem/everything else.
None of the clothes I used to wear fit, and I don't know how to dress myself at this size. I've just started hiding under big t shirts and jeans (I've gone up 5 or 6 pants sizes) and hoodies but spring is coming and I don't know what to do.
I know I should love myself, and I do love myself, I just hate my body right now. Being thin was a huge part of my self image before and this is all so weird to me. I look down and see my "breasts" and tummy and I'm like, what the fuck is that?!
My partner still thinks I'm great but it's starting to wear on us a little because I just don't like being naked anymore, and I used to. I just stopped feeling comfortable in my body.
I'm trying to slowly eat more like I was eating before and lose some weight, my appetite is just so dramatically different from how it was before I quit smoking, I never seem to feel full anymore.
I loved being flat chested, guh.
This picture is a little more recent, but I have gained weight since then:
I've developed terrible posture and back pain from curving my back in a way that my t-shirt hides my boobs or whatever they are.
I guess I'm just looking for any suggestions/sympathy whatever.... I've looked at some fat-positive stuff and style sites but they all seem to be geared toward cis-women, I don't want to wear dresses really.
I'm Flo, just turned 21, bio-female, genderqueer.
6 months ago, I was really thin, with a narrow almost straight up and down frame, and flat chest. I really liked it, I felt comfortable like that.
Since then I've moved away from home, started going to a huge college, QUIT SMOKING (I think that's the biggest thing), and I've gained more than 20 pounds. I'm barely 5 feet tall, so that's a lot for my frame.
I now have hips and boobs and a bum and IT ALL GROSSES ME OUT SO MUCH. I want to make it clear that I by no means think "fat" or larger people are gross, I just hate that I've gotten these fatty deposits in places that make me look more "womanly" and it's really messing with my gender identity/self esteem/everything else.
None of the clothes I used to wear fit, and I don't know how to dress myself at this size. I've just started hiding under big t shirts and jeans (I've gone up 5 or 6 pants sizes) and hoodies but spring is coming and I don't know what to do.
I know I should love myself, and I do love myself, I just hate my body right now. Being thin was a huge part of my self image before and this is all so weird to me. I look down and see my "breasts" and tummy and I'm like, what the fuck is that?!
My partner still thinks I'm great but it's starting to wear on us a little because I just don't like being naked anymore, and I used to. I just stopped feeling comfortable in my body.
I'm trying to slowly eat more like I was eating before and lose some weight, my appetite is just so dramatically different from how it was before I quit smoking, I never seem to feel full anymore.
I loved being flat chested, guh.
This picture is a little more recent, but I have gained weight since then:
I've developed terrible posture and back pain from curving my back in a way that my t-shirt hides my boobs or whatever they are.
I guess I'm just looking for any suggestions/sympathy whatever.... I've looked at some fat-positive stuff and style sites but they all seem to be geared toward cis-women, I don't want to wear dresses really.