The feeling sounds awfully familiar. I'm also without medication and feeling desperate, hopeless, not caring anymore. But, and I don't want to trigger so please stop reading if you are still feeling the strong urge, I succumbed to the self-destructive impulse a few days ago and I feel so much worse as a result of the direct repercussions as well as the guilt, feelings of weakness and failure, instability, secrets, etc. The release is so transient. That momementary release is not worth it. I know you know this; I am repeating it for both of us, like a mantra.
You can do this: be strong, resist. I am resisting desperately now too, fighting it - fighting to keep fighting.
If you ever want/need to chat, my contact details are on my userpage.
I understand how you feel... I started cutting 10 years ago and I still have urges. I still have scars too... It's not a good feeling. I have to wear long sleeves in public. It IS an addiction, and I wish therapists (and psychiatrists) would recognize that instead of treating it like the symptom of an illness or a personality disorder. Anyway, I'm not really in a position for giving advice, but I understand and I know how difficult is is to resist the urge to self-harm.
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What are you doing to not cut? Good job for posting about your desire - telling on yourself is a GOOD thing.
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You can do this: be strong, resist. I am resisting desperately now too, fighting it - fighting to keep fighting.
If you ever want/need to chat, my contact details are on my userpage.
Good luck. Thinking of you. Hugs.
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I understand how you feel... I started cutting 10 years ago and I still have urges. I still have scars too... It's not a good feeling. I have to wear long sleeves in public. It IS an addiction, and I wish therapists (and psychiatrists) would recognize that instead of treating it like the symptom of an illness or a personality disorder. Anyway, I'm not really in a position for giving advice, but I understand and I know how difficult is is to resist the urge to self-harm.
Take care,
*hugs*
~Annwyn
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