i know exactly what you mean and you know what works for me sometimes? smashing my face into a pillow and just screaming. i'll scream at the top of my lungs, until i am exhausted and can't scream anymore. it feels great.
I used to take sedatives when I was mixed or depressed just to 'escape' but....sedatives can worsen depression. Try and lay off maybe. In the long run it'll be better for you.
I'm sorry you feel so horrible. I am dealing with somewhat less intense depression myself right now--I am unemployed, and I suspect that if I had had a schedule for 20+ hours a week that would fix the depression. I got outside today to walk in the sun and it made a tremendous difference to my mood. I know that in much of the country it is still snowing and really cold, so we are lucky in NC.
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