Comments | billazilla: Another period of redefining

billazilla

Another period of redefining

Aug 25, 2006 01:36

I suppose I'd managed to put it off for long enough, but it's time I reworked how I do things again. I'll be bringing back some old stuff (like the exercise, and parts of my old dieting habits), and some new stuff (managing finances, maintaining home, and my social profile at work), and, as usual, a bit of soul searching.

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exercise, computer, geek, living, work, family, contemplation, home, rant

Comments 4

random_42 August 25 2006, 13:41:14 UTC

My father jumped ship on his family of three kids when I was 6 and moved 1,500 miles away. I saw him once every 3 or 4 years and usually got a b-day card. That was it. Certainly not adversarial as your situation but not one that promotes the healthy development of his three kids.

Years have passed and I've been lucky to reacquaint myself with him - interacting more as adults than father and son. I suppose I could have been (should have been) pissed off at him for all those years he wasn't there but then that would have gotten in the way of the friendship we have now - and not changed the past at all. So, I guess there's a happy ending there.

Probably not enough similarity to your relationship but your entry hit close to home on a few points... Best of luck.

megarandom August 25 2006, 17:56:44 UTC

My dad's doing the same damned thing. He thinks that keeping in touch in his later years can make up for the bullshit he pulled early on...

I, personally, think that family is as family does.

anonymous August 25 2006, 20:27:24 UTC

I would first caution you to remember that people can't give you what they don't have. He may not have acceptable answers to your questions and may not even get your questions at all.

Also, I would caution you to consider what you are willing to give and what you are hoping to get and see how that fits in with what you know of him. Then decide how personable to be or how much of a rant to give.

Other than that, he sounds like a lonely, sad old man. Who happens to have been your shitty parental unit as a child and a person who is attempting in short order to restore or have you help restore what he's lost.

You are the bigger person. You can't change the past. But, you can develop an adult relationship with this man, which might be quite rewarding as long as you stick to your boundaries and remind him of his.

Ahh, love. Good luck, Bill. *smooch*

(The comment has been removed)

billazilla August 26 2006, 19:04:20 UTC

Yeah, you're right. These are the things that contradict my need to lay into him. I'm aware that he may actually see that he's dug his hole all the way to China, and in doing so left everything and everyone behind in his personal quest for a pointless goal. Now he has his few connections with some people of dubious nature, and his damaged/destroyed family connections ( ... )