I have a cat. Her name is Chloe. And this is a story about her ( Read more... )

And yet again, for it was written long ago, behold the glory!

Top 5 Ways To Tell You're A Procrastinator

1.

And now, behold:

Top Five Worst Ways to Die

1. Bear attack
2. Drowning in pudding
3. Rectal Bleeding
4. Decapitation from Dolphin Ejaculate
5. Complications due to Bear attack

Top 5 Best Ways To Die

1. Too Much Sex
2. Too Much Rock and Roll
3. Sky Diving
4. Sky Diving while having Too Much Sex
5. NOT Bear Attack

The Great LiveJournal
Outage of 2005

During the outage I went insane.

What did you do?

Brought to you by geek-foo

And now I seem to have misplaced my igloo.

The only time one can truly say that one is a real, and I mean REAL, man is when he has unabashedly admitted that he kind of likes wearing women's clothing, and rather fancies a good facial.

Posting is a lot like murder; you do it (a) when its a compulsion, (b) when you really, really want to, or (c) when you have nothing better to do. Maybe I need a hobby. You know, other than homicide. Well I have puppies and cake, and those are significantly less bloody, unless of course you consider the great cake massacre of 1978 and the puppy ( Read more... )

Christmas trees are sad when it's not christmas. Because everyone knows that Jesus chopped down that cherry tree and could never tell a lie. And his teeth were made of wood. But that was only after he lost them in 'Nam.

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Wear more lacy black lingerie.

Get your resolution here

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Stop smoking pot by taking up crack instead.

Get your resolution here

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Take a chainsaw-juggling class.

Get your resolution here

In the year 2005 I resolve to:
Spend more ( Read more... )

I live in a new house. Yay. The end ( Read more... )

I don't mean to sound like a queer or nothin', but random posting makes me want to have sex with men.