Bones Fanfic: Show Me What I'm Looking For (7/?)
Title: Show Me What I’m Looking For
Author: biba79
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine, they belong to Hart Hanson.
Pairings/Characters: Booth/Brennan
Rating: T
Summary: When Brennan fears she may be incapable of truly making love, she asks Booth for help only he can provide. What will his answer be? Season Six. Booth/Brennan.
Word Count: 2,307
Previous Chapters: One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six
A/N: You guys have just been amazing. Thank you all so much for all the reviews.
Song “Hologram” by Katie Herzig
Oh if you don’t want me though
I’ll only want you more
I fall in love with hard to get
You know you’re just like me
A mystery with nothing more to see
A virtual reality
I’m in a love affair without a love song
I’m in the habit of having what I don’t want
I’m just a hologram
You can see but don’t touch me baby
Oh I bet you want me now
Chapter 7
Booth was walking back to the house two hours later. He noticed it was completely dark. It hit him that Brennan was gone. He hurried up the steps, opened the door, flipped on a light and headed for the kitchen; there was no sign of her. Why would she stay? She probably called Angela, or Olivia and John to come and get her - who could blame her. Booth had done a lot of soul searching, trying to figure out why he had said all those hurtful things. He took the steps to the bedroom two at a time. He opened the door of the room, trying to swallow his worst fear that he would find it empty.
He walked in slowly; he dared to breathe again as he saw her silhouette outlined on the bed. The room was lit only by the rapidly setting sun. He sat down beside her and watched her sleep. He had never seen her asleep, at least not like this. His face revealed the love he felt for her, he smiled as he noticed her one hand holding her chin as if she was in deep thought. Her other hand was tucked snuggly under her precious pillow. He reached out to touch her cheek with one finger stroking it lightly.
Brennan stirred a little, stretching out her body. She reached out her arms and opened her eyes in surprise as her hands met with his chest. “Oh… I fell asleep.”
“That’s good, you needed to rest.”
Brennan remembered how he left. She backed away from him warily, sitting up against the backboard of the bed. Booth got up to turn on the bedside lamp.
He sat back down. His remorseful look told her he wanted to patch things up. She was silent, waiting for him to make the first move. He took her hand in his, kissing it tenderly. Brennan felt the tingles course through her body at his touch.
“I’m so sorry for this whole mess. I don’t know what came over me today. You’re right - I have been losing my temper lately a little.”
Brennan raised her eyebrows at this.
“Ok…” he conceded, “A lot lately. Maybe I’ll have to try some of that drink… ” He said, smiling that smile that made it impossible for her to hold a grudge.
She smiled back, he really did want to make amends.
“I think that maybe… I’m a little nervous about it.”
“Me too.” She nodded, looking past him out the window.
“Booth…” “Bones…” They said at the same time.
They both laughed at their timing. “You go first,” he said ready for whatever she had to say.
“I did some thinking before I fell asleep. I think maybe we’re putting too much emphasis on what we expect is supposed to happen and not enough on relaxing and letting nature takes its course.”
Booth nodded in agreement.
“Bones, I brought you here because I thought you would like it… if you don’t… we can go somewhere else… or we could go back to DC…”
“I love it here, Booth; it’s perfect. I never meant the place wasn’t right… it could have been anywhere. I meant that.” She laughed a little remembering how he took it the last time she said it.
He smiled, remembering too.
“I shouldn’t have said the things I said. And I am really sorry about it.”
“I wanted us to be alone. I thought we were going to be in the same house as John and Olivia… I should have realized you wouldn’t be that insensitive…”
“No… Bones… I should have explained it to you… I just wanted to surprise you. I guess I did in a way.”
“Yeah, you did.” She said, softening towards him almost completely. Who could resist those ‘to die for’ eyes.
“So what do you want to do?” He asked her, hoping against hope she would give him another chance.
“I want to eat. I’m starving.”
“I think that can be arranged. What else?”
“Well, after we eat, I’d like to go for a walk.”
“Sure… but it’s getting dark… so I’m not sure you should go out there all alone.”
“Who said anything about being alone?”
Booth breathed a sigh of relief. “Bones, do you still want to go back to D.C. tomorrow?”
“Do you?” She asked, waiting on pins and needles for his answer.
He shook his head, “No, I want to be with you, just like we planned. This is our weekend.” Booth said, realizing he would never be happy with just three days alone with her.
That reminded her that this was her only chance to be with him, without work interrupting and life getting in the way, and that almost made Brennan cry. She wanted to tell him that this was much more than a test for her. It was more than a weekend, more than sex.
“Yes. It’s our weekend. This place is so beautiful, I don’t know how I’m ever going to want to go back.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Booth, one other thing…”
“What?”
“The things you said about my Dad… please don’t ever do that again… it hurts, and you are the last person I would expect those words from.” Her eyes filled with tears as she looked down, fidgeting with her hands.
He tilted her face up, he stroked her cheek. His eyes told her how much he regretted his hurtful words.
“I won’t, I promise. I didn’t mean anything I said. I was just striking out. I don’t know why I said that about him, it was so unfair. I’m so sorry. I hope you forgive me.”
“Booth, don’t you see, I’ll always forgive you, that was why you said it and that’s why it hurt.”
“I’m sorry Bones… I regretted the moment those words came out of my mouth, and I promise I will never say it again. You have to know that.”
“I know he’s not perfect and he did awful things in his life, but he’s my Dad and I just started having a good relationship with him.” Brennan sighed and changed the subject. “Booth, this place… this place is everything you said it would be… ”
All was forgiven.
“You really like it here? Even with John and Liv?”
“I really do. Especially with John and Liv.”
They shared a smile; the bond between them was becoming unbreakable again. With each misunderstanding came a deeper understanding of one another.
“Let’s get something to eat, and then we’ll take that walk.”
X-X-X-X-X-X
“Ah… the air here is so fresh!” Brennan said as they walked along, hands entwined.
“Yeah… It’s peaceful. There’s something healing here. I don’t know how to describe what this place does for me.”
Brennan squeezed his hand lightly. “Tell me.”
“You know what we do, Bones, sometimes I wonder how long I can keep it up. Seeing people murder other people and try to get away with it. I don’t know, but I know I have to do this. Sometimes I feel like it’s ruining me, or sometimes I feel like I’m losing my own identity by the things we see every day. I feel so…”
“I know, Booth.”
“Yeah… of course you do. When I come here, there are no phones ringing off the hook, no place to rush off to, no middle of the night cases. It’s like I have a chance to catch up to myself. Does that make sense?”
Brennan nodded.
“I find myself here, Bones. Somehow when I’m here, I get in touch with who I am, what I really want for my life.”
“What do you want, Booth?”
“The same thing everyone does, Bones. I want my life to mean something, I want a family, you know the whole bit, someone who loves me, siblings for Parker, mortgage payment, all of it.”
This was an unusually candid revelation; Booth didn’t share his feelings easily. Even though Brennan knew what he wanted in life, he had never come out and said it out loud to her before. “I’m sure when you meet the right person, all of that will happen.”
“What do you want, Bones?” He asked, wishing with all his heart that she would say ‘you’.
“Well, you know, I want my career, that’s important.”
She couldn’t tell him that what she wanted was him. This man, who with each passing day was becoming the center of her life again. She had learned so much from him, how to love unconditionally expecting nothing in return. He had been there for her so many times, saved her, died for her; they had laughed together, fought together, cried in each other’s arms. There was no one, and nothing she wanted more than him.
“Just your career, that’s all you want?”
“Maybe someday, when the right person comes along, I would like more.”
Booth looked away from her, the sting of those words ‘when the right person comes along.’ Why couldn’t it be him?
They strolled along in silence. He pulled her hand, and they sat down on a log facing each other in the moonlight.
“This place is really good for you, Booth.”
“Yeah, Liv and John have been so great to me. I can come here when I need to, since it’s not a very long drive. Well, when you don’t get lost that is.” He laughed at himself.
Her hand touched his cheek; she loved it when he laughed. “Booth, I didn’t mean it, when I said you were no better than my Dad. I don’t think being with you is a mistake.” She knew those words had hurt him; she didn’t ever want to do that again.
His hand held hers against his cheek. “It’s okay… I wasn’t treating you right… I deserved it. Those things I said today...” He felt as bad as he did then.
“Olivia said fighting is just part of getting to know someone.”
“Let’s not get to know each other quite that well anymore, at least not tonight, okay?”
“Actually, I was hoping to get much better acquainted Mr. Booth,” She said flirtatiously.
He smiled. “I thought you wanted to wait, Bones.”
“I do. Until we both feel it’s right… I want it to be…natural… not some planned criteria that we have to meet.”
“That actually sounds like something you would do. Schedule your sexual intercourse,” Booth teased her.
“Well, I have learned a thing or two from you.”
“That you have.” He smiled at her. “So we take it one step at a time… just let things happen.”
“Yeah… that’s the best course of action at the moment.”
“I think I’m going to kiss you.” Booth’s lips touched her mouth tentatively, she responded moaning softly as they made incredibly good use of relieving the tension that had bombarded them all day.
They looked up at the sky filled with its array of twinkling stars. The moonlight reflected on the lake, working its magic. A lone star raced across the sky.
“Look, a shooting star. You can’t even see them in the city. Booth, you’re supposed to make a wish.”
“You don’t even believe in things like that Bones.”
“I used to wish when I was a kid. It was something my Mom and I used to do together. You need to make a wish.”
“I don’t need to…”
“Why not?”
“Because, we’re still here enjoying our weekend, Olivia and John are expecting a baby, I’ve been wishing and praying for that for ages, they deserve to be happy with a healthy family. So you see, I don’t need to wish, but you should.”
“I already did.”
“You’ll have to tell me if it comes true.”
“You’ll know.” She said softly.
X-X-X-X-X-X
They entered the house after their walk.
“I can’t believe how tired I am.” She stretched her arms, yawning.
“Yeah, it was such a relaxing day. I can’t imagine why you’d be tired.” He was happy it was ending the way it was. “I’ll sleep here on the couch.”
“Booth, it’s a little silly for you to sleep on the couch when we are hoping to… ”
He was a little taken back by her offer. He wondered how he would be able to go through the night sleeping beside her. “You’re sure?”
She nodded giving him that cute look he found so charming. It reminded him of a shy little girl, unsure of herself, seeking approval.
Booth took her hand, and led her up the stairs to the bedroom.
X-X-X-X-X-X
A/N: So, there you go.
Also, because of the holidays, I won’t be updating this fic again until next weds. Dec 29th. I know I promised twice a week with updates, but I will be so busy that I won’t be able to update. But I promise an update in a week. After that, hopefully updates will be back to twice a week.
One more thing. I just posted a new fic called “Stuck In A Moment” - It’s angsty just like everyone likes it, so please check it out. Especially because that fic is completed and I will be posting it quite frequently.
That’s it. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Please, let me know what you guys think?
Author: biba79
Disclaimer: Characters aren’t mine, they belong to Hart Hanson.
Pairings/Characters: Booth/Brennan
Rating: T
Summary: When Brennan fears she may be incapable of truly making love, she asks Booth for help only he can provide. What will his answer be? Season Six. Booth/Brennan.
Word Count: 2,307
Previous Chapters: One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six
A/N: You guys have just been amazing. Thank you all so much for all the reviews.
Song “Hologram” by Katie Herzig
Oh if you don’t want me though
I’ll only want you more
I fall in love with hard to get
You know you’re just like me
A mystery with nothing more to see
A virtual reality
I’m in a love affair without a love song
I’m in the habit of having what I don’t want
I’m just a hologram
You can see but don’t touch me baby
Oh I bet you want me now
Chapter 7
Booth was walking back to the house two hours later. He noticed it was completely dark. It hit him that Brennan was gone. He hurried up the steps, opened the door, flipped on a light and headed for the kitchen; there was no sign of her. Why would she stay? She probably called Angela, or Olivia and John to come and get her - who could blame her. Booth had done a lot of soul searching, trying to figure out why he had said all those hurtful things. He took the steps to the bedroom two at a time. He opened the door of the room, trying to swallow his worst fear that he would find it empty.
He walked in slowly; he dared to breathe again as he saw her silhouette outlined on the bed. The room was lit only by the rapidly setting sun. He sat down beside her and watched her sleep. He had never seen her asleep, at least not like this. His face revealed the love he felt for her, he smiled as he noticed her one hand holding her chin as if she was in deep thought. Her other hand was tucked snuggly under her precious pillow. He reached out to touch her cheek with one finger stroking it lightly.
Brennan stirred a little, stretching out her body. She reached out her arms and opened her eyes in surprise as her hands met with his chest. “Oh… I fell asleep.”
“That’s good, you needed to rest.”
Brennan remembered how he left. She backed away from him warily, sitting up against the backboard of the bed. Booth got up to turn on the bedside lamp.
He sat back down. His remorseful look told her he wanted to patch things up. She was silent, waiting for him to make the first move. He took her hand in his, kissing it tenderly. Brennan felt the tingles course through her body at his touch.
“I’m so sorry for this whole mess. I don’t know what came over me today. You’re right - I have been losing my temper lately a little.”
Brennan raised her eyebrows at this.
“Ok…” he conceded, “A lot lately. Maybe I’ll have to try some of that drink… ” He said, smiling that smile that made it impossible for her to hold a grudge.
She smiled back, he really did want to make amends.
“I think that maybe… I’m a little nervous about it.”
“Me too.” She nodded, looking past him out the window.
“Booth…” “Bones…” They said at the same time.
They both laughed at their timing. “You go first,” he said ready for whatever she had to say.
“I did some thinking before I fell asleep. I think maybe we’re putting too much emphasis on what we expect is supposed to happen and not enough on relaxing and letting nature takes its course.”
Booth nodded in agreement.
“Bones, I brought you here because I thought you would like it… if you don’t… we can go somewhere else… or we could go back to DC…”
“I love it here, Booth; it’s perfect. I never meant the place wasn’t right… it could have been anywhere. I meant that.” She laughed a little remembering how he took it the last time she said it.
He smiled, remembering too.
“I shouldn’t have said the things I said. And I am really sorry about it.”
“I wanted us to be alone. I thought we were going to be in the same house as John and Olivia… I should have realized you wouldn’t be that insensitive…”
“No… Bones… I should have explained it to you… I just wanted to surprise you. I guess I did in a way.”
“Yeah, you did.” She said, softening towards him almost completely. Who could resist those ‘to die for’ eyes.
“So what do you want to do?” He asked her, hoping against hope she would give him another chance.
“I want to eat. I’m starving.”
“I think that can be arranged. What else?”
“Well, after we eat, I’d like to go for a walk.”
“Sure… but it’s getting dark… so I’m not sure you should go out there all alone.”
“Who said anything about being alone?”
Booth breathed a sigh of relief. “Bones, do you still want to go back to D.C. tomorrow?”
“Do you?” She asked, waiting on pins and needles for his answer.
He shook his head, “No, I want to be with you, just like we planned. This is our weekend.” Booth said, realizing he would never be happy with just three days alone with her.
That reminded her that this was her only chance to be with him, without work interrupting and life getting in the way, and that almost made Brennan cry. She wanted to tell him that this was much more than a test for her. It was more than a weekend, more than sex.
“Yes. It’s our weekend. This place is so beautiful, I don’t know how I’m ever going to want to go back.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Booth, one other thing…”
“What?”
“The things you said about my Dad… please don’t ever do that again… it hurts, and you are the last person I would expect those words from.” Her eyes filled with tears as she looked down, fidgeting with her hands.
He tilted her face up, he stroked her cheek. His eyes told her how much he regretted his hurtful words.
“I won’t, I promise. I didn’t mean anything I said. I was just striking out. I don’t know why I said that about him, it was so unfair. I’m so sorry. I hope you forgive me.”
“Booth, don’t you see, I’ll always forgive you, that was why you said it and that’s why it hurt.”
“I’m sorry Bones… I regretted the moment those words came out of my mouth, and I promise I will never say it again. You have to know that.”
“I know he’s not perfect and he did awful things in his life, but he’s my Dad and I just started having a good relationship with him.” Brennan sighed and changed the subject. “Booth, this place… this place is everything you said it would be… ”
All was forgiven.
“You really like it here? Even with John and Liv?”
“I really do. Especially with John and Liv.”
They shared a smile; the bond between them was becoming unbreakable again. With each misunderstanding came a deeper understanding of one another.
“Let’s get something to eat, and then we’ll take that walk.”
X-X-X-X-X-X
“Ah… the air here is so fresh!” Brennan said as they walked along, hands entwined.
“Yeah… It’s peaceful. There’s something healing here. I don’t know how to describe what this place does for me.”
Brennan squeezed his hand lightly. “Tell me.”
“You know what we do, Bones, sometimes I wonder how long I can keep it up. Seeing people murder other people and try to get away with it. I don’t know, but I know I have to do this. Sometimes I feel like it’s ruining me, or sometimes I feel like I’m losing my own identity by the things we see every day. I feel so…”
“I know, Booth.”
“Yeah… of course you do. When I come here, there are no phones ringing off the hook, no place to rush off to, no middle of the night cases. It’s like I have a chance to catch up to myself. Does that make sense?”
Brennan nodded.
“I find myself here, Bones. Somehow when I’m here, I get in touch with who I am, what I really want for my life.”
“What do you want, Booth?”
“The same thing everyone does, Bones. I want my life to mean something, I want a family, you know the whole bit, someone who loves me, siblings for Parker, mortgage payment, all of it.”
This was an unusually candid revelation; Booth didn’t share his feelings easily. Even though Brennan knew what he wanted in life, he had never come out and said it out loud to her before. “I’m sure when you meet the right person, all of that will happen.”
“What do you want, Bones?” He asked, wishing with all his heart that she would say ‘you’.
“Well, you know, I want my career, that’s important.”
She couldn’t tell him that what she wanted was him. This man, who with each passing day was becoming the center of her life again. She had learned so much from him, how to love unconditionally expecting nothing in return. He had been there for her so many times, saved her, died for her; they had laughed together, fought together, cried in each other’s arms. There was no one, and nothing she wanted more than him.
“Just your career, that’s all you want?”
“Maybe someday, when the right person comes along, I would like more.”
Booth looked away from her, the sting of those words ‘when the right person comes along.’ Why couldn’t it be him?
They strolled along in silence. He pulled her hand, and they sat down on a log facing each other in the moonlight.
“This place is really good for you, Booth.”
“Yeah, Liv and John have been so great to me. I can come here when I need to, since it’s not a very long drive. Well, when you don’t get lost that is.” He laughed at himself.
Her hand touched his cheek; she loved it when he laughed. “Booth, I didn’t mean it, when I said you were no better than my Dad. I don’t think being with you is a mistake.” She knew those words had hurt him; she didn’t ever want to do that again.
His hand held hers against his cheek. “It’s okay… I wasn’t treating you right… I deserved it. Those things I said today...” He felt as bad as he did then.
“Olivia said fighting is just part of getting to know someone.”
“Let’s not get to know each other quite that well anymore, at least not tonight, okay?”
“Actually, I was hoping to get much better acquainted Mr. Booth,” She said flirtatiously.
He smiled. “I thought you wanted to wait, Bones.”
“I do. Until we both feel it’s right… I want it to be…natural… not some planned criteria that we have to meet.”
“That actually sounds like something you would do. Schedule your sexual intercourse,” Booth teased her.
“Well, I have learned a thing or two from you.”
“That you have.” He smiled at her. “So we take it one step at a time… just let things happen.”
“Yeah… that’s the best course of action at the moment.”
“I think I’m going to kiss you.” Booth’s lips touched her mouth tentatively, she responded moaning softly as they made incredibly good use of relieving the tension that had bombarded them all day.
They looked up at the sky filled with its array of twinkling stars. The moonlight reflected on the lake, working its magic. A lone star raced across the sky.
“Look, a shooting star. You can’t even see them in the city. Booth, you’re supposed to make a wish.”
“You don’t even believe in things like that Bones.”
“I used to wish when I was a kid. It was something my Mom and I used to do together. You need to make a wish.”
“I don’t need to…”
“Why not?”
“Because, we’re still here enjoying our weekend, Olivia and John are expecting a baby, I’ve been wishing and praying for that for ages, they deserve to be happy with a healthy family. So you see, I don’t need to wish, but you should.”
“I already did.”
“You’ll have to tell me if it comes true.”
“You’ll know.” She said softly.
X-X-X-X-X-X
They entered the house after their walk.
“I can’t believe how tired I am.” She stretched her arms, yawning.
“Yeah, it was such a relaxing day. I can’t imagine why you’d be tired.” He was happy it was ending the way it was. “I’ll sleep here on the couch.”
“Booth, it’s a little silly for you to sleep on the couch when we are hoping to… ”
He was a little taken back by her offer. He wondered how he would be able to go through the night sleeping beside her. “You’re sure?”
She nodded giving him that cute look he found so charming. It reminded him of a shy little girl, unsure of herself, seeking approval.
Booth took her hand, and led her up the stairs to the bedroom.
X-X-X-X-X-X
A/N: So, there you go.
Also, because of the holidays, I won’t be updating this fic again until next weds. Dec 29th. I know I promised twice a week with updates, but I will be so busy that I won’t be able to update. But I promise an update in a week. After that, hopefully updates will be back to twice a week.
One more thing. I just posted a new fic called “Stuck In A Moment” - It’s angsty just like everyone likes it, so please check it out. Especially because that fic is completed and I will be posting it quite frequently.
That’s it. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Please, let me know what you guys think?