If I tell you that my daughter for some reason finds me so repulsive that she could never buy (unsanitizable) clothes at a store I have shopped at, since the mere possibility of me having brushed against it while browsing would make it permanently, irrevocably tainted… and that this sort of thing has been happening for years, including a period of
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I hope that you have places to go and people to vent to when you need to (I volunteer long distance)
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