Hi Livejournal!

[beyondfake_0]

Wow, it's been a while since I have updated here. I have been doing more journaling in my small personal journal I carry with me these days. Anyway, I thought I might do an update here, because this journal has been an archive of my life for the last 10 years

Comments

[michechu]

I know we haven't spoken in a very long time, but I wanted to voice my support! I'm happy to hear that you seem to be dealing with your PTSD well and that you have a great support system. There's nothing better than friends and family to help with the healing process, and it sounds like you're well on your way there.

Good luck with school!

[beyondfake_0]

Yeah, Anna had me pretty much isolated from my friends and family by the end of our relationship. She expected me to consider her my only family, because my family was dysfunctional. I've learned that is a control tactic, and abusive.

When I left her, I felt so alone, but I found out who my real friends were, and learned to trust family members. I stayed Anna's friend for a month or so, and it was me dating and making new friends that finally pushed her over the edge and cut ties.

Thanks for the comment! It is good to hear from you.

[michechu]

I'm sorry to hear about how things turned out with you and Anna. But I've seen so many of my close friends and family members in abusive relationships, and I'm glad that you were able to see the signs before it escalated. A lot of people don't, especially when the relationship isn't actually physically abusive, and then years down the road they find themselves stuck in an impossible situation.

And who knows, maybe it was good for both of you. I don't know the situation, but it's possible that Anna didn't even realize she was being abusive and now she can step back and think things over (hopefully) with a clear head. It's definitely something she should get straightened out before entering into any future relationships.

[morning_stand]

I'm really glad to hear that things are going well with you :)

[beyondfake_0]

Thank you!

[lafinjack]

omghi2u

[beyondfake_0]

hi2u2

[vivadawolf]

Hooray :) This all sounds great.

Im not sure what makes you anxious (costco thing) but a lot of times I reward myself or the whole trip ends with a reward. Aka oh god oh god i dont want to go into this store even tho i want cupcakes but its scary inside GO INSIDE yay i went inside hey YAY CUPCAKES

[beyondfake_0]

There are a lot of things that make me anxious that are connected to my trauma. But crowded spaces, cluttered spaces are a big part of that.

And yeah! Rewarding yourself is a good way to self sooth. The pizza was my reward that day, I went to a friend's house afterwards and hung out.

[anonymous]

So happy for you !

[beyondfake_0]

Thanks anon! <3