OMG FIC! I finished a fic! Whoo for deadlines!
Title: Professor Quark and the Quick Study
Author: Bethos (Bethdrgyn@aol.com)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Quark/Odo
Summary: Quark does his bit to help Odo win Kira. Set during "Crossfire".
Warnings: Um ... kinda PWP-y.
A/N: This is for sabine101, for the DS9 ficathon at ds9agogo - linkie here. I don't know if it's *exactly* what she was looking for, in that the plot I was meaning to put in kind of didn't happen, but I gave it my best shot. I really did have massive things planned out plotwise, but then Odo and Quark decided that they just wanted to have sex. So, um, that's pretty much what they did. Hats off to teza for the beta. And also for putting up with all the blathering I did at her while writing. ;-)
"Look, Odo, I said I'd do you a favor," Quark said heatedly. "I said I'd help you out. But you have to cooperate."
Odo looked at him, hesitantly. He stood there in his Bajoran security officer's uniform, bewildered, and if Quark didn't know any better he'd say the changeling was frightened. As if there was anything to be scared of. "Cooperate ... how?" Odo said, helplessly. The single strand of hair that had escaped from the smoothed-back 'do was really getting on Quark's nerves. Odo'd actually gone out in public like that? All the way down from his own quarters to Quark's? And he *still* hadn't fixed it?
"Don't just stand there!" Quark said, glowering up at him. "Form a clitoris!"
Odo stared back at him, shocked. "What?"
Quark sat down on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands. "Odo," he groaned between his fingers, "this isn't *working*."
"I'm trying," Odo growled back.
"No you're not," Quark retorted, "you aren't even doing anything."
"You said you would teach me," Odo snapped. "Now, I'm an excellent student, but not when my teacher doesn't actually offer me any actual information." He stalked toward the door. "If you're not going to help me, I don't see any reason to continue this ... farce any longer."
Quark knew an opportunity when he saw it, and presently, this one was about to exit through his front door. He got off the bed and crossed the room to catch Odo by the wrist. "Wait, wait, *wait*," he said.
Odo turned and looked at him, his expression disgruntled.
Quark tried to organize his thoughts.
"Well?" Odo drawled. "I'm *waiting*."
"All right," Quark said. "You are anatomically male. Yeah?"
"As much as I am anatomically anything."
"And the major is as anatomically female as any anatomical female I ever saw," Quark said, not quite able to keep the leer out of his voice.
Odo scowled at him. Which was to say that the scowl deepened; Odo was always scowling. "Quark ..."
"Which means," Quark continued blithely, "that the best way for you to seduce the major is to first develop a working knowledge of female anatomy. Correct?"
"I don't want to seduce Major Kira," Odo said.
Quark blinked at him. "What?"
"I want her to ..." Odo trailed off, apparently having difficulty saying the words.
"The best way to make a woman love you," pontificated Quark, rendering Odo the beneficiary of his considerable expertise, "is by pleasuring her."
Odo hesitated. Then he said, "All right."
"So," Quark said brightly, "you have to form a clitoris, so that I can show you what to *do* with one when you get that far."
"When I get that far," Odo said. "When I get that far? When?" Odo turned and started heading for the door again, just when Quark had almost got him back to the bed. "This is a mistake."
"It's not a mistake!" Quark said. "But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I know you've never ... coupled. But ... what have you done?"
"Done?" Odo stared at him, clearly incredibly confused.
Quark was beginning to think he might be dealing with a hopeless cause. "Done! You know ... done?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Odo growled.
"Odo, have you never even *kissed* a woman?" Quark demanded, exasperated.
"No."
"Never," Quark repeated.
Odo glared at him. "Why would I have done that?"
"Wh ... why?" It was as if Odo was suddenly speaking a different language.
"Kissing is an ..." Odo started to say, but Quark cut him off.
"That can't be right, you have to *know*," Quark said. "Here, let me show you." After all, it wouldn't be any good selling seduction to Odo if Odo didn't even know the meaning of the word. This was business, and Quark always went exactly as far as he needed to, in business.
He grabbed Odo by the wrist and pulled the bewildered changeling in close, part of his brain pretending that it was someone else - one of the Dabo girls, Natima Lang, hell, Jadzia Dax - but there really wasn't any way it could be any of those, not with how unyielding the body he was pulling into his embrace. Odo was beyond tense - his whole body was as stiff as a board. He was plainly terrified. "Relax," Quark said. "I'm not going to *bite* you." He grinned. "That's another lesson."
Odo, who had started to relax, started to tense up again. He opened his mouth to say, "Quark ..." in a warning tone, but didn't get further than the "Qua" before Quark captured his mouth with his own and kissed his old adversary. And since Odo's mouth was conveniently open, Quark slid his tongue through the opening and began probing, tasting, trying to provoke some kind of reaction from a man who, let's face it, was about as cold a cold fish as cold fish got.
He tilted his head back to release his mouth, not letting go of Odo - no matter how much the guy clearly wanted to run away - and said, "You have to *participate*, Odo."
"How?" Odo demanded.
"You're - ..." Quark stopped. "Learn by doing. Just ... stick your tongue in my mouth."
"Why?"
"It's supposed to be pleasurable."
"For her or for me?" Odo hesitated. "I don't want to just -"
Quark snorted. "For both of you, you big ... no. Sex is an experience to be shared, it's not just for one or the other of you ..." Well, with exceptions, but Odo was in no way ready to hear about it. He wondered if he could come up with away to apply an exploration of a Bajoran woman's erogenous zones to oo-mox. He didn't think so. "Just try it, okay?" The possibilities of Odo's shape-shifting capabilities offered all kinds of erotic possibilities to Quark's overactive imagination, a speculation that he had never even thought to explore for an instant. Situationally, though ...
Odo brought his mouth carefully to Quark's, delicately as though he were terrified of breaking - something - and pressed their lips together. Quark opened his mouth a little and waited for Odo to make the first move; it took time, and when he finally did so he was extremely tentative at first, his tongue gentle and delicate as it explored Quark's mouth. When he pulled back, Quark had to stand there quietly for a second to organize his thoughts again.
"Well?" Odo said.
Quark found his voice. "That was ... very impressive. For a beginner, I mean. Hey - you don't generate saliva, do you?"
"No. Humanoid tongues are moist, so is mine. But I can't leave my moisture behind. It's part of me. I take it with me." Odo frowned. "Is that ... bad?"
"No!" Quark said hurriedly. "No, it's, uh, good. It's very good. But I think you should try to be a little more forceful."
"Forceful?" Odo blinked at him.
"You seem a little ... scared."
"I've never done this before!" Odo retorted, annoyed.
"No, I mean ..." Quark shook his head, suddenly very aware of the fact that he and Odo were still holding each other. He let go, and Odo quickly did the same. "You just come off as scared because you're so hesitant. With your tongue. You're not going to break me with it. Uh, or Major Kira."
"I'll try again," Odo said. This time he pulled Quark into his arms and kissed him, forced Quark's mouth open with his tongue, and plundered his mouth with it.
Quark pulled himself away, gasping. "Odo," he said, wiping his mouth despite the fact that Odo, true to his word, hadn't left any moisture there. "Kira and I both need to breathe!"
"Oh." Odo looked embarrassed. "Right."
"But uh, you're definitely on the right track." Quark wondered if there was a way this could possibly get more awkward. Oh! There was an idea. "Well, I guess I'd better take off my clothes."
"What?" Odo stared at him.
Quark sighed. "I have to show you the next step, Odo. The next step requires an absence of my pajamas." He started undoing the fastenings on his pajamas, feeling spectacularly unaroused. Then he thought about that last kiss, and the possibilities of consciously regulated mouth temperature on certain other parts of the anatomy, and felt himself getting back into the mood.
"Should I ...?" Odo asked.
Quark nodded. "Best to see what we have to work with here," he said. "Although I guess you can have anything to work with you want," he added thoughtfully.
Quark had been expecting a physical body beneath Odo's uniform as generic and unfinished-looking as his facial features were; he was surprised to find that although it was pretty blandly humanoid, Odo hadn't overlooked the creation of things that Quark wouldn't have expected him to remember, like nipples. And pubic hair. He looked, as a matter of fact, the way an average naked Bajoran man would look.
"How come you can do that, but you can't make a face?" Quark asked.
Odo shrugged. "It's my face," he said diffidently.
Quark slid the rest of the way out of his pajamas, feeling strangely self-conscious in the face of Odo's manufactured nudity. It wasn't that Quark was ashamed of his naked body; in fact, some days he thought about advertising by leading his dabo girls on a naked parade around the Promenade, but he was usually slightly drunk when these thoughts occurred and yet still sensible enough to realize that Odo wouldn't let him get away with any such stunt. It was just that in front of a man who could look like whatever he damn well pleased, it was unsettling displaying his own natural assets.
"The one thing that really makes this difficult is that, well, the major is ... a woman," Quark admitted, before continuing hurriedly, "but when you can learn to please one lover, you can learn to please another. It's all a matter of finding the, uh, erogenous zones." He looked up at Odo. "Do you *have* erogenous zones?"
"I don't know," Odo said.
"Any part of your body that is particularly sensitive to touch?" Quark pressed.
Odo looked annoyed. "Quark, my entire *body* is particularly sensitive to touch."
Quark contemplated that in brief silence: the idea of one's entire body being a gigantic erogenous zone.
"What is that, what are you doing?" Odo demanded, pointing at Quark's rising penis.
Quark stared at him for a second. He put his hands on his hips. "Don't panic, Odo. It's an *erection*. Doing ... it's not *voluntary*, it just sort of - you've never had one! It's never happened to you!"
"Of course it hasn't, my body movements are always entirely under my complete control," Odo responded testily, glaring down at him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Just - you -" Quark shook his head. "Never mind. Just never mind, Odo. All right, when a solid male such as myself or, for example, the men that Major Kira is accustomed to coupling with ..."
"Like Shakaar," Odo growled.
"Or Bareil, yes," Quark said, nodding. "Um ... men get erections. It's when you're, uh, sexually aroused, and the blood rushes to your penis, and it gets, um, lift. And hardens."
He reached down with one hand and started to encourage Little Quark to assist in the demonstration. With the other hand, he started massaging his own ear. Oo-moxing yourself was never as good as getting someone else to do it for you, but it was a good way to get things rolling.
"So your ears are your erogenous zones," Odo said, "but I have no way of knowing what Major Kira's are."
It felt somehow incongruous to be discussing Kira's erogenous zones *while* using her title, but Quark let it lie. "Yeah," he said. "Not 'til you get a chance to find out for yourself." He grinned. "But one of the things you do, when ... initiating intimacy, is explore your partner's body. You find the right places and you find out what to do with them."
"How do you know?" Odo asked helplessly.
"Well, obviously you experiment," Quark said. "Like, if I were Major Kira ..."
Odo snorted his derision.
"All right, if I were me having sex with you," Quark said, rolling his eyes. "And I wanted to find out where your most sensitive parts are, I'd start - by kissing you, which is an old favorite, generally well-received ..." He caught Odo by the upper arm and pulled him in for another kiss, a bit more playfully this time. The changeling seemed confused but willing enough, and even got into the tongueplay once he figured out what Quark was trying to do. Good enough for a beginner. He *was* an extremely fast learner, and it was nice not having your novice partner's spittle all over your chin after the initial experimentation ...
"And then," Quark said, kissing Odo's neck, "I'd start heading downwards ... like this." He slid one of his hands slowly down Odo's back towards his ass, exploring the territory - very smooth, which wasn't all that surprising, although not completely without variation; it seemed that Odo had molded his body pretty damn well. There were even traces of body hair to the texture, which Quark hadn't been expecting; it didn't seem like Odo, with his sleek pulled-back hair, would think to put any elsewhere on his body. There was even some thicker brush under his arms, although not *too* much; it seemed that the security chief was as fastidious about his body as he was about the Promenade, which Quark found kind of funny. He also took the opportunity to reach up with his other hand and tweak the escaped strand of hair into something akin to its proper place, because it really had been driving him nuts.
"Uh, what do I do with my hands?" Odo asked plaintively.
"What do you *want* to do with your hands?" Quark returned, smirking a little. Then he rolled his eyes at Odo's obvious confusion and fear. "Just ... do what you think I'd *like* you to do with them. Explore me. Explore my body. Kira's not going to *tell* you what she wants, unless she's an extraordinarily unusual female, and so I'm not going to just *tell* you either."
"That's cheating," Quark added as Odo's hands went to his lobes. "You already know about tha -- aa -- ahaaaa!"
Odo's touch started out firm, but as he got more certain about what he was doing, his flesh went partially but not entirely liquid, still gently massaging Quark's ears but in a way that was completely contoured to their shape in a way that no humanoid's fingers could ever conceivably do.
"Good?" Odo asked, as if Quark's panting and eye-rolling weren't encouragement enough.
"Good, yes, good," Quark gasped, as the warm pressure continued. "Can you - do that - aaahhh - anywhere?"
"I suppose I could," Odo said. "It's not difficult."
"Not difficult!" Quark hooted. "Ohhh. Odo, if you can find the right place to do *that* to Kira ... stop, stop, stop."
Odo released his ears. "Stop?" he asked, reforming his hands into something more recognizably humanoid.
"Yeah," Quark gasped, nodding. "I don't think ... well." He took a deep breath, let it out. He was still as hard as a rock. "If there's one thing a woman appreciates, it's a man who knows how to use his tongue. Lemme show you. Give me an erection, will you?"
Odo examined Quark's penis in a moment that felt really surreal. Soon afterwards he had a respectable erection of his own. "Like that?"
"Yeah." Quark knelt in front of him, gripped him by the hips, and said, "Now, I'm not an expert at this, but I've had it done to me often enough ..." And he started giving Odo a blow job, figuring that although Kira didn't have a penis, he did, and he wanted to see that it was as well taken care of as his ears ... and Quark was sure Kira would appreciate a lover who understood what oral sex was, in any event.
Eventually Quark released Odo's penis and got up, wiping his mouth. "You see?"
"You want me to do that to you?" Odo said.
"It's not exactly the same for a woman of course," Quark admitted, since that was painfully obvious. "But the principle's aren't that different. I mean, in a lot of ways a clitoris is just a really small penis."
Odo hesitated. Then he said, "All right." He imitated Quark's previous stance - on his knees, his hands on Quark's hips for balance, which Quark suspected that Odo didn't expect he'd need.
Fellatio from a shapeshifter was all that he could possibly have imagined and more; Odo's mouth could do just about anything, he didn't need to breathe, and he could, to an extent, regulate his own body temperature at will. The strangest sensation was that of moisture, because despite feeling that Odo's tongue sliding up and down his shaft was damp, he could also tell that there wasn't any getting left *behind*. Given spoken directions - or rather, moaned directions - Odo was an incredible erotic adventure. If he could find a holosuite programmer to duplicate this, he'd make more latinum than whoever had first sold Vulcan Love Slave.
When Quark couldn't hold it in any longer, hot semen spurted into Odo's mouth. Odo wrenched back, startled, and spat it out, all over the floor.
"Sorry," Quark panted. "Should've given you some - warning ..."
Odo looked down at the floor. "Uh ..."
"Don't worry about it," Quark said, letting himself slide onto the bed on his stomach, on top of his comforter. "I'll get it later. For now I've got something else I want you to do."
Odo looked worried. "What?"
"I want you to do me, Odo." Quark grinned over his shoulder at the changeling's confusion. "Sex."
Odo looked confused. "What did we just do?"
"I think the technical term is fellatio," Quark said after a moment. It wasn't something that he ordinarily had to call up from memory. "It's oral sex. There's more."
"More," Odo repeated.
"Penetration," Quark explained. Part of him felt extremely ridiculous. The rest was just surreal. He pushed himself up to his hands and knees. "Here, I don't have a vagina like Kira, but this'll do for an approximation," he coaxed. "Just take your penis - uh. I guess I won't need lube, if you can be really slick?"
"You want me to ..." Odo looked down at his erection, and then pointed at Quark's buttocks. "There?"
"Yeah," Quark said, nodding.
"Humanoids do this?" Odo asked.
"Of course," Quark said, puzzled by Odo's confusion. "All the time. It's ... you know. Intimacy. Sharing. Sex. Of course, you probably won't do exactly the same with Major Kira - unless she wants you to -" Far be it from Quark to speculate on whether or not Kira liked to take it in the ass. Actually, he might speculate on it, but Odo was the last he'd tell. "But the idea - of entering, of penetrating, of getting *inside* your partner, that's the same."
Odo was silent as he considered this. "This is as close as solids can come to the Link," he said.
Quark had no idea. "Uh ... probably," he said.
Odo nodded. Then he slid one hand over Quark's buttocks and then into the crack between them.
Quark twitched at the contact. He hadn't been expecting Odo to do it. For most of this Quark had had to initiate everything; Odo taking the initiative confused him slightly.
"Slick," he said, tensing and relaxing his buttocks as the changeling felt around in there. "Remember to be slick." It was an unusual feeling, as though Odo were testing to find where the best place to put his cock would be.
Quark was no virgin or anything - most Ferengi businessmen weren't; there was always that one boss that you had while you were a reasonably young male who felt the need to broke you in, especially when you, like Quark, had perfected that "innocent cherub" look for their benefit ... and Quark lived his life by the Rules of Acquisition, even at a young age, so he'd done what was expected of him. And over the years, commerce had led him to the realization that when you were willing to have sex with aliens and were attracted to the idea of doing so, having sex with *males* was *easy* ... and the willingness to do so could only help his popularity and never hindered it.
Quark opened his mouth to say something else, but completely forgot what it had been going to be when Odo's penis - hard and hot and, yes, slick - thrust into him. He gasped at the suddenness of it. Odo didn't seem to know what to do next; Quark arched onto him, trying to encourage him to pump. "You - have - to - move," Quark said, as he writhed, impaled, on Odo's shaft.
Then, an unsettling sensation: Odo's penis was moving without the rest of him, exploring like it had a mind of its own. Quark squeaked as the changeling found his prostate, and Odo apparently took this for encouragement, because he focused his attentions on it and started massaging it with his penis, similarly to the oo-mox he had performed earlier. It was weird, because no one had ever managed to oo-mox any part of Quark that was not his ears before, but also the strongest sensation of sexual pleasure that he could remember feeling offhand. For a second Quark thought that he was going to die of carnal gratification, and wouldn't that be fun story to tell the Blessed Exchequer when he arrived ... and then he exploded all over his comforter, helpless against Odo's onslaught, and then utterly drained - and certainly not thinking clearly - he flopped forward onto the bed, into his own mess.
"Oh my," he said, his voice muffled by his pillow. There weren't enough words, in any language, to describe what had just happened.
Odo slid out of him. The relatively cool air of his quarters felt strange and fresh against his skin. He let out a hissing breath. "Uh ... I *don't* think there's much more I can teach you, Odo. That was ..." He stopped. "I'd better take a shower."
"And ... that ... could use cleaning, too," Odo said gruffly. He had reformed his uniform.
"Yeah," Quark said. It felt like too much effort to move. But laying sprawled in a puddle of his own semen didn't seem like a particularly grand way of spending the rest of the night, either. "Uhh ... let me know how it turns out."
"I ... will," Odo said. He was already at the door, looking extremely thoughtful. "Er ... Quark?"
Quark grinned. "Don't thank *me*, Odo. You did it all yourself. I'm just the ..." He waved his hand vaguely. "Practice dummy. Go out there and win your true love."
Odo left.
Quark eventually got himself to get out of bed. He bundled up his comforter and took it to the replicator in his wall. It wasn't like it wasn't replaceable. Then he trundled into the bathroom and started the sonic shower. Before he got in, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror.
"Give you three to one odds he chickens out before he even gets to her door," he said to it.
Finis
Author: Bethos (Bethdrgyn@aol.com)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Quark/Odo
Summary: Quark does his bit to help Odo win Kira. Set during "Crossfire".
Warnings: Um ... kinda PWP-y.
A/N: This is for sabine101, for the DS9 ficathon at ds9agogo - linkie here. I don't know if it's *exactly* what she was looking for, in that the plot I was meaning to put in kind of didn't happen, but I gave it my best shot. I really did have massive things planned out plotwise, but then Odo and Quark decided that they just wanted to have sex. So, um, that's pretty much what they did. Hats off to teza for the beta. And also for putting up with all the blathering I did at her while writing. ;-)
"Look, Odo, I said I'd do you a favor," Quark said heatedly. "I said I'd help you out. But you have to cooperate."
Odo looked at him, hesitantly. He stood there in his Bajoran security officer's uniform, bewildered, and if Quark didn't know any better he'd say the changeling was frightened. As if there was anything to be scared of. "Cooperate ... how?" Odo said, helplessly. The single strand of hair that had escaped from the smoothed-back 'do was really getting on Quark's nerves. Odo'd actually gone out in public like that? All the way down from his own quarters to Quark's? And he *still* hadn't fixed it?
"Don't just stand there!" Quark said, glowering up at him. "Form a clitoris!"
Odo stared back at him, shocked. "What?"
Quark sat down on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands. "Odo," he groaned between his fingers, "this isn't *working*."
"I'm trying," Odo growled back.
"No you're not," Quark retorted, "you aren't even doing anything."
"You said you would teach me," Odo snapped. "Now, I'm an excellent student, but not when my teacher doesn't actually offer me any actual information." He stalked toward the door. "If you're not going to help me, I don't see any reason to continue this ... farce any longer."
Quark knew an opportunity when he saw it, and presently, this one was about to exit through his front door. He got off the bed and crossed the room to catch Odo by the wrist. "Wait, wait, *wait*," he said.
Odo turned and looked at him, his expression disgruntled.
Quark tried to organize his thoughts.
"Well?" Odo drawled. "I'm *waiting*."
"All right," Quark said. "You are anatomically male. Yeah?"
"As much as I am anatomically anything."
"And the major is as anatomically female as any anatomical female I ever saw," Quark said, not quite able to keep the leer out of his voice.
Odo scowled at him. Which was to say that the scowl deepened; Odo was always scowling. "Quark ..."
"Which means," Quark continued blithely, "that the best way for you to seduce the major is to first develop a working knowledge of female anatomy. Correct?"
"I don't want to seduce Major Kira," Odo said.
Quark blinked at him. "What?"
"I want her to ..." Odo trailed off, apparently having difficulty saying the words.
"The best way to make a woman love you," pontificated Quark, rendering Odo the beneficiary of his considerable expertise, "is by pleasuring her."
Odo hesitated. Then he said, "All right."
"So," Quark said brightly, "you have to form a clitoris, so that I can show you what to *do* with one when you get that far."
"When I get that far," Odo said. "When I get that far? When?" Odo turned and started heading for the door again, just when Quark had almost got him back to the bed. "This is a mistake."
"It's not a mistake!" Quark said. "But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. I know you've never ... coupled. But ... what have you done?"
"Done?" Odo stared at him, clearly incredibly confused.
Quark was beginning to think he might be dealing with a hopeless cause. "Done! You know ... done?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Odo growled.
"Odo, have you never even *kissed* a woman?" Quark demanded, exasperated.
"No."
"Never," Quark repeated.
Odo glared at him. "Why would I have done that?"
"Wh ... why?" It was as if Odo was suddenly speaking a different language.
"Kissing is an ..." Odo started to say, but Quark cut him off.
"That can't be right, you have to *know*," Quark said. "Here, let me show you." After all, it wouldn't be any good selling seduction to Odo if Odo didn't even know the meaning of the word. This was business, and Quark always went exactly as far as he needed to, in business.
He grabbed Odo by the wrist and pulled the bewildered changeling in close, part of his brain pretending that it was someone else - one of the Dabo girls, Natima Lang, hell, Jadzia Dax - but there really wasn't any way it could be any of those, not with how unyielding the body he was pulling into his embrace. Odo was beyond tense - his whole body was as stiff as a board. He was plainly terrified. "Relax," Quark said. "I'm not going to *bite* you." He grinned. "That's another lesson."
Odo, who had started to relax, started to tense up again. He opened his mouth to say, "Quark ..." in a warning tone, but didn't get further than the "Qua" before Quark captured his mouth with his own and kissed his old adversary. And since Odo's mouth was conveniently open, Quark slid his tongue through the opening and began probing, tasting, trying to provoke some kind of reaction from a man who, let's face it, was about as cold a cold fish as cold fish got.
He tilted his head back to release his mouth, not letting go of Odo - no matter how much the guy clearly wanted to run away - and said, "You have to *participate*, Odo."
"How?" Odo demanded.
"You're - ..." Quark stopped. "Learn by doing. Just ... stick your tongue in my mouth."
"Why?"
"It's supposed to be pleasurable."
"For her or for me?" Odo hesitated. "I don't want to just -"
Quark snorted. "For both of you, you big ... no. Sex is an experience to be shared, it's not just for one or the other of you ..." Well, with exceptions, but Odo was in no way ready to hear about it. He wondered if he could come up with away to apply an exploration of a Bajoran woman's erogenous zones to oo-mox. He didn't think so. "Just try it, okay?" The possibilities of Odo's shape-shifting capabilities offered all kinds of erotic possibilities to Quark's overactive imagination, a speculation that he had never even thought to explore for an instant. Situationally, though ...
Odo brought his mouth carefully to Quark's, delicately as though he were terrified of breaking - something - and pressed their lips together. Quark opened his mouth a little and waited for Odo to make the first move; it took time, and when he finally did so he was extremely tentative at first, his tongue gentle and delicate as it explored Quark's mouth. When he pulled back, Quark had to stand there quietly for a second to organize his thoughts again.
"Well?" Odo said.
Quark found his voice. "That was ... very impressive. For a beginner, I mean. Hey - you don't generate saliva, do you?"
"No. Humanoid tongues are moist, so is mine. But I can't leave my moisture behind. It's part of me. I take it with me." Odo frowned. "Is that ... bad?"
"No!" Quark said hurriedly. "No, it's, uh, good. It's very good. But I think you should try to be a little more forceful."
"Forceful?" Odo blinked at him.
"You seem a little ... scared."
"I've never done this before!" Odo retorted, annoyed.
"No, I mean ..." Quark shook his head, suddenly very aware of the fact that he and Odo were still holding each other. He let go, and Odo quickly did the same. "You just come off as scared because you're so hesitant. With your tongue. You're not going to break me with it. Uh, or Major Kira."
"I'll try again," Odo said. This time he pulled Quark into his arms and kissed him, forced Quark's mouth open with his tongue, and plundered his mouth with it.
Quark pulled himself away, gasping. "Odo," he said, wiping his mouth despite the fact that Odo, true to his word, hadn't left any moisture there. "Kira and I both need to breathe!"
"Oh." Odo looked embarrassed. "Right."
"But uh, you're definitely on the right track." Quark wondered if there was a way this could possibly get more awkward. Oh! There was an idea. "Well, I guess I'd better take off my clothes."
"What?" Odo stared at him.
Quark sighed. "I have to show you the next step, Odo. The next step requires an absence of my pajamas." He started undoing the fastenings on his pajamas, feeling spectacularly unaroused. Then he thought about that last kiss, and the possibilities of consciously regulated mouth temperature on certain other parts of the anatomy, and felt himself getting back into the mood.
"Should I ...?" Odo asked.
Quark nodded. "Best to see what we have to work with here," he said. "Although I guess you can have anything to work with you want," he added thoughtfully.
Quark had been expecting a physical body beneath Odo's uniform as generic and unfinished-looking as his facial features were; he was surprised to find that although it was pretty blandly humanoid, Odo hadn't overlooked the creation of things that Quark wouldn't have expected him to remember, like nipples. And pubic hair. He looked, as a matter of fact, the way an average naked Bajoran man would look.
"How come you can do that, but you can't make a face?" Quark asked.
Odo shrugged. "It's my face," he said diffidently.
Quark slid the rest of the way out of his pajamas, feeling strangely self-conscious in the face of Odo's manufactured nudity. It wasn't that Quark was ashamed of his naked body; in fact, some days he thought about advertising by leading his dabo girls on a naked parade around the Promenade, but he was usually slightly drunk when these thoughts occurred and yet still sensible enough to realize that Odo wouldn't let him get away with any such stunt. It was just that in front of a man who could look like whatever he damn well pleased, it was unsettling displaying his own natural assets.
"The one thing that really makes this difficult is that, well, the major is ... a woman," Quark admitted, before continuing hurriedly, "but when you can learn to please one lover, you can learn to please another. It's all a matter of finding the, uh, erogenous zones." He looked up at Odo. "Do you *have* erogenous zones?"
"I don't know," Odo said.
"Any part of your body that is particularly sensitive to touch?" Quark pressed.
Odo looked annoyed. "Quark, my entire *body* is particularly sensitive to touch."
Quark contemplated that in brief silence: the idea of one's entire body being a gigantic erogenous zone.
"What is that, what are you doing?" Odo demanded, pointing at Quark's rising penis.
Quark stared at him for a second. He put his hands on his hips. "Don't panic, Odo. It's an *erection*. Doing ... it's not *voluntary*, it just sort of - you've never had one! It's never happened to you!"
"Of course it hasn't, my body movements are always entirely under my complete control," Odo responded testily, glaring down at him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Just - you -" Quark shook his head. "Never mind. Just never mind, Odo. All right, when a solid male such as myself or, for example, the men that Major Kira is accustomed to coupling with ..."
"Like Shakaar," Odo growled.
"Or Bareil, yes," Quark said, nodding. "Um ... men get erections. It's when you're, uh, sexually aroused, and the blood rushes to your penis, and it gets, um, lift. And hardens."
He reached down with one hand and started to encourage Little Quark to assist in the demonstration. With the other hand, he started massaging his own ear. Oo-moxing yourself was never as good as getting someone else to do it for you, but it was a good way to get things rolling.
"So your ears are your erogenous zones," Odo said, "but I have no way of knowing what Major Kira's are."
It felt somehow incongruous to be discussing Kira's erogenous zones *while* using her title, but Quark let it lie. "Yeah," he said. "Not 'til you get a chance to find out for yourself." He grinned. "But one of the things you do, when ... initiating intimacy, is explore your partner's body. You find the right places and you find out what to do with them."
"How do you know?" Odo asked helplessly.
"Well, obviously you experiment," Quark said. "Like, if I were Major Kira ..."
Odo snorted his derision.
"All right, if I were me having sex with you," Quark said, rolling his eyes. "And I wanted to find out where your most sensitive parts are, I'd start - by kissing you, which is an old favorite, generally well-received ..." He caught Odo by the upper arm and pulled him in for another kiss, a bit more playfully this time. The changeling seemed confused but willing enough, and even got into the tongueplay once he figured out what Quark was trying to do. Good enough for a beginner. He *was* an extremely fast learner, and it was nice not having your novice partner's spittle all over your chin after the initial experimentation ...
"And then," Quark said, kissing Odo's neck, "I'd start heading downwards ... like this." He slid one of his hands slowly down Odo's back towards his ass, exploring the territory - very smooth, which wasn't all that surprising, although not completely without variation; it seemed that Odo had molded his body pretty damn well. There were even traces of body hair to the texture, which Quark hadn't been expecting; it didn't seem like Odo, with his sleek pulled-back hair, would think to put any elsewhere on his body. There was even some thicker brush under his arms, although not *too* much; it seemed that the security chief was as fastidious about his body as he was about the Promenade, which Quark found kind of funny. He also took the opportunity to reach up with his other hand and tweak the escaped strand of hair into something akin to its proper place, because it really had been driving him nuts.
"Uh, what do I do with my hands?" Odo asked plaintively.
"What do you *want* to do with your hands?" Quark returned, smirking a little. Then he rolled his eyes at Odo's obvious confusion and fear. "Just ... do what you think I'd *like* you to do with them. Explore me. Explore my body. Kira's not going to *tell* you what she wants, unless she's an extraordinarily unusual female, and so I'm not going to just *tell* you either."
"That's cheating," Quark added as Odo's hands went to his lobes. "You already know about tha -- aa -- ahaaaa!"
Odo's touch started out firm, but as he got more certain about what he was doing, his flesh went partially but not entirely liquid, still gently massaging Quark's ears but in a way that was completely contoured to their shape in a way that no humanoid's fingers could ever conceivably do.
"Good?" Odo asked, as if Quark's panting and eye-rolling weren't encouragement enough.
"Good, yes, good," Quark gasped, as the warm pressure continued. "Can you - do that - aaahhh - anywhere?"
"I suppose I could," Odo said. "It's not difficult."
"Not difficult!" Quark hooted. "Ohhh. Odo, if you can find the right place to do *that* to Kira ... stop, stop, stop."
Odo released his ears. "Stop?" he asked, reforming his hands into something more recognizably humanoid.
"Yeah," Quark gasped, nodding. "I don't think ... well." He took a deep breath, let it out. He was still as hard as a rock. "If there's one thing a woman appreciates, it's a man who knows how to use his tongue. Lemme show you. Give me an erection, will you?"
Odo examined Quark's penis in a moment that felt really surreal. Soon afterwards he had a respectable erection of his own. "Like that?"
"Yeah." Quark knelt in front of him, gripped him by the hips, and said, "Now, I'm not an expert at this, but I've had it done to me often enough ..." And he started giving Odo a blow job, figuring that although Kira didn't have a penis, he did, and he wanted to see that it was as well taken care of as his ears ... and Quark was sure Kira would appreciate a lover who understood what oral sex was, in any event.
Eventually Quark released Odo's penis and got up, wiping his mouth. "You see?"
"You want me to do that to you?" Odo said.
"It's not exactly the same for a woman of course," Quark admitted, since that was painfully obvious. "But the principle's aren't that different. I mean, in a lot of ways a clitoris is just a really small penis."
Odo hesitated. Then he said, "All right." He imitated Quark's previous stance - on his knees, his hands on Quark's hips for balance, which Quark suspected that Odo didn't expect he'd need.
Fellatio from a shapeshifter was all that he could possibly have imagined and more; Odo's mouth could do just about anything, he didn't need to breathe, and he could, to an extent, regulate his own body temperature at will. The strangest sensation was that of moisture, because despite feeling that Odo's tongue sliding up and down his shaft was damp, he could also tell that there wasn't any getting left *behind*. Given spoken directions - or rather, moaned directions - Odo was an incredible erotic adventure. If he could find a holosuite programmer to duplicate this, he'd make more latinum than whoever had first sold Vulcan Love Slave.
When Quark couldn't hold it in any longer, hot semen spurted into Odo's mouth. Odo wrenched back, startled, and spat it out, all over the floor.
"Sorry," Quark panted. "Should've given you some - warning ..."
Odo looked down at the floor. "Uh ..."
"Don't worry about it," Quark said, letting himself slide onto the bed on his stomach, on top of his comforter. "I'll get it later. For now I've got something else I want you to do."
Odo looked worried. "What?"
"I want you to do me, Odo." Quark grinned over his shoulder at the changeling's confusion. "Sex."
Odo looked confused. "What did we just do?"
"I think the technical term is fellatio," Quark said after a moment. It wasn't something that he ordinarily had to call up from memory. "It's oral sex. There's more."
"More," Odo repeated.
"Penetration," Quark explained. Part of him felt extremely ridiculous. The rest was just surreal. He pushed himself up to his hands and knees. "Here, I don't have a vagina like Kira, but this'll do for an approximation," he coaxed. "Just take your penis - uh. I guess I won't need lube, if you can be really slick?"
"You want me to ..." Odo looked down at his erection, and then pointed at Quark's buttocks. "There?"
"Yeah," Quark said, nodding.
"Humanoids do this?" Odo asked.
"Of course," Quark said, puzzled by Odo's confusion. "All the time. It's ... you know. Intimacy. Sharing. Sex. Of course, you probably won't do exactly the same with Major Kira - unless she wants you to -" Far be it from Quark to speculate on whether or not Kira liked to take it in the ass. Actually, he might speculate on it, but Odo was the last he'd tell. "But the idea - of entering, of penetrating, of getting *inside* your partner, that's the same."
Odo was silent as he considered this. "This is as close as solids can come to the Link," he said.
Quark had no idea. "Uh ... probably," he said.
Odo nodded. Then he slid one hand over Quark's buttocks and then into the crack between them.
Quark twitched at the contact. He hadn't been expecting Odo to do it. For most of this Quark had had to initiate everything; Odo taking the initiative confused him slightly.
"Slick," he said, tensing and relaxing his buttocks as the changeling felt around in there. "Remember to be slick." It was an unusual feeling, as though Odo were testing to find where the best place to put his cock would be.
Quark was no virgin or anything - most Ferengi businessmen weren't; there was always that one boss that you had while you were a reasonably young male who felt the need to broke you in, especially when you, like Quark, had perfected that "innocent cherub" look for their benefit ... and Quark lived his life by the Rules of Acquisition, even at a young age, so he'd done what was expected of him. And over the years, commerce had led him to the realization that when you were willing to have sex with aliens and were attracted to the idea of doing so, having sex with *males* was *easy* ... and the willingness to do so could only help his popularity and never hindered it.
Quark opened his mouth to say something else, but completely forgot what it had been going to be when Odo's penis - hard and hot and, yes, slick - thrust into him. He gasped at the suddenness of it. Odo didn't seem to know what to do next; Quark arched onto him, trying to encourage him to pump. "You - have - to - move," Quark said, as he writhed, impaled, on Odo's shaft.
Then, an unsettling sensation: Odo's penis was moving without the rest of him, exploring like it had a mind of its own. Quark squeaked as the changeling found his prostate, and Odo apparently took this for encouragement, because he focused his attentions on it and started massaging it with his penis, similarly to the oo-mox he had performed earlier. It was weird, because no one had ever managed to oo-mox any part of Quark that was not his ears before, but also the strongest sensation of sexual pleasure that he could remember feeling offhand. For a second Quark thought that he was going to die of carnal gratification, and wouldn't that be fun story to tell the Blessed Exchequer when he arrived ... and then he exploded all over his comforter, helpless against Odo's onslaught, and then utterly drained - and certainly not thinking clearly - he flopped forward onto the bed, into his own mess.
"Oh my," he said, his voice muffled by his pillow. There weren't enough words, in any language, to describe what had just happened.
Odo slid out of him. The relatively cool air of his quarters felt strange and fresh against his skin. He let out a hissing breath. "Uh ... I *don't* think there's much more I can teach you, Odo. That was ..." He stopped. "I'd better take a shower."
"And ... that ... could use cleaning, too," Odo said gruffly. He had reformed his uniform.
"Yeah," Quark said. It felt like too much effort to move. But laying sprawled in a puddle of his own semen didn't seem like a particularly grand way of spending the rest of the night, either. "Uhh ... let me know how it turns out."
"I ... will," Odo said. He was already at the door, looking extremely thoughtful. "Er ... Quark?"
Quark grinned. "Don't thank *me*, Odo. You did it all yourself. I'm just the ..." He waved his hand vaguely. "Practice dummy. Go out there and win your true love."
Odo left.
Quark eventually got himself to get out of bed. He bundled up his comforter and took it to the replicator in his wall. It wasn't like it wasn't replaceable. Then he trundled into the bathroom and started the sonic shower. Before he got in, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror.
"Give you three to one odds he chickens out before he even gets to her door," he said to it.
Finis