Dumping Toxic Friends (signal boost)

[lolmac]

One of my favourite blog sites is Paging Dr. Nerdlove, which would make better required reading for every adult and would-be adult on the planet than most of the world's printed works.  Seriously, if you want to date, or have a relationship, or just improve your general relationship with yourself, there's good stuff there

Comments

[a_phoenixdragon]

I went and read that awesome piece and...how the hell can one surround themselves with dickheads and not even know it?! Except hubby and I have. We get rid of them occasionally, but we keep allowing them back in. Hell, as far as they're concerned, WE might be the toxic friends. But the shit they've pulled on us over the years...

And we wave it off and let it pass, even as our lives IMPROVE when they are not there. That is...scary. Tis also terrible when I have more REAL friends on the Net than I do locally. Fffff...

Excellent rec, sweetie. And thank you a thousand times!!

*HUGS*

[lolmac]

*HUGS BACK*

You weren't the only friend of mine I thought would find it valuable, but you were at the top of the list. I'm grateful that I'm no longer on that list, having been on and off it many times over the years!

Speaking as someone who met her spouse online, I don't think it's terrible at all. The net opens up a much, much larger pool of possibilities, and makes it easy (not to mention cheap) to find places where like-minded people will hang out. You don't have to drive into town and buy a drink, or slog around in rotten weather, or put up with local insularities (excepot for the online version of such).

One of the many things I love about Dr. Nerdlove's columns is that he gets into a lot of the gritty details -- how to walk the walk, especially when it's walking away.

[a_phoenixdragon]

Ahh, bless you, lovely one

[campylobacter]

Sure do wish there were a good method to apply to toxic bosses/co-workers...

[lolmac]

Well, you're paid to put up with the toxic bosses and co-workers -- never enough, but still, munny. Toxic friends, you aren't even getting paid, and you're inflicting them on yourself, oi!

[idlewild_]

There's a management book called "The No Asshole Rule." I bought it on Amazon and read the first chapter, which was quite good. The next day, the biggest asshole in the office was fired. I never read the rest of the book, but obviously it works.

(Seriously, the first chapter was some good common sense, the biggest issue I had with it was figuring out how to use it to influence the management people who had the power to make it work.)

[lothithil]

What a great blog. This guy belongs in my daily routine.

(((Beth)))

[perkyandproud]

Toxic friends...I don't believe I have any currently :) But it is something to keep an eye out for!

...and to keep an eye on yourself so that you don't become one to another person. Yes, I worry about that sometimes.

*hugs you*

[idlewild_]

Oof... my biggest problem with trying to associate less with people who aren't good for me is that social more about excluding people being a bad thing. I am pleased that my general inability to recognize anyone I haven't spent much time with means that I cheerfully give the cut direct to the biggest toxic offenders in my community. It's actually just because I can't remember that I ever met them.