i edited grammar on wikipedia the other day. i think it made me less of a person.

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sometimes when i put my doorstop on the wrong side of the door and get mad when it doesn't prop open, i wonder how i've made it this far.

conversation should be prohibited in bathrooms. it's like making small talk at a gynecologist's office, for crying out loud. where can these conversations possibly go? 'so does it burn when you pee, too?' 'hey, we have bowel movements at the same time?' 'oooh, i have that std too...it's a doozy, isn't it?' i think i'm more uncomfortable then than i ( Read more... )

friendship test time! if you laugh at this excerpt from my psych book, consider yourself a friend in my (relatively small) book (click to get the full effect):


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i have this problem of being starstruck when i see my professors walking around campus. i guess i've held the same notion of teachers sleeping at school since i was three. like today my human sexuality prof held the door open to me after the optional serial killer movie he showed after class and i managed a ridiculously meek 'thank you' that was 3 ( Read more... )

i would just like to congratulate 2006 for birthing the worst month since 1985. if i could abort this month baby stizz, i would. there is absolutely no one i know who can safely say they enjoyed this january. so please tell me if you took rose petal baths or shagged a brit or ate a really good filet mignon so this baby can LIVE.

i saw it, guys. the most emo shirt known to man. it said "i'm only wearing black until they make something darker."

now my main concern was whether or not this fellow used cheer or tide over generic brands to maintain the blackness of his shirt. then i had an urge to inform him that having seen the universe and color wheels and stuff, i knew that ( Read more... )

the coolness factor of a college can be determined by the average distance between someone's shoe and their pants. here, for example, the average is about 2 inches. your college: 0.

oh, and since those incidents of a guy creeping around our campus to watch girls sleep, they've beefed up security. see: below.


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whoever decided to make textbook pages glossy should be forced to wear glare-inducing glasses whenever he tries to read to see how he likes it.