Comments | benchilada: Jimmy the Spook, Ghost in a Bottle, PART TWO

benchilada

Jimmy the Spook, Ghost in a Bottle, PART TWO

Mar 24, 2005 05:51

You can find part one of "Jimmy the Spook, Ghost in a Bottle," RIGHT HERE.

And now, unproofread, ( Your Feature Presentation: )

part two, ghost in a bottle, first draft, fiction, jimmy the spook, last shot

Comments 8

pensylvania_joe March 24 2005, 14:39:39 UTC

I like it. it's so filled with bitter sorrow that it taints all the humor. In a good way. Like the way you tell jokes to your friend as he dies of cancer.
This is really painful for the narrator, and it shows.

I like.

farawaypoints March 24 2005, 14:58:08 UTC

THEN what happens? Come onnnnn!

benchilada March 24 2005, 15:02:19 UTC

I'm a teeeeeease.

Well, that and I haven't quite finished the next part yet.

duosiceprincess March 24 2005, 21:30:24 UTC

I like it, muchly. I also like that the fear of becoming a zombie is present in this guy, cause man, that would blow. being stuck inside someone else's corpse with no control. Or worse, being consciously stuck in there with no control. I like that the horror of what they are doing in conveyed in a "this is all commonplace" tone without losing any of the yucky scariness.

tim_x March 25 2005, 02:22:57 UTC

Great stuff man but TOO SHORT! Give us more! We clamor, we plead!

Reminds me of Lumley's Necroscope. It has that same sunny morbidity.

benchilada March 25 2005, 02:28:50 UTC

Not familiar with Lumley's Necroscope...tell me more. Not that I'll read it right now, since I don't like reading similar things while I'm writing stuff.

But, yeah, there's either more of this or more of Serge, Mike, and the Moon Turk on the horizon.

You can find them over here: http://www.livejournal.com/users/benchilada/50530.html

nhyrvana March 27 2005, 07:36:29 UTC

I've just read both Jimmy the Spook and Serge back to back.

While I like the world and the overall idea that Serge is bringing, I think Jimmy the Spook is a better written, more solid story. If I had Nethermind Magazine up and running, I would want to print, run, publish Jimmy the Spook.

-e