(no subject)
Well, kids it looks like I Do These Things So SON OF A BITCH I'M A GODDAMNED FUCKING IDIOT! FUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
I fucking fucked that fucking fuck fuck thing up.
You see, blissitate sent me a package. It contained magic items.
So, I did what I do; I took a few shots, then I did my second ever Video Version of SYDHT, and you know what I did then?
I took the .mov file and banged onit with my stupid caveman hands until it got corrupted and broke.
So now I've got a few pictures, some pithy comments, and no shots of the eating or the aftermath.
My rage is palpable. Seriously. You should have seen this fucking video. I'll make it up by eating one of the other three items soon. Or something fairyarmadillo gave me a while back. Or...well, that's a meal for another time.
Here's some photos or something.
Okay, that is NOT a real color. It DOES NOT appear in nature, and it sure as fuck shouldn't appear in something labeled as being a "cake" made of "towfu."
"The raw and fried beancurd..."
Liars. I call shennanigans.
These things appear to be neither raw NOR fried, but rather some sort of No-Man's Land in the middle.
But, hey, at least the ingredients include "less within safety range according to the regulations."
Oooh, things are looking up. Half of the calories are from fat! That's usually delicious!
And this...umm...that's not English, so...
So that's it, cause the video's gone.
Allow me to sum up.
blissitate, I WILL SEE YOU DEAD FOR THIS!
THIS FELT LIKE A SLIMY FRUIT ROLL-UP AND STUNK OF INDUSTRIAL RUNOFF!
I DRANK FROM THE JOHNNIE WALKER BOTTLE FOR FOUR SECONDS STRAIGHT TO KILL THE TASTE! AND IT DIDN'T WORK!
Let's say that somebody has put a G.I. Joe figure in your mouth.
Pretend that it's been set on fire.
Oh, and now somebody's pissing acid on it.
And yet you're still sitting there, taking it,
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE TO HAVE TO !
Well, I did do one touch of research when I was done, and it explains a lot.
HACCP says the seal in big letters on the front and back. Right next to that is says GMP. Then it says 2002.
Son of a bitch, girl, you made me eat five year-old bright-red lead paint, didn't you?
I guess I should have carefully read the little words on the desiccant package before I did this one:
I fucking fucked that fucking fuck fuck thing up.
You see, blissitate sent me a package. It contained magic items.
So, I did what I do; I took a few shots, then I did my second ever Video Version of SYDHT, and you know what I did then?
I took the .mov file and banged onit with my stupid caveman hands until it got corrupted and broke.
So now I've got a few pictures, some pithy comments, and no shots of the eating or the aftermath.
My rage is palpable. Seriously. You should have seen this fucking video. I'll make it up by eating one of the other three items soon. Or something fairyarmadillo gave me a while back. Or...well, that's a meal for another time.
Here's some photos or something.
Okay, that is NOT a real color. It DOES NOT appear in nature, and it sure as fuck shouldn't appear in something labeled as being a "cake" made of "towfu."
"The raw and fried beancurd..."
Liars. I call shennanigans.
These things appear to be neither raw NOR fried, but rather some sort of No-Man's Land in the middle.
But, hey, at least the ingredients include "less within safety range according to the regulations."
Oooh, things are looking up. Half of the calories are from fat! That's usually delicious!
And this...umm...that's not English, so...
So that's it, cause the video's gone.
Allow me to sum up.
blissitate, I WILL SEE YOU DEAD FOR THIS!
THIS FELT LIKE A SLIMY FRUIT ROLL-UP AND STUNK OF INDUSTRIAL RUNOFF!
I DRANK FROM THE JOHNNIE WALKER BOTTLE FOR FOUR SECONDS STRAIGHT TO KILL THE TASTE! AND IT DIDN'T WORK!
Let's say that somebody has put a G.I. Joe figure in your mouth.
Pretend that it's been set on fire.
Oh, and now somebody's pissing acid on it.
And yet you're still sitting there, taking it,
BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE TO HAVE TO !
Well, I did do one touch of research when I was done, and it explains a lot.
HACCP says the seal in big letters on the front and back. Right next to that is says GMP. Then it says 2002.
Son of a bitch, girl, you made me eat five year-old bright-red lead paint, didn't you?
I guess I should have carefully read the little words on the desiccant package before I did this one: