(Untitled)

[benchilada]

I can never seem to properly express what this time was like.

I either get the seriousness of it across, which brings everybody down and prompts unwanted pity, or I tell it vaguely jokingly, and fail to quantify the abject horribleness of it all.

You see what you think.

Comments

[sirive]

This is really interesting stuff in that it's something I know absolutely nothing about. All I think about is pink bunnies but not unicorns.

[benchilada]

See, the unicorns make it all worthwhile.

So does writing these comix, actually...

[rinifer]

I've got two immediate family members with bipolar disorder, so your tale sounds kinda familiar. Sounds like it roundhouse kicked you in the nuts mid-college; that's the worst. There's something about having forces beyond your control make a permanent dent in your record that's exceedingly unfair.

I'm glad that things are going well now...

[benchilada]

Yeah, it actually meant that I didn't get into the College of Education, which ultimately turned out the best for me, I guess, as these days I simply cannot imagine being a teacher.

I really wanted to be one, and I think I would have done quite well as one, but now I'm happy with where I am. I doubt that the opportunities that have come my way would have done so if I'd gone down that road...

[iamangelachase]

Consider that not all teachers belong in a classroom.

You're learnin' us some interesting and important stuff, Mr. Stone, and certainly not anything you'd find in high school or even college. These comics are invaluable.

Thanks.

[nykki]

So, with the meds, you're all better? And Joe's all better. And Terri's all better.

You guys make it hard to continue on my anti-med rampage.

[benchilada]

It took then doctor three months to convince me.
He was cool, though, and let me decide to finally use them at my own pace.
No pressure at all from him, which was so comforting.

The thing I keep in mind every time I start a new pill? Tell an number of your good friends that you see frequently to monitor your behavior and personality. YOU can tell the physical/mental side effects, but it takes outsiders to truly tell whether they're doing something odd to "who you are."

[dana_pants]

I think ultimately that's the key to success in therapy. A good psychologist or psychiatrist won't push things like medication - you have to let it come with time.

Especially with OCD - ugh. I KNOW pills help, I've taken them in the past, but man, I still can't convince myself that pills are GOOD. Sheesh.

[vash1228]

I've been told that bi-polar can actually be a degenerative condition if not treated with medication.

[livenud]

This was a great Fuckbrain Comic. Well done. I have holes in my memory too, and it is hard to describe the experience to people with a Normalbrain(tm).

[benchilada]

Thanks. This one took a really long time to do, as I wanted to get as much as I could into one page. Needed to keep a bit of humor, but also needed to express how utterly fucking scary it is to have that bit of your time on Earth...gone.

I'm sorry you've gone through similar times. Does your boy do what Sara does, and say that he wishes he could have been here for you when it was happening (I met her a few months after I started getting better)?

[livenud]

No, the Kevster was there for all of it - my fibro peaked just after our wedding. So his contribution is to tell me stories from the early years of our marriage, much of which I don't remember at all. Last week he told a story (news to me!) about how I went on a local radio show and (figuratively) handed the asshat DJ his balls on a platter. I can vaguely remember driving to the interview, but only if I work really hard. The rest is gone. So the good news is, all of his stories about me are fresh and exciting to me. :) Also, I don't remember the really bad depression/panic moments, when K would come home to find me huddled under a blanket on the floor. This means that it never really happened!! Yay!!
There's an Ani DiFranco lyric that is pretty descriptive of me:
"They say goldfish have no memory, I guess their lives are much like mine
And the little plastic castle is a surprise every time"

I'm sure we're better people for what we've gone through... after all, if I was so amazing before, why don't I remember that? ;)

[benchilada]

"They say goldfish have no memory, I guess their lives are much like mine
And the little plastic castle is a surprise every time"

I knew I couldn't be the only one who thought that.

And Sara still has stories that I don't remember happening, places we've eaten, et cetera.

It's sometimes kinda scary, but even scarier, perhaps, is how you get used to it.

[mwissa]

There is no possible way for me to understand, having a "normal brain", but the picture of you with the soap and bucket cleaning the F is too adorable.

And, I am sure that I can speak for everyone when I say...

So, so glad you are doing much better.

Genius comes with a price.

[benchilada]

the picture of you with the soap and bucket cleaning the F is too adorable.

Thanks. It's fun to experiment with comic narrative structure when you can't draw, but have still read Will Eisner's graphic storytelling books as Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics.

Genius. What a silly word...