Something Borrowed, Something Blue (J2, NC-17) 3/5

[belyste]

When Jared wakes up, he’s alone in bed. He blinks at the empty space next to him for a minute, trying to figure out if he should know where Jensen is, but then the door clicks open and the mystery’s solved. Jensen’s dressed, hair still wet from a shower, and carrying two cups of coffee.

“Hey,” he says when he sees Jared’s awake. “I went down to check out the continental breakfast. Thought you might want this.” He holds out the coffee a little warily, like he’s not sure if Jared’s going to take it or slap it out of his hand in some kind of diva fit.

“Thanks, man,” Jared says, putting an extra ounce of warmth in his smile to let Jensen know he’s done being a pissy bitch. “They have any good food down there?”

“There’s bagels and muffins and stuff,” Jensen says, his own smile relieved. “And I think you can make waffles, too.”

Jared perks up at that. “Waffles?”

Jensen grins. “Yeah. You want to go down?”

“Just let me get some clothes on.”

And, simple as that, they’re back to comfortable. Because, all right. Jared has something of a mammoth crush on Jensen. But so what? In the light of morning, after a full night’s sleep, it seems much less dire. It sucks that the first guy he’s found in years that he’s actually interested in beyond a one night stand is seriously off-limits, but life tends to be like that sometimes. The part where he jerked off thinking of Jensen while Jensen was only a few feet away is still a little skeevy, since they’re kind of friends now, but whatever. Jensen never has to know, just like he never has to know that Jared has periodic urges to jump him. It’s only a few more days, anyway, and then they’ll go back to their separate lives.

Jensen makes Jared a perfectly browned Belgian waffle, flipping the waffle iron over with a skilled flick of his wrist, then makes a face when Jared smothers it with syrup and half a dozen little plastic cups of jam. He smiles, though, when Jared proclaims it the best waffle he’s ever had.

“So,” Jensen says, leafing through a newspaper someone left behind. “There’s nothing going on until the barbecue today, right?”

“Yep,” Jared says, swallowing a mouthful of waffle. “So we’re free until four-thirty. Well, not counting the time it will take to get to my parents’.”

Jensen nods. “Is there anything you want to do?”

Jared clears his throat a little awkwardly. “Well, I thought - I don’t know if you’ve ever been to San Antonio before, but if you wanted we could go see some stuff - go to the Riverwalk or whatever.” He ducks his head. “I mean, that’s assuming that you want to spend your free time with me. If you want to be alone for a while, I totally understand.”

“I’ve been here, but I’ve only seen the Alamo,” Jensen says, folding up the paper and totally ignoring Jared’s attack of insecurity. “Which, while educational, was pretty depressing. More positive sightseeing sounds good.”

*     *     *

They end up going to the Riverwalk, since neither of them feels very ambitious. They wander for a while, checking out the various restaurants and shops, and Jared makes fun of Jensen for buying souvenir shot glass with “Remember the Alamo” slogan splashed across the side.

“I’ll remember those noble men every single time I get drunk,” Jensen says solemnly, tipping an imaginary hat toward the glass.

Jared frowns. “But what happens if you try to do a shot of Cuervo? I mean, wouldn’t that be kind of disloyal? The ghost of Davy Crockett might come after you.”

Jensen laughs. “I guess I’ll have to avoid tequila, so there’s no conflict of interest.”

It’s warm outside, in the late morning sunlight, so after wandering a little bit more and crossing a bridge to the opposite side of the river, they stop for lunch at a restaurant with colorful umbrellas over the outdoor tables.

They’ve been talking about San Antonio most of the morning, which means they’ve mostly been talking about Jared, and while that’s nothing new, Jared’s thinking that now, while they’re both relaxed and away from his family, might be a good time to take Jensen up on his offer and ask him something about himself.

So when Jensen asks what the rest of Jared’s family is doing for the day, he summarizes quickly (his mom’s getting ready for the barbecue, his dad’s picking his sister up from the airport, his brother and Rachel are at last-minute dancing lessons) and changes the subject.

“So, you grew up in Dallas, right?”

Jensen looks up from his menu. “Yeah.”

“When did you leave?”

“Uh, it was right after high school, so I guess I was eighteen.”

“Have you come back a lot?” Jared asks, playing with a straw wrapper.

Jensen shrugs. “A few times. Not much.”

“So you don’t see your family very much?”

Jensen looks a little miffed at all the questions, and Jared knows he’s being annoying, but he does really want to know. “No, not really.” When Jared doesn’t say anything, he laughs a little and sits back in his chair. “My family isn’t like yours, Jared. We kind of get along better when we don’t see each other too much.”

That’s a weird thing to say, and as the server deposits glasses of water on their table, he wonders if something went wrong. If they had a fight, or if they didn’t want Jensen to leave, or if they don’t agree with what he’s doing.

Jensen seems to know what he’s thinking, and shakes his head. “It’s nothing bad, Jared. I just wanted a different life than my parents have, and we argue a lot less when we’re only together every once in a while. I’m still close to my brother and sister, though, so I talk to them a lot.”

“Do they know about…what you do?” Jared asks.

“Do they know I work for an escort service?” Jensen asks, laughing a little. “No. My family thinks I wait tables and do temp office work, like every other struggling actor in L.A.”

“Oh,” Jared says. It seems a little sad to him that Jensen’s parents have no idea what he really does, but he can see how that would be awkward to bring up. Parents probably aren’t supposed to be supportive of their children sleeping with people for money. “Speaking of which - sorry, I know I’m asking you a million questions.”

Jensen smiles faintly. “No, it’s fine. Go ahead.”

Jared rubs the back of his neck. “Um. How, exactly, did you end up with this job?”

Jensen laughs. “It’s not exactly the type of career your guidance counselor recommends, right?”

“No, that’s not - I’m not trying to say it’s bad,” Jared rushes to reassure him. “I mean, I hired you. It would be kind of hypocritical of me to criticize your job when I’m funding it.”

“Relax, I know,” Jensen says. “You have to admit it’s a weird job, though.”

“Well…yeah,” Jared says. “I’m guessing you didn’t just answer a newspaper ad, or something.” He pauses. “Or…wait. That would actually kind of make sense.”

Jensen laughs. “No, I didn’t.” He takes a sip of water. “It’s really not that exciting. I did the struggling actor thing for a while - that part’s not a lie. It didn’t work out for me.” He shrugs. “But then a random guy at one of my auditions gave me a business card for the agency, and I was desperate enough to call them.”

He shrugs again. “And it turns out there’s a lot of people in Hollywood that need escorts. I kept getting typecast as the pretty boy anyway, so why not make better money for it?”

Jared can see, superficially, how Jensen could get pigeonholed as the pretty boy, but it sucks that nobody ever saw beyond that. Jensen’s smart and funny and genuinely compassionate, and he’s already got Jared’s whole family eating out of his hand. He’d probably be an awesome actor. “So you don’t miss acting?”

“A little, I guess,” Jensen says. But I get to do some for this job.” He grins. “Just not a lot of really complex characters.”

Jared has a feeling there’s more to the matter than that, but if Jensen doesn’t want to go into it, it’s his business. “So trophy boyfriend isn’t really working your range?”

“Well, there are a lot of ways to play the character,” Jensen says, mock-serious. “There’s the Bad Boy With a Heart of Gold, or the Sensitive and Sensual Depp-esque Smooth Guy. There’s always the Slightly-Emo-with-a-Tragic-Past-and-Soulful-Eyes, or the good old-fashioned Strong, Silent John Wayne type. And you always need a good backstory, of course - you can’t just jump into it without some really good daddy issues.”

Jared laughs. “I bet.” He looks down at the table, rubbing a bead of water in circles on the smooth wood. “So. Which one are you playing with me?”

Jensen laughs a little. “Uh. I’m not actually sure. You’re actually the first male client I’ve had, so this one’s kind of new. I don’t have a name for it yet.”

Jared nods, keeping his eyes on the drops of water sliding down his water glass. “And the, uh…the part where you - “

“Have sex with people for money?”

“Yeah. That.”

Jensen’s quiet for a moment, and Jared’s worried he might have pissed him off, but when he sneaks a glance, Jensen looks more thoughtful than offended.

“I don’t do anything I don’t want to,” Jensen says finally. “I know it probably sounds pretty sordid, but the agency does a thorough background check on every client, and I can terminate my contract at any time, no questions asked.” He tilts his head. “And it’s not always just about sex. Sometimes it’s just about not being alone, or knowing that someone wants you, you know?” He shrugs. “Sometimes it’s actually kind of nice.”

Jared’s not really sure what to say to that.

Jensen grins. “And getting paid to get off - doesn’t get much better than that, right?”

Jared doesn’t really know what to say to that either, but thankfully the server shows up again with their food, and they’re both too busy digging in to keep the conversation going.

Jared tries to figure out how he feels about the whole thing as he makes his way through his enchiladas. It’s not like he can judge Jensen, not really. Jared’s got a solid two years of one night stands and random club encounters behind him, and there’s been more than one time he’s thrown away someone’s number, even if he liked them, because he’s still not sure what he wants. At least Jensen’s clients know exactly where they stand with him.

In the end, though, it doesn’t really matter what Jared thinks. He’s not going to sleep with Jensen (even if he kind of really wants to), so the fact that Jensen fucks people for money is totally irrelevant. It’s just a business relationship, anyway.

But that makes Jared wonder about something else. “What happens if you want to date?” he asks, crunching on his pickle slice.

Jensen looks up from his fajitas. “Uh. Well, the job makes it kind of hard.” He clears his throat, wiping his hands on his napkin. “I work weird hours and sometimes I’m out of town. And then there’s the whole thing where I get paid to be seen with other people, which makes it really hard to meet people. And then there’s the sex for money part, which, you know, doesn’t always go down too well.”

“So, you just…don’t?”

“I do, sometimes,” Jensen says. “Just, not often.” He shrugs. “It’s not really a big deal. I get plenty of company and affection from the people I’m working for, so it’s not like I’m lonely.”

“Really?” Jared asks before he can stop himself. He can feel a flush spread across his cheeks when Jensen raises an eyebrow. “Sorry, I just thought - nobody likes to be at work, right? That’s why you get paid to do it. So I thought you’d want to spend as much time as possible with someone who’s not paying you.”

Jensen blinks. “Well, there’ve been a couple of people I didn’t really enjoy working with, but for the most part, the people who hire me are pretty cool. I like hanging out with them.”

“Oh.”

Jensen tilts his head. “You seem to be under the impression that only creepy people hire escorts. Or losers who can’t get a date of their own.”

“Not creepy, just…” Jared shrugs, a little embarrassed. “Well, yeah. I mean, if the shoe fits…”

“Jared, no one I’ve ever worked for has been a loser,” Jensen says firmly. “And neither are you.”

Jared can’t help a little snort of disbelief at that. He did hire Jensen to be his escort so he could give a big “So there!” to some guy he messed around with in high school, after all.

“I’m serious,” Jensen says. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but the people who hire me aren’t weird, or antisocial, or ugly. They have money, friends, good jobs, big houses - everything you could want.” Jensen pushes his food aside, leaning his elbows on the table. “But do you know the one thing that every single one of them doesn’t have?”

Jared raises his eyebrows. “A boyfriend?”

“Well, okay,” Jensen says with a wave of his hand. “But the real answer is confidence.”

“Confidence? That’s all they’re missing?”

Jensen nods. “Every single of one of them could be in a relationship, but they’re not confident enough to go after what they want.”

Jared doesn’t really believe that, but he can’t pretend it doesn’t hit home.

“Look at you,” Jensen goes on, driving the point home further. “You’re on TV. You have a great family. I assume you’ve got good friends, back in L.A. You’ve got the whole tall, dark, and seriously hot thing going on. And you’re brave enough to bring a complete stranger home and come out to basically your whole family.” Jensen spreads his hands. “But then your ex-boyfriend says stupid crap or messes with you, and you let him.”

Jared’s brain gets stuck on the part where Jensen thinks he’s hot (and what exactly does that mean, seriously hot? It has to be good, but how good? Does Jensen say that to everyone who pays him $6,000?) but then he catches up. “Wait. That’s not - I don’t - “

“Jared, that’s why I’m here,” Jensen says patiently. “If you were actually over Chad, you would have been okay coming alone.”

That’s totally ridiculous, because Jared is totally over Chad. And he could have come alone, but he needed Chad to know that he’s over him. He needed someone to make Chad realize just how stupid he was to be such a jerk and mess everything up and fuck with everything Jared thought about his sexuality, and to prove to Chad that Jared’s a million miles away from the hormonal teenager who thought he was in love. He just wanted to show Chad he’s matured and moved on and that all that confusion and hurt and self-doubt is in the past.

Except for the part where it isn’t. Because if he was, Jared realizes, he probably wouldn’t need Chad to acknowledge that he made a mistake or that things ending so badly between them are at least partly his fault. If he was really totally over Chad, he probably wouldn’t need Chad to validate that.

Jensen’s quiet as Jared has his little epiphany, just watching.

“It’s not that easy,” Jared says finally. He can’t just snap his fingers and be more confident, just like he can’t snap his fingers and be done with the Chad thing, no matter how much he’d like to.

“I know,” Jensen says softly. “But if you want to get over Chad, once and for all, you can.”

Jared just nods, seeing the server heading their way with the check. They should probably be getting back to the hotel, anyway, so they have plenty of time to shower and change before the barbecue.

Jensen doesn’t say anything as they pay and leave, but he squeezes Jared’s arm as they walk back to the car. It’s just a brief touch, there and gone, but it drags a smile out of Jared and lifts his spirits a little.

*     *     *

“Okay, here are the choices: blue, green, black, uh…what is this, white? Cream? Something whitish or creamish, with tiny green stripes. Or I could go back to the polo shirts. Or maybe I should wear khakis?”

“Jared,” Jensen says wearily, “We settled on the dark jeans already. And I took the polo shirts off the table five outfits ago, remember?”

“Oh, yeah,” Jared says, fidgeting in front of the mirror.

“And I’m wearing green, so that’s out.”

“Really? Because you’re wearing really light green, and my shirt is a darker green. So we wouldn’t look like we were wearing matching shirts, or anything. We’d just look like we were staying in the same color family. Same color, different shades.” Jared pauses. “Or is that just as bad?”

Jensen takes a deep breath and lets it out, like he’s counting to ten to avoid strangling Jared. He probably is. It’s been almost half an hour, and Jared still can’t decide which shirt is right.

“Okay,” Jensen says. “Let’s just leave the whole issue of shades aside and do this.” He picks up the blue shirt. “This is what you wore the first time we met, right?”

Jared looks at it for a minute. “Oh. Yeah. But that was just because I closed my eyes and pointed at every shirt in my closet. I didn’t really choose it.”

“That’s okay,” Jensen says, rubbing his forehead. “The point is, it looked good on you then. It’ll look good on you now. And it will end this torture.”

“Sorry,” Jared says, tossing the other shirts aside and buttoning up the blue one. “It’s just that there’s going to be a whole bunch of family there, and I don’t know who all my mom’s told about me bringing a guy. I just want to look…” He sighs. “I don’t even know. Good? Normal? Mature?” He pauses. “Is that even possible?”

“Well, it is just fabric,” Jensen says, stepping up and straightening his collar. “It can’t perform miracles.” He gives both sides a little tug. “But you definitely look good. Okay?”

His face is only inches away from Jared’s, turned up and expectant, and for a second it takes all of Jared’s willpower not to lean down and kiss Jensen. He looks perfect, as always, and his shirt, whatever shade it is, makes his eyes look impossibly green against his dark lashes. But then Jensen prompts, “Jared?” and Jared snaps out of it. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Thank God,” Jensen says, and they finally head down to the car.

The barbecue, when they arrive, is in full swing. Relatives are milling all over, carrying paper plates loaded with food, and clumps of people fill the folding tables they set out in the backyard the other night. Jared’s mom is directing a line of female relatives bringing out more food, and he can see his dad manning the grill, waving his spatula as he talks to someone. Chad’s there, with his arm around his girlfriend - despite the fact that she’s a bridesmaid, Jared still hasn’t bothered to learn her name - the rest of the wedding party is scattered around the yard.

Jared and Jensen stop to say hi to a few people, but Jared’s mostly on a collision course with the food, because there’s nothing in the world better than his mom’s pulled pork, and he wants to fill up at least three sandwich buns with it before he even looks at the other food. He drifts away from Jensen as he piles as much food as possible onto the flimsy plate, but he catches Jensen’s eye and nods toward a picnic table, where he settles down with his food. Jensen drops off his plate a minute later and says something about getting them drinks, but Jared sees him get waylaid by two of the bridesmaids on the way.

Jared thinks about getting up himself, but then their food would be left unguarded with a yard full of dogs and kids and hungry people, and that isn’t a risk Jared’s willing to take. But before he can dig in, someone throws their arms around his neck and yells, “Jaaaared!”

It’s his sister, and he jumps up to give her a real hug, her sandals skimming the grass as he lifts her up. She laughs and aims a half-hearted kick at his shin before he lets her down.

They catch up quickly - school, work, flights, love lives. Megan says her own love life’s pretty pathetic, but she thinks she might have earned some action by osmosis, thanks to the couple in the seats next to her on the flight, who groped each other the whole way.

“And then they joined the Mile High club. Twice,” Megan says, making a face. “Actually, I’m pretty sure they were card-carrying platinum members before they even got on the plane.” She takes in the picnic table and its two plates, then looks up Jared. “Speaking of which, where’s your girlfriend?”

Before Jared can answer, she gasps. “Oh my God. Who’s that guy at the drinks table?”

Jared follows her gaze. “The one trying to stick an olive up his nose? Cousin Freddy?”

She smacks his arm. “No, you jerk. The extremely hot guy standing next to him.”

“Oh, him,” Jared says, smothering a smirk. “That’s Jensen.”

Megan’s eyes go wide. “You know him?”

Jared watches Jensen smile at his aunt as she pours him drinks from a pitcher. “We’ve met.”

“Well, in case you didn’t notice, he’s gorgeous. Please tell me he’s here alone.”

Jared can’t resist teasing her a little more, so he says, “It looks like he’s grabbing two cups of punch, so I’d say you’re out of luck.”

“He could just be really thirsty,” Megan says hopefully.

Jared gives her a pitying look.

She makes a face. “Oh, all right. Here.” She shifts until she’s in front of Jared, her back to the table. “Watch him, and tell me who he brings the drinks to. I need to know who my new mortal enemy is.” She grins evilly. “And who I’m going to steal him away from.”

Jared raises his eyebrows. “Um, I don’t think you’ll - “

But he doesn’t even have time to finish his warning, because right then Jensen comes up beside him and hands him a cup before sliding an arm around his waist. He smiles at Megan, then raises an eyebrow at Jared when Megan fails to respond, too busy gaping.

Jared clears his throat. “Uh, Jensen, this is my sister, Megan. Megan, this is Jensen. My boyfriend.”

Jensen does his polite and charming thing, offering her his hand and the usual “Nice to meet you, heard so much about you,” and while Megan is charmed by his routine like every other female, she keeps shooting Jared exasperated looks like she can’t decide whether to hit him or congratulate him. The mix isn’t exactly pleasant, and Jensen coughs awkwardly into the tension before saying, “You know what, you need a drink. I’ll get another cup.”

As soon as he’s gone, Megan makes up her mind and smacks Jared. “You didn’t tell us you were bringing home a boyfriend.” She watches Jensen walk away, a little too closely for Jared’s liking. “Or that you were bringing someone that hot.”

Jared sighs. “I wasn’t sure how everyone would react, so I just - would you stop looking at his ass for a second and listen to me?”

“You can’t blame me,” Megan says, not looking away. “You get to see it whenever you want, so just shut up and let me enjoy my opportunity.”

Jared doesn’t, actually, so his reply is a little more bitchy than he intends. “Would you stop ogling him?”

Megan finally looks up at Jared, smirking. “Oh, relax. I’m just impressed that my dork brother managed to land someone so gorgeous.”

“Wow, thanks,” Jared says irritably. “And how’s your boyfriend, by the way? Still imaginary?”

Jensen comes back just in time to hear that remark, and he elbows Jared as he hands the glass to Megan, who takes it without a word and stalks off. “Well, it looks like that went well,” Jensen remarks.

Jared downs his punch in one long pull.

“Cheers,” Jensen says.

*     *     *

“That dude?”

“My uncle Ernie? Nah. He’s got six kids, he’s seen it all.”

“Okay, what about that lady? The one with the pearls.”

“That’s my great-aunt Margaret.” Jared tilts his head, considering. “Maybe. She’s pretty tough, though. She might just smack us and call us rowdy hooligans or something.”

“The woman standing next to her?”

“No, that’s my crazy grandma,” Jared says. “The one that flirts with men a quarter of her age and swears like a sailor. She’d probably want to watch.”

“Okay, creepy,” Jensen says. “Although that explains why she grabbed my ass when you introduced us.”

Jared frowns. “You thought there was some other explanation?”

“Well, she’s old,” Jensen says, shrugging. “I thought maybe she couldn’t see that well, and when she went to shake my hand she just…missed.”

“Dude, she’s not that old,” Jared says. “And she was definitely going for your ass. You should probably avoid her if you don’t want her to ask about…other body parts.”

“Noted,” Jensen says, smirking. “But I’ve totally got it this time. That guy, with the cardigan and newsboy hat.”

Jared sighs. “All right, fine. My grandpa would probably have a heart attack if we made out in front of him. Can we be done with this game now?”

“But it’s so entertaining,” Jensen protests. “You don’t want to suck a little face and see what happens?”

Jared doesn’t bother answering, just smacking Jensen’s arm.

“Come on, I’ll even let you feel me up.” Jensen wiggles his eyebrows. “Free of charge.”

“Wow, that’s so generous,” Jared says, rolling his eyes. “If you’re looking to make some money, go find my sister.”

It wasn’t what he meant to say, and he feels like doing a faceplant into his potato salad as soon as it slips out, but Jensen just looks interested.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“Jared.”

“She thinks you’re hot, okay? Like every other female in the history of…ever. She was already plotting how to steal you away.”

Jensen quirks an eyebrow. “And did you tell her that wasn’t happening?”

Jared shrugs. “I tried. I don’t know if she heard over the drooling, though.”

“Good,” Jensen says, slinging an arm around Jared’s shoulders. “Because I’m a one-man guy, sweetheart, and I’ve got my hands full with you.”

Jared pushes him away, but he only gives it a half-hearted attempt. If Jensen’s hand is only slightly dislodged and settles on his back, then he’ll just have to let it stay there. “Are you trying to say I’m high maintenance?”

“Of course, not, honey,” Jensen says. “You’re just a little…high-strung.”

“Oh, screw you,” Jared says, but he’s laughing.

“It’s fine,” Jensen says, waving a hand. “I know I’m freakishly attractive. It’s only natural to be worried I’m going to run off with the next pair of nice legs I find.”

“Legs? That’s what you’re into?”

“I’m with you, aren’t I?” Jensen points out. He doesn’t seem to notice Jared going bright red. “But don’t worry, darlin’. I’m all yours.” He grins. “And the making out is still on offer, if it helps.”

Jared rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but smile at that, even if he’s not going to take Jensen up on it.

Especially not in front of his sister, who picks that moment to drop her plate on their picnic table with a dramatic sigh. “I’m still not talking to Jared,” she announces, settling on the bench across from them, “But I couldn’t take any more of the female relatives asking when I’m going to settle down and have kids.” She points her fork threateningly at Jared. “And now that you finally brought someone home, they’re totally focused on me. Aunt Denise even whipped out a picture of one of her friend’s kids that she wants to set me up with.”

“Was he cute?” Jared asks.

“He had a mullet,” Megan says flatly. “An honest-to-god rattail mullet. And apparently his favorite hobbies are hunting and amateur taxidermy.”

Jared winces. Megan was always into stuffed animals, but not the kind that used to be living.

“Yeah,” Megan says, making a face. “But anyway, Jensen and I need to have a serious conversation.”

Jensen raises his eyebrows. “We do?”

Megan nods. “Let’s start with whether you have an equally adorable younger brother in the vicinity of my age, and if so, what his phone number is.”

Jensen shakes his head. “Sorry. I only have an older brother who’s married and a younger sister who’s practically engaged.”

“Damn,” Megan says. “Fine. Then my next question is, are you a hundred percent sure you’re dating the right Padalecki?”

“Megan,” Jared hisses, but Jensen just blinks, then smiles, looking amused.

“I’m serious,” she says, ignoring Jared. “Because Jared’s got the semi-famous-and-on-TV thing going for him, but I’m way cuter.”

“What? You are not,” Jared protests.

“I totally am,” Megan argues.

Jared looks to Jensen for some support, but Jensen just tilts his head and says, “Interesting point. Go on.”

“What?” Jared demands. “You just said that you’re all - “

“I lied,” Jensen cuts in. At Jared’s scandalized look, he shrugs. “I just want to hear her case.”

“Like I said, Jared’s got me beat on money and celebrity, but I’m getting a degree in athletic training,” Megan says. “So I give really good deep tissue massages.”

“You just changed your major last semester,” Jared points out. “You’ve had, like, two classes of it.”

Megan glares, and Jensen says, “Jared, don’t be mean.”

Jared gapes. “My sister is trying to steal you away from me! I think I’m allowed to be mean!”

“You’re allowed to be jealous,” Jensen corrects. “And if you don’t want her to win, then you should come up with an argument in your favor.”

“Like the fact that you’re dating me already?”

“Well, that’s one thing,” Jensen admits. “Anything else?”

Jared frowns. “I’m legal to drink, for one thing.”

“Three months,” Megan shoots back. “And I can cook.”

“I can cook, too,” Jared says, but Megan just rolls her eyes.

“Please. Throwing some meat on a grill is not cooking.”

“It totally is,” Jared argues. “The meat gets cooked, doesn’t it? That’s cooking.”

Megan ignores him. “And that’s another thing. Jared quit Boy Scouts in third grade, but I got all my badges in outdoor skills in Girl Scouts. So if we ever got lost in the wilderness, I could totally build us a fire and find us food and keep us alive.”

Jensen turns to Jared, eyebrows raised.

“I wouldn’t let you get lost in the wilderness in the first place!” Jared says.

“You can’t control everything,” Megan points out. “Jensen’s plane could crash, just like on Lost. And if he was with me, he’d survive.” She turns to Jensen. “I also know how to build a weatherproof shelter and find potable water.”

“And what about when the Others come, huh?” Jared asks. “You going to hold them off, midget?” He flexes a bicep for Jensen. “I’d protect you, baby.”

Jensen looks like he’s trying extremely hard not to laugh, but he strokes Jared’s arm appreciatively. “Aw, thanks, honey. You’re so strong and manly.”

“The Others have guns, moron,” Megan says, rolling her eyes. “You’re not bulletproof.”

“At least I have skills that actually apply to the real world, not a TV show,” Jared replies.

“Excuse me, what do you do for a living, again?” Megan pretends to think. “Oh yeah, you use your skills on a TV show.”

Jensen laughs at that. When Jared glares at him, he shrugs. “That was a good one.”

Megan beams. “See? I’m funnier, too. Come on, Jensen, you know you want to leave Jared and run away with me. I’ll give you massages and cook for you and treat you way better than this dork.”

Jensen slants a look at Jared. “Well? Can you top that?”

Jared decides this whole thing needs to end now, so he goes for his secret weapon. Literally.

He picks up one of Jensen’s hands, threading their fingers together, then leans in and says in a whisper, “You know what they say about guys with big hands and feet?” He waits for Jensen’s nod, then leans in a little closer, letting his nose brush against Jensen’s temple before saying, “Totally true.”

He pulls back, and watches in satisfaction as Jensen’s wide eyes dart from Jared’s face down to Jared’s hand, which is practically engulfing his, before he swallows and says, “Jesus.”

Jared smirks.

“Okay, yeah, you win,” Jensen says faintly.

“No fair!” Megan protests. “He said something dirty, right? I can be dirty.”

“No, you can’t,” Jared says firmly. “As long as you’re my younger sister, you’re as pure as the driven snow.”

She pouts for minute, then sighs. “Fine. You two are disgustingly cute together, anyway, so I guess it’s all right.”

Jensen smiles, squeezing Jared’s hand, and it’s one of those adorable smiles that crinkle up his eyes and make him look even more gorgeous than usual, and Jared really can’t be held responsible for the lovesick grin that spreads over his own face.

“Okay, that’s a little too cute,” Megan mutters, picking up her plate. “I’m going back to Aunt Denise and Mr. Mullet. See you two lovebirds later.”

*     *     *

Later, Jared’s working on his dessert plate (he can never decide on just one thing, so he usually gets a bit of everything - a few cookies, some bars, a couple of slices of pie and, of course, some ice cream), and Jensen’s making up ridiculous backstories for all the random relatives he doesn’t know. He finally winds up a rambling story about how Jared’s third cousin twice removed has a secret double life as a aerial ballerina with Cirque du Soleil (Jensen swears he can tell by her feet that she’s dangled from a silk ribbon professionally), then goes quiet for minute.

It’s kind of nice, actually. Jared’s relatives normally line up to ask him the same three questions - how the TV show’s going, what’s coming next, and if he’s met so-and-so famous person yet. It seems that bringing a man home is enough to distract them. And even the few people who do stop by the table to say more than hi are more interested in Jensen, anyway, so Jared’s sort of off the hook. It’s not a bad thing.

“So that’s Chad’s girlfriend, huh?” Jensen asks, pointing to where Chad’s got his arm around what’s-her-name.

“Yep.” Jared eats a snickerdoodle. “Why, can you tell by her posture that she’s a former bareback rider, or something?”

“She’s more the former child figure skating prodigy,” Jensen says thoughtfully. “But no. I got to know her a little at the dress fitting.” Jensen leans an elbow on the table and props his chin on his hand. “She seems pretty nice, if a little naïve. Is that Chad’s type?”

Jared blinks. “Nice but naïve?” Then he realizes that Jensen’s talking about him. “Yeah, I guess.”

“What exactly happened between you two?” Jensen asks, stealing a brownie off Jared’s plate. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, obviously, but I’m kind of intrigued.”

Jared glares at him over the theft of the brownie, but then he shrugs and goes back to a lemon square. “Well, neither of us used to be in the circus, if that’s what you’re after.” He shakes his head. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t mind talking about it. It’s just kind of stupid.”

“Jared, I dumped a girl in high school because the way she chewed her gum annoyed me. Also, I pretend to date people for a living. Trust me, I’m not judging.”

Jared half-smiles. “Okay. It was sophomore year of high school - Jeff had left for college, but Chad’s a year younger, so he was still around. And since his best friend was gone and he didn’t have a lot of other people to do stuff with, Chad started hanging around with me.” He shrugs. “And he was older and cool and whatever, and I had a crush on him. He figured it out, and we started fooling around. Anyway, I was sixteen and stupid and thought I was in love with him, so I told my parents. They kind of freaked out, and then Chad freaked out and denied the whole thing, and that was pretty much it.”

Jensen’s quiet for a moment, processing that. “So Jeff still doesn’t know?” he asks.

“No. I made my parents promise not to tell anyone, after, and I’m sure Chad never said anything. Jeff said Megan told him I dated some guy in high school, but he doesn’t know it was Chad.”

“And now Chad swears he’s straight?”

“As a ruler.”

“Asshole.”

“Well, it wasn’t all his fault. I shouldn’t have told my parents without talking to him first. And I shouldn’t have agreed to keep our relationship secret in the first place.”

“Jared, he hurt you badly enough that you’re still screwed up about it eight years later,” Jensen says flatly. “I’m allowed to call him an asshole. Trust me, if I didn’t think you were more than capable of doing it yourself, I’dve already offered to kick his ass.”

Jared feels kind of stupid about how good that makes him feel. He’s pretty sure that, being a guy, he’s not supposed to get all swoony over another guy offering to defend his honor, but it’s nice to know that Jensen would do that for him. Jared really is capable of doing it himself, though, which saves him from feeling like a girl, even if he’s not going to. Violence never solves anything, anyway.

He tells Jensen that, and Jensen laughs. “Yeah, I suppose. It does make you feel a lot better sometimes, though.”

Before Jared can reply, Jeff drops into an empty chair at their table. “You didn’t think I was joking when I said no strippers at the bachelor party, right?” he demands, looking worried.

“Uh, no,” Jared replies. “Why?”

“Chad’s been dropping hints about how amazing the whole night’s going to be,” Jeff says, running a hand through his hair. “And I don’t know about you, but when he tells me I’m going to have a life-changing experience, I get nervous.”

“As far as I know, the party’s going to be stripper-free,” Jared tells him. “I have no idea what the life-changing part is about, but as long as you say no to drugs and keep your pants on, the damage should be minimal.”

“That’s not really that reassuring,” Jeff says darkly. “You’re both going to be there, right? I need to know someone sane is watching out for me.”

“Yeah, of course,” Jared says. “It’s your bachelor party. Why wouldn’t we be there?”

Jeff blinks, then blushes a little. “Uh. I just wasn’t sure if, you know…” He waves a hand at Jensen. “Because girlfriends usually go to the bachelorette party, and I know you’re not Jared’s girlfriend, but all the bridesmaids are kind of really attached to you.” He pauses. “Um. No offense. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jensen says, smiling faintly. “I did get invited to the bachelorette party. But I thought I’d better keep Jared company.”

Jeff nods. “Okay. Well. Here’s hoping we make it through the night with nothing horribly embarrassing happening.” He waves and heads off.

“Right,” Jared mutters when he’s out of earshot. “Because that conversation wasn’t embarrassing enough.”

“It could’ve been worse,” Jensen says, shrugging.

“I really don’t want to know how. And you!” Jared says, pointing. “You can’t abandon me for the women!”

“I’m not!” Jensen protests. “Didn’t I just say I was coming to Jeff’s party?”

“You’d better be. I need you! You can’t just go off getting invited to bachelorette parties and leave me alone with Chad.”

“No one’s leaving you alone with Chad,” Jensen says, rolling his eyes. “Come on. We should get back to the hotel and change.”

*     *     *

Part Four